Kindling for the Heart

by Karen Legasy

  Sam watched Jo slip through the trees as she expertly navigated their route. The soft way she spoke to Mollie, her strong strides through the snow, her attentiveness to making the path easier for Sam, and the way her blue eyes glittered through frozen eyelashes warmed the frigid day… There was something alluring about Jo. Sam liked the fact that Jo seemed to take comfort in the landscape, and enjoyed being outdoors despite the cold. It made her feel good to watch Jo carve a path through the bush, the aura of Jo’s own natural beauty glowing amongst the trees as she led the way. Sam hadn’t felt this good in a long time, if ever.

  Sam stopped to catch her breath. “Are we almost there?”

  “Yes.” Jo motioned toward the road with a mittened hand. “It’s just behind the snowbank. We can sit in the cab while the truck warms up and share the coffee I packed in my thermos this morning.”

  “Warm coffee in the middle of the frozen bush sounds perfect right about now.” Sam glanced at Jo’s hands. “Your mitts are beautiful. Where did you—”

  “Excuse me?” Jo interrupted. “What the hell? Can’t you show me a little more respect?”

  Sam flushed. “Umm…what?”

  “Oh, come on. You just told me my tits were beautiful.”

  Sam laughed. “Mitts. Your mitts are beautiful. Not your tits.”

  “Oh.” Jo pulled off her hood and stared at her mitts, giving a cute little frown.

  “What are they made of?”

  “Moose hide. Lined with rabbit fur.”

  “I love the beadwork.” Sam moved a bit closer and admired the intricate floral patterns, wishing for her own pair instead of the plain black leather ones she wore. “Where did you get them?”

  Jo held her hands out in front to display the traditional handmade and beautifully decorated tan mitts. “I bought them years ago from a Cree woman who had a booth set up at one of our summer markets. They’re so warm and I love them. They’re like a piece of art. I wear them with honor.”

  “I can see that.”

  “Sorry I misunderstood.” Jo shrugged and grinned, her cheeks slightly redder than when they’d stopped.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m not surprised you didn’t hear right, given my behavior last night.”

  Sam watched as Jo headed toward the road, wondering how she could have heard tits instead of mitts. Just what was going through that beautiful mind as she walked in silence?

  Jo pointed into the distance. “I can see the truck now.”

  “You can?” Sam rushed to keep up with Jo’s hastened pace. “All I can see is snow.”

  “That’s because it’s totally covered from the blizzard last night.” A ridge of snow marked the snowbank along the road. Jo was the first to cross over it and navigate down to the road. She was brushing snow from her vehicle by the time Sam caught up. “Once I get it cleared off we can sit inside for a rest.”

  Sam ran a mitt along the hood to brush it clear. “It’s a lot higher than my vehicle and the perfect opposite color to my black one. How nice. Is it new?”

  “I bought it last fall.” Jo climbed into the snow-filled back of the truck and opened a large toolbox at the rear of the cab. “Here you go.” She handed Sam a long-handled snow broom and took a plastic shovel for herself. “I’ll clear around the exhaust before I start it.”

  It didn’t take them long to clear snow away from the truck and retreat inside the cab. Mollie bounded into the backseat and shook herself off, scattering snow around the cab.

  “Wow, it’s roomy in here. I love it.” Sam watched Jo remove a mitt. Her neatly manicured fingers were a soft pink as she started the truck.

  “Thanks.” Jo revved the engine.

  “I wish we could go for a ride somewhere,” Sam said as the cabin began to warm up.

  “I’d like to drive home right now. It’s too bad the roads haven’t been plowed.”

  “Couldn’t you go anyway, considering this is four-wheel drive?”

  “It’s a truck, not a snowmobile,” Jo said. “Besides, I couldn’t just leave you here to make your way back to the cottage on your own.”

  “What about tomorrow, when the roads are plowed and you can get out?” Sam’s voice cracked. She suddenly felt very alone. “I can’t be snowed in at the cottage all winter.”

  “I know.” Jo sighed. “You can come stay at my place, if you want.”

  “Really? Are you sure?”

