Guarding Antonia

by Nicole Flockton

  Antonia sat and tracked his movements around the front of the car then he opened the backdoor behind her and, she assumed, grabbed the bag Erin had packed. In a flash, her door was open and he extended a hand toward her.

  She looked at it then up at the man it belonged to. His face was shadowed in the evening light, but his strength couldn’t be denied and an overwhelming need to be wrapped up in his strong arms swept over her.

  Releasing her own seatbelt, she placed her hand in his. His fingers closed around hers in a sure grip and his warmth spread through her soul. Without thought, she leaned into him and laid her head on his chest.

  “Thank you for coming today, Brendan,” she said softly.

  “Wouldn’t be anywhere else, T,” he responded and kissed the top of her head. “Let’s get you inside and to bed.”

  She shivered at the thought of bed. Would he put her in one of his guest rooms or would she be sleeping with him? A day ago, she would’ve balked at the thought of sleeping in the same bed as Robot, but tonight, tonight she wanted it. Wanted to be held in his strong arms. Wanted to know she didn’t have to be by herself.

  Once inside the house, everything was immediately familiar. Robot’s house was always the place where the team met up for various get-togethers. She’d been to the house numerous times and each time the surroundings grew more familiar to her and she normally walked around the house as if she owned it.

  Tonight, though, she was nervous about what was going to happen next. This was the first time they’d been by themselves in house since that first weekend over a year ago. Did she go to one of the guest rooms or did she go to Robot’s room? Was he expecting more from her tonight than merely sleeping? Did she want more than to sleep tonight?

  No. She stomped on that thought of her and Robot making love. God, talk about muddying the waters of their relationship more by having sex. Losing herself in the sensations Robot could generate in her so she could forget all she’d been through was a temptation she couldn’t give into. She may feel wonderful afterwards, but it would only complicate their already complicated relationship.

  “Why don’t you go get ready for bed, I’ll be up in a few.”

  “Which room?” she asked.

  Robot closed the small distance between them, the bag dropping from his hand with a thud as it hit the ground. He threaded his fingers through her hair until he cupped her skull. “Mine. But I promise you this, T, nothing will happen. I’m just going to hold you and keep you safe all night. Okay?”

  Words were impossible. The ice normally present in his eyes, had melted giving way to an oasis of blue that she could sink into. “Okay.”

  “Good, now.” He bent and picked the bag up. “Here you go. You know which way to go?”

  Antonia gripped the bag and nodded. Their eyes remained locked together for a couple of heartbeats before she broke the connection and headed toward his bedroom. If she stayed any closer to him, she couldn’t be responsible for her actions. No matter how much her body may want to lose itself his.

  The second she walked into his room and saw his bed, she was assailed with a million memories. Even now her stomach churned in excitement and her cheeks began to tingle. She closed her eyes and counted to ten, willing her body to stop this visceral response she fell into every time she was near the man.

  “Not tonight, Antonia,” she muttered as she strode over to the bed and dumped the bag on the navy blue comforter.

  The room was a typical bachelor’s room. A dark mahogany chest of drawers against one wall. Two matching bedside tables next to a large bed. She recalled joking with Robot that his bed was huge, too big for one person. At the time she’d been hit with a stab of jealousy wondering how many other women had shared it, but he told her he’d had it custom-made and it turned out bigger than he anticipated. Getting sheets was a bitch but he managed. He also informed her that the furniture was only a month old and she would be the first person to share it. She’d jumped him them, wanting to test it out.

  How many other women had been in that bed since she’d last lain in it? She quickly pushed the thought away. She didn’t want to know.

  Determined to be tucked beneath the covers and asleep before Robot walked into the room, she unzipped the bag, rolling her eyes when she spied the box of condoms with a yellow sticky note attached.

  Just in case. E

  Antonia knew for a fact that Robot had his own supply of condoms in the top drawer of one of the bedside tables. At least, they were there the last time she’d been with him. Where they still there? Or had the box been replaced numerous times over?

