How to Climb a Lady’s Tower
Page 21
Rebecca chuckled. “Unfortunately, that is true.”
A deep sigh left his lips. “Well, then I thank you for saving me from continuing a wild goose chase. As disappointing as this is, this way at least I will not waste my life trying to retrieve something I will never find.”
Her hand squeezed his. “There is another way.”
Zach frowned as he stared into her sparkling eyes, full of vibrancy and adventure. “You have a plan, don’t you?” he asked cautiously, wondering if he would like it. Then again, what plan could be worse than breaking into his peers’ houses and searching their possessions?
“Of course, I do.” She grinned, and her eagerness made him smile. “We’ll flush him out.”
“How?”
Her brows rose in mockery. “The same way I flushed you out.”
For a moment, confusion clouded his thoughts before his eyes snapped open, remembering only too well how she had gone about drawing his attention. “Absolutely not!” he objected, knowing he would regret this outburst.
“Why?” A hint of anger tinged her voice as she shot to her feet, her hands coming to rest on her sides. Like a warrior preparing for battle, she raised her chin and squared her shoulders, determined not to back down.
Rising from the bench, Zach approached her cautiously. “Quiet or your uncle will lock you in your chamber after all.”
Her gaze darted back toward the house, still hidden behind the tall hedge. “Very well,” she said, her voice dropping in volume as she stepped closer, the fire in her eyes still blazing as brightly as before. “Tell me—”
“It’s too dangerous,” he told her before she could finish. However, the determination in her eyes didn’t wane, and so he took her by the elbow and guided her farther into the green thicket behind them. “If you intend to argue with me, then at least do so quietly.”
“Fine!” she hissed, her eyes hard on his. “But without my help, your father’s ring will be lost for good. And what about your brother? Have you thought of him?”
Zach gritted his teeth. “You would use guilt to manipulate m—?”
“Of course.”
“Why?” By now, they stood nose to nose, his head tilted downward to hold her stormy gaze while his hands still lingered on her arms, holding her close, ensuring she would not yell and wake the house…or so he told himself.
“Because you’d never forgive yourself if you went home empty-handed.”
“That doesn’t mean I’m willing to risk—”
“I’ll be fine.”
“No!” he ground out, his hands now gripping her arms tightly. “No!”
Her nostrils flared. “You cannot stop me. I will do what I deem right. It is my decision, and the day you’ll be able to return your father’s ring to your brother, you’ll thank me for it.”
Zach drew in a slow breath as her gaze burned into his. Still, he could not deny that the fierceness with which she fought to help him return his father’s ring warmed his heart. “I will not see you hurt in order to retrieve a trinket.”
Her features softened. “You know very well that it is not a trinket, but I thank you for your concern.” A soft smile teased her lips as her hands rose and came to rest on his chest. “Please let me do this. I want to do this. I…I need to do this.” The look in her eyes was almost pleading, and Zach knew that if he denied her this, he would be no better than her uncle, keeping her away from the aspects of life that called to her. As she’d said, it was her decision.
Or at least, it should be.
Somehow, Rebecca had to have seen his resolve crumbling for a dazzling smile spread over her face and, for a moment, he feared – or hoped – she would fling herself into his arms. “I promise I shall be careful,” she whispered almost reverently. Still, the exuberance in her eyes had not dimmed, but only changed, taken on another quality, and before his mind was able to catch up, she said, “Meet me tomorrow afternoon on Rotten Row.”
“What?”
“Number two on my list,” she elaborated, rolling her eyes in that way he’d come to adore.
Zach frowned. “This is the one that’ll give your uncle a heart attack, isn’t it?”
“If I’m fortunate.”
Chuckling, Zach shook his head. “What do you have in mind?”
She sighed. “Well, I’ve always wanted to ride astride, so…”
“And you have to do that in public?”
“That’s half the fun.”
He frowned. “You want your uncle to know. You want him to be angry with you.”
