Stirred (Twisted Fox Book 1)
Page 20
I roll my eyes at her half-assed forgiveness and don’t bother correcting the my son part.
She pats the space next to her with a smile as half-assed as her forgive-me speech. “Come on. Let’s watch a movie. We’ve never had the chance to really hang out and have sister time. Maybe it’s time we got to know each other.”
We’ve never had sister time because you always kicked me out of the room and told me to go read a book.
“Sorry, but I have plans,” I say.
“Can I come?” She raises a brow.
“Nope. There’s no plus-one.”
“You’re going to see him, aren’t you?”
“Nope.” Technically, I’m going to see Noah.
She crosses her arms and scowls. “Why can’t I come then?”
“I’m hanging out with Georgia, and word is, you’re not her favorite person.”
She curls up her lips before pinching them together. “Wow, you seem to really be cozying up to them, huh?”
I ignore her comment, go to my bedroom to change out of my scrubs, and leave.
I almost said no to going to La Mesa.
It’d only give me memories of coming here with Cohen.
Noah loves it, though, so I agreed.
I order something different than my usual.
Something different than what Cohen said he always ordered.
It’s back to old times where I’m hanging out with Georgia and avoiding Cohen.
I hate it.
We devour our food, and then Noah goes to play in the arcade. I laugh as I watch him play some basketball game.
“You and Cohen need to talk about things,” Georgia says from across the booth.
I glance at her as she sips on her margarita. “I take it, Cohen told you about us?”
I’ve been waiting for her to bring this up all night, and I’m surprised it took her this long. She knows something happened when she came over the day after my fight … and random sex with her brother. With how nosy Georgia can be, she probably had a list of questions for him.
“Told me?” she replies. “Cohen doesn’t tell me anything, but I can read my brother.” Concern etches on her tan face. “He’s heartbroken, and I’ve only seen him this broken a few times. He cares about you, Jamie. He was ready to take that step with you. He’s falling in love with you.”
“He’s falling in love with you.”
I’m half-tempted to snatch that margarita and suck it down.
“It’s too messy,” I croak out. “Ending it is for the best.” I dip a chip in salsa and shove it in my mouth to stop from crying.
“How so? The only messy part of your relationship is Heather.” Her nose turns into a snarl when she says my sister’s name.
“She’s my sister. It’s too weird.”
“Life’s weird. Embrace that strange bitch and roll with it.”
My shoulders slump as the truth pours out of me. “I want a boyfriend I can take home for the holidays. That’ll never happen with Cohen. Sure, there was sexual tension. We hooked up, eased that tension, and now, it’s over.”
“Is that tension over because there was nothing there after you banged, or are you ending it because of Heather?”
Why does it seem like all I do is talk about Heather anymore?
“Either way,” I say, “it can’t happen. Better to end it now before we hate each other.”
“I’ll take, Jamie, answer my question and stop bullshitting me for two hundred dollars, please.”
“I don’t know.” I throw my head back, wishing I’d ordered a shot of tequila. “Why do we always want the people we can’t have?”
“Tell me about it,” she grumbles. “Love can never be easy. What’s that saying? Love is patient, love is kind. Bullshit. It’s not that way with me. More along the lines of, Love is painful, love is hell.”
“And you’re over here, telling me to throw myself into love?”
“The man you love loves you back. He wants to be with you. There’s a difference.”
“Is there a man you love, but he doesn’t love you back?”
She shrugs. “Yep.”
“Who is this man?” I’m almost positive I already know the answer.
“No one.” She tightens one of her pigtails and looks away from me. “No one who matters anymore.”
I drum my fingers along the table. “We’ve done enough talking about my love life tonight. Let’s take a break for a moment and move to yours.”
“That’s not nearly as much fun.” She frowns.
“Oh, come on. I have to live with Heather. Feel sorry for me and give me the scoop.”
“Fine,” she groans, her face going slack. “There’s a guy, and things didn’t work out between us. I kept holding on, hoping things would change, but I’ve come to the realization that I’m wasting my time. I told him I was done, and I’m at the point where I’m working through getting over it.”
I hesitate before asking, “Does that guy happen to be Archer?”
Her eyes widen, and I’ve never seen her lost for words. “What?”
“Babe, I was secretly in love with your brother for years.” My smile is compassionate. “I know what it looks like—the pain and longing for someone you can’t have.”
“Yet you can have that guy now.” She leans closer to me, her voice lowering. “Archer and I have history, but when he found out Cohen was my brother, he pretty much told me to fuck myself. Now, I hate him.”
“What do you mean, have history? Did you—”
“Aunt Georgia! Jamie,” Noah yelps, appearing at the table with a stuffed frog in his hand. “Look what I won, you guys!”
Georgia stands up from the couch and looks down at me with a smile. “Cohen will be home soon, and I have a thing I need to get to.”
“A thing?” I question, scrunching up my nose while in the kitchen with Georgia. “You can’t have a thing. You’re my babysitter, remember?”
And the person who helps me avoid Cohen.
