Shielding Kinley

by Susan Stoker

  Within a minute, she was too exhausted to do anything but lie in the water. Her breasts heaved up and down in her agitation, and Lefty knew if she wasn’t feeling as horrible as she did, he never would’ve been able to hold her still. For a woman of her height, she was amazingly strong.

  “I know it’s cold, but your body’s too hot, Kins. I have to get you cooled off.”

  “I’ll be good,” she said in a scarily flat, emotionless tone. “I won’t sneak into the kitchen for food again. I promise.”

  Lefty’s body went rigid. What was she talking about?

  “Please. Let me up and you won’t hear a peep from me again. I won’t bother you. Please.”

  “Kinley, you’re with me, Gage. You’re safe. You’re sick, and I’m trying to get your body temperature down.”

  “Don’t hold me under! I’ll be good. I’ll be good!” Now she was whimpering, begging.

  Lefty felt sick at what he was hearing. He didn’t know who had punished her by holding her underwater, but there was no way he could continue to hold her down now. No way in hell.

  He pulled her up on top of him and lay down in the water. This wasn’t as conducive to getting her temperature down, as the water was only lapping at her sides instead of covering her entire body, but he didn’t want her reliving even a second of whatever torture she’d already lived through in her past.

  “Shhhh, you’re safe, Kinley. I’ve got you, hang on to me. That’s it.”

  She shoved her arms under his body and clung to his back as she lay on his chest and trembled. Lefty scooped water up with his hands and did his best to cool her down. He did that for about five minutes, then couldn’t stand the shaking any longer, and he simply wrapped his arms around her and held her against his body. She was practically naked, and he was still fully dressed, but all he felt was gentle affection and worry for the woman in his arms.

  “If I could trade places with you, I would,” he whispered.

  To his surprise, she shook her head. “No. I wouldn’t wish my life on anyone.”

  He forced himself to stay in the tub for another five minutes or so. When Kinley’s body finally stopped shivering, and she lay quietly on his chest, he took a deep breath, knowing he needed to move.

  Getting out of the tub was harder than getting in. Kinley was no help, she was practically comatose, but her skin felt cooler. He gently placed her on the rug on the floor after he’d climbed out of the tub with her in his arms. He quickly stripped off his soaking-wet clothes, leaving them in a heap on the floor. Striding naked back into his room, he pulled on a pair of boxers and a T-shirt, and then grabbed one of his gray Army shirts from a drawer for Kinley.

  He took the time to strip the bed and change the sheets. Now that she was a little cleaner than she’d been when he’d first brought her into his room, he wanted her to go back to sleep on freshly laundered sheets.

  When he returned to the bathroom, Kinley hadn’t moved from where he’d left her, and the sight of her lying completely still wasn’t a good one. He knelt next to her and felt for her pulse, relieved when he felt it, slow and strong. He towel-dried her as best he could, then awkwardly got his shirt over her head. He quickly removed her bra before it could soak the shirt he’d just gotten on her.

  Knowing he needed to remove her wet underwear, he closed his eyes and gently tugged the cotton over her hips and thighs. In any other circumstance, it might’ve been sensual; when she was sick and hurting, it was anything but.

  That done, he pulled his shirt down, covering her, then he knelt and picked Kinley up once more. She helped a little this time, putting her arms around his neck and holding on when he stood.

  Lefty gently placed her on his bed and pulled the covers back up and over her. She sighed and turned onto her side, pulling her legs up into a fetal position.

  How long Lefty sat on the side of the bed and watched her sleep, he had no idea. All he knew was that it felt right having her there. He hated that she was so sick, but he couldn’t deny that he liked having her in his bed.

  Knowing he needed to get some food into her—he had no idea when she’d last eaten—Lefty forced himself to stand. Before he left the room, he ran the backs of his fingers down her cheek and whispered, “Whatever’s wrong, I’m gonna fix it, Kins. I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you needed me, but I’m here now.”

  The woman on the bed didn’t respond, but that was all right. He was really talking more to himself anyway.

