by Scott Damon
Jason tried to change the subject, asking Derek about his week and other things he’s been doing, but his mind kept coming back to his and Calvin’s flash argument. He couldn’t shake the feeling of regret.
Derek responded, but Jason barely listened. Eventually, Derek got up to leave. “Let me know if you want to discuss it more.”
“Okay, thanks.”
“That’s it? Not even, thanks ‘kid’?”
Jason showed little energy. “Yeah, thanks, kid. I appreciate you trying to help.”
* * *
Jason wondered what the weekend would be like and if he would even see Calvin. He texted him, called him, emailed him, everything he could imagine, constantly apologizing. He had no guess as to what Calvin was thinking or how angry he was. Maybe it would blow over, maybe not.
Jason spent a long time in the gym on Saturday, trying to work out his frustrations and burn energy. He tried to focus on homework in the evening, but wasn’t sure he was even turning out anything of quality. He had to reread passages in his textbooks multiple times before anything sunk in. It was one of the longest weekends of his life. He played video games with Derek as a distraction to help move it along.
On Monday, he didn’t know what to expect. Calvin didn’t swing by his locker as he usually did. It was an important week for play rehearsals, as the first performance was on Friday. Jason was sure he would see Calvin at rehearsal, but he didn’t show. Fortunately, he had a relatively small speaking part, so others could cover for him. Jason gave a lackluster performance, but nobody said anything.
Calvin showed up on Tuesday, but there was tension in the air between the two boys and they didn’t hang out between scenes. After rehearsal, Langley approached Jason, “Anything on your mind this week?”
“Yeah, there’s plenty on my mind lately.”
“Are you nervous about opening night or is something else going on?”
Jason wasn’t sure he wanted to discuss specifics with Langley, but his feelings had reached a boiling point. “Well, Calvin and I had a falling-out.”
“Care to talk about it? I’m here to help if I can.”
When Jason started to step to the side for greater privacy, Langley offered, “Let’s go in my office.” The two left the auditorium and sat across from each other in his office, Jason still in his loincloth.
“Calvin found out about that first party I went to when Wayne Phillips played with my body and kissed me.”
“Yes, I heard something about that. I spoke to the host to never let anything like that happen again.”
“Well, Wayne took me out to dinner last Friday and asked me to strip down again, wearing this,” indicating his skimpy costume with the wave of his hand, “and went on to play with my chest again. I felt funny and stopped him almost immediately. But Calvin got annoyed I had let it happen both times and he hasn’t talked to me since.”
“Wow, sounds rough, Jason. I can talk to Wayne if you want so he doesn’t bother you again.”
“No, he’s a nice guy. And I told him this time I have a boyfriend, so I think he’ll leave me alone. I’ll make sure I avoid situations like that. I want my boyfriend back!” Tears came to his eyes.
“I’d like to give you a hug, but I don’t want to give you the wrong idea, dressed the way you are and everything.”
“It’s okay. I appreciate that, but we can skip the hug.”
Langley said, “So, any ideas? What do you think will help with Calvin?”
“All I want is to talk with him. I’ve already told him a hundred times how sorry I am and how stupid I was. I have no idea what he thinks of me or how angry he is. He hasn’t said a word to me other than on-stage since Friday.”
“Yes, I could tell there was some tension.”
“Do you have any ideas?”
“No, unfortunately, nothing comes to mind. The basic issue seems to be trust. He has lost trust in you to be faithful to him. Hopefully, it’s temporary, but once trust is gone, it can be very difficult to recover.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Why did I let myself get so carried away?”
“Well, you’re an extremely attractive young man, Jason, and this role has put you out in public in ways you likely never have been before. I’m not going to apologize, because I thought you knew what you were getting into and signed on for it.”
“No, I’m not blaming you or anyone else. I know I’m on display like never before. It’s been fun, but apparently hazardous to my relationship.” Jason held off any more tears.
“Well, the other thing is the opportunity presented itself, and frankly, sex and the things leading up to it feel good. At your age, you can’t turn that off. It sounds like Mr. Phillips taught you some new sensations with your body and you found it hard to turn down. That’s natural. It won’t be the last time somebody approaches you. It’s up to you how you deal with it though.”
“Yeah, it did feel good, but right now, I feel like I totally handled it wrong.”
“I hope you can work things out with Calvin. From what I’ve seen, you two are good for each other. If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.”
“I appreciate that, sir. Talking about it has helped calm me down.”
“Good, I’m glad. I hope you can focus this week, whether or not things are resolved. I need your best possible performance on Friday.”
“Yes, of course. I need to figure out what to do with Calvin, but I’ll try not to let it interfere with anything else. I received one of my worst grades in math today, so I know I need to get my head on straight.”
“Good. Remember, I’m here for you if you need me.”
The two stood and Jason went over and gave Langley a quick hug, thanked him again and went to finish dressing. He felt as lost as ever, but somehow a little reassured. He didn’t know why.