I don’t mind her leaving me with Noah.
“You’re coming back after this thing before Cohen returns, right?” I ask.
“I trust you won’t kidnap Noah,” she answers.
Her words remind me of that night at the hospital when I asked Cohen if he thought I’d kidnap Noah.
“My brother was hurt and pissed about Heather’s little visit when he enforced the whole babysitter rule,” she says. “Everything will be peachy. I promise.”
“Why do I feel like I’m being set up?”
Her hand moves to her chest. “I’m innocent, and I would never do anything like that.” She laughs while I follow her into the living room where Noah is playing with Legos. “All right, big guy. Time for me to go. Jamie is going to stay with you until your dad gets home.”
“Cool!” Noah jumps to his feet to deliver a kiss on her cheek, and she leaves me with the anxiety of having to face Cohen.
I help Noah with his homework, we build a pillow fort, and an hour later, he’s asleep in it. Being with them tonight has helped ease my anxiousness from talking to Heather, but when Cohen gets home, it’ll rebound in full force.
I bite at my nails when I hear the door open and footsteps approaching. This isn’t a fear that it’s a serial killer coming; it’s fear of the impending conversation.
Be chill.
Act normal.
“Hey.”
I turn back to see him from over the back of the couch. “Hi. I told Georgia you wouldn’t be happy if she left me alone, but she ditched us.”
“I told her it was fine,” he answers. “She made it clear I was being a dick with the whole supervised-visit rule anyway, which I was. I’m sorry, Jamie.”
There’s nothing hotter than a man who apologizes.
Who owns his bullshit.
“I’m sorry too,” I reply. “For everything.”
My eyes follow him as he circles around the couch. He’s wearing a shirt with the bar’s logo on it, and he smirks at me as he tak
“Impressive.”
I flip my hair over my shoulder. “They call me the Fort-Building Master.”
He bends down to pick up Noah in his arms, and his son snuggles into his shoulder. I watch his back while he carries Noah down the hallway, and they disappear into his bedroom.
I chew at my nails again, then play with my hair, and then count my fingers while waiting for Cohen to return.
How will this go?
I’m not sure how much time has passed when he treks into the living room and collapses onto the chair next to the couch.
“You look exhausted,” I can’t stop myself from saying.
Good job, Jamie.
Start the convo with an insult.
Jamie Gentry, MD, Idiot of Relationships.
There’s a distant look in his eyes before he rubs them. “I’ve had a lot going on these past weeks.”
Guilt sweeps through me as I stare at him, speechless.
He sprawls out in the chair. “How have you been?”
I bite into my lip as I answer, “Do you want the truth or the fluffy answer?”
“The truth. I always want the truth from you.”
I sag against the cushions. “I’ve been sucky.”
His eyes, no longer as distant, meet mine in understanding. “We miss you, Jamie. I miss you.”
Same.
So damn much.
I’m afraid to say those words, though. It’ll only make things complicated, but I miss them so much that it physically hurts my heart. I cry in the shower, in my car while on my way home from work, and when I think about how much I miss being in Cohen’s arms.
“I wish our situation were different,” I whisper.
He scoots to the edge of the chair, spreads his legs, and rests his elbows on his knees, leaning in closer. “Our situation is what makes us, what brought us together. It’s not fair to you, your heart, or me to break things off because of Heather’s mistakes.”
“You said you were falling in love with me,” I blurt, moving toward a conversation I need to stay far, far away from. “Did you mean it?”
His words run through my mind day and night.
The look in his eyes, the emotion that was on his face, showed me the truth.
He meant it, but I want to hear him say them again.
I’m selfish.
“Do you think I throw those words around foolishly?”
“No.” I shut my eyes.
He waits until I open my eyes before saying another word. “We can figure this out. Quit giving a shit what Heather thinks.”
“It’s not only Heather; it’s also my parents. My entire damn family, Cohen. They’re hardly speaking to me now.”
I want to go back to the I love you conversation.
Those words from his mouth.
That’s what I want to talk about.
Not Heather. Not my parents. Not the reasons we can’t be together.
Tonight will be the last time I hear him say them to me.
“Explain the situation to them. Your parents are rational,” he argues.
“It’s hard not to look like an asshole when your sister was shot, and now, you’re screwing her ex-boyfriend and the father of her child.”
“Noah isn’t her child.”
“You know what I mean.” Tears fill my eyes. “I’m sorry, Cohen. I really am. If things were different, had it been before Heather came home, it would’ve been easier for us to be together. But with her here, with what happened, it’s changed everything.” I wipe tears off my cheek, and my hands start shaking. “I hate losing you; trust me, it’s the last thing I want. My heart is bleeding because of it, but I want to do the right thing, be a good person, and I don’t want to let anyone down.”
“You’re letting me down.”
My chin trembles. “I am.”
“You’re letting yourself down.”
“I am.”
“For other people.”
“For other people,” I repeat, covering my mouth in an attempt to stop the impending sobs.
It’s the moment when I see it flash in his eyes.
Not anger.
