Butterflies & Characters

by Liz Hsu

His phone rang, and he glanced at it. I made a mental note to look up their camp, even though I was sure my savings from waiting tables wouldn’t cover the cost.

  “I need to take this, but I’ll tell Greg to keep an eye out for you. If you don’t get in touch, I’ll give your dad his number. He wants to study architecture too. I hope to see you around, Ray.”

  He answered the phone with a wave goodbye. Dad and I stopped at his favorite coffee shop—The Cup, a quirky little place with local artwork all over—for a quick bite before heading to Rosalind Franklin High School for my healthcare meeting.

  Surprisingly, the last week of summer had passed faster than I thought it would. I tried all the suggestions Dr. Ezra had mentioned, and the iron did help me feel less tired. Walking wasn’t running, but it had been good to get outside and stretch my legs. I’d been doing it early in the mornings, so the sun wouldn’t be as bad, and it did make me feel happier. Dad had gone with me most times and pointed out all his interests on the campus—mainly, that was the Economics Department, his faculty office, and The Cup. I’d liked his office in the economics building, and going to the Brown Bags had been fascinating.

  Everything here was so different, more urbane than back home. And I loved it. Back home, it’d been all about the beach, the marsh, going fishing, and drinking beer in someone’s backyard, not that I ever drank any. Ann Arbor was like downtown Savannah, small enough to walk, and with all the college students, there were so many cafés, coffee shops, and boutique stores.

  Dad did everything with me with a smile. We’d been having fun cooking together or going out to eat a variety of food I’d rarely get back home. Dad would eat just about anything, and loved authentic cuisine. Plus, here it was just Dad and me, no spouse or siblings, and I’d never had attention like this in my life. I thought maybe he was honestly as glad to have me there as I was to be with him. He certainly never made me feel like a burden the way Mom had.

  He patted my shoulder as we headed into my school healthcare meeting. Dad and my doctors had coordinated this so the school might comprehend lupus and how it might affect my year. I couldn’t remember ever having a parent-teacher meeting, and I wore a dress and cardigan like I’d have worn to church. I wanted to make a good first impression.

  As the meeting progressed, everyone seemed understanding that I’d miss more school because of doctors’ appointments, and might occasionally leave early if I got too tired. Well, everyone except the Spanish teacher. She frowned as she exited, practically rolling her eyes at me.

  “Do you think it’s too late to switch to Mandarin?” I whispered to Dad.

  He glanced at me, then smiled and caught the assistant principal before he left. He was fluent in Mandarin from earning his Ph.D. in economics and was a little obsessed with the Chinese economy. Plus, there were really cool opportunities for architecture students in China.

  “Sorry, Mr. Rybinski, but Ray thought she would rather take Mandarin One. Is that possible?”

  The assistant principal looked like he might argue for a minute, so I said, “One of my best friends is Chinese, so he can help me if I need tutoring.”

  He looked down curiously. “Who?”

  “Charles Wong.”

  “Charles? Well, that’s great! He’s one of our top students. He’s a team captain in the Robotics Club and he’s in the running for valedictorian. No one’s even close to him, but of course we have a whole year, so things could change. Great kid. With him as a friend, I’m sure you’ll settle in in no time.” He scratched his beard. “You know, there isn’t Chinese level one at that time. I’ll have to move your schedule around, but I’ll try to see if I can get you and Charles into the same lunch section. No promises, but I’ll try. I’m sure it’s been a rough few weeks for you with getting a new diagnosis and new city. If I can, I will.”

  The weekend passed in a blur, with Dad hunched over his desk tweaking syllabi and me drawing out my anxiety over starting the new school year. Now here I was on Tuesday morning on the first day of school. The outfit I’d laid out suddenly didn’t seem right, but I glanced at the clock and realized I didn’t have much time, so I just slipped into the jeans and fitted charcoal crew neck T-shirt I’d laid out. By the time I grabbed my bookbag and purse, I barely made it to the curb before Charles’s familiar Forester pulled up.