  Kinley swallowed, and it felt as if she’d been sucking on cotton balls. She didn’t understand why her mouth was so dry and why every muscle in her body hurt. Without opening her eyes, she tried to remember why she felt so crappy, but came up empty.

  She’d obviously been sick, she recalled not feeling that great, but couldn’t pinpoint exactly what had happened recently.

  Opening her eyes, she froze.

  She didn’t recognize where she was. It wasn’t her apartment back in DC, that was for sure.

  And just like that, her memory kicked in.

  She’d left DC because someone had tried to push her in front of the Metro. She’d driven to Texas, only to find that Gage wasn’t there. She’d been sleeping in her car, waiting for him to get back from whatever mission he’d been on, and…and nothing. Everything after was a blank.

  She did remember meeting Gillian, and spending a few days hanging out with her, but one morning, she’d felt so bad that she hadn’t gone over to the apartment complex. She’d decided to just stay in her car in the parking lot of the factory she’d found.

  And now…now what? Where was she? What day was it?

  Rubbing her forehead, Kinley tried to remember something, anything, with no luck.

  Hearing a noise, she sat up and scooted back on the bed. The quick movement left her swaying where she sat. The room spun, and she thought for a second she was going to pass out. By sheer force of will, she made herself stay upright and kept her eyes glued on the door across the room.

  Taking a deep breath, she realized she recognized the underlying smell in the air seconds before the door opened quietly and Gage appeared. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants and an old T-shirt. He hadn’t shaved for several days and his eyes were bloodshot. He was carrying a bowl and concentrating on not spilling it as he walked toward the bed.

  He stopped when he finally looked up and realized she was staring at him.

  “Kins?” he asked gently.

  Kinley swallowed hard and nodded.

  “Are you awake? Really awake?”

  It was an odd question. She was sitting up and looking at him. “Yes.”

  Gage carefully walked over and set the bowl on the table next to the bed. Then he brought a hand up and placed it on her forehead. She shivered at the feel of him touching her.

  “You feel cooler.”

  “Cooler than what?” she asked in confusion. Then other things slowly sank into her consciousness. She was in what had to be his room, in his bed…and she wasn’t wearing anything but a T-shirt. The covers on the bed were in absolute disarray and the room was a disaster. There was random clothing all over the floor, and she saw a few towels here and there. A couple of mugs sat on the table next to the bowl he’d just put down.

  She licked her dry lips. “What am I doing here?”

  He frowned. “You don’t remember?”

  Kinley shook her head.

  “What do you remember?”

  “Being in my car,” she told him.

  His frown deepened. “That’s it?”

  “Yeah. When did you get back?”

  “Three days ago.”

  “What?”

  “I got back three days ago,” he repeated. “I came home, slept for about eight hours straight, got a call from Trigger, and I spoke with Gillian, who was worried sick about you since she hadn’t seen you in two days. The guys and I fanned out, found you in your car, and I brought you back here. You’ve been sick with a fever for forty-eight hours. This is the first time I think you’ve
actually been coherent.”

  Kinley stared at him in disbelief. “You took care of me?” she asked.

  Misunderstanding why she was asking, Gage looked uncomfortable. “Gillian came over a couple of times, but you were pretty out of it. I’m sorry about…um…” He gestured to her body with his hand. “I had to undress you because you were burning up with fever, and I had to get it down. Then you threw up. I wasn’t quick enough to get you to the bathroom, so I had to change your shirt. But I swear I was more interested in getting you warm and covered than in checking out your naked bits.”

  Kinley stared at Gage with wide eyes. It was impossible to process everything she was hearing. “You took care of me?” she said again.

  “Yeah,” Gage said, looking worried, probably because she was repeating herself. “You were adamant that you didn’t want to go to the doctor. Trigger told me I was being stupid, that you could get brain damage if your fever didn’t break, but I knew you had to have a good reason not to want to go to the emergency room. But I have to tell you, Kins, if your fever hadn’t broken last night, I was going to take you, and we’d have dealt with the consequences later. You scared me, sweetheart.”

