Seventh Seal: A Reverse Harem Tale (Lovin' the Coven Book 7)

by Jacquelyn Faye

  "We have the map and the key, did anybody bring a bus?" Dennis looked around the gathered. "How do we actually get there?"

  I sent another flare of power directly into the exposed plane on Shea's map and wrapped the room in shadow.

  We fell at least a foot to the spongy shadowstuff beneath us, but it was unlike any I'd ever seen before. Even the landscape was different. Usually we were surrounded by shards of light that led back to the mortal realm. This time, we were on a road. A road that looked suspiciously like water. We were standing on a frozen river leading through the night sky. Tiny pinpricks of light above us did little to illuminate the expanse around us, but it offered some comfort from the complete blackness.

  "There's people down there," Candace said shakily, pointing at the frozen river beneath us.

  Sure enough, souls floated by, lifeless eyes staring up at us through the frozen surface as their bodies drifted by.

  "It's the River Styx," Nana said with a bit of awe.

  "Well, I'm glad it's frozen since we don't have a boat," I answered drearily.

  "It is not frozen," Shea answered. "It is covered in shadow…"

  "Maybe we should just get going." Jimmy looked around nervously, jumping at things that weren't there.

  "There's no song. I don't think we're in the shadow realm," I muttered to myself.

  Shea reached back and patted my thigh. "I would suggest not taking your hand from the map, Lady."

  "Good call." I nodded at the back of his head.

  We all started shuffling forward, the river moving beneath us impossibly fast. It felt like an hour later that we halted before a wall of stone with a double doored gate standing twenty feet above us. It would have been impossible to climb even on its own, but the downward pointing spikes of obsidian didn't help either.

  "Never in my day," my mother whispered as she looked up.

  "Your day had tyrannosaurs until the big meteor put a stop to that."

  "Really, Mother?"

  "Well, that is the popular theory. But if those scientists had bothered to ask you, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

  "Little less quibbling? How do we open the gate?" I looked at Candace.

  She just shrugged.

  "Maybe just have her give it a push?" Josie offered meekly. "She is the key."

  Candace shrugged again and stepped to the seam between the giant doors and put her hands on either side. It was almost comical to watch her struggle and make little groaning noises as she put all her weight behind it. "I do not think this is going to work," she called out when a resounding thud that echoed in our chests filled the darkness. She squawked and backed away.

  The doors split and red light filtered through the crack between them as they pulled inward, stone grinding on stone. It wasn't a pleasant sound. The teeth in the back of my mouth started to ache in sympathy.

  "Little WD-40 would clear that right up," Jimmy said, mesmerized as he watched them slowly grind open.

  I finally had the courage to let go of the map. Uncharacteristically, the tattoos didn't dim when I pulled my hand away, either. At least the gate would remain open without me running around keeping one hand on Shea. As fun as that sounded, there was a time and place for everything.

  "Let's go," I said with more determination than I felt and stepped through the gate and into hell.

  The landscape was barren of everything except dust. Red rocks littered red sand beneath a red sky. Rivers, that had been apparent on the map, were trails of liquid fire leading northward.

  "Which way do we go?" Jimmy scanned the horizon.

  "Follow the river," I answered him.

  "Which one?"

  "Any of them. They all lead to where we're going."

  "You're the navigator." He tested the trail with a foot with a shrug. "Seems safe enough. Just red dirt."

  "Did anybody bring any water?" Mother passed me and followed Jimmy. It was going to be a long walk.

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  It turned out to be longer than I'd imagined. We ended up camping for the night, even though the sky never changed from its brilliant red hue. We were exhausted from walking, and for the first time in my life, I agreed with my mother. We should have brought some water.

  "Maybe we can shadow walk," I suggested after we were rested.

  "I would think not." Shea looked around and dusted off his overcoat. Thankfully, the fiery realm was fiery only in appearance. The temperature was quite chilly actually. I didn't, however, wish to dip my hand in the burning fire of the river.

  "Why? You don't think the shadow realm extends to Tartarus?"

  "Look around, Lady. Do you see any shadows?"

