Kindling for the Heart

by Karen Legasy

  “Of course not.” Jo frowned, avoiding Sam’s eyes and blaming herself for the flirtation. She really needed to keep to her boundaries.

  “Will you let me take a picture of you and Mollie?”

  “To remember us by?”

  “I’ll never forget you. Picture or not.” Sam smiled then confidently made her way to the old growth stand for the photograph. Once there, she turned around and waved. Jo snapped a picture. It would be a good one to remember Sam—a wave goodbye.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Jo hurried to take the required pictures, and then they sped home so she’d have the better part of the afternoon to put the presentation together. Sam spent the rest of the day curled up on the basement couch, the television on and channel surfing. She couldn’t concentrate on anything and her stomach was starting to feel a bit upset. By the time Jo popped into the rec room, Sam was feeling drowsy and slightly fevered.

  “I think I’m coming down with the flu or something,” Sam said. That had to be it. There was no other reason she’d be feeling like this.

  “Shit. I hope I didn’t push you too hard this morning.” Jo put a hand on Sam’s forehead, her touch warm and soft. “Yep. You feel pretty hot.”

  “I was hoping to hear you say I’m hot.” Sam closed her eyes and forced a smile.

  “What do you think, Mollie? Should we throw some cold water on her?”

  “Go ahead. I deserve it.” Sam put her feet on the floor and struggled to sit up. “Wow, the room’s spinning.”

  “Lie back down and I’ll get you a blanket.”

  “Maybe I should just go up to my bed.” Sam stood, her knees wobbly and feeling dizzy. “Oh God, I think I’m going to be sick.”

  “Here, use this if you’re going to puke before you get there.” Jo swung around and grabbed the small red and black fleece throw from the arm of the couch. She tossed it at Sam.

  “Thanks.” Sam buried her face in the fleece and rushed to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her in embarrassment. She hovered over the sink and studied her pale reflection in the mirror as her stomach churned. What was going on? She never got sick.

  “Are you okay in there?” Jo tapped at the door, concern in her voice.

  “I’ll be fine.” Sam dropped into the chair beside the shower stall, wondering if she’d ever be fine with her life again after meeting Jo.

  “Okay. I’ll be up in my office if you need me. Just shout.” Jo’s footsteps echoed up the stairs.

  Sam’s head dropped into her lap and she forced fingers through her hair, clutching her skull as though trying to squeeze out her distress. Falling for Jo had taken her by surprise. This was not her style. Was she really sick?

  Sam’s life was in Toronto, always had been, and she knew Jo’s would forever be here, hours away in this northern nether region of Ontario. No wonder Jo was such a mess in this land of romantic desolation that Sam had chosen to exile in after dumping Trish. How ironic to meet the one person up here who could define her destiny. Could this be her land of opportunity? She needed to pull herself together and find out.

  Jo focused on the morning’s pictures, studying each one to see if there was sincerity in Sam’s smile. She wanted to believe Sam was feeling the same strong pull that was keeping her distracted and dreading the end to whatever this was between them. And now Sam was feeling sick. Could it be a way to prolong her stay in Timmins?

  Jo needed to stop thinking like this, because her increasing attraction to Sam was at risk of wreaking havoc on her otherwise tolerable life. Sam’s life was in the city, and Toronto was so far away. A long-distance relationship would not be practical to even consider. A nine-hour drive each way in winter was too long, and flying back and forth on weekends would be prohibitively expensive. She loved the north and had promised to stay near her family. The only thing to do was help Sam get her vehicle out from the cottage then start preparing for the end of this winter diversion of lust and longing.

  Later, as Jo put the finishing touches on her slide presentation, Mollie’s squeaky toy started to sound. Sam was playing with her. Jo smiled as she pictured Mollie’s excitement at pulling on the stuffed rooster. A break was long overdue. Jo headed to the basement.

  “I’m happy to see you’re feeling better.” Jo perched on the arm of the couch near Sam’s feet, as she lay cuddled up under the fleece throw.

  Sam straightened up and patted the sofa cushion beside her. “Here, sit down, there’s lots of room.”