  Kinley’s head was spinning. She had a lot to tell Gage about why she was there in the first place. What she’d witnessed in Paris, and why she didn’t want to leave any kind of electronic trail Drake Stryker or Walter Brown could use to find her…but at the moment, she couldn’t get the fact that Gage had actually taken care of her when she was sick out of her mind.

  Tears formed in her eyes and spilled over her cheeks. She didn’t make a move to wipe them away, kept her gaze on Gage. “I can’t believe you took care of me.”

  He sat on the bed, his brow furrowed. “You were sick, Kins. Really sick.”

  “No one’s taken care of me when I’ve been sick before.”

  “Well, other than being puked on, it wasn’t exactly a hardship,” he said with a smile.

  Kinley shook her head. “You don’t understand. No one’s ever taken care of me when I’ve been sick.” She knew she was repeating herself, but she wasn’t sure how to make him understand. “The first time I remember being really sick, I was in elementary school. I think I had the flu. My foster mom freaked out and told me that she didn’t have time to deal with a houseful of sick kids, so she told me to stay in my room and not come out until I was better. She brought me some crackers and water, but otherwise I was on my own.”

  A muscle in Gage’s jaw ticked. He reached out and put a hand on the side of her face, brushing away a tear with his thumb, but he didn’t speak.

  “When I was a teenager, I remember being sick again, and just like before, I had to deal with it myself. My foster family was going on vacation, and they didn’t want to cancel because I was sick, so they left me home while they continued with their plans.”

  “They left you home alone when you were sick to go on vacation?”

  Kinley shrugged. “I wasn’t really a member of their family and was old enough to take care of myself. They’d been planning the trip for months. I understood.”

  “Well, I don’t. That’s bullshit! It was abuse.” He looked like he wanted to say something else, but he pressed his lips together unhappily.

  “What?”

  “You gave me the impression that you weren’t abused when you were in foster care.”

  “I wasn’t,” Kinley said, reaching up to wipe her tears away. “Not really. Not like a lot of kids were.”

  Gage caught her hand in his and brought it up to his mouth and kissed the palm before lowering it. Kinley’s heart leapt in her chest but she kept her gaze on his.

  “You truly don’t remember anything from the last few days?”

  Kinley shrugged. “Flashes here and there.”

  “Like what?” Gage pressed.

  Kinley took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to remember. “Being really cold. Then hot. Being thirsty, and how much my stomach hurt when I was throwing up.”

  “Look at me, Kinley.”

  She opened her eyes and stared into his dark brown gaze. She felt guilty all over again when she really noticed how tired Gage looked.

  “You aren’t alone anymore,” he said firmly. “I’m sorry you had such shitty examples of parenting. Even though you were a foster kid, those families did wrong by you. Leaving you alone, locking you in your room, excluding you from their family activities…it was abuse.” He shook his head when she opened her mouth to protest. “You are an amazing woman, and now that I know some of what you’ve overcome, I’m even more impressed. But your time of being on your own is done. It might’ve taken twenty-nine years for you to find your people, but you have now.”

  Kinley frowned at him. She didn’t understand.

  “I’m your people,” Gage told her. “And Gillian. Trigger, Brain, Oz, Lucky, Doc, and Grover too. You came to Texas for a reason, one we’ll get to after you’ve eaten, maybe showered, and when you feel comfortable. You will never suffer through being sick alone again. I don’t care if it’s just a cold. You’ve got people here to care about you, who’ll bend over backward to make sure you’re all right. Understand?”

  Kinley shook her head. No, she didn’t understand. Not at all. “I don’t even know them.”

  “They know you. Who you are in here,” Gage said, resting his hand on her upper chest.

  She knew he’d be able to feel her heart beating wildly in her chest, but she didn’t pull away. It was as if they were in an intimate little bubble and nothing between them was awkward or weird.

