by Holly Rayner
After checking the list of restaurants, Joanna decided to go get lunch at one of them. She blow-dried her hair and pocketed her phone so that she could make note of interesting sights along the way, the better to revisit them later.
She left the hotel and took the long way, walking along the waterfront. The restaurant she had chosen was a seafood place, and Joanna was eager to see how Al-Yaran people prepared seafood. Would anything live up to the lobster rolls she had been served on the beach the day she had met Ahmad? She doubted it.
But then, what was it about that day that had really been so special? Was it the lobster rolls? Or was it Ahmad himself?
That was a question Joanna wasn’t ready to answer.
I do have feelings for him, she thought. Of course I do. It would be weird if I didn’t, right? He’s giving me something that I thought I had lost. He’s giving me a child. And he’s stunning to look at, and smart, and funny, and none of that hurts matters, either.
But she was going to have to get over those feelings. Ahmad wasn’t going to be her boyfriend. This wasn’t going to be a relationship. They wouldn’t be able to date each other, to get to know each other slowly, to luxuriate in finding out all the good things about each other.
We need to know everything we can about each other right away.
And that was no way to conduct a relationship with somebody.
But it was a good way to do business.
Joanna arrived at the restaurant after a ten-minute walk. She was seated at a little table at the end of the pier. She didn’t mention Ahmad’s name—it felt too strange to name-drop the Sheikh of this country that was still so foreign to her—but the waitress must have recognized an American when she saw one. A bottle of champagne was immediately brought to Joanna’s table and opened for her.
From her seat on the pier, Joanna could see the ships in the harbor, some of them setting sail, others docking. Big cruise ships with passengers hanging over the railing to farewell the city. Smaller fishing boats with dark, leathery-skinned men hauling ropes and yelling to each other. She could smell the brine and salt and hear the waves smacking against the shore.
It was beautiful. Just like everything else she had seen in Al-Yara, it took her breath away.
She didn’t know what to order—they had no English menu—so the waitress brought her a plate of seasoned scallops and a basket of freshly baked bread. Joanna couldn’t remember the last time she had luxuriated so fully in a meal, and by the time she returned to her hotel, she thought she would go right to sleep.
But when she sat down on the bed, she saw that there was another email from Ahmad.
Dear Joanna,
I’m sure you’re out taking in all the sights of the city, and I look forward to hearing about what you saw and did. I hope you don’t think me rude for emailing you again so soon, but I’ve had a bit of an exciting afternoon myself, and it occurred to me that there was nobody else I wanted to, or even could, talk to about it.
It’s weird, having a virtual stranger be the person who knows more than anybody else about your life.
I met with an aircraft manufacturing company today to discuss my vision for my airline and to see whether the plane I’m thinking of can be built. They’re going to do some sketches and blueprints and get back to me. It’s all beginning to feel very real.
Of course, I can’t tell my family about this, or they would want to know what makes me think I’m going to be able to afford it! But you already know everything, so there’s no harm in opening up to you.
I hope this email isn’t a burden. Please don’t feel compelled to reply.
Cordially,
Ahmad.
A happy shiver went down Joanna’s spine. She starred the email and saved it in her Ahmad folder, then started typing out her reply with a smile on her face.
Chapter 10
Ahmad
Ahmad arrived at the doctor’s office half an hour early, hoping the extra time would help him to feel more in control of the afternoon. He had been dwelling all night on the prospect of seeing Joanna again, reminding himself of the importance of keeping things professional between them when he did see her.
The problem, as he saw it, was that having a child was an inherently emotional thing. It was going to be difficult to keep emotion out of it as they went through this process together. And emotion was exactly what had tripped them up so badly the last time they had been together.
I have to keep a cool head around her. It’s the only way to make this work.
Still, when she came through the door, hair swinging loosely around her shoulders, skin tanned and freckled from a week spent under the desert sun, she took his breath away.
Perhaps it would have been better if I had chosen someone less beautiful for this.
He got to his feet as she took a seat. “I’m glad to see you,” he said.
“It’s good to see you, too,” she replied.
Ahmad noticed that she didn’t make eye contact. He supposed she was just as nervous as he was, after what had happened between them the last time they had met.
For a fleeting moment, he wondered whether she found him attractive. But he pushed the thought away. He couldn’t allow such questions to occupy his mind. He had to remain focused.
“How has your week been?” he asked, endeavoring to steer the conversation into safe waters.
“Very nice,” she said. “Sepha is a lovely city. I’m glad to get to know the place where my child will be spending so much time. We’ll have to get you out to Pleasant Hill, Missouri, sometime, so that you can see where they’ll be living the rest of the time.”
“That would be very nice,” Ahmad said, hating how stilted he sounded.
He wished he could talk naturally to her, as he had the first time they had met. She had been so easy to talk to. But all he could think was of the way her skin had felt under his hands that night.
He had to keep his distance. If he allowed himself to get close, he would break.