  “Hiya, Charles, the second-place international piano star!” I said as I slipped into the car.

  “Second place,” he grumbled. “That means more practice before the next one in October.”

  I thumped him on the shoulder. “Hey, at least I know a fan of your music. I like hearing you practice.”

  He shook his head, but his grumbling was undone by the grin he couldn’t quite keep off his face. It made the butterflies in my chest flutter with approval.

  I couldn’t control my curiosity. “So when is your lunch?”

  “Sixth period, with Knox.”

  “Really?” I bounced in my seat. “Me too!”

  Mr. Rybinski had been able to help me out. I asked about Charles’s cousins and Wàipó, but he was a little more reserved than normal on the ten-minute drive to school. I was sure he was nervous too. He put more pressure on himself than anyone I’d ever met. I knew his parents were strict, but I also knew the real driving force behind Charles was Charles. He pretended it was them, but they really loved him so much. They might grumble, but they’d love him no matter what, as long as he worked hard and was a good person.

  My heart skidded as we walked across the parking lot. What would this new school be like? During the few minutes before classes started, Charles introduced me to a few students and teachers, though I knew I’d never remember everyone’s name. I waved in relief to Kevin, who was holding a giant music case. He was a senior, so I knew we likely wouldn’t have classes together, but at least he was familiar, even if he’d been the least friendly of the Snowblowers so far.

  “What is that?” I asked curiously.

  Kevin laughed. “Double bass. I play bass and double bass. Charles is in orchestra too, but he plays piano.”

  “Wow, your instrument is huge.”

  “You’d be amazed what I can do with it.” He exchanged an amused look with Charles, and I felt my cheeks heat at the innuendo. He added, “Yep, so sorry, gotta run or it’ll be impossible to navigate the halls with my huge double bass.”

  Kevin made it down the hall just in time because, less than two minutes later, the bell chimed, and we scampered to our classes.

  My nerves continued to hitch up throughout the day as everyone teased me about my accent. I hadn’t thought it that strong, especially compared to my friends back home.

  But…

  My “hi” was wrong.

  I was too polite.

  No one said y’all.

  Heck, everything I said was apparently too country. I was so tired of everyone teasing me, I was starting to feel like a real hick. And everyone here seemed so smart. Maybe it was being so close to the university and that so many students were professors’ kids, but intelligence here was the new cool. Back home, I’d been considered decently smart, but here I was feeling run-of-the-mill.

  By the time lunch rolled around, I’d had choir, AP Geography, AP Chemistry, world literature, and AP Art. Geography, lit, and art had been great, chemistry was a little intimidating, and choir made me hope I didn’t disappoint the Snowblowers.

  I walked into the cafeteria, clutching my lunch bag. Knox waved me over. I chuckled, surprised he could see me through the hair dangling in his eyes. He led me to their table as Charles waited for hot lunch. Since he was a senior like Charles, he also wasn’t in any of my classes.

  “Ray, that drawing,” Knox said when we sat down. “Dope.”

  “Thanks.” If I’d known everyone would be talking about it, I would have polished it more before giving it away.

  “It’s great you’re j
oining the band. You can help me pitch my drum solos,” he said with a mischievous grin.

  “Sure,” I said bumping his shoulder. I liked Knox.

  “Knew I could count on you.” Knox gave me a fist bump.

  My lips turned up, and I started feeling a little better about my day so far. To Knox, I was one of the guys.

  Charles headed toward our table, flashing me a dimply grin that lit up his whole face.

  As our eyes met, I couldn’t control the buzzing of my heart’s cicadas, which grew stronger whenever Charles was near. I was excited to talk to him. I suddenly couldn’t wait to tell him about my day and hear about his.

  Shoot, I realized as I tried to slow my racing heart. I didn’t like Charles as a friend—I liked him.

  I’d watched Ray duck into Algebra II next door to my AP Calculus, but it had been too crowded for me to get her attention. Lunch had been a rushed affair, and I couldn’t wait for the bell to ring to hear about her first day. Maybe I needed to start packing my lunch so I could sit with her the whole time, like Knox had. I was going to be so busy, but I wanted to share a little of my free time with her.