Her teeth gritted together as she fought whatever it was that currently fired her blood. “I want him to know that I have a heart and mind of my own. I know that he’ll never understand, just like your father’s family never understood, but I need to do this. I need to stomp my foot and make him hear me, even if he doesn’t understand the words I’m saying.”
Bowing his head, Zach nodded, unable to deny her when she spoke so passionately about being herself. “What if he locks you up, after all?”
“He won’t,” Rebecca replied with utter conviction in her voice. “Or at least not for long. Not while Lord Tedious is courting me.” Zach’s insides clenched. “My uncle wants this match, and he will not risk doing anything that would spoil it.”
“Are you certain about this?” Deep down, Zach realized that he would rejoice if something were to spoil that match.
“I am.” Her teeth sank into her lower lip as excitement and joy painted a smile onto her face. “Tomorrow afternoon on Rotten Row.”
Zach nodded. “Who am I to refuse?”
“Good night, Zach,” she whispered before stepping back, and Zach knew that no matter what tomorrow would bring, life would never be the same again.
Hopefully.
Chapter Twenty-Five
A Ride Down Rotten Row
“Why are you wearing your riding habit?” Caroline asked as they strolled down the street toward Hyde Park. “And this cloak? To hide it?” Her brows drew down in suspicion.
Rebecca smiled, pulling her cloak a little tighter around her shoulders.
“I know that smile,” Caroline observed, her blue eyes slightly blurred behind those thick spectacles of hers. “And it worries me.”
“Then look away,” Rebecca told her cheerfully. Excitement bubbled in her veins, and a part of her simply wanted to pick up her skirts and race ahead. She felt like a young girl again, free to do as she pleased as her parents stood nearby, ready to catch her should she fall. Oh, if only she could have held on to those carefree days!
Caroline scoffed. “You’re planning something, aren’t you?”
Rebecca pressed her lips together to keep from laughing.
“Does it have something to do with the gentleman who climbed out of your window last night?”
Rebecca froze. Her eyes went wide as her feet pulled to a shocked halt. Slowly, she turned to face her cousin, noting the hint of triumph sparkling somewhere behind those thick glasses. “How…how do you know?”
Caroline scoffed…again. “I’m not my mother. My eyes work fine, and I tend to observe the world around me with great care.” Her brows rose before a teasing smile claimed her lips. “I saw him leave.”
Rebecca’s eyes almost fell out of her head as she stared at her cousin, her heart thudding wildly in her chest. A hint of panic tiptoed down her spine as her mind screamed at her to do something.
Caroline chuckled. “Words don’t fail you often, do they?” Then she laughed in a way Rebecca had seldom seen. “Don’t look so terrified. I shall keep your secret. I would ask you to be cautious. Men can generally not be trusted. You might have your own agenda but, believe me, so does he. Never forget that.”
Another minute ticked by as Rebecca continued to stare at her cousin, unable to make sense of this new development. People rarely surprised her and she had not seen this coming. Besides, something didn’t quite add up. Something…seemed out of place as though…
Rebecca’s eyes wid
ened yet again. “How did you see him?” she whispered, her eyes trained on her cousin’s face, looking for telltale signs that Caroline had not been honest with her. “From the windows of your chamber, you couldn’t have seen him. You couldn’t. Where were you when…?”
A muscle in Caroline’s jaw twitched as she fought to maintain her composure. Still, Rebecca saw the faint blush that came to her cheeks as well as the way her shoulders tensed and she forced herself not to drop her gaze. Indeed, anyone else might have been fooled, but Rebecca had known her cousin for too long to not see the signs.
“You weren’t in your chamber when you saw him, were you?”
Caroline heaved an annoyed sigh. “Fine.” She blinked a few times before her gaze met Rebecca’s once more. “No, I was not in my chamber.”
“Where were you then?”
“That, I cannot tell you.”
“Why?”