Hurt, yes, but also understanding.
As if, in the pit of his heart, he knew this would backfire as much as I did.
That, no matter how badly we want it, it won’t happen.
He grips the arms of the chair and pulls himself to his feet. “Guess it wasn’t meant to be then.”
I’m inhaling deep breaths when he stands in front of me and holds out his hand. I grab it, and he cups it tight as I stand, my body brushing against his.
He catches my chin between his thumb and forefinger with sadness in his eyes.
“Can we still be friends?” I whisper.
“Sure, fine, whatever.”
I’m not sure who makes the first move, but our lips meet, and just like that, we fall into the same pattern we’ve had.
He groans my name into my mouth, grabbing my ass, pulling my front into his growing erection.
I pull away, my breathing ragged. “We can’t.”
His forehead rests against mine. “Gotcha.”
It’s after one when I get home.
“Where have you been?”
If there is any moment for Heather not to fuck with me, it’s now.
I ignore her and start walking toward my bedroom.
“Were you with Cohen all night?” she shouts to my back. “Did you have sex with him?”
I whip around, and her eyes widen when I charge toward her. “You want the truth? Yes, I was with him.”
Her mouth flies open. “You lied about hanging out with Georgia.”
“I was with Georgia and Noah, and when Cohen got home, I was with him.” I raise my voice. “And you want to know what we did, Heather? Do you really want to know?”
“I do.”
“We didn’t have sex.”
We broke each other’s hearts.
Which is worse than sex.
At least in just-sex situations, you don’t feel broken after walking away.
She stutters for words.
“We broke things off.” I inhale a deep breath to hold back tears. Unlike Cohen, she doesn’t deserve them. “We broke things off because of you. Because, like the good sister I am, I don’t want to hurt you. Like the good fucking person I am, I’m sacrificing my happiness for my family’s—to do what everyone else thinks is right.”
She wraps her arms around her, hugging her body. “I never asked you to do that.”
I scoff, “Not directly, no, you didn’t.”
“You and he are wrong,” she grinds out. “I’ve said it. Mom’s said it. Anyone I’ve talked to has said it.”
I can only imagine how many people she’s told.
How many times she’s played the victim.
I raise my arms before dropping them to my sides. “It doesn’t matter who was right or who was wrong. It’s done. To thank me, you can get the hell out of my house.”
I turn around, ignoring her calling my name, and slam my bedroom door shut.
30
Cohen
The Gentry girls.
They’ve been nothing but trouble in my life.
I’m on alert at all times now.
Nervous that Heather will pop up somewhere or that we’ll run into her.
I’ve had nightmares where she tells Noah who she really is.
It’s been two weeks since I’ve talked to Jamie.
She has been regularly hanging out with Georgia and Noah.
I won’t take that away from my son.
No matter how hard she stomped on my heart.
I’m a big boy. I’ll deal with it.
I pull my phone from my pocket when it rings, and I see the number of Noah’s school flash onto the screen.
“Mr. Fox, Noah fell off the monkey bars at recess.”
There’s no freak-out this time.
No animosity.
Awkwardness, some.
Sadness, a little.
Jamie isn’t shocked when she walks into the exam room to find Noah and me. The nurse, the same one who was with us before, must’ve given her a heads-up we were here. We share a quick smile before she moves to Noah, her forehead scrunched in concern.
Even in pain, Noah perks up when he sees her. “Hey, Jamie!”
“Hi, sweetie,” she says. “I heard you had a little fall on the playground.”
“It hurts,” he whines, limply holding up his arm to show her the damage.
While on the monkey bars, he tried to jump from one bar to another. He fell, and while using his hand to break the fall, he ended up hurting his arm.
She carefully inspects his arm, telling him how good he’s doing, before glancing back at me. “It seems like a broken arm, so let’s get an X-ray and see what we’re working with.”
I nod. “He was bound to break something by the time he hit his teens.”
“Young kids and broken bones are definitely not a rarity here.” She lightly pats Noah’s leg. “Someone will come in shortly, take you upstairs, and give you an X-ray of your arm.”
“Will it hurt?” he asks with a trembling lip.
“It won’t hurt. And when you get back, I’ll get you a sucker. How’s that sound?”
“That sounds awesome.”
“I’ll check on him when I can,” Jamie says.
I nod again.
Ten minutes later, the X-ray tech comes in and wheels Noah out of the room in his bed. I sit back in my chair and text everyone an update on Noah’s condition. I place the phone on my lap at the sound of a knock, expecting it to be Noah returning, but Jamie steps in the room with a handful of suckers.
She holds them up. “For when he gets back.”
“Mind if I get one?” I say.
She tosses me a sucker before setting the rest down in the empty chair next to me.
“How have you been, babe?”
We both wince when I say babe.
It fell out naturally. I hadn’t meant for it to.
She shoves her hands into the pockets of her jacket. “Busy. Working.”
“Heather still crashing with you?”
“Unfortunately,” she grumbles. “Which is probably why I’m working like crazy. Avoidance seems like my life at the moment.”
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