by Jay T
Inside is a long couch, a makeup mirror, and water bottles in a bowl of ice and some snacks.
About 10 minutes later, there’s a knock at the door. I open it.
A petite lady with glasses and a nice dress stands there. “Hi, I’m Sarah,” she says. “I’m your guide, I guess you could say.”
The guys wave at her.
“Kind of a quiet bunch, aren’t you?” she asks.
“Nervous I think,” I say.
She nods, “Yeah, well, if you want to follow me, I’ll show you where you need to be. We need to hurry because they’ll start letting people in in about 30 minutes. If you need to do any kind of sound check, it needs to get done before then.”
We follow her down a couple of hallways and emerge backstage. The curtains are up and the auditorium is huge. It’s at least twice as big as the one we have in Anchorage.
Ryan says, “I think I just pissed myself.”
Robert and Tristan both laugh. “Me too, bud,” Robert agrees.
“Well, if we totally suck tonight, at least we can at least say we played here once.” Liam says as he makes his way to center stage. We set up our equipment. The microphone stands and stools are already here. Right behind the stage are a range of other instruments that can be easily swapped depending on what the band needs.
“Well, would now be a good time to start singing about having sweaty palms and weak knees? ‘Cause I’m about to vomit on my sweater,” Robert mumbles.
“At least your momma didn’t make spaghetti.” Tristan mumbles back.
Sarah says, “Hey, no choking now.”
The mood lightens as some faces finally break a smile but the meaning of the Eminem song wasn’t lost on any of us. This is our chance.
The only thing I want to do right now is call Eva and have her be a part of this with me. I look at my phone. No text messages.
I have a good job. I can make a very modest living doing what I’m doing after a few more pay raises. But Eva is a millionaire after her inheritance, I can’t compete financially with that. If we can make a go at this, if we can become something, I can provide for her.
Since we’re first, we go ahead and set up our stuff.
“Robert,” I say, “we’re up first so people are still going to be coming in to take their seats when we start. They’re going to be loud so we can’t just jump straight in. We need a longer intro. I want you to bring it in slow and pick it up when the crowd quiets down. So, kind of like this,” I play the intro on the piano for him. The sound is amazing in the huge space. “Then I want you to stop. I want it completely quiet for a moment before I start the lyrics. Then everyone come in hard and loud. Ryan, those drums need to be clear and on point. This is the most important spot. It’s going to set the stage for the rest of it.” They all agree and pick at their instruments quietly. “Ryan and Liam, I want you guys to focus on the front row of girls only. Picture them topless if you need to but do not get caught up in the size of this place. You’re playing to the front row only. Got it?” They high-five each other and laugh but tell me they’ve got it.
The curtain comes down.
“It’s quiet time.” Sarah says. “They’re letting people in. Good luck, guys.”
We hear the sounds of a large crowd gathering. “I gotta see,” Liam says as he sneaks to the side of the stage and peeks around the curtain. “Oh.”
“What?” Robert says.
“I suddenly don’t feel so good,” he whispers. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”
He runs backstage and hurls into the trash can.
We sit for twenty minutes, listening to the people file to their seats as our stomach’s twist.
“Two minutes,” Sarah says.
Liam races to the trash can again as the rest of us get into position.
You’re naturally good, too good. Don’t let them figure out why. Naomi’s words echo in my mind as the curtains begin to rise. Liam makes it back and picks up his guitar.
I look over at Ryan and Liam. “First row only,” I say as I cup my hands under my chest.
That brings a smile to their faces and they laugh. Here we go.
The lights dim down and the spotlight is on us. The piano starts off slow and then stops. I begin to sing, then the drums beat hard and the rest of the instruments take off.
We get off tempo, our chorus changes are wrong, and wrong notes are played.
This isn’t going well. I need to pull the attention to me.
I start to move more and interact with the crowd. It’s not a rap song but the words are fast and it has an upbeat tempo. As soon as the first song is over, I turn to the band, my back to the crowd. I put two fingers to my eyes with one hand, “focus,” I mouth. I take a deep breath and exhale.
I turn back to the crowd. “Hello, Seattle!” The crowd roars. There are so many people. “We’re the Rousties. We’re so happy to be here tonight from Alaska! It’s hot in here!” I fan myself, I’m sweating. The crowd roars again. This is amazing. I love it.
With each song, we get more settled in. None of the songs are perfect but by the last one, I no longer want to cringe like I did at first.
After the set, Ryan and Liam are on cloud nine. Robert and Tristan both have big smiles and Brent congratulates us on a great performance. There are a lot more people backstage. We pose for pictures with more people than I would have expected on our way to our dressing room. Not a bad start, all things considered.
42 eva
Tonight is the guys’ first concert. I’m over at Amy’s house and her phone finally rings. Brent is on FaceTime. She answers and he turns the camera around to the crowd. My jaw drops.
“Oh my gosh Brent, tell me someone is recording this for proof later!” Amy screeches.
“Oh ya, we’re getting copies but nothing is really going to capture the size of this place. It’s sold out. I’m so glad I’m not on that stage. They’re about to start.”
