by Jay T
“No. I don’t,” I say. “I have no idea that you care about me in the slightest. I must be the last person you care about since we haven’t had a single real conversation since you got here.”
He takes a step back and breaks contact with me. I can’t help but want him to close that distance again.
“Eva, I have nothing to offer you right now. Just,” he looks down the hallway at the group of people getting out of lunch and headed to their lockers. He turns back to me. “Wait for me. Please.” He takes a step closer to me and then another. I look up at him as he slowly lowers his face to mine and touches my forehead with his.
I want to ask what I’m waiting for. I want to know how long I have to wait. But I don’t say anything, afraid my voice will betray me by shaking. He pulls back and touches my cheek as I meet his eyes and lean into his touch that I want and need so badly.
“Wait, just, wait,” he begs again before turning and leaving.
I sigh and look up at the ceiling. Why does he have to be so damn elusive and confusing all the time?
Amy comes up a moment later holding her phone out. “Look.”
She shoves the phone in my face. She took a photo of Evan and me when his forehead was pressed to mine. “Now look at the look on that man’s face and tell me you don’t control him.”
I shove the phone back at her. “If I had any control over him,” I say. “I wouldn’t need Andre.”
39 evan
Eva doesn’t think I care about her. That stings. I guess I’ve been keeping her at arm’s length. The last bell rings and I head up to my locker to see if I can find her. She’s there getting her books.
Conversation. This will be just a conversation. Nothing wrong with that.
“How do you feel about pizza?” I ask her.
She turns around and looks at me and shrugs.
“Do you have time to meet me at the pizza shop up the road?”
“Meet you there?” she asks.
I look down, “Uh yeah. I gotta run out later.”
“I don’t know.”
“I think I saw on Facebook they’re serving chicken bacon ranch by the slice. I didn’t have much of an appetite at lunch and now I’m starving.”
“Yeah, my lunch was rudely interrupted as well,” she says.
Hot damn she’s spicy. “Chicken bacon ranch,” I reiterate.
She rolls her eyes, “Fine, I’ll follow you there.”
I smirk and wait for her to finish getting ready and close her locker for her. She walks beside me down the hallway and I grab hold of my own backpack to keep from putting my hands on her.
Just a conversation.
At the pizza joint Eva says to the cashier, “I’ll take two slices of your chicken bacon ranch please.”
“I’ll take the same. And can we get two sodas too please?” I ask.
I pay and the cashier says he’ll bring the food to the table. I hand Eva her cup and follow her to the soda dispenser. I expect her to fill it with Dr. Pepper and when she does, I try not to smile.
We find a booth in the back of the largely empty restaurant and I take a seat across from her.
“So,” Eva says.
I smile at her. Is she feeling uncomfortable with me? “So,” I reply. I take a sip of my soda and lean back in the seat. “I’m here for a real conversation. I’m an open book.”
She raises an eyebrow and leans back in her seat.
“Where’s Naomi?” she asks.
“She’s gone.” I look up.
“Not coming back?”
“Not here. She’ll be back somewhere else though in a few years,” I say.
“Why a few years?”
“Well,” I say. “For a few reasons. Sometimes it takes a few tries to make it here. Time also doesn’t really apply up there like it does here and planning takes time.”
“Do you know what’s going to happen in the future?”
“I do not. I knew up until the point of the first accident, from there, we write our own story.”
The food arrives and Eva smiles and gives a polite thank you. I’m starving. I dig into my food. A few minutes later Eva continues.
“You gave up your wings to come here?”
I swallow and look at the pizza in my hand. “Yes, I did.”
“Did you know that was going to happen?”
“Yes.”
She’s silent for a moment and I set my pizza down and meet her eyes. She’s struggling with her next question. “Do you regret it?” she finally asks.
I answer immediately, “Not for a second.”
She’s quiet for a moment before picking up her pizza again and taking a bite. I do the same.
“Are you going to play basketball this year?” I ask.
“Yeah, I’m actually kind of excited about it,” she says.
I smile. “I’m very happy to hear that.”
I work up the courage for my next question. “You get home ok after the game Saturday?”
She smirks and says, “Yep, no accidents.”
I know she knows what I meant.
“You get home ok after the party Friday night?” she tosses back at me.
Oh shit, did someone tell her I was talking with Sondra? Is she jealous about that? “Safe and sound. Car is still clunking down the road.”
We eat in silence again. “I got a last name,” I say, smiling.
Eva gives me a funny look.
“I got papers.”
She gives me a confused look.
“A birth certificate,” I explain further.
“Oh,” she says. “Oh, I,” she makes a funny face. “I didn’t realize. I didn’t think about that.”
I smile. “Evan Darius.”
“Darius. I like it. Who picked that out?”
“I’m guessing Naomi. I found a note she left and I went to the address she gave and that was the name on the papers. I’m legit now.”
She smiles at me. “I’m happy for you.”
“How’s Ethan doing?”
“He’s really good. Aunt Kami wants to keep him. She’s working on paperwork to be a foster parent and adopt him,” she says. “But they’re giving her a hard time with not being married and moving in the last few years. They don’t feel she’s stable enough.”