  Now that the seed had been planted, she couldn’t unroot it. But she had to fight the urge to pull open the drawer to see if the same box still resided in it.

  Antonia shook her head, couldn’t give in. It wasn’t her place to know what Robot had done or not done in the last year since they spent the weekend here.

  During all the times the team had gotten together, he’d been by himself. He’d always made his way over to her side, to either antagonize her or check to see if she needed anything. Surely if he’d been with someone, Erin would’ve mentioned it to her.

  “Oh my God, what am I doing?” she said out loud trying to shush the calamity of conversation going on in her head. “Just get into bed and forget about everything.”

  Getting into bed was easy, forgetting about everything else was going to be more difficult. But she could do it. Push everything out of her mind that didn’t need to be there—most especially Robot’s sex life.

  With that resolve thrumming through her, she pulled out the oversized t-shirt Erin had packed and padded to the bathroom. She looked longingly at the shower. She’d love nothing more than to let warm water sluice over her and wash away the taint of the day. But knowing her, once she got in there, it would be about twenty minutes before she got out again and that was twenty minutes she didn’t have.

  She quickly washed her face, brushed her teeth and changed in to the t-shirt. Looking in the mirror she rolled her eyes at the shirt Erin had given her. Of course, it was a Navy SEAL shirt, though faded, the trident symbol was obvious.

  What would Robot think when he spied her in a shirt that so clearly belonged to Carlos? Would he rip it off her and demand she wear one of his?

  She quivered at the thought of standing in just panties in front of him.

  Okay, we’re still not going there, she admonished her sub-conscious which had turned into a sex-crazed young adult.

  Antonia picked up her pile of clothes and walked back into the bedroom, stopping when she spied Robot standing in the middle of the room, shirtless, his impressive chest on display for her to see.

  Crap, she’d taken too long and her plan to be fast asleep by the time he walked back in disappeared quicker than a mouse spying a cat.

  “Hey, are you doing okay?” he asked when he saw her standing in the doorway.

  “Yep.” She kept her eyes averted as she went past him to dump her clothes on the bag, which now lay on the floor and not in the middle of the bed where she’d left it.

  “What’s that shirt you’re wearing?” he asked when she straightened up.

  Oh boy, here we go, what’s going to happen now. She faced him. “Just a shirt Erin put in my bag for me to sleep in.”

  His eyes narrowed for a second and she waited for the explosion to happen. Instead, his features relaxed and he chuckled. “That asshole. I knew he’d taken my favorite shirt.”

  So not the reaction she was expecting at all. “What? This is your shirt?” She pointed to the soft material.

  “Yeah, it is. Italy kept denying he’d taken it. It’s a running joke between the guys in the team. One or the other always takes it. It’s been missing for a couple of months now. That asshole is going to pay tomorrow at PT for taking my shit.”

  “I don’t think I’ll ever understand you guys. You’re grown men, yet you act like a bunch of vagabond teenagers.”

  He crossed his arms over his
chest, drawing her eyes to the way the muscles rippled with the movement. “Vagabond teenagers, huh?”

  “Yes.” She feigned a yawn, because if she didn’t get into bed, she would more than likely wrap her arms around Robot and ask him to kiss away all her pain. “It’s been a fucked up kind of day and all I want to do is sleep. I just hope I can.”

  Immediately the humor left his face and his serious I’m-the-team-lead look returned. “Do you need something to help you sleep? I can give you a sleeping pill, although I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

  The thought of taking a sleeping pill didn’t appeal. No doubt she’d sink into the sweet oblivion of sleep, but it was the waking up that she wouldn’t look forward to. She’d heard enough stories from friends to know after they’d taken one, the next day it felt like they were wandering around in a fog.

  “Thanks, but no. I’m sure once my head hits the pillow, I’ll be out like a light.” She crossed her fingers behind her back.