“How are the guys?” I ask. “Are they nervous?”
“Well, Liam barfed up until the curtains went up but he ran and got behind the guitar just in time. I didn’t tell the guys I used their story about the avalanche to help them get the gig and The Centuries lead singer brought that up and threw it in their faces two hours ago and straight up told them he doesn’t want them here. So, I don’t know.” The piano starts slowly and then stops. I hear Evan’s voice and Brent pans from the crowd to the stage. My heart races. I absolutely love listening to him sing, especially when there isn’t a cheerleader rubbing her ass all over him while he’s doing it. The drums beat and my heart skips for them. So far, so good, they sound amazing. Then there’s a bad chord and I can hear it. I cringe and Brent mutters, “Come on, guys, pull it together.” Evan moves closer to the crowd and starts getting more into it. “Nice call, Anny, pull their attention to those biceps.”
Amy giggles, “Perv.”
“Hey, whatever it takes,” he says. “Oh come on, Robert. That was your change.”
The music continues with Brent’s commentary. On their fourth song about midway through, Brent says, “Bring it home, boys. Nice.” The song ends and the crowd cheers.
“I just can’t believe you guys are there,” Amy says.
“I can’t either! This is insane. I wish you were here.”
“I wish I was too,” she says.
“Alright, I gotta go. I’ll call you when we’re back in the hotel, OK?”
“Sounds good. Love you,” Amy says.
“Love you baby.”
She hangs up the phone and looks at me. “Your man is crazy amazing!”
I want to cry. I try to hold back tears. “He’s not my man and after tonight, I doubt he ever will be,” I say.
“Why would you say that?”
“Did you not just see what I saw? They’re amazing! He’s going to find some bimbo down there and he’ll make her his trophy wife and I’ll never see him again.”
Amy is silent.
“Do you want to see the picture again
?” she finally asks.
I clear my throat to keep the tears at bay. I’m not upset with them; I’m so proud of all of them. I just feel like I’ve lost them. Evan and I haven’t been able to get along at all and there are going to be girls throwing themselves at him every chance they get. Why would he want to come home to a girl who glares at him all the time?
“No, you should delete it,” I finally say and flip on the TV to distract myself.
Amy does something on her phone but I can’t tell if she’s deleting it or texting Brent. I don’t ask.
43 evan
A guy walks into the dressing room without knocking a few minutes after we make it back. “I was told to tell you boys, ‘Yawn’ from Centuries,” he says. Then he turns and leaves. Our spirits plummet. The excitement is gone. The room is somber.
“He didn’t say ‘pack your bags’,” Liam says.
“Guess that means we get to perform tomorrow too,” Robert says.
“Didn’t they guarantee us four days?” Tristan asks.
“Yeah but they could always give us the boot if we’re too bad,” Brent says. “So, I’ll take tonight as a win. And they cared enough to send someone down here to give us a message from the group, so they watched us. I think that’s pretty awesome.”
Our spirits lift a bit. “We can’t be sightseeing, guys. Every spare minute we need to be working,” I say. “I think we need to pick it up a notch. I think I have some ideas for changes. We can go over it tomorrow.”
They all agree. My phone beeps with a message from Amy. I open it. It’s a picture of Eva and me at school after she sat with Andre at lunch and I pulled her away to talk. The day of our one and only date. I want to text Eva, but I don’t think I should.
There’s a knock at the door and Sarah walks in. “Ok, guys, we’re headed to Portland in the morning. I need you packed and in the lobby by 9 a.m. Just text this number when you boys are ready to leave for the hotel tonight. Have fun.”
Ryan and Liam look at each other. “We can go watch Centuries, for free!” Liam yells.
Ryan runs for the door with Liam on his heels. Brent follows slowly after them mumbling something about needing inspiration. I grab my guitar to try out a few changes. Tristan lays down on the couch and puts a towel over his face. Robert heads for the food on the tables. My stomach growls. I haven’t eaten since the plane either. I make a plate of snacks and set it on the seat next to me to snack as I pick up my guitar.
By 10 p.m., I’m beat and ready to go to bed. Tristan and Robert are both asleep on the couches. I text Brent.
Me: I’m beat. Rdy 2 go
Brent: K B there soon
I’m up and have my suitcase packed by 8 a.m. I make my way downstairs with my luggage and guitar case and head to the breakfast line. There are some girls there who see the case and get behind me in line. They start chatting me up but I haven’t had coffee yet and I’m a bit jetlagged. I’m polite but I’m really not in the mood.
“So, you’re from the first band last night, right? What was it? The Rousties?”
“Yeah,” I answer. “I’m Evan.”
“Nice to meet you.” They give me their names but I’m not really listening. “Can we take a picture with you?” they ask.
I’m almost to the coffee. It’s so close. “Of course,” I say when I really want to tell them to get lost.
I turn around and smile and the girl puts my arm around her shoulders and gets in way too close. She stands on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek as the camera flashes. Um ok. My turn for coffee. I make myself two large cups and find a single seat in the lobby where I will hopefully be able to sit in peace.
I pick up my phone and see that I have no messages. I look at the picture from Amy again. The rest of the guys make their way in and join me. I set the picture as my background wallpaper on my phone because I love it so much.