  I spun in a circle, looking for the shadow of myself that should have been there under the bright sky, but there was nothing. I wasn't half as creeped out being there as I was at that moment.

  "Never mind. Good call." Another thought quickly nagged at my brain. "Fidget?" I called his name softly and looked at the sleeve of my sweater. A full minute passed before I accepted that he wasn't there. "Shit. I hope he's okay."

  "I am sure he is. He was probably left in the mortal realm when we passed through."

  "Are your tattoos still lit?"

  He pulled his collar away from his flesh and I sighed in relief when it looked like he was hiding a blacklight under his shirt. "Yes."

  "Good. If you notice them dimming, let me know."

  "Why?"

  "Because they're our ticket home, I think. Best to keep the lines of communication open."

  "Wise."

  We set out and continued our trek over the sloping hills. Two hours later, and the fiery mountain was finally visible in the distance.

  "I feel like a hobbit," Jimmy murmured. "Nobody said Mordor was in Tartarus. Who has the ring?"

  Dennis chuckled beside him.

  "You doing okay?" Chief bumped my shoulder with his.

  "Yep. How you doin'?"

  "Thirsty as hell."

  "I don't see how there can't be any water anywhere. How could anything survive here?"

  "Look around. Do you see anything surviving?"

  He had a good point. "Anybody have a bag or something waterproof?" I looked at the rest of the group.

  "I have a pair of rubber gloves?" Dennis stepped closer and pulled a pair out of his jean's pocket. Leave it to the paramedic.

  "You kinky fucking bastard." Jimmy slapped him on the back.

  "I'd just left work. Bite me."

  I stopped reaching for them. "They're not…used, are they?"

  "No. I usually keep a pair in my pocket just in case."

  "Well, you're the new boy scout. Sorry, Chief. You're fired."

  "I can live with that."

  I opened one of the gloves and stuck my finger inside, whispering, "Uisce," and praying that my spell would work. Slowly the glove filled with water and started expanding. "Okay, everybody drink some," I said and passed it around.

  My mother took it first and punctured a hole in the middle finger with her nail before drinking some. "Ugh, it tastes like rubber."

  "I don't know whether to make an 'udderly disgusting' joke or an 'I'm sure that's not the first time you've had that taste in your mouth' joke first." Nana cackled.

  "Well, I'll be sure to make an 'I'm surprised you can't fit all five of them in your mouth at once' joke when it's your turn." Mother huffed and handed the glove to Candace.

  "Remind me to slap both of them with the glove when we're done," I whispered to Chief.

  "Make sure it isn't empty when you do."

  "A glove full of water might hurt."

  "Water? I was going to tell you to fill it with sand," Chief said with a throaty chuckle.

  A shriek pierced the otherwise quiet. Yuki took a couple of strides forward and peered at the mountain. "Uh…that mountain is surrounded by angels."

  "What? Where?" I stood next to her, putting my hand on her shoulder. That was the first words she'd spoken since we'd left.

  "Fly
ing around the mountain," she answered curtly.

  "You can see that far?"

  "You could too if you'd try. But it just goes to show you, you do need us." She humphed and walked away.

  Pissed off I was going to go off on my own again?

  Lord forbid you ask for help instead of leaving us to pick up your pieces.

  Yep. She was pissed. Not that I could blame her. I'd done exactly what I'd promised I'd never do again.

  I'm not too happy with you, either. Dar wasn't angry, more disappointed. I felt it more than heard it.

  Nor I. Shea seconded. Technically, he thirded, but the list of people who were pissed at me was usually pretty long.

  I'm not angry. Just confused.

  Thanks, Ellis.

  You are welcome.

  Jimmy cuffed me in the back of the head. "So, what are we going to do?" He motioned toward the angels.

  "Hide if we can and try our best to be sneaky bastards."

  It took nearly four more hours and two gloves of water before we were close enough to make out the details of the mountain that wasn't a mountain. It was a giant castle carved from stone. It might have been a mountain at one time, but Mephistopheles had made it into a big ass fortress.

  "Two in front of the door and another twelve circling overhead like righteous buzzards. Think there's a back door?" Chief asked as quietly as possible. Even whispering, I was watching the angels warily. Who knew how good their hearing was.