She glanced up at him. “Have you been to the Midwest before?” she asked.
“I haven’t had the pleasure,” he said. “I’ve been to New York and to San Francisco a few times, but I’ve never been to Missouri.”
“It’s nothing like New York or San Francisco,” she said, smiling. “But I like it. It’s very calm, very peaceful.”
“Have you lived there your whole life?”
She nodded. “That’s part of the reason I wanted to travel so badly,” she said. “I graduated college with very little experience of the world, and I wanted very much to see what else was out there before I settled down.”
“I’m glad you did,” Ahmad said. “I would never have met you, otherwise.”
Joanna flushed and looked at her feet.
“Just because our arrangement is working out so well for both of us,” Ahmad said hastily. “Not because of… anything else.”
“Right,” Joanna said.
The doctor emerged from the examination room.
“Miss Perkins?” he said, inclining his head. “We’re all set up for your procedure, so you can come right in if you’re ready.”
“Do you want me to come in with you?” Ahmad asked her.
“Maybe it’s better if you don’t,” she said.
Ahmad nodded. He turned to the doctor.
“I want it understood that any medical information that pertains to Miss Perkins is to be discussed with her first,” he said.
“Before yourself?” the doctor clarified.
“That’s right,” Ahmad said firmly.
Joanna met his eyes and gave a little smile. “Thanks,” she whispered.
Ahmad felt his heart beat a quick staccato. What was it about this woman that was so entrancing? He nodded and turned away, picking up a book he had brought with him and pretending to lose himself in it.
He didn’t look up again until the door had closed behind Joanna and the doctor, leaving him alone in the waiting area.
So no
w we’re committed.
This had been such an impulsive decision. He knew it would impact his life forever, and it felt strange that he had done it so quickly, with so little consideration. But what choice had he really had? If he wanted to inherit—and he did—this was the only way to do it.
He opened his briefcase and pulled out the sketches of his plane.
The plane that would be his.
It was perfect. Everything he had envisioned was laid out before his eyes, and he could practically envision it flying off the page. He was so close to achieving this dream.
He had thought he might share this picture with Joanna today. After all, he had been able to email her and tell her about the meeting he’d had with the designers. That had felt good. He had opened up to her in a way he couldn’t have done with anybody else.
But talking through a computer was a lot easier than talking in person. As soon as he had come face-to-face with Joanna again, he had known that he wouldn’t be able to show her the picture. He imagined the two of them leaning over the paper, her hair brushing his cheek, her hand touching his…
He stood up abruptly, shoving the drawing back in his bag, needing to walk off the sudden rush of desire he felt.
Stop thinking about her that way. It’s bad for you both and worse for your kid. This is a professional business arrangement. Nothing more.
He knew he had about twenty minutes before the procedure would be completed, so he decided to step out and visit the corner flower shop, to buy a bouquet for Joanna. Surely that would be an appropriate way of thanking her for today.
But when he reached the shop, he hesitated outside.
He pictured himself handing her a bouquet of flowers. What would he say? What would she say? She would be taken aback, he thought. Surprised. Maybe even unpleasantly so. Flowers were something you gave to a woman on a date. They weren’t something you gave to a business partner.
Why did this have to be so fraught?
With a sigh, he went into a coffee shop and ordered a cappuccino for himself and, after some thought, a pastry for Joanna. That was innocuous enough, wasn’t it? It made sense that he would want to look after her health while she was carrying his child. A desire to nourish her—and by extension, the baby—wasn’t an unprofessional thing.
He returned to the doctor’s office just as Joanna was stepping out into the waiting room.
“Did everything go all right?” he asked.
“I think so,” Joanna said.
“How do you feel?”
“Nervous,” she admitted. “A little shaky. But okay otherwise.”
He handed her the paper bag. “I got you something.”
She looked in and smiled.
“That was thoughtful,” she said, closing the bag in her fist. “I’ll eat it later, if you don’t mind. I don’t have much of an appetite right now.”
“That’s fine,” Ahmad said, feeling awkward, regretting the fact that he’d brought her anything at all.
He could have just stayed in the waiting room and everything would have been fine.
I’m going to have to stop overthinking every last thing I do, if this arrangement is going to work.
With effort, he returned his thoughts to the practical.
“How soon will we know if the procedure was effective?” he asked.
“The doctor said I could take a pregnancy test in three weeks,” Joanna said. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to wait that long, though. I’ll probably go out and buy a bunch of them as soon as I get home.”
“Let me pay for that,” Ahmad suggested.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“It was part of the deal,” he said. “We said that I would pay for all the pregnancy-related expenses.”
“Well, I want to pay for some things,” she said. “It’s my baby, too. And besides, it’s not like excessive pregnancy tests are a necessary expenditure. That’s just something I’m doing for myself.”
“Are you sure?” he asked. “I’m more than willing to write you a check. I’ll even add a little extra so you can go out and buy yourself something nice.”