“It is of no importan—”
Rebecca shook her head. “How can it not be of importance? You left your chamber in the middle of the night and went…where? Did you leave the house? Where did you go?” A myriad of questions tumbled through Rebecca’s mind.
Caroline sighed. “As I said before, you have your secrets and I have mine. I’m not asking you to tell me what you’re up to today. All I’m asking is that you’re careful.”
As far as Rebecca was concerned, that was a clear admission of guilt. Caroline had left the house. In the middle of the night. Alone. Without anyone’s knowledge. Her well-behaved, obedient cousin had ventured out into the streets of London without anyone finding out. Had it been the first time? Rebecca doubted it very much.
“You’re meeting him at Hyde Park, are you not?” Caroline asked, swiftly moving the focus off herself and back to Rebecca. “Are you not worried that my father will hear of this? You know you will not be able to hide in such a place.” Her gaze narrowed. “But you don’t care, do you?”
Rebecca cleared her throat. “As you said, you have your secrets and I have mine.”
Sighing, Caroline smiled. “Very well. Do what you must, and good luck.”
Squeezing her cousin’s hand, Rebecca nodded. “Tell Aunt Mildred I slipped away while you were looking at ribbons…or something, and that you don’t know where I went.”
Caroline frowned. “I hope you know what you’re doing.” Then she turned around and walked back the way they’d come.
Looking after her cousin, Rebecca inhaled a deep breath, hoping that she did know what she was doing. She had a plan after all. However, not all plans worked out the way they were meant to. She could only hope she knew her uncle well enough to predict his reaction. The realization that her cousin proved to be a woman unlike the one Rebecca had thought her to be caused her no small amount of anxiety. What else had she not seen?
Nevertheless, it was too late to turn back, and so Rebecca proceeded onward the last few steps leading her through the large gate and into Hyde Park. Her eyes fell on lords and ladies promenading, on phaetons and carriages, on families with children running about. It was a beautiful day, and the sun warmed the cooler spring air from its perch high up in an almost cloudless sky.
Quickening her step, Rebecca felt her heart beating wildly, betraying her nervousness. Although her soul longed to do as she’d intended, there was no way of denying that the thought of such rebellious behavior caused her some unrest. On her way, she caught the occasional frown as others realized that she was walking on her own without a female companion. Lifting her chin, Rebecca pushed on until she reached Rotten Row, the sound of thundering hooves and carriage wheels on gravel greeting her from afar.
“I wondered if you’d changed your mind.”
Spinning around, Rebecca found Lord Pembroke – Zach! – standing behind her, a deep smile on his face that reached his sparkling blue eyes and made them shine in a way not even the sun could rival. “Did you truly think I would?”
Grinning, he shook his head. “Not for a minute,” he admitted, stepping forward. “However, I wonder if this is truly wise.” The expression on his face grew serious.
Rebecca sighed. “I know I’ve been selfish.”
“What do you mean?” he asked with a frown.
Her gaze swept their surroundings before it returned to him. “I’ve only thought of myself. I want this, and while it may be one thing to ask you for your…assistance away from prying eyes, it is quite another to ask you to risk your own reputation in order to indulge my whims.” Shaking her head at her own thoughtlessness, Rebecca took a step back. “I’m sorry,” she told him honestly. “I know you’ve been trying to establish yourself here, to find a way to have your peers treat you with respect. All that hard work will have been for nothing if you do this, if you’re seen with me like this, if you do something scandalous.”
Making to turn away, Rebecca paused when he moved to stop her. “I don’t care,” Zach said as he stepped closer, his blue eyes keeping her rooted to the spot. “I know how important this is to you. I know this is not about whims and fancies. And I have thought of the consequences for you and me as well.” Shaking his head, he shrugged. “As you’ve said, I tried to find my way into English society, and it’s been a disaster long before you came along.” A teasing grin played over his face. “I’m done, and I no longer care what they think of me. I never truly have. I only ever did what I did in order to retrieve my father’s ring.” Winking at her, he moved closer and his voice dropped to a whisper. “But I have you for that now.”