Chapter 19 – Final Rehearsals
Jason heard through friends Calvin had been upset since Friday, as well. He wasn’t enthusiastic about school, basketball, the play, or anything. He came to rehearsals, did his part, and left at the end. Jason’s performances got better throughout the week by forcing himself to focus and ignore his personal problem for a few hours. Outside of rehearsals, it consumed his thoughts. The more he saw Calvin, the more he longed to be with him.
Rehearsals had been in full costumes for the past three weeks. Actors were smooth in delivering their action and dialog. Writers worked like a tag team, showing up sporadically, because their work was largely complete.
Sally Mackenzie, the stage combat consultant attended two rehearsals towards the end. She raved about what the group had developed and only offered a few suggested tweaks to enhance the realism of the scenes. She told Langley many professional theatrical groups would be proud of the high-quality fight scenes this high school group was portraying.
* * *
During the Tuesday rehearsal, Neil approached the director and suggested he had a new torture that might work for the play. Langley said, “It’s rather late to be considering changes. But what’s your idea?” Neil’s suggestions had generally been incorporated all along.
“I’ve been training some small lizards and I think we could get them to bite lightly on Jason’s nipples during the torture scene and call them baby crocodiles.”
“Oh, that sounds interesting. You think they would do that?”
Neil spoke faster, as Langley showed interest in the idea, “Yes, I think so. It wouldn’t take long to teach them to latch on.”
Jason was listening and was a little concerned, but at this point, he trusted Langley to consider his safety.
Langley said, “We’re only three days from going live. I don’t want to promise anything, but when do you think you could demo this?”
“The lizards are right down in the science classroom, so we could try it out tonight.”
Langley smiled. “That’s convenient. If Jason is okay with it, let’s give it a try.”
Jason was wary, but was open to anything that might he
lp the play. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s see.”
Neil ran to the science classroom and was back in a flash holding two docile-looking lizards. Jason wondered how Neil had been training the lizards, but those concerns evaporated when he pictured them about to be attached to his chest.
Neil walked up to Jason, applied some mysterious clear liquid to his erect nipples, and barely had to coax the lizards to get them to bite on them. Langley encouraged Jason to act like he was in agony and he quivered and grimaced like they were biting much harder than they truly were. Neil beamed at the effect.
Langley watched and said, “It’s an interesting idea, Neil. Timing is the biggest issue.”
One of the writers spoke up and said he would try to work it into the scene.
Most of the other actors had left for the night, so the rest were ready to head home, as well. As Jason headed to the dressing room to change, Neil stammered a little and asked him if he wanted to grab some pizza on the way home. Jason was famished, so he decided to take Neil up on the offer, partly as a distraction. Thinking about Calvin was not producing any possible solutions to his messed-up life. He put his shorts on over the loincloth, slipped on a tank top, and headed out with Neil, who was smiling and walking quickly.
Some people described Neil as scrawny, but he wasn’t as thin as that sounded. As they walked, Neil said, “You must spend a ton of time in the gym.”
“Yeah, generally six days a week. Not so much with the play going on though.”
“I try to avoid it as much as possible. I prefer the science labs and talking with the teachers there. Sometimes I think up experiments at night and try them out the next few days.”
There was a standard pizza joint close to school that students patronized and the boys headed there as an easy choice. They didn’t quite agree on toppings, so they went with the half-and-half option. Neil acted like he was having the time of his life.
Jason praised Neil for his ingenuity, “You sure come up with some creative ideas.”
Neil smiled, “They come to me naturally. I’m not sure why. But I love doing this play with you.”
Jason liked Neil’s enthusiasm, “Oh, thanks. Yeah, it’s been a lot of fun.”
“I look forward to it every day. I hate the weekends when we don’t have any rehearsals.”
Jason was surprised at this passion, “I need the weekends for a break. This has been very intense.”
“Yes, I’m sure, but my part is much smaller.”’
“True.”
Neil looked down at his food. “But there’s nobody I’d rather torture.” He looked up and smiled.
Jason laughed, “That’s one of the more unusual compliments I’ve ever gotten, but thanks, I guess.”
“Can you tell me what’s going through your head with the torture scene?”
“Well, it’s kind of complicated. I know it’s important to the play and I mostly like the reactions to it, but it feels strange.”
“Strange how?” Neil probed.
“I guess people wanting to do me harm, and finding devious ways to do it.”
Neil leaned forward and talked faster. “I like it being as devious as possible. Something that catches Tarak off-guard.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. I might be able to convey that more in the scene.”
“Don’t worry. I would never really harm you, but these simulated tortures seem like the best way to test Tarak. They’re like challenges Tarak must endure.”
“I can see that. Maybe that’s why it appeals to people.”
Neil’s eyes lit up, “It totally appeals to me.”
The boys devoured their pizza. Neil offered to pay for all of it, but they split the bill. As they left, Neil sounded nervous, “Jason, would you ever go out with me?”
“Neil, you’re a great guy, but I’m seeing Calvin right now.”
“Oh, I didn’t want to get in the way of that, but I thought you two had split up.”
“You’re partly right. We’re going through a rough time right now, but I’m hoping we’ll get back together.”