Immediately, he knew he had made a mistake. It wasn’t his responsibility to treat Joanna to nice things. That wasn’t a condition of their agreement. She looked down at the pastry bag in her hand, and he knew she was thinking the same thing.
“They told me there was about a thirty percent chance of success,” he said quickly, hoping to distract her from his blunder.
She nodded. “I thought it would be higher than that. What are we going to do if it doesn’t work? Try again?”
“Would you be willing?” he asked, surprised. “It would mean you would have to take more time off of work, fly all the way back to Al-Yara… I didn’t want to make any assumptions.”
“I worried you might not want to try more than once with me,” she admitted. “If I don’t become pregnant within six months, you’re going to have to move on to someone else, and I know how pressed for time you are.”
That was true, and Ahmad knew it. If the first attempt with Joanna wasn’t successful, it might make sense to start looking for a different partner. Someone who would be more viable long term.
But the idea of doing this with her had taken root in his head. Somehow, for some reason he couldn’t explain, the idea of finding someone else felt wrong. He wanted it to be her.
“No,” he said. “I think you and I should try as many times as it takes. I think we’ve found a good partnership, and we should capitalize on that. It’s just good business sense, isn’t it?”
“What if it never takes?” she asked quietly.
“Then I’ll decide what to do from there. But let’s not borrow trouble. We’re not there yet. There’s a good possibility this procedure will give us our desired results.”
“Well, I’ll be in touch in two weeks, I suppose,” she said. “Should I email you? Or do you want me to call?”
“Call me,” he said. “Call with any news you have. Even if you take a negative pregnancy test later tonight. I want to be kept up-to-date on everything.”
Perhaps it was foolish, but Ahmad wanted to feel involved in every phase of the pregnancy. It bothered him to think that Joanna would be going so far away and that he wouldn’t be able to see her every day.
She would think I was crazy if she knew what I was thinking. And maybe I am crazy. After all, what can I really do for her right now? There’s nothing to do but to wait, and we don’t need to be in the same place to do that.
It was probably better for them to be apart right now, truth be told. Ahmad knew that he needed to stop obsessing about the night they had spent together. They needed time to re-center themselves and focus on what came next.
“I’ll call you,” she promised. “You’ll know everything as it happens.”
He nodded. “When is your flight out?”
“Not until tomorrow morning.”
He could have asked her to join him for dinner that night. For a moment, he seriously considered it. There would be nothing unprofessional about a dinner—business partners met over meals all the time. And if she wasn’t comfortable, she could always turn him down.
But did he really want to sit across from her in the dim lighting of a restaurant, watching the glow of a candle on her face and the way she seemed to light up from within when she found something funny? Did he really want to be so close to the scent of her perfume, close enough to reach out and touch her?
He knew the answer to that.
He wanted it. He wanted it very much.
Too much.
So, he said nothing.
“I’ll see you again soon, I hope,” she said.
“One way or another,” he agreed, trying to keep his tone cool and somewhat distant.
Joanna pulled the strap of her purse over her shoulder and held out her hand. It took him a moment to realize that she intended him to shake it.
He did so, letting go much more quickly than he would have o
rdinarily.
Joanna stepped back and gave him a last, long look. He thought he saw sadness in her eyes.
But I’m sure I’m just projecting.
Ahmad was the one who was sad. Why exactly he felt sad, he couldn’t have said—only that he was suddenly swamped by feelings of regret and loss. It didn’t make sense. They had completed the IVF procedure. He should have felt happy and hopeful. He was going to become a father, and he was going to inherit the money his uncle had once promised him.
“I’ll call you,” Joanna promised, and she turned and walked out the door.
Ahmad stood in the waiting room for several minutes. He felt a bit shell-shocked, and there was a part of him that wanted to chase after her.
She’s in Sepha tonight! There’s no reason in the world you shouldn’t spend this time with her. You already gave up the whole week that you could have spent getting to know each other better. This is the last chance you’ll have for a while.
He shook his head, gathered up his things, and left the doctor’s office.
Instead of turning toward the hotel, he headed toward his family’s estate. It was only a fifteen-minute walk from the Sepha city center, and Ahmad knew that he could use the time to help him clear his head. And once he got home, his family would provide enough of a distraction to help him keep his mind off of Joanna.
It was so strange that he couldn’t tell them that such monumental things were happening in his life. A part of him wished he could confide in them. But he knew that would be a disaster.
If anybody finds out, it’ll be a matter of days before Umar knows.
And if Umar knew that he was at risk of losing that inheritance, he would get to work on baby-making right away.
He had a definite advantage. Ahmad could only conduct one IVF procedure per month. Umar and his wife could try as many times as they wanted. The odds were overwhelmingly in their favor.
The only way I have a chance is if Umar doesn’t know I’m in the race at all, he thought as his family’s home came into view on the horizon. I’ll keep it to myself for as long as I can, at any cost.