  He studied her for a few moments longer and she lifted her chin and met his gaze. A silent battle of the wills took place, before he shook his head. “Fine. Get into bed, I’m just going to…yeah.” He brushed past her and out the room.

  “What the hell was that all about?” she murmured to the empty room.

  Giving up trying to understand what was going through Robot’s head, she climbed into bed. Immediately her senses were assailed with the scent of the aftershave he wore. The cool, crisp scent reminded her of fall nights in upstate New York. A hint of pine in the air and the crunch of early fresh snow under her feet. She’d only been upstate once with an old college boyfriend, but the memory had stuck with her. Not the boyfriend, he’d turned out to be a total dick, but memories of the lodge they’d stayed at and the surrounding wooded area, had made a lasting impression.

  She tucked that memory close to her mind as she shut her eyes and willed sleep to come quickly.

  Robot placed the glass in the sink and gazed out at his darkened backyard. He had to walk out of his bedroom otherwise he would’ve forgotten all his good intentions and scooped Antonia up in his arms and kissed her senseless.

  Seeing her in his favorite t-shirt, the fabric skimming the middle of her thighs, had been temptation personified. Then he took in her face, surrounded by a gorgeous mass of curls, and the vulnerability he saw struck him deep in the heart. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and never let her go. He wanted to kiss her and make love to her until all her fears and doubts were gone. Only the faint hint of purple beneath her eyes had stopped him from following through with his actions.

  Instead, he’d stumbled over his words like a teenage boy and bolted from the bedroom. If the guys could have seen him, they would’ve laughed their heads off. He was always cool and calm. He might have gotten his nickname because he could do a mean robot dance, but over time his lack of emotion and reaction in certain situations had other teams wondering if he’d gotten the name because of his robot-like nature. He let them believe that.

  He transferred his gaze from the yard to the glowing numbers on his microwave. Forty-five minutes had passed since he’d walked out of his bedroom. Plenty of time for Antonia to fall asleep. At least he hoped so, after the trauma she’d seen he wouldn’t be surprised if she tossed and turned all night. He planned to be right by her side should she have a nightmare.

  Which she could be having right now.

  The inner thought spurred him into action and he strode back through the house to his room. The lamp on his side table cast a golden glow around the room. Antonia was curled up on his side of the bed. One hand under the pillow while the other was on top of the covers. She appeared to be sleeping the sleep of the dreamless and he was glad for that.

  Damn, she looked perfect in his bed.

  He’d keep her there if she’d let him, but that would never happen. Come tomorrow, in the cold light of day, she’d demand he drive her home then they’d argue about it, but in the end he’d heed her wishes, even though it went against everything in him to do so. As much as he wanted to protect and guard her, he wouldn’t force the issue, but he’d be close by if she needed him. He would make sure she understood that.

  Making as little noise as possible he took care of the necessities and then shucked his jeans and boxers. Going over to his dresser, he pulled out a pair of gym shorts and thrust his legs into them. Normally, he slept naked but didn’t think Antonia would appreciate it if she woke up during the night and found him sans clothes. The shorts would have to do, even if he didn’t like sleeping with the restrictions of clothing when he was home. After so many nights sleeping on hard packed earth in his full kit, he liked the freedom sleeping nude gave him.

  Did Antonia sleep naked as well?

  His dick sprang to life at the thought and he cursed himself for having a thought like that as he was about to climb into bed with her.

  He willed his engorged flesh to cease and desist, while he lifted the covers and slid between the cool sheets. It felt weird as hell to be sleeping on this side of the bed, but he had no plans to disturb the sleeping woman next to him. Her soft exhales of breath were reassuring that no demons had decided to threaten her in her sleep. He turned onto his side so that he could look at her and confirm that she was truly asleep. Her eyelashes rested in half-moons against her sleep pinkened cheeks. Her mouth was slightly open, and her fingers twitched every now and then. He could watch her sleep for eternity. Never one to believe in fate, hell, he walked into situations fate ran away from, but Antonia turning up in his life out of the blue and now this marriage issue, he couldn’t help but think he was being sent a message. He hadn’t looked at another woman since that night in Vegas. He would do everything possible to convince her to give their marriage a second chance.