  “Thanks, but I’ll keep my distance. I can’t afford to get sick.” That was her excuse and she was sticking to it.

  Sam rubbed her stomach. “It must have been something I ate. Probably that chicken I brought back from the cottage.”

  “Ah, that explains it. See, if you were vegetarian, you wouldn’t have to worry about food poisoning from meat.”

  “No, just E. coli from fresh leafy greens.” Sam smirked.

  “Maybe we should have grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner, then.” Sam had been kind in looking after her the other day with those egg salad sandwiches. Time to return the favor. She could probably use a bit of mothering, and it might help to make her feel better. “I’ll whip up some tomato soup to go with them. How does that sound?”

  “Perfect.” Sam leaned forward to pat Mollie. Sam’s hair was still damp from showering, and the scent of her peach shampoo teased Jo’s nostrils. “Just like how I’m feeling right now. I’m so glad we met.”

  Jo looked away, focusing on her hands as they fidgeted in her lap. “I got confirmation from the grader operator he’ll be out on your cottage road by two on Friday afternoon. We’ll follow him in then get the rest of your stuff before heading back out.”

  “Perfect again.” Sam’s dimples brightened her smile. She could be so damn charming. “How much do I owe for that?”

  “Nothing. He had to go out there anyway so it’s no big deal.” Jo’s knees wobbled as she stood and readied to head back upstairs.

  “It is a big deal for me. Everything you’ve done for me is a big deal and I’ll never forget it.”

  “The pictures turned out great. I’ll send you some for your memories.”

  “That would be nice.” Sam came to stand near her, and gently took Jo’s hands.

  “I’ll get supper going.” Jo pulled her hands away then rushed up the basement stairs, heart thumping and breathing uneven as she escaped before changing her mind. The last thing she needed right now was to be close to Sam.

  Dinner was ready by the time Sam came into the kitchen. Jo had set the table and all she had to do was serve up. She’d forced her thoughts back onto work and knew it was better this way. Her concentration needed to be on the job.

  “This looks good.” Sam took a seat and inhaled the steam coming off her hot soup. “Thanks for looking after me.”

  “Careful you don’t burn your tongue.” Jo tried to say it like a tease after the episode with the tea, but the words came out serious, like she was mothering Sam again.

  “I will. I learned my lesson this morning.” Sam smiled as she slurped, her lips barely touching the spoon.

  “You might want to add a few soda crackers.” Jo pushed the box toward Sam.

  The rest of the meal consisted of light conversation and heavy sighs, mostly from Jo. She blamed it on her work and stress over the upcoming open house. Sam suggested she clean up the kitchen while Jo finalized her slide show. They agreed to meet in half an hour by the TV in the basement, where Jo would walk Sam through her presentation.

  Mollie followed Jo to her office and sprawled on the beige wool rug by the desk. Jo knelt beside Mollie and rubbed her exposed belly, Mollie’s tail thumping against the carpet. Jo was happy for their companionship. She could trust Mollie; she loved the way her dog delighted at her presence. She always felt in control with Mollie—dogs couldn’t play mind games. She buried her face in Mollie’s fur. Life without her dog would be untenable. Otherwise, she’d fall apart. Like she did when Jan left.

 
“Well, girl, I’d better get up off the floor and make sure my presentation is ready to go.” Jo kissed Mollie then went in search of Sam.

  Sam was excited to learn more about Jo’s work. She’d always loved being in the bush and wanted a better understanding of forestry. She plopped on the basement couch in anticipation of sitting close to Jo during the presentation.

  “Sorry I don’t have any popcorn.” Jo placed her open laptop on the coffee table in front of the couch and set it up to wirelessly project the slides on the television screen. “Thanks for being my audience during this dry run.”

  Sam rubbed her hands together. “It’ll be just like the movies. I can’t wait for the show to start.”

  “Don’t get too excited. People always seem to get bogged down by intricate planning. I’m sure Mollie will be happy for some extra attention if you get bored during my talk.”