Neil looked down, “Okay, I hope you two can work things out.” Jason didn’t think he sounded completely sincere but he thanked him. As they parted ways to head home, Jason gave Neil a hug and told him he had a good time.
* * *
Thursday night was a full-dress rehearsal with teachers and staff invited, along with their spouses and other people connected to the school district, including the superintendent and school board. The students ran through the play beginning to end without stopping. Not everything worked flawlessly, but it was a good chance to iron out the final kinks.
Jason wasn’t turning in his best performance, but he was doing a good job and wasn’t as low as he had been on Monday and Tuesday. Kissing Julia as Victoria onstage disappeared as an issue and he was able to make it through those scenes easily. Langley cautioned him about looking mechanical, so he had to act like he enjoyed it. Thinking about Calvin helped.
After complimenting everyone on a great final rehearsal, Langley let everyone go home to rest up. The school district officials kept Jason back to talk briefly, praising his performance and requesting autographs. He hadn’t expected that and was flattered. It boosted his confidence about his ability to pull it off on opening night. He was surprised how much at ease he was with all of these people important to the district, but it didn’t matter to him. His number one thought all night was how he could possibly patch things up with Calvin.
* * *
At home, Jason went into Derek’s bedroom, which was unusual. Derek often came to see him or they met up in the den or outside, but Jason didn’t visit his room much. He sat on his bed and asked if they could talk for a minute.
“Sure, what’s up?”
“I have a big favor to ask you. I’ve tried everything to talk to Calvin and just meet with him so many times this week, but he isn’t interested at all. Would you be willing to go to his house and tell him I really, really, really need to talk to him? Even if it’s the last time we ever talk, I can’t leave things like this.”
“Yeah, I can do that. But why would I be any more convincing?”
“He likes you and I just want him to know how serious I am. I have to try something.”
“But I don’t even know what you two are fighting about.”
“You don’t have to. Just tell him I was stupid, I’m totally sorry, and I’ll never do it again.”
“So you did something to make him this angry?”
“Yeah, it was all me, basically. But come on, I don’t want to get into the gory details.”
“Sure. I’d do anything to get you two back together again and get you to stop moping around the house. You’re pathetic.”
“I owe you big time, kid. Bring him back here, if you can, preferably tonight.”
“I’ll see what I can do. I’m such a super persuasive guy.”
“Yeah, you are. Thanks a ton.”
* * *
Derek went over to Calvin’s house and knocked. His mother came to the door, hesitating when she saw the young white boy, but she called Calvin to come downstairs. Calvin stepped outside to talk with him as his mother closed the door and peeked from the window.
“What’s up, Derek?”
“I need you to come talk to Jason. He’s super devasted. Whatever you guys argued about, he said he’s sorry, he was totally stupid, and he won’t do it again.”
“Did he tell you what happened?”
“No, he wouldn’t. I’m only a lowly messenger boy.”
“Hey, you’re not a lowly anything.” Calvin smiled for the first time in a week. “Are you sure those are his words?”
“Yes, of course. He told me to tell you that – sorry…stupid...won’t do it again. I may only be a messenger boy, but I’m a good one.”
Smiling again, Calvin said, “Yes, I know you are. What does he want?”
“He wants you to come back with me and talk.”
Calvin pause
d a long time, foraging through all kinds of emotions in an instant. He wants to be with Jason, he misses him, but can he trust him, does he feel the same way as before, and many more questions. He decided there’s one easy way to obtain answers to all those doubts and questions. “Okay, I’ll come back with you. Let me tell my mom.” Calvin went inside and was back out in half a minute.
Calvin and Derek walked back together talking about Derek’s life – what he liked in school, how classes were going, and whether he had a girlfriend. Derek told him there were a couple girls he was interested in, but no girlfriend. The two kicked stones back and forth along the sidewalk as they walked.
Chapter 20 – The Walk
Jason saw the pair walking towards the house and was thrilled. He was desperate and willing to try anything, but he wasn’t sure sending Derek would work any better than anything else he had tried.
Jason went out to meet them as they arrived. Calvin looked down at the ground, and Derek stood proudly, as if he had delivered buried treasure or victory in a hard-fought battle. Jason gave Derek a quick hug, thanked him, and told him he and Calvin were going to take a walk.
* * *
Jason chose his words, not wanting to mess things up further. “Cal, thank you for seeing me. I’ve missed you so much!”
“I’ve missed you too, but you hurt me.”
“I know, and I’m extremely sorry. It was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. And honestly, I’ve learned my lesson. I won’t do anything like that again. I promise. You mean too much to me.”
“How do I know you mean it? How can I trust you?”
“I don’t know. I’d do anything to get back to the way we were. I’ll give up the play if I have to.”
“You can’t do that now. You’d leave a lot of people hanging.”
“I have an understudy. I’m sure they’d manage somehow. You mean way more to me than this stupid play.”
“Jason, the play isn’t the problem. It’s led to some things, but I also met you because of this play. I would never ask you to give it up, and I don’t want you to.”
They walked towards the park, focused more on their discussion than anything around them. Both were fully clothed this time in shorts, shirt, and sneakers.