  He didn’t want to let Antonia go.

  Chapter 6

  A groan woke Antonia from her dreamless sleep. For a few seconds she felt disoriented not recognizing where she was. Nor recognizing the sound. She was pretty sure it hadn’t been she who’d groaned.

  “Get him.” The words were mumbled next to her, and everything came rushing back in a flood. Her heart went from zero to sixty and her lips went drier than a desert.

  She’d witnessed a murder.

  Had to explain her marriage to their friends.

  Currently sleeping in Robot’s bed.

  Oh my God. She turned on her side to look at the man. Even though the light was switched off, the faint glow from the moon filtered through the curtainless windows. Robot’s brow was furrowed, and she could see a sheen of sweat across his forehead.

  “You can’t let him get her. We have to save her.” Anguish colored his words. His legs moved restlessly beneath the covers, tugging them away from her body.

  “I’ve got to get to her. I’ve got to get her.” He repeated the litany over and over.

  Anxiety built inside of her and she reached out a hand to touch his shoulder, only to pull back at the last second.

  Should I wake him?

  It wasn’t hard to work out he was in the throes of a nightmare. The irony of the situation wasn’t lost on her. If anyone should be having a nightmare right now, it should be her.

  Had helping her triggered Robot’s own forgotten memories? He kept mumbling about needing to save a woman, his words sometime slurred, sometime shouted. Was this woman from one of the missions? She was aware, from talking to Erin, that the team members never talked to their spouses or girlfriends about what they did, or had to do, when they were away. Most of the missions were top secret and under the radar kind of stuff.

  “Oh my God, no. Fuck no. No. No. No.”

  Fear now gripped Antonia, twisting her insides into a mass of knots, seeing her big brave SEAL in such distress. His hands were now twisting the covers and she was surprised the fabric hadn’t ripped with the force of his motions.

  She had to wake him. But she had to do it carefully.

  Once again, she reached out to touch him gently on the shoulder freezing
when he sat upright, his eyes still firmly shut.

  “No. Antonia. Noooooooo.” His cry echoed around the room.

  What the hell?

  He was dreaming about her?

  Throwing caution to the wind and disregarding the possibility that she might get hurt she wrapped her hand around his bicep, the muscle tense and hard as granite beneath her fingers.

  “Brendan. Wake up.”

  He didn’t wake but brought his hands up to cover his face. “No, I can’t lose you,” he whispered.

  God, she wanted to cry at the agony etched over his face and in every taut muscle of his body. She had to wake him. Bring him out of the well of pain he swam in.

  “Robot,” she said a little louder and shook him gently. “Wake up. You’re dreaming.”

  It was enough. His eyes shot open and he jerked his head to face her. His gaze locked on her, but he wasn’t really seeing her. His chest heaved with every breath he took. “Antonia?”

  “Yeah, I’m here. You were dreaming.”

  In a blur of movement, she was hauled against his chest and his hands framed her face. “You’re here.” He repeated before his mouth crashed over hers. This wasn’t a lustful kiss; it was a kiss of desperation, impossible to ignore and so she opened her mouth and allowed him access.

  The arms that had held in her a breathtakingly tight embrace loosened a fraction as his kiss slowed.

  When the need to breath took over them, his lips peppered over her face.

  “I.” Kiss

  “Thought.” Kiss

  “You.” Kiss

  “Were gone.” Kiss

  This wasn’t the man she’d known over the last year. That man was strong and never let anything bother him. This man was still caught in the remnants of his dream and she wasn’t sure how he’d react if he was fully aware of what he was doing. How he was acting. And what he was saying.

  He laid back down, keeping her firmly entrenched in his arms. His head resting in the crook where her neck met her shoulder. “I thought I’d lost you,” he whispered. “I couldn’t bear that.”