  "Doubt it. Wouldn't be much of a fortress. I don't see any sewer grates either. Think we only have one option."

  Master?

  I looked over at Dar.

  I have an idea.

  What?

  He shimmered for a moment before growing two feet, gaining rows of razor like teeth, and sprouting a pair of wings. I stared at him in disbelief.

  I thought you could only assume a form of something you've consumed?

  I can't.

  You mean?

  He shrugged.

  That's disgusting.

  Tell me about it. I had indigestion for a month. Can you conjure some chains? He stared at me hopefully.

  I can.

  Then you are now my prisoners.

  Only when I, and everybody else, was shackled behind him did I realize how stupid of a plan it was. This never works out well in the movies.

  You watch too many movies.

  From the rocks where we'd hidden, we marched as Dar dragged us along in tow. The angels circling above us continued to do so, keeping their distance, but focusing their attention on us below, slowing their lazy spirals.

  At least they're not attacking, Dar said proudly.

  They're a couple of hundred feet above us. Let's see how well we do with the two guarding the door.

  "They do not appear to be arch angels, at least," Candace whispered behind me.

  "No, they don't." The arch angel in the town square had been more human looking in its beauty. The two ahead had the same shark-like grimace as Dar. It was a shame he hadn't munched on one of their more powerful cousins.

  When we made it to a short distance away, they came to life and crossed their spears, barring entry. One of them said something in a language I'd never heard before and hoped to never hear again.

  Dar answered in English. "The child of Aodh."

  Both angels tilted their heads and took a step forward, keeping their spears crossed and muttering something else.

  "They are confused. Lady Belenus didn't say anything about more prisoners. Tell him to say, 'Vicna nao Belenii mith vorath.'"

  I relayed Candy's message to Dar, who repeated it. It would have been so much easier if Candace had telepathy, too. I sucked at repeating things. I needed to pick up a copy of Angel as a Second Language for the store.

  "How do you know what they're saying or what to say?" I whispered my question to Candace.

  "I do not know. I am just grateful I do."

  The guards uncrossed their spears and stepped apart, reaching out with their free hands, and pulling the doors open for us. I thought we were home free until they pulled them shut behind us and brought up the rear.

  Which way? Dar hissed the question in my mind, panic tinging his mind speech.

  I don't fucking know! Left! Go left! We had a fifty-fifty shot of guessing right.

  The angels shouted angrily behind us. I chose poorly.

  The sound of gunfire echoed in the stone hallway as Chief fired off two rounds, one in each of the angel's faces. It didn't drop them, but they screamed in agony for a moment while their wounds healed. Their silvery blood stopped spreading across the front of their white garments. Long enough for me to pluck my scythe from my neck and slash them from shoulder to hip in two swings.

  Blood splattered the walls beside us, but still they didn't fall.

  Aim for their necks! Dar managed to shout before a hell hound leapt over all of us and encircled one of their heads in its massive jaws. Ignoring the crunching going on, I took another swipe with my scythe. It went in, but it didn't come out, getting hung up on its spine. Growling, Yuki circled around it and latched onto its back, finishing the job with her hands, and throwing its head against the wall with a frustrated snarl and a dull splat.

  Their bodies kept quivering even as the blood from the rest of their bodies poured out onto the floor. It was kind of pretty in an obscenely morbid sort of way. "Drinking unicorn blood will keep you alive, even if you are an inch from death, but at a terrible price," I whispered.

  "Shut up, Firenze," Yuki giggled and shook the blood from her hands.

  Dar shifted back into his more angelic form. "So, keep going left, or go the other way like we were supposed to?"

  I almost said right, but something was tugging me in the opposite direction, something in my heart. "Left," I said blankly and pointed.

  Hugging the walls and wishing for shadows, I led the way until the narrow hallway opened into a giant cavern complete with pits of flame and scattered bones. And two more angels guarding the door at the opposite end of the cavern. Two angels who had seen us before we had seen them. There was no time to redon our shackles and pretend to be prisoners. Screeching like banshees, they swept across the room, spears leading the charge.

