Lyrics of a Small Town

by Glines, Abbi

  Twice Emily and I had been asked if we were sisters. I was surprised the first time, but after the second time a lady asked, I figured it had to be the pale skin. That and we did work well together.

  Mrs. Hoover managed to get through four hundred readers in three hours. I was amazed. When she finally got to leave, we led her through the back and sent her off with a large bag of baked goods. She and her family were in town for a mini-vacation and we had enough slices of cake left to feed another hundred people.

  Once the place was emptied out we began the clean-up. I was washing pans in the kitchen when Emily came running back there.

  “HOLY HOTNESS, there is a sexy as hell guy asking for you out front. He came in and I told him we were closed and he said he was looking for you,” she gushed.

  I immediately thought of Saul, but why would he be here? He had kissed me and ran off. Coming to my work place this late seemed odd. Rio was waiting on me at Gran’s to go through the attic. I was exhausted, but I didn’t want to cancel either. I was curious about the man who could be the father of both of us.

  Drying off my hands on the apron I had tied around my waist, I walked around Emily and headed for the front of the shop. When I saw Drake standing in front of the empty bakery display, I was both disappointed and relieved. Although why he would come looking for me I had no idea.

  “Hey,” I said.

  He turned at the sound of my voice and flashed me the charismatic smile of his that made it okay for him to ask girls questions about blow jobs and get away with it. “Henley,” he drawled out my name.

  “Drake,” I replied. “You wanted to see me?” I asked, thinking of the dishes I still needed to wash and Rio being at the house waiting on me.

  “Yeah, when are you leaving?”

  “Uh, hopefully I can get out of here in thirty minutes, but I-”

  “Have Rio at your place. Yeah, I know,” he said interrupting me.

  I just nodded and waited for him to say more.

  He cleared his throat and glanced at the front door. “Can you step outside a minute?”

  “I guess,” I replied frowning.

  Hillya was sweeping the far side of the store where the signing had been held. She glanced up at me and I assumed whatever Drake came to say he wanted privacy.

  “I’ll be right back,” I assured her and she nodded.

  Following Drake outside, I was curious, but I hoped this was quick. When we were outside on the sidewalk, he turned to look at me. “It’s about Rio,” he said.

  If he was here to warn me off Rio, I was going back inside. I raised both my eyebrows and waited. Drake cleared his throat and for the first time since I had met him, he looked like he was struggling for words.

  “Saul is playing his guitar again. He is closed-off in his room, but he’s playing it. Writing a song it sounds like,” he paused and I took advantage of it.

  “Saul plays the guitar?” I asked surprised by this.

  Drake shifted his feet. “Yeah, he does but he hasn’t in a long time. We’ve been friends since he moved here. Rio and Saul were friends first then me. Anyway, Saul plays the guitar when he’s happy or maybe that’s not the word. He’s not really happy. He plays it when he’s inspired. When life doesn’t seem like shit. When he has hope,” Drake shrugged. “He started playing it the night you came to the house or that’s the first time I heard him play at least. I wasn’t sure what had him playing again but then he said something about you and the way he looked when he said your name… I realized you’re the reason he’s playing again.”

  I held up my hand to stop him. “No, Drake. I can assure you one hundred percent that it is not me that has him playing again. He doesn’t like me,” I said the first part with conviction, but the last part I wasn’t completely sure about. Last night had me questioning his dislike for me.

  Drake ran his hand over his mouth as if trying to cover his grin. “You think so, huh?”

  I nodded but said nothing.

  “Then explain to me why he threw a glass against the wall and then just walked out of the kitchen without a word after he found out that Rio was at your house tonight?”

  This had to be exaggerated or misconstrued. “I find it hard to believe it was because of me and why would he throw a glass against a wall? It was probably an accident.”

  Drake let out a short laugh. “No, Henley, it wasn’t an accident. He asked where Rio was when I was getting a bag of chips. I casually said ‘told me he was headed to Henley’s’ and then I turned around to face him. BAM! Glass shattered against the wall. Then he walked off.”

  As difficult as it was to believe Saul had smashed a glass over Rio being with me, last night’s weird conversation and kiss did happen. He had kissed me like he wanted to kiss me. It had been almost desperate. I shook my head.

  “He has Fleur,” I reminded him.

  Drake frowned. “Not anymore. Did you not hear about her insanity on the roof of her car?”

  “I saw it,” I told him.

  “Right, well, do you know why she was on the damn roof of an unparked car in the middle of the street?”

  “She was high or drunk,” I replied.

  “Wrong. Saul had broken things off with her, told her to leave again, and she flipped her batshit crazy switch.”

  “What?”

  Drake shrugged. “Saul ended things with her. She was wailing about him not loving her and that he wanted someone else.”

  “He ran after her to bail her out of jail,” I informed him.

  “Of course he did. That’s what Saul does. He rescues people. He got her ass out of jail, although I thought she could have used a couple days of reality check, and then he called her rich daddy in Mobile to come get her.”

  I glanced at the window to see Hillya now vacuuming. I had to get back inside.