  AP Calculus, like most of my classes today, had wasted little time with introductions and most had been digging right in. I was taking six APs and was starting to feel it: AP Physics, AP Government, AP English, AP Chinese, AP Spanish, and AP Calculus. AP Chinese and orchestra were my only reasonably easy classes. The piano I’d studied for years, and I was fluent in Chinese but just needed work on my writing.

  In addition to my classes, I’d also be in the competitive Robotics Club, participating in piano competitions, and applying to college. I was overwhelmed already, but if I wanted any chance at getting into Caltech, I needed way above a 4.0. I had to get the highest GPA in my class, and could only do that with a heavy AP load.

  I started counting the seconds until the bell rang and was out of my seat, eager to catch Ray as soon as it sounded.

  One by one, classmates trickled out of the classroom. I heard her chiming laughter before I saw her, followed by her voice. “That is the worst Southern I’ve ever heard. I do not sound like that.”

  A deep voice followed: “Uh-huh, sure do.”

  It was a terrible Southern accent, which I saw belonged to a junior on the football team. I looked up at his broad frame and sandy blond hair and suddenly felt every bit the scrawny, nerdy robotics champion I was. I was just about to walk away and text Ray to meet at the car when she called, “Hi, Charles!” with a eager wave.

  “Hi.” I hoped I sounded as sure of myself as her new friend. I should have known just as soon as Ray met some more people, everyone would like her. What wasn’t to like? She was considerate, amusing, and stunningly pretty. I had no idea why she was so self-conscious. No, that was a lie. I thought maybe years of her mom putting her down made her believe the worse in herself. If she saw herself as I did there would be no stopping her.

  He nodded at me. “Hey man, what’s up? I think we have a class together.”

  I looked at him but couldn’t remember. I shook my head. “I’m not sure. Maybe AP Government or AP Spanish?”

  He laughed. “The look on your face, man. AP Government. Don’t look so surprised. Jocks can take an AP too.”

  I held out my hand, wanting to be the better person, not seeing what I’d said to make him bristle. “I’m Charles.”

  “Greg Davis.” He shook my hand firmly and swiveled to Ray. “I got to run to football. See you tomorrow. I’ll work on my impressions. Dad’s going to be thrilled we have a class together. He couldn’t stop talking about you, and it seems like, for once, everything Dad said was on point.” With a wink at her, he hurried down the hallway.

  Ray turned to me. “I need to go to my locker. Do you?” I nodded, wondering how she knew that guy’s dad. “Want to come with me, then we can go to yours?” I nodded again, so she kept talking. “So how was everything? How were your classes?”

  “It’ll be a tough year,” I said with a sigh.

  She stopped and looked at me, her enchanting eyes full of compassion. “Yeah?” she asked, stepping close enough her scent wafted over me. Jasmine. Always Jasmine.

  I nodded, unable to speak for a moment with how her gaze seemed to pierce through me, and how she in my personal space blocked out everything else—the bright, hot noisy corridor shifted to her calm, glacial-blue eyes.

  I blinked and said, “I’m taking all APs and I’m going to apply early, so these will be the last grades on my transcripts. But schools have been known to kick you out if your grades drop in second semester. Everything counts.”

  Her delicate fingers touched my arm. “I’m here if you ever want to talk about it.”

  Her genuineness radiated from her face and the warmth of her hand.

  “Thanks, Ray.” All I wanted was to sweep her into my arms. But for her, this was just friendship. We held each other’s gaze until she turned pink. Oh, crap. I hope she couldn’t tell what she did to me. I nodded and stepped back. She moved her hand and opened her locker.

  “So, what classes are you taking?” she called with her back to me. When I told her she said, “Jeez Louise, Charles! No wonder you’re stressed. And you do the band and piano? And robotics?”

  “Yep, so Tuesdays and Thursdays, starting week after next, you’ll need to take the bus in the afternoons. Then Friday mornings because of orchestra. Sorry.”