  “Yes, until you figure things out.” Jo glanced at her watch and turned the heater fan down a notch. “I’ll only let the truck run for another five minutes then we can start heading back. Let’s have coffee. I also brought us each a protein bar.”

  “Super.” Sam reached over the console and touched Jo’s arm, squeezing the thick parka sleeve. “Thank you. I’m so lucky you came along yesterday, and I promise not to become a burden.”

  “Oh, I’ll be putting you to work.” Jo smiled as she opened her thermos and poured a cup of steaming coffee for Sam. “What do you do for a living back in Toronto anyway?”

  “I’m a lawyer,” Sam said.

  “Perfect.” Jo smiled. “I can start you working first thing Monday morning to review some legal clauses for me.”

  “Okay, but I’m a criminal lawyer. I can certainly help if you’re in trouble with the law.”

  Jo chuckled. “How ironic. My mother wondered if you were running from the law and hiding out up here.”

  “Too funny. I am very much a law-abiding citizen…but have been known to associate with criminals after they’ve been charged.” Sam bit into her protein bar and smirked as she chewed. Time to change the subject. She didn’t want to think about work right now. “I’m really enjoying being out here with you.”

  “Good, because it’s going to be a long cold walk back to the cottage.” Jo kneeled on her seat, leaning over the console to access her pack behind. “I’ll get Mollie a drink and snack then we can head out.”

  Sam leaned against her door, watching Jo as her shoulders straddled between their two seats. “Don’t forget to bring her food back with us.”

  “Of course not.” Jo glanced over, and Sam was caught staring. Their gazes locked for a moment until Jo turned away. Sam took a deep breath.

  “We should get going.” Jo turned around, sat back in her seat, and packed up her thermos. Sam wondered if Jo had felt it too—the sizzling spark when their gazes met.

  The walk back through the bush was much easier and faster across the broken trail. Sam followed behind Jo, admiring her ability to lead, the way she took care to hold branches if it looked like they would snap back and smack Sam. It wasn’t as if she didn’t deserve a slap across the face after all her suggestions the night before.

  “We made good time,” Jo said as they stood at the cottage door, removing their snowshoes.

  “Just in time for lunch too. I hope you don’t mind leftover chili.”

  “I’ve been looking forward to it for the last half hour.” Jo leaned her snowshoes against the cabin wall, then looked at Sam’s SUV. “We can shovel your vehicle out after lunch.”

  “Like it’s going to go anywhere.”

  “Maybe not tomorrow, but we’ll figure something out. Come on Mollie. Let’s go inside.”

  They quietly ate their lunch then relaxed around the crackling fire in the woodstove.

  “Are you sure it’s okay for me to stay at your place while I figure things out?” Sam sat in the rocking chair, sipping a cup of herbal tea while Jo reclined on the floor next to Mollie.

  “I wouldn’t have offered if it wasn’t okay,” Jo said, fondling Mollie’s fur.

  “You told me you don’t live alone. So, um, who else do you live with?”

  “Mollie.” Jo snuggled up against her golden retriever.

  Sam laughed. “What a lucky dog.”

  “Mollie’s been a big help over the last three years.”

  “What happened?” Sam slid off the chair and crawled beside them, kneeling near Mollie’s tail.

  Jo paused. “My ex,
Jan, dumped me for someone else. I thought she loved me as much as I loved her. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust anyone like that again.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Sam reached out to touch Jo’s arm, but Jo pulled away.

  “Don’t be. I have a good life now. I enjoy living by myself.”

  “That’s good, I guess. I don’t like being on my own.”

  “I find that hard to believe. Didn’t you just dump someone and plan to spend the winter here by yourself?”

  “If you put it like that, I guess you’re right.” Sam felt like she’d just been put into the same category as Jo’s ex and it saddened her. “It’s just that I’ve never been able to find anyone I want to spend the rest of my life with. No matter how hard I try.”

  “Yeah, well, I think you should stop looking, because it’s not possible. I invested twenty years into a relationship I believed would last as long as the two of us were alive. What a joke that was.” Jo got to her feet, but didn’t move. She just stood there, looking angry and indecisive.

  “Twenty years. Wow. That must have hurt.” Sam stood and put a hand on Jo’s stiffened arm.