  “Listen, Drake. If you are here to tell me not to date Rio or whatever, I am not dating him. We are friends and will only ever be friends. I don’t know why Saul broke the glass, or whatever. But this is a conversation that y’all need to have at your place. I don’t think it has anything to do with me, but I am flattered that you believe I could draw Saul’s attention.”

  Drake stared at me a moment then laughed. I wasn’t amused and glared at him ready to just leave him out here and go back inside. Today had been too long and I didn’t have nearly enough sleep for all this.

  “Rio and Saul have been best friends for a long damn time. Don’t be what comes between them,” Drake said. “You’re more dangerous than you realize.” He winked then and turned to walk away.

  I didn’t respond and I only stood there a moment, looking at him walk out to the road before going inside and finishing up. My mind was turning over everything Drake had said, though and by the time I left for the night, I wasn’t sure what I believed anymore.

  Sixteen

  Rio was asleep on the sofa when I walked in the door last night around eleven. I tossed a blanket over him before I went and got ready for bed. I barely remembered my head hitting the pillow. When my alarm went off, it felt as if I had just lain down.

  I left the house and headed for work with Rio still on the sofa asleep.

  Hillya was busy icing cupcakes when I arrived to start the new granola for the acai bowl I intended on calling the Summer Splash. She had Emily rolling out dough and the local country radio station was playing. Emily mumbled a good morning and looked as tired as I felt. Hillya had a travel mug full of coffee beside her and was wide awake and focused.

  We spent the next hour baking; Emily did some dancing when a song she liked came on, and Hillya asked me questions about my new acai bowl recipes. She was intrigued by the bowls and I knew she wanted to be able to make them herself.

  My mornings here were becoming something I looked forward to and enjoyed. I felt like I had found a place I fit in and people I liked being aroun
d. Gran had known this and thanks to her, here I was. The next item on the list would need to get done on Sunday. I was hoping to get two of the requests accomplished that day, but I was finding that Gran’s list wasn’t always cut and dry.

  “What ingredients do you need for the Banana Rama acai bowl you were telling me about?” Hillya asked me.

  “Several, do you have some paper? I can write it down,” I replied.

  “Emily, go to my office and find me a pen and paper please,” Hillya told her niece.

  Emily did a little shimmy to Little Big Town’s newest song about beer and whiskey on her way out of the kitchen. Hillya just shook her head and smiled. I went back to mixing more granola and my thoughts drifted to the things Drake had said last night. I had been going to talk to Rio about it, but he hadn’t been awake.

  “I’m sorry,” Emily said, coming back into the kitchen holding a picture frame.

  Hillya looked at it and frowned.

  “I might have done a hip kick and I knocked this picture of Rebel off the shelf. It broke, but I’ll buy you a new frame,” she said.

  I don’t know what else was said after that because my brain locked on the name Rebel. I stared down at the granola in the bowl, not wanting either of them to see the shock on my face. I had to work this through in my head before I asked any questions. How likely was it that there were two people named Rebel in this small town in the past forty years? I’m thinking that possibility is low.

  Emily had said Rebel. I’d heard it very clearly. There wasn’t another name I could think of that I could be confusing it with. I looked up and Hillya was gone from the kitchen. Emily appeared fine though and was pulling muffins from the oven. Where had the photo gone? Did Hillya take it back to her office? Why hadn’t I listened?

  “Where did Hillya go?” I asked as casually as I could.

  Emily shrugged. “Uh, to the office I think,” she replied.

  “I needed to give her the ingredients.” I also wanted a reason to go in her office and look at the broken photo.

  “Oh yeah,” Emily said scrunching her nose. “She left without getting those.”

  I tried to think of something to say that didn’t make me look suspicious. “Uh, is she upset over the frame?” I asked.

  Emily shook her head. “No the pic is okay. Just broke the frame.”

  I nodded and smiled, wishing she would say the name of the person in the picture again. “Good,” I said. “Maybe I should go find her and remind her about the ingredients.”

  Emily was doing a hip sway dance with the music while she poured batter into a pan. She didn’t respond. I could wait. I probably should wait. I picked up the bowl and poured the granola onto a baking sheet, glancing back toward the hallway leading to the office. The answer to so many questions could be in there, but if it was then…

  Gran.

  Gran had sent me here.

  Just like she had sent me to the farmer’s market.

  I stared at the door, trying to put pieces together and make sense of it all. If Rio was right and the tool boxes had not been the point of that visit, then was my coming here to work because I liked baking not the point of this job?

  “Emily?” I asked looking at her.

  She lifted her head to meet my gaze. “Yeah?”

  I took a deep breath then just asked. “Who is Rebel?”

  Emily glanced back at the hallway then looked at me. “Hillya’s son. His real name was Ryan but no one called him that. He died a long time ago though. Before I was born. He was my mom’s only cousin. Hillya only had him,” she said in a whisper.

  I stood there staring at her. Hillya had a son. His name was Rebel. He died before Emily was born. Gran… was this it? Is this why you sent me here?

  “How old was he?” I heard myself ask her, but it felt as if I was a spectator watching the scene instead of being a part of it.