  The fireball that Nana set off right in front of them filled the cavern with fire, knocked us all on our asses, and singed off my eyelashes.

  "Holy fuck," Chief groaned as he stood slowly.

  I was quite content lying on my back against the cool stone beneath me. It felt like I had opened the oven door to grab the brownies and forgot to give the heat a second or two to dissipate. Times a thousand.

  "Everybody okay?" I swear I saw smoke come out of my mouth when I spoke.

  There was a chorus of disgruntled affirmations.

  "Oops," was all Nana offered by way of apology.

  "Holy hell, Mother." My mother stood and put out a few smoldering spots on her silky black wrap.

  I just stared at the two charred heaps that hadn't even made it halfway across the cavern, reminded once again why I never wanted to piss off my Nana.

  "Now I want chicken wings," Jimmy said as we moved closer, starring at the crisp stumps protruding from their backs.

  "There is something really, really wrong with you. I hope you know that." Yuki stared at Jimmy, shaking her head.

  "Oh, come on. Who doesn't like chicken wings?"

  "Me."

  "You don't count. You'd like them if you could eat them."

  "I could just eat you."

  Jimmy paled and backed away.

  "Come on. Let's find your father," Nana said and moved toward the door. "I really want a nice cold shower."

  "Cryogenics isn't safe, Mother."

  I just shook my head and followed the two most dangerous weapons in our arsenal and tried to ignore their banter.

  The staircase led down, and I decided to take that as a good sign. Every castle had a dungeon. Every dungeon was down. Dungeons were also where they kept prisoners. Hopefu
lly, the castle wasn't inverted, and he was in the highest room of the tallest tower, waiting for his true love and his true love's first kiss.

  I looked over at Jimmy. At least we brought our donkey.

  After one spiral, the circular staircase opened into a pit going down and down and then down some more. It wasn't completely black more of a deep purple. The staircase continued as far as the eye could see, the bottom lost in the abyss.

  "Nobody fall," Dennis said solemnly as we peered over the edge.

  "Nobody push Jimmy," Jason added as an afterthought.

  "Wow, the love is real." I chuckled and continued down the stairs.

  "I'm going to scout ahead," Yuki said as she passed us on the outside of the stairs, disappearing in a gust of wind as she practically flew down them.

  Be careful, I said as I took the steps one at a time.

  Like you do when you go off on your own?

  Touché.

  Her mental sigh was a real thing. I heard it. I'm sorry, Master.

  Don't be. I kind of deserved that.

  You just make me so angry when you do self-righteous, self-sacrificing, stupid, ignorant, never-learning, stubborn bullshit every damn time. Trust us. We're here to protect you, not the other way around.

  Gosh, don't hold back. Tell me how you really feel.

  She gave me a light mental chuckle.

  I have no problem with that, Yuki. If the shit we were facing were normal shit. But vampire lords, gods… Come on. You are protecting me by not putting yourself in stupid amounts of danger. I love you guys so fucking much, and it would devastate me if anything ever happened to any of you.

  And that's exactly how we feel. Stop. Doing. Stupid. Shit.

  Yes, ma'am, I mentally muttered and kicked a stone over the edge as I continued down the steps. It was a full few seconds before the clatter of its impact reached our ears.

  You at the bottom yet?

  No. Quit throwing shit at me.

  Sorry.

  Now I am. There's another door and more guards. Have Nana drop another fireball.

  Doesn't work like that. She needs to see it to set it off.

  Fine. I'll take care of these two.

  Yuki? Yuki! No! Negative! Stand down! Heel!

  Unfortunately, I felt the impact of her against the unforgiving stone wall at the base of the cavern. With a scream of pain and rage, I launched myself over the edge, ignoring the shouts of the rest of our party. I fell most of the way before plucking my broom from my neck and floating down the rest of the way. With one hand, I clung to the broom and landed in the middle of the circular cavern behind the two angels almost on Yukina. Rage burned through me as I swung the broom, feeling it thicken in my hands and slow as it shifted into my wicked looking scythe. That time, I managed to sever the head of one as the blade sunk into the shoulder of the other. One was silenced, the other shrieked in anger as it rounded on me.