Rebecca laughed, touched by his trust. “Are you certain? There is no undoing this.”
Zach nodded. “As certain as I’ll ever be, and besides, when I was wondering if this endeavor was wise, I wasn’t thinking of myself.” His blue eyes grew serious as they looked deep into hers. “I do not want you to endanger yourself, not in any way.”
Returning his earlier smile, Rebecca sighed, determined to ignore the rapid beating of her heart. “Some risks are worth taking.”
“But what if—?”
“I’ll be fine,” she assured him with a calmness she didn’t feel. Still, that didn’t mean she was wrong, did it?
He heaved a deep sigh, and yet, the corners of his mouth curved upward. “Well then, shall we?”
Rebecca nodded and then followed him off to the side of the path where his groom waited with two horses, neither one of which had a sidesaddle.
Her heart leapt into the heavens as excitement and nervousness mixed and swirled through her veins. “Will you assist me?” she asked when he led her to the peacefully grazing chestnut mount.
The same as the night, before Zach guided her hands and feet, showing her where to place them and how to pull herself into the saddle. He maintained an appropriate distance, and yet, Rebecca could not help but think that the way his hands would brush hers every so often was intentional. Her heart responded with a fierceness that stole her breath, and whenever she would turn to look at him, she caught him looking at her in the same fashion.
Indeed, it seemed that he, too, was affected by the sudden closeness that had developed between them the night before. Had he been unable to sleep? Had he tossed and turned, remembering every moment of their encounter? Every touch and shared look? If only she knew!
Mounting his own steed, Zach urged it closer, his blue eyes searching hers. “Are you all right?”
“It feels different,” Rebecca remarked, trying to find her balance, not merely on the horse’s back but also in her companion’s presence.
“We’ll start slowly. Follow me.”
“I’ll do no such thing,” Rebecca exclaimed with a laugh and then pushed her mount onward, pulling up beside him.
Zach laughed. “Do you feel the constant need to challenge everyone and everything around you? Is that not exhausting?”
“I don’t challenge people nearly as often as you might think.” With her gaze focused alternately on her steed as well as the man beside her, it took Rebecca a while to realize the moment she’d been waiting for
had finally come.
Everyone they passed stared at her, looks of surprise as well as utter shock down to outright disapproval showing on their faces. Ladies shook their heads and whispered to one another. Gentlemen stuck their heads together and did the same.
“Is this what you had in mind?” Zach asked, laughing as he glanced around them.
Rebecca nodded, ignoring the hammering thuds of her heart. “It is.”
“Do you truly not care what they think?”
“I do,” she replied, trying to explain why on earth she had felt compelled to come here today and…do this. “I simply want them to know that I’ll stand up for myself, that I’m not weak.”
The smile slid from Zach’s face as he pulled up his horse, his gaze finding hers. “No one in their right mind would think you weak.”
Rebecca laughed, a mirthless, dark laugh that spoke of all the years she’d spent under her uncle’s rule, years of forced obedience, years of denying her inner self, years of doubting her own worth and capabilities. “Men think women are weak,” she told him, her voice hard and laced with frustration. “You might not believe me because you see the world in a different light, but the life I’ve led has taught me that time and time again. It was a harsh lesson and one I deeply detested.” Rebecca gritted her teeth as a lump formed in her throat, for she knew without a doubt why she had come here today.
Not to prove to the ton that she wasn’t weak.
Not even to prove it to her uncle.
But to herself.
For deep down, Rebecca feared that in the end she would bow her head and do as she was told like countless young women all over the country. Because she feared to be abandoned. Because she feared the harshness of life. Because the devil she knew was less frightful than the one she didn’t.
“What will your tedious suitor say if he hears of this?” Zach asked all of a sudden, his jaw clenched. The hands that held his horse’s reins turned white at the strain he forced on them.