  “Twenty. Car accident or maybe a motorcycle, I can’t remember what Mom said. Somewhere in Georgia, I believe. He was in college. I don’t remember the details. It’s been a long time since I asked Mom who he was,” Emily told me still whispering.

  I managed a nod and replied, “Poor Hillya.”

  She agreed and then I went back to making the granola because what else was I supposed to do. Gran knew and I now had no doubt why I was here, but did Hillya know… did she know about me?

  The rest of the morning was a blur. I messed up two drink orders, forgot to give someone change, and dropped an entire tray of granola on the floor. I kept looking at Hillya, trying to find the resemblance. Then there was Emily. Our parents were first cousins. Did we truly look alike and just not see it? Others had mentioned it. Hillya never had.

  By the time the lunch crowd was gone and the afternoon crowd began to slow some, I had almost talked myself into asking Hillya a few questions to see if she acted weird. She may be clueless but then she may be waiting for me to figure it out. Did she think I knew? What if she assumed my mom had told me or my gran? There was so many questions and my head felt like it was going to explode.

  “You two can leave. I have an evening shift coming in and I’ll stay until they get here,” Hillya called to us as we wiped down the front while we had no customers.

  “Want to go shopping?” Emily asked, looking hopeful.

  “I need sleep,” I told her because this morning that would have been true. Right now, I needed to be alone. I also needed to get in Gran’s attic and see if I found anything.

  Emily sighed. “Yeah, I probably do too. I think I drank too many espressos though.”

  I managed a smile and went to take off my apron, heading for the back. Hillya was pulling a lemon pound cake from the oven when I walked in. I wanted to study her closer but knew I couldn’t just stand there and stare at her. If she knew I was her granddaughter, wouldn’t she have told me? I also wanted desperately to go see the photo of Rebel in her office. She sat the pound cake on the island in the middle of the room and then looked at me.

  “Are you sure there is nothing more I can do before I go?” I asked her, wanting to ask her things far more important but afraid to.

  She smiled at me, but I could see she was exhausted. Her eyes looked tired and I was worried about her. She shook her head. “No, I’ll be leaving soon too. Go on home and get some rest. You’ve had a busy two days.”

  It was then she tilted her head to the side and sighed with a smile that I saw it. Or should I say, I saw me. It’s an odd thing. Looking at someone else and realizing you resemble them. I could see myself doing something just like that while looking at my reflection in the mirror. I had to shake myself out of this and stop gawking at the woman though.

  “Uh, okay,” I said heading for the back door. “See you tomorrow,” I called out.

  “Bye, Henley,” she replied and I held up a hand to wave but didn’t look back at her.

  Seventeen

  Rio was gone and the blanket I had thrown over him last night was neatly folded on the end of the sofa. I was glad he wasn’t here. I needed time to process first. I put my purse on the counter and went down the hallway toward the pull-down attic near the back bedroom. Stopping underneath it, I stared up at it. The fear of the ladder wasn’t what made me pause. It was what else I may find up there.

  When I went to work this morning, I hadn’t known that I would find out that the answers to my father had been right under my nose for weeks. “You could have just told me, Gran,” I said aloud. If she hadn’t been preparing to die, would she have ever told me? I had spent so many summers here and not once had she taken me to meet my other grandmother, or mentioned I had a brother. Why couldn’t she just have left me a letter telling me all this? The list she left lay in her bedroom on the dresser. I wondered if it held more secrets and just how deep this was going to get.

  I brought a chair from the kitchen and stood on it to reach the pull string o
n the attic entrance. Once I had it down, I didn’t think too long about it or the ladder would start to freak me out. Instead, I just went for it. At the top of the ladder, another string hung down and hit the side of my face. Reaching for it, I pulled and the light came on, illuminating the attic.

  There were boxes stacked against the far-right wall, and Christmas decorations covered the entire left side of the space. My throat got a lump in it when I saw Gran’s Santa in the back corner. It was life-size and when you pressed its hand, it would sing Jingle Bells. It was always beside Gran’s tree in the living room.

  I stepped up and stood on the floor and did a full circle. There was an old green trunk behind me and beside it was a coat rack with hats that I recognized as my granddad’s hanging on it. What looked like prom dresses were hanging on hooks on the wall behind them, covered in clear bags to protect the fabric. They had to have been mom’s.

  There was a lifetime of memories up here. Were all attics this way? My fear of ladders may have caused me to miss out on a lot. I went to the boxes on the right and began searching through them. Some were labeled with Gran’s handwriting and a permanent marker. Most were not.

  It took only a few minutes and some searching to find the first box of things that had been Mom’s when she was younger. Concert tickets to Hootie and the Blowfish, Boys 2 Men, and Garth Brooks, photos of Mom with friends, her first temporary driver’s license, and a blue-ribbon award for a Science Project.

  The box under it had mostly photos, so I sat it aside to take downstairs with me. It was the last box I came to that held letters. Folded-up lined paper that looked like something that was passed around in class in an old movie from like the eighties. I put it with the photo box and made sure there were no other boxes that might hold answers.

  Once I was sure I had everything, I went back to the ladder and took a deep breath to calm myself, before having to climb back down it while holding two boxes. Turning off the light on my way down, I managed to make it to the ground without an issue.