  “Gillian was distraught when she didn’t see you for so long. She loved hanging out with you, said you even helped her out a lot with her business and haggling over price.”

  “It wasn’t a big deal,” Kinley protested.

  “To her it was.”

  “Honestly, Gage. We didn’t really do anything. I just sat on her couch and read one of her books she let me borrow. We didn’t even talk much.”

  “Don’t you get it?” Gage asked. “That’s why she likes you. Because you’re calming. Because you came into her life and just fit. Did it feel awkward to sit next to each other for hours without talking? Just reading?”

  Kinley shook her head.

  “Right. Because you were being yourself, and you let Gillian be herself. And Trigger already knew a lot about you from me, but after hearing how much Gillian liked you, your place in his life is solidified. The other guys have been calling and messaging nonstop asking how you are, if you’re better, if we need anything. You didn’t get any of my texts or emails, did you?”

  Kinley blinked at the change of subject. She frowned and shook her head.

  “Right. The guys all knew how upset I was when I’d thought you’d blown me off again, but the second they heard that your phone had been destroyed, they all understood you probably didn’t even get most of my messages. Not to mention the fact that it’s obvious you’re in trouble, and by not answering any of my texts, you did what you could to keep that trouble from showing up on my doorstep.”

  At his uncanny insight, Kinley blanched.

  “No, don’t freak,” Gage ordered, reading her reaction correctly. “Breathe, Kins,” Gage said, bringing his hands up to her face and forcing her to look at him. “You said a lot of stuff that didn’t make sense during your fever, but the mere fact that you’re here and sleeping in your car said a lot without you having to say a word. Why did you come to Texas, Kinley?”

  “It was on my way?”

  “Wrong. Try again,” Gage said sternly.

  Kinley closed her eyes. She felt off kilter and naked, and not just because she was sitting in Gage’s bed wearing only one of his T-shirts.

  “Look at me, Kins.”

  She reluctantly opened her eyes.

  “Why’d you come to me?”

  And that was the crux of the issue. She’d come to Texas, but more than that, she’d gone straight to Gage. She knew he’d help her. Even though her being near him was p
utting him in danger, she’d still run straight to him. She’d already decided to trust him, and she needed to suck it up and be brave for once in her life. “Because you’re my only friend, and I knew you’d help me.”

  “Damn straight,” Gage said with an odd tone in his voice. “Whatever’s wrong, I’m going to fix it. But I’m not your only friend. You’ve got Gillian and the rest of my team. I know this will be a hard thing to get used to, but you’re not alone anymore. You get the sniffles and need some tissues and don’t feel like going to the store, you call one of us. Your toilet overflows and you need a plunger, call. You simply want someone to sit quietly in the same room while you read a book, call. Understand?”

  Kinley licked her lips and shook her head.

  Gage smiled. “You will. I brought you some soup in the hopes that I could somehow get you to eat. But it’s even better that you’re coherent again. You hungry?”

  “I think I want to know what I said when I was out of it.”

  He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter what you said when you were out of your mind with a fever. What matters is that you’re here. You came to me for help, and for a man like me, that says more than words ever could.”

  “A man like you?” Kinley asked.

  “Yeah. Now, you want to go to the bathroom before you eat?”

  Kinley was frustrated. She needed Gage to understand that her being here was putting him in danger. It seemed like a good idea to come to Texas when she’d been driving aimlessly across the country, but she was having second thoughts now.

  “Kinley, concentrate. Bathroom or food?”

  “Bathroom,” she said automatically.

  Gage smiled. “Come on, then. I’ll get you a clean T-shirt to put on and while you’re in the bathroom, I’ll change the sheets. Your fever finally broke last night and you sweated all over everything. No—don’t get embarrassed. I was fucking thrilled because it meant you were getting better, and I wouldn’t have to resort to the emergency room.”

  He pulled back the covers and Kinley awkwardly pulled down the T-shirt she was wearing to cover her private bits. But like a gentleman, Gage turned his head, not looking until he was sure she was standing. Then he walked with her to the bathroom.