  “That’s not going to happen. I may pet Mollie every now and then, but I’m super-interested in learning more about you and your work.” Sam straightened up and leaned toward Jo.

  Jo started off with an overview description of the ten-year forest management planning process. Sam saw passion take over almost immediately. The way Jo described the different stages with her hands, pointing to the slides and even pacing in front of the screen. By the end of it all, Sam had a much better understanding of Jo’s work and wanted to know more.

  Jo’s level of competence was impressive, and Sam loved the way her voice rang out with enthusiasm for forestry. She was especially interested in the legislative framework guiding the process. She wanted to hear more about long-term management considerations to protect forest resources and land values for local cottagers like her.

  “Developing a forest management plan is such a long process.” Jo’s cheeks had flushed, and she looked so cute as a strand of hair stuck out over her ear. “From start to finish we’re legally obligated to abide by all kinds of regulations to ensure the sustainable development of our forest resources.”

  “As a cottage owner, I’d insist that my view of the forest isn’t going to be wiped out by a nearby clear cut.”

  “For sure. We hope lots of cottage owners will come out Saturday and voice their concerns. These public open houses are an important part of the process and I always look forward to getting everyone’s views.” Jo took a seat beside Sam, drawing her legs up on the couch.

  “What’s your role in all of this?” Sam shifted, conscious of their legs almost touching. “Whose side are you on?”

  Jo edged away. “I’ve been hired as an independent. My role is to ensure the sustainable development of this forest area by supporting all parties.”

  “How do you expect to do that?”

  “By making sure all voices are heard. As my concluding slide says, the main goal of this forest management plan is to ensure the social, economic, and environmental needs of present and future generations are met. My role is to help facilitate that process.”

  “Who’s paying your salary?”

  Jo leaned forward to shut down her computer. “I have small contracts with a lot of the stakeholders. The government, the forestry company, a few cottage associations, and even one of the First Nation communities impacted by this harvest are clients of mine. That’s why I love being independent. I don’t like to take sides.”

  “Then why do you have such a strong position against letting your guard down around me?” Sam tried to move closer, but Jo stood up and backed away.

  “Dammit, you don’t get it, do you? I need to know there’s a plan because without one, this forest would be fucked. What’s your plan after Friday, when you can leave?”

  “I want to be at your open house on Saturday. I want to spend more time with you, like this. I really enjoyed learning more about your work and want to…”

  “It’s getting late, Sam.” Jo grabbed her laptop and marched to the stairs. “I have a lot more to do tomorrow to wrap things up for the open house.”

  “Jo, wait.” Sam rushed to her side, but didn’t touch her. “Please don’t be upset.”

  Jo sighed. “I’m sorry. On Friday we’ll head out in the early afternoon to get your vehicle and plan to be back by five. My mother’s invited us over for dinner then, and I accepted. I hope you’ll come along.”

  “For sure. I like your family.” She paused, watching as Jo’s eyes looked everywhere but at her. “I hope you have a good night’s sleep.”

  “Thanks. You too.” Sam watched Jo trudge up the stairs then listened as she went right into her bedroom and closed the door.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Jo followed close behind the big yellow grader as it plowed the way into Sam’s cottage. Mollie slept on the backseat while Sam helped Jo navigate her truck through the narrow road.

  “I see why having four-wheel drive can be handy up here,” Sam said as she monitored her side of the vehicle to ensure they weren’t getting too close to the ditch. “Thanks again for doing this, especially when you’re so busy preparing for the open house tomorrow.”

  “No worries.” Jo was gripping the wheel, her jaw tight and eyes focusing on the path of the grader. “It’s a nice break for me and a good opportunity to get your vehicle plowed out.”

  “Everything about you seems to be a good opportunity for me. I wish I could do something to help you.”

  “So you’re not remembered as an opportunist after you leave?” Jo meant to tease, but her words sounded sarcastic.

  “If that’s what you want to believe.” Sam leaned her head against the passenger window and sighed.