  Jo jerked her arm free. “I don’t need your sympathy. Considering you’re running away from breaking someone else’s heart, maybe you should focus on your own love life.”

  “My love life was a lot more pathetic when I was trapped in an unfulfilling relationship. I really tried, but I couldn’t commit to someone I didn’t love. I’d hand over my heart in an instant if I met the right person.”

  “There’s no such thing.” Jo’s tone was harsh, and she shook her head vigorously in disagreement.

  “So you’re going to let someone else determine your destiny?” Sam said. “Broken hearts do mend, you know.”

  “Don’t you think I know?” Jo’s voice raised. “It’s taken me three long, painful years to put mine back together. I won’t ever let anyone break it again.” Her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

  “Look, it’s still damaged goods if you won’t open it up to someone else.” Sam tried to keep her voice calm. “That’s the one thing I’ve learned over the years. Broken hearts have a way of fixing themselves. My lovers have always moved on to someone else. You should give it a try and…”

  “Fuck you.” Jo ripped her parka off the hook and stomped into her boots. “Come on Mollie. Let’s go shovel some snow.” She slammed the door shut, barely missing Mollie’s tail as the two of them scurried outside.

  Chapter Seven

  Jo was enraged. She yanked her parka open, and her heavy breath painted the air with frost as she hurled snow over her shoulder. “Who the hell does she think she is, eh, Mollie? Imagine telling me to move on.”

  Mollie bounced in the snow, giving little playful yelps as she darted in and out of Jo’s way. Her snout was covered in snow and her jowls flapped each time Jo pretended to jump at her.

  Jo had called one of the grader operators to see if she could get her truck plowed out today, but was told there was no way it would happen until tomorrow morning at the earliest. Stranded for another night, she vowed to stay outside for as long as possible. The wind howled, but the sun shone as Jo kept digging through the snow.

  The hurt from Jan’s betrayal still stung, and Jo believed she’d never get over it. They’d been happy for more than nineteen years, were even planning a romantic trip to the Caribbean to celebrate their twentieth anniversary. Their flights and rooms had already been booked. Jo was looking forward to escaping the winter for a few weeks of warm weather to relax with her longtime partner.

  The weeks leading up to the trip had been busy, and she’d barely noticed that Jan was going out more frequently on her own. Then one night, Jan just didn’t come home at all. She’d left a note saying she’d met someone.

  Jo was devastated. She loved Jan. She’d believed they’d spend the rest of their lives together. Jan was family, someone she trusted with her life, and celebrating twenty years together was proof. When Jan took the tickets and her new lover to the resort instead, Jo thought she was going to die. She’d never let that happen again. Never. Jo had extinguished all the fire in her heart for the sake of sanity. She’d eventually adapted to a contented life with Mollie, the perfect companion.

  Jo paused to catch her breath, feeling a slight chill as the wind grabbed the opening in her jacket and snuck a hug of frigid air. She shook, holding her arms over chest while trying to tighten the zipper. Once bundled up tight, she resumed her manic shoveling through the snow, clearing the way past Sam’s truck and halfway down the long driveway to the road. She was determined to stay out for as long as possible.

  Sam watched the mini blizzard unfold outside her small kitchen window. Powdery snow whirled through the air as Jo tackled the drifts. She was like a machine, a snow blower ripping through the white mounds. Sam was afraid to go anywhere near her.

  She could see Jo had already cleared the path to the woodshed, and Sam needed more kindling for the next morning’s fire. Her boots had been warming by the woodstove and were toasty when she slid her feet into them. She grabbed her jacket and opened the door. Mollie came barreling toward her, barking.

  “Hey, pooch.” Sam held out her hands and was nearly knocked over when the dog jumped against her legs. “Whoa. You really want to play.” Sam laughed, chasing Mollie, setting the dog in a frenzied run around the cleared area by the woodshed.

  “Okay, I need to get some kindling because it’s frigging cold out here. I’m not freezing my butt off for you, Mollie, even though you’re so damn cute.” Sam hurried through the woodshed door and grabbed a small ax. A few dry cedar logs leaned up against the woodpile, ready to be made into kindling to help start the fire. Mollie came inside and brushed against Sam’s legs while she worked at chopping off strips of wood with the ax. She wanted Jo to be comfortable, warm in the morning, and cozy by a crackling fire.