***
Once we arrive at the next hotel, we get to work on making modifications to our set list. We use the hotel conference room.
“So, he’s wanting us to get the crowd riled up, right? We can do that by getting them to sing with us. Let’s take out this verse here,” I point to the sheet music, “and add in an extra chorus. Also, every time we play this here, let’s repeat it twice so they can catch on and sing. I’ll motion to the crowd to sing along with us.”
We practice that until it sounds right then move on to the next song.
“He said one word to us, ‘yawn.’ So, let’s take out the second song since it’s a little slow and play this one instead.” I pass out the music for another song we’re familiar with and have played before.
We play that one through until it has the sound I think they’ll like. We make alterations as we go.
The other two songs are similar. We work through them until we’re comfortable. There’s a knock on the door.
“You guys ready to go?” It’s the driver.
Our second night performing is very similar to our first but I think we all feel a little more prepared. It’s not perfect, but it was better. I reminded Ryan and Liam to focus only on the first row and not to get lost in the massive crowd. The crowd sang along with our first song which was awesome. The changes were great but I know there’s still room for improvement.
In the dressing room, the same guy from the night before comes in after our set with another message. “They said to tell you, ‘you sound like a bunch of choir boys,’” he says and then turns and leaves.
A smile crosses my face as I get the perfect idea for changing up our third song. If we can find equipment when we get to the next town and we have enough time, I want to record a choir sound to mix in with it. I pitch the idea to Brent who leaves to try and track down someone who can help us out.
I look at my phone. There’s nothing from Eva. No text messages. I open my Facebook and I have over a thousand notifications and 32 messages. What the heck? I look on my news feed and see a picture of the girl at the hotel this morning. The caption reads:
I spent the morning with this hunk. There wasn’t breakfast in bed but….
My stomach drops. I pace the floor waiting for Brent to come back. There’s a knock at the door and a girl opens it and tries to come in.
“Whoa whoa, can I help you?” Robert asks.
“I think so,” she says as she tries to grab ahold of him.
“Oh nope, nope, I think you need to go. If anyone is interested, I promise you they’ll come looking for you. Alright, personal space in here,” Robert says turning her around and shooing her from the room. Robert closes the door behind her.
“Do we need a lock?” Tristan asks.
“Why’d you do that, man?” Ryan jokes. “I was sitting right here. She was headed my way.”
“That’s trouble. No,” Robert says.
I continue pacing and staring at the photo of me and the girl. Eva has to have seen it. Why hasn’t anyone said anything?
The door bursts open and Brent walks in saying, “We gotta get up at 7 a.m. to have enough time, but I did it. We can record that tomorrow in the San Fransico, my home town,” he smiles.
“You have friends coming to watch?” Tristan asks.
“Yeah, I scored a few tickets. It’s going to be so cool!”
We’re amazed that Brent pulled off the recording time.
When that’s settled down, I pull him to the side. “Has Eva seen this?” I ask, indicating the post on my phone.
“Oh man, I’m just glad you didn’t see that right before you guys went on tonight. I was sweating bullets over that.”
“So, she has seen it?” I ask.
“Yeah, we had a long conversation about it. I told her the truth. I don’t know where that was taken but you were with me from 10 p.m. until morning. There were no girls in our room and there were no girls around you at all last night. This morning you probably just got ambushed, it looked like the lobby of the hotel.”
“Do you think she believed you?”
He makes a sad face. “She in
sinuated that we’d cover for each other either way and hung up on me.”
Crap. “Can we go back to the hotel? I need to make a call where there aren’t people busting in and all the time.”
“You guys having trouble?” he asks.
“Robert just keeps shooing away the hotties who are looking for a little Ryan lovin’,” Ryan says grumpily from the couch as he eats a pretzel stick.
Brent looks back at me. “I’ll see about getting security for the next one,” he says.
There’s a storm brewing over the city. By the time we make it back to our hotel, lightning flashes across the sky as rain pours down. I know there’s a battle going on tonight. The amount of electricity in the air has the hairs on my arms standing on end. There’s a soul facing the darkness. I feel the urge to help but I’m a mere human now. I open the limo door as thunder finally roars through the streets, shaking the buildings.
The guys race through the rain to get inside.
“I’ll see you guys upstairs,” I say to Brent once we’re in the lobby. “I need a few moments alone.”
Brent nods and leaves with the guys in the elevator. I find a quiet corner.
I’m just a human now, I don’t have the ability to join in the fight. I decide to use the most powerful gift a human has; prayer. I bend my knees and bow my head as I pray for the soul struggling tonight. I don’t know who they are or what they’re up against, but I pray they choose the light.
Then I pray for strength to talk to Eva. I pull my phone out and look at the screen, take a deep breath, and call her.
44 eva
I wake up from another terrible dream. Same as the others. One would think they’d stop bothering me after a while but I’m still waiting. I’m drenched in sweat and look at my alarm clock. There’s almost too much time before school. I could go back to bed. I roll over and close my eyes but sleep doesn’t find me. I get up and go to the treadmill.