  “Yeah, no problem,” she said swiftly as she finished with her locker and followed me to mine. “Charles?” She said my name so tentatively, I stopped to look at her.

  “Ray?”

  Her cheeks were still pink. “I decided to take Mandarin. You know, Chinese level one. I don’t want to burden you, because wow, you have so much going on, but I was hoping we could talk in Chinese some, so I could practice. But maybe you won’t have time.”

  My heart raced at the excuse to spend more time with her. “I’ll make time for you, Ray, but it’ll have to be on the weekend.”

  She smiled. “That’ll work! Whenever, you can squeeze me in.”

  “It’s not all bad. The band is my highlight. Even the piano. I like that music is so structured. Organized. It is the best calm.”

  “You play amazing.”

  I shrugged and fiddled with my locker, but her words filled me with pride. Then I sighed, realizing I probably needed all my books. I momentarily became absorbed in the task of loading them into my backpack.

  “Do you not like Greg?” Her question startled me. I turned to see her chewing her lower lip. “You guys seemed tense. Is there something I should know about him?”

  The way she fiddled with her backpack straps, I’d say she was nervous. She always fiddled with something—her shorts, a straw wrapper, the seatbelt strap—when she was anxious. She was anxious a lot.

  Jealousy swept over me. Of course she’d like Greg. Greg was on the football team, and what had I even been thinking? Most girls would never give a guy like me a chance. I knew that from last year when I’d asked Lauren, a friendly auburn-haired girl from Spanish class, to Homecoming. She’d been polite, but whispers had come back to me: she couldn’t believe I’d asked her. I’m pretty sure she ended up going with some jock. I’d been so embarrassed, I thought I’d never go down that road again. Sure, I’d like to date, but that had sucked.

  I tried to close those thoughts with my locker. It took all I had to shrug. “I don’t know him.”

  She stepped closer and her voice dropped to a whisper. “But I mean, you guys didn’t seem like you liked each other.”

  “I have no idea what you mean.” The words felt like ash in my mouth, but somehow, I’d gotten them out. I enjoyed being around her so much. I’d rather have her as a friend than nothing.

  “Yeah?”

  It was hard to think with her scent enveloping me again. My shirt was starting to cling to my skin. I had nervous
habits of my own. She was standing close enough I could feel the heat coming off her. She couldn’t be so naïve she didn’t realize we both liked her, could she? Her face held confusion, worry, and uncertainty.

  “Yeah, I’m sorry I offended him. I was paying attention to the syllabus, not students.”

  “Okay, cool. I just want to make better friends…”

  “Like me?”

  She bumped my shoulder. “Duh.”

  After that, the conversation turned back to school and our classes. It seemed like in no time we were at the car, and then her dad’s condo, saying our “see you tomorrows” .

  I went right to work when I got home, because the guys were going to come over at seven thirty to practice. I thought about asking Ray to come but decided against it. My crush on her was getting out of control, and I wanted to ask James about it privately. Out of all of us, James had the most experience dating.

  Kevin, like me, had never had a girlfriend. He was short, and it was hard on him. Girls might complain about the expectations for them, but I’d seen the impact of height discrimination on Kevin. As a result, Kevin was rarely, if ever, nice to attractive girls. I didn’t know if it was a defense mechanism, or he was bitter. Either way, he was a horrible choice for asking dating advice.

  Knox’s dating life I wasn’t sure about. I thought he’d briefly dated some girl from his synagogue. But he was too close to Ray and we all had lunch together. If I asked him, it could make things weird between us. Plus, he had his own girl issues he never talked about. When he’d seen James’s little sister today, the most wistful look passed over his face and I wondered why he didn’t do anything about it. They even wanted to go to college in the same city, so what was holding him back?

  So really James was the only choice for dating advice in my friends circle.

  By the time the guys came over, I’d finished all my homework and eaten a quick dinner. We fell into rehearsals after everyone quizzed James on his first day of college. It sounded amazing, and I could not wait, even if James was still living at home to save money.