“That sucks,” I say.
“Yeah, but, Aunt Kami isn’t going to stop and your foster mom is helping her.”
Huh, I didn’t know that.
“How do you feel about him living with you?” I ask.
She smiles. “I absolutely love it. It’s like having a little brother.”
I resist the urge to reach out and hold her hand that’s resting on top of the table. I can almost feel her asking me to touch her. I put distance between us instead and lean back in my seat, finished with the meal.
“I’d ask you about your music, but that hasn’t been a great topic of conversation for us in the past,” she says.
Huh? What is she talking about? Oh, at the fosters when she came over and I basically threw her out of the house. I give her the best apologetic look I can muster. “I was having an off day that day.”
“Just that day?” she asks.
Ooo. I chuckle. “We’re waiting to hear back if we got a gig. We sent a video of the pep rally to a band’s manager.”
“Oh, the pep rally. Well, I’m sure they’ll think it’s quite sexy.”
I stepped into that one. “We’ll be in Washington for a few days if we get it.”
“Washington?”
I nod.
“What’s the band?”
“Centuries.”
She looks shocked. “Really? That’s so exciting! What are you guys going to do with them if you get it.”
“We’ll be the opening act. They’re starting a tour in a few weeks.”
“That’s amazing.”
It seems like she’s becoming more comfortable the longer we talk. “Well, I should probably get going,” she says eventually. “I’m supposed to mee
t Amy later to shoot some hoops.”
“I’ll walk you out,” I say. I have to walk far enough behind so that I don’t put my arms around her.
My phone rings in my pocket. I ignore it.
Eva looks at me when she gets to her car. “Have a good night,” I tell her.
It takes every bit of self-control I have not to push her against her car and kiss her until our lips are raw. If she presses for it, I won’t be able to turn her down. She hesitates for just a moment and it’s almost enough for me to pull her to me. She turns and I open her car door for her.
“Good night, Evan Darius,” she says. I close the door behind her and make my way to my car. The phone rings again. It’s Brent.
“Hello?”
“Anny, we got it.”
“What?” I ask, hoping I heard him right.
“We leave Wednesday,” he says. Relief washes over me
I look over my shoulder to Eva’s car as it pulls out of the parking lot and resist the urge to call her.
40 eva
It’s Wednesday. The guys drove to Anchorage last night to catch a plane this morning for their tour with Centuries. I’m so incredibly proud of them but this will be a life changing event. Who will they be when they come home. Will they come home?
At lunch, Amy and I sit by ourselves until a few girls from last year’s basketball team join us. Natalie, Mallory, and Charlene plan to meet up with us over the weekend and play during open gym at the rec center. The conversation moves to Homecoming.
“We need to take a trip for dress shopping,” Amy says to me.
“Friday after school?” I ask.
“Yes! I need a distraction this weekend. I don’t want to think about all the famous people our guys are meeting right about now.”
I feel like I’ve just been gut punched. I set down my fork. “Oh sorry. You don’t have anything to worry about. Mr. Angel only has eyes for you,” Amy says.
“You keep saying that,” I whisper to her so the other girls can’t hear, “but I’ve only been around him just the two of us one time and he wouldn’t even touch me. I almost felt like I had cooties. I gave him every opportunity to kiss me goodnight and he wouldn’t take it.”
Amy makes a face. “Weird. But look at this.” She pulls out her phone and shows me the picture she took of us in the hallway. “Look at how he’s looking at you. He adores you.”
I look at it and my heart sinks. “I don’t understand him,” I whisper.
“Well, let’s get you in a smoking hot dress for homecoming and see if he can keep his hands off you then,” she smiles.
The thought has me so excited I suddenly can’t wait to go shopping.
“Too bad I let my apartment go. We could’ve spent the night there after shopping.” I say a little louder.
“Meh, let’s book a nice place and get massages and facials,” Amy says. “Let’s really take our minds off them. We’ll be back in time for our basketball time with the girls on Sunday.”
“That sounds wonderful.”
“Uh, I want to come,” Natalie says. She must have been eavesdropping.
“Can we make this a team trip?” Charlene asks.
“Yeah, I second that,” Mallory says.
I look at Amy. “Yeah, that sounds even better.”
We we make plans. Evan is still on my mind but he’s been pushed further back.
41 evan
When we get off the airplane in Seattle, there’s a guy in a suit holding a sign that says, “The Rousties.”
“That’s us!” Ryan yells.
The guys are excited as they make their way over to him.
We get our luggage, which there’s a lot of because we brought all our gear, and the guy takes it all out to a waiting limo.
“Oh man, I think we’ve arrived.” Liam says to Ryan.
We pull up to a very fancy hotel and the guy tells us our luggage will be in our rooms shortly.
“We don’t even have to carry our own crap,” Ryan whispers to Liam.
We go inside and the receptionist hands us three room keys and tells us we’re on the third floor.
“Who’s on the top floor?” Ryan asks.
“Other guests,” the receptionist answers, coyly.
Our rooms are suites and the beds are queen-sized. It’s very nice.
We get settled in and start to make plans to check out the city but the phone rings. Brent answers.
“Hello?” he pauses for a moment.