  Sam thought of Jo as she shaved off strips of wood. Cedar kindling always seemed so pure, the way it easily chipped off the block and felt so smooth in her hands. Cedar was always the best for starting a fire, even when the wood was a bit damp, and would be sure to set anything ablaze.

  “Careful, girl.” Sam shifted, treating Mollie as though she were a small child watching with interest, and continued to work. “We need some more kindling for the stove. Kindling to start a warm fire tomorrow morning. Cedar’s the best to get flames going. I want Jo to thaw by the fire, maybe even create a spark in her heart. At least be open to the possibility.” Sam sniffed a piece of fresh kindling. “It smells so good and…”

  “Mollie!” The dog jerked around and rushed out the door in response to Jo’s call. “Stay out here with me.”

  Sam watched from inside the woodshed as Jo continued shoveling. The frenzy was slowing, but her determination to stay away seemed unwavering.

  Jo was getting tired and a bit cold, but couldn’t bring herself to go inside just yet. Heart palpitating and lungs heaving, she watched Sam carry an armful of kindling into the cottage.

  The woman was driving her crazy. The way she played with Mollie, and carried the kindling into the cottage, cradling it in her arms as though it was somehow sacred. Jo pictured Sam chipping away at the cedar block with Mollie at her side, forming the sweet-smelling kindling to start a crackling fire. The way she smiled, showing off those dimples, and felt so warm and comforting in bed the night before… Jo huffed. How could this woman be turning her on? Dammit. She didn’t want to be attracted to Sam, and the last thing she needed was to dwell on the fact that they could have had sex last night.

  It was getting dark by the time Jo leaned her shovel against the cottage and stepped inside, her shoulders stiff and back sore. Sam was kneeling in front of the woodstove, adding logs and stoking the fire. Her face glowed from the flames.

  Jo watched as she casually brushed a hand through her hair, as though she was still by herself. Sam seemed to be a casual type of person, especially since she’d suggested a roll in the sack the day before. Jo was su
re those dimples and long eyelashes could entice any number of women into her bed.

  She turned away and focused on the aroma of cedar, roasting chicken, and wood smoke as she slipped out of her boots. Mollie scratched at the door, so she let her in. The dog burst into the cottage and rushed up to Sam, as though they’d known each other for years.

  “Hey, girl.” Sam wrapped an arm around Mollie. “Ooh, your fur is cold. Got to get you warmed up.”

  “It’s really cold out there now,” Jo said as she edged closer to the woodstove, wanting a hug too. “My feet are frozen.”

  “It’s no wonder, the way you stayed outside shoveling like that.” Sam stood up, brushing wood chips and bits of ash off the knees of her gray sweatpants. “Why don’t you go for a hot shower to warm up while I finish dinner?”

  “Thanks. I think I will.” Jo rubbed a hand along Mollie’s back then gathered her borrowed clothes from the foot of the bed and headed into the small bathroom, her hands shaking as she closed herself in. She began to strip out of her damp clothes, goose bumps galore as she thought of Sam at the woodshed. It was as though Mollie sensed something good about Sam, always eager to play with her.

  Jo’s legs were wobbly as she stepped into the shower stall, the warm water so soothing against her aching body. She washed, and then allowed herself a minute to luxuriate under the warm water before turning it off. Tensions seemed to ease away, and she felt refreshed at the end of it all.

  She quickly dried off and stepped into Sam’s navy sweatpants, shivering as the cool air touched her skin. Her nakedness in Sam’s sweats somehow felt inappropriate and her goose bumps grew, but there was no way she’d ask to borrow a pair of underwear.

  Sam was standing at the kitchen sink when Jo opened the bathroom door. The tap was running as she washed a few dishes, her backside swaying as though dancing to an imaginary beat. Jo smiled, hesitating in the doorway, wondering what it would be like to approach Sam and whisper into her ear. Dare she even go there and suggest that roll in the sack after all? Why not? It had been a long time since she’d had sex, and she could keep it casual with Sam. It would have to be that way. No kissing. That would be her boundary.