  When they got to Sam’s cottage, the grader stopped, and Jo jumped out to exchange a few words with the operator, shouting over the roar of the idling engine. The driver was a middle-aged man with a beard, and Jo spoke in French with him to express her appreciation for taking a small diversion into Sam’s cottage. It had been a while since she’d used her French and quite a few English words were mixed in. She almost felt ashamed at letting her French language skills slip. If she were to ever move anywhere else, she’d choose some remote community in northern Quebec where everyone spoke French. It would be much more appropriate than moving to Toronto.

  Sam had stayed back at the truck with Mollie, but she suddenly appeared at Jo’s side just as they’d finished their conversation. The grader engine revved as the blade dug into the snow.

  “Thank you.” Sam smiled and waved at the operator as he pulled away.

  “Go ahead inside and gather up the rest of your things,” Jo said. “I’ll park and let Mollie out for a run.”

  Sam tapped Jo’s arm. “I didn’t know you were bilingual. You don’t even have an accent when you speak English.”

  “I do when I speak French,” Jo said. “At least, that’s what I’m told by a lot of Francophones.”

  “What about your mother and Anna? Why don’t you speak French with them?”

  “I do sometimes, but we’ve gotten so used to speaking English with each other that we hardly ever speak in French. Come on, let’s get a move on. I want to get off this road before dark.”

  “You can head back now if you like,” Sam said. “I don’t want to hold you up any more than I already have.”

  “We’re driving out together. The road is treacherous. I’ll need to pull you out if you slide into the ditch.”

  Sam stepped closer and looked at Jo with sparkling eyes. “You’re so good to me, Jo. I really appreciate everything you’re doing. Thank you.”

  Jo backed away from her. “You’re welcome. I’ll see you at the cottage in a few minutes.” She swung around and trotted toward her truck.

  Jo was afraid to step back into the place where they’d exchanged orgasms only a few days before. She’d thought about it during the drive out, remembering how good it felt and wondering if it would be so bad to do it again. No, she couldn’t let it happen. Her feelings for Sam would become much more than just attraction. That would be a disaster because there was no future for them. She had to focus on seriou
s business, like getting Sam’s vehicle out of there. She got the shovel out of her truck and began to dig through the snow, knowing she needed to be in good form for the open house tomorrow. No fooling around allowed. Her boundaries were set.

  Sam’s breath burst out in cloudy puffs as she hurried around the frozen cottage to gather the rest of her clothing and food to transport out. A small electric heater hummed on high, but the air remained frigid, and there was no time for a fire in the woodstove.

  “Your vehicle’s cleared off and ready to go.” Jo stepped inside, Mollie right behind. “My truck’s beside yours in case you need a boost.”

  “I hope not. I have a block heater and plugged it in as soon as we got here.”

  “Good move. You’re learning how to think like a northerner.”

  “And just how does a northerner think?” Sam smiled as she rubbed Mollie’s cold fur.

  Jo removed her mitts and wedged them under her left arm. “We always have to stay one step ahead of the weather. Why don’t you give me your keys and I’ll get it going for you?”

  Sam smacked her head. “Oh fuck, I forgot my keys.”

  Jo’s face reddened. “You, what? How could you forget your keys? You’ll never get your truck out now.”

  Sam had wanted to tease Jo, lighten up the mood a bit, but Jo’s reaction made her cringe. As if the woman didn’t have enough stress in her life. Sam reached into her pocket and dug them out. “I guess it was a bad joke. I’m sorry.”

  “Jesus Christ. I should slap that hand of yours.” Jo grabbed the keys. “I’ll get it started while you finish up in here. Come on, Mollie.”

  “I’ll hurry.” Sam meant it too, as she rushed around gathering her belongings. It was the least she could do for Jo right now.

  Jo’s cheeks were flushed when she came back inside. Sam had her things by the door, all packed up and ready to go. There was a large black duffel bag on wheels, a few boxes of food: cereal, condiments, crackers, a brick of mozzarella cheese, four loaves of brown bread, frozen vegetables, packages of beef and chicken, two bottles of chardonnay and two of merlot, and a case of diet ginger ale. She was set for the month.