“Sure, what time?” I watch as he listens to the person on the other line.
“Yeah, ok,” he says. “We’ll see you then.” He turns around to look at me. “That was Michael, the head singer of Centuries, he’s upstairs in the penthouse and would like to meet us in ten minutes.”
“Oh.” I’m not sure what else to say.
“Yeah,” he says and sits down on the bed.
“You going to tell the other guys?” I ask.
“Yeah,” he says but he doesn’t move.
“I got it.”
I leave the room and go next door and knock.
Ryan answers. He’s wearing a fuzzy white bathrobe and has a shower cap on his head and a bottle from the bar in his hand. “Put that down,” I snap at him. “Get dressed. We’re going upstairs in two minutes.” If I say two minutes, it will take him ten.
Ryan drops the bottle with a shocked look. “They’re upstairs, aren’t they?” he asks.
I nod.
“They’ve been my favorite group for my entire high school career.”
“High school career?”
“Yep.”
“Then get dressed and stop messing around.” I shut the door and go across the hallway to knock on Robert and Tristan’s door.
Tristan opens it. “We’re headed upstairs in five minutes,” I tell him.
His eyes get big. “To, meet the band?”
“Yep.”
He nods and closes the door.
Ten minutes later, we’re assembled outside the door to the penthouse. Every one of us is nervous. Brent knocks on the door as I hang back. I can hear talking and moving about inside but it takes a full minute for the door to open. When it does, the lead drummer from Centuries is standing there looking confused. “Where’s the pizza?” he asks. Brent turns around and looks at me.
“They said it’ll be another hour,” I reply.
The drummer busts up laughing. “I’m just messing with you,” he says. “Come on in, come on in.”
Their whole band is here, all six of them. There are also a bunch of girls in the room with not a lot of clothing on. There are other random people who look like they’re just hanging out, probably managers and friends or something.
The band makes the introductions and we all sit down in the living room area of the penthouse. “So,” the bass guitarist asks, “is it too hot in here for you Alaskans? You need us to turn on the AC?”
“What’s AC?” Tristan asks deadpan.
“Air conditioning,” the guy replies.
“What’s air conditioning do?” Tristan continues.
“You’re messing with me,” he laughs and points at Tristan, “This guy’s a funny one.”
The lead singer leans in and says very directly, “Listen, guys, I’m going to be honest with you. I don’t want you kids here. You’re inexperienced. But my manager insisted we give you a chance. You know, the kids from Alaska who were buried alive in an avalanche, lost some limbs, and lived to tell their stories. So, make no mistake about this, you are a charity case. From the two videos I’ve seen, you got an alright sound. But sound is only a small part of a concert. You boys need to perform. You need to get that crowd warmed up; that’s why we’re hiring you. They’re not here to see you. They’re here to see me and you gotta make them excited about it. If you can’t deliver, you’re out.” He looks at all of us one at a time. “You’ll go on first and, there are two other bands behind you before us. I have no problems booting you if you can’t hack it. You get four days; afte
r that we’ll re-evaluate. You need to be in the lobby by 4 p.m. A driver will be waiting to take you to the arena, you go on stage at 6 p.m. Any questions?”
I think we’re all still trying to wrap our brains around what’s going on.
“Alright then, you get four songs. Make them count.”
I’ll take that as dismissed. I get up and the rest of the guys follow me.
“Thanks for the opportunity,” I say finally before I leave through the open door.
The lead singer nods at me and I close the door behind us. The elevator doors open and we ride back down to the third floor in silence. The doors open again and it takes a couple seconds for any of us to move.
“Holy shit,” Ryan mutters.
“We’re so not prepared for this,” Liam responds.
“You told them about the avalanche?” Tristan asks, his face white.
“I sent a bio with our tapes,” Brent answers.
Robert and Tristan stand in the elevator, tense and unmoving. Robert’s working his jaw back and forth. No doubt they didn’t need to be reminded that they were both buried alive not too long ago when we’re trying to prepare for a huge event like this.
“We’ve got 40 minutes, guys,” I say looking at my phone. “We need to hurry.”
“What?” Robert asks.
“It’s 3:20.”
The guys all take off to their rooms and I trail after Brent.
“Sorry about the bio. I didn’t know it would come up like that,” he says.
I shrug, “You got us here, man. They’ll be fine. Just maybe talk to them about that beforehand next time?”
“Yeah. You can get the first shower, I don’t have to look pretty on stage,” he says. “I’ll go get us all some Rockstars so we can pretend the part. Everyone looks tired. It’s been a long day already.”
“Fantastic idea, thanks, man.”
It only takes me 15 minutes to get ready. I pick up my guitar and run through our songs we already had picked out until it’s time.
The limo ride to the venue quiet. Brent is trying his best to give us a pep talk and get us ready, but I’m not listening and I’m pretty sure no one else is either; eventually he stops talking. The limo takes us to an underground parking garage and lets us out behind security at the back of the building. We grab the guitars from the back and head up to where the driver said our dressing room would be. We go up two sets of stairs and down a long hallway before we find a room with “The Rousties” on a piece of paper in Sharpie taped to a door.