A Sweet Mess

by Jayci Lee

  “Landon, you’re an idiot if you can’t see that Aubrey loves you,” Aria said.

  “I know. She told me before she left,” he replied.

  “And you still let her leave? How could you be so stupid?” Aria threw her hands up in the air and muttered something rapidly in her native tongue.

  “Letting her go was for the best.” Landon wanted to run from the doubt seeping into him. “She wouldn’t listen to reason. We’ve both worked too hard to lose everything now.”

  “I agree with my fiancée,” Lucien said. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

  Landon was starting to get annoyed at being called an idiot. He couldn’t believe these were his friends. Traitors.

  “Please close the door on your way out,” he said politely and lay back down.

  21

  Tara pampered her for the first few days, letting her sleep and cry all day. But Aubrey knew the pampering was over when Tara plopped a trayful of food in front of her.

  “Eat. It’s your favorite, chicken jook. You know my jook is magic. One bowl of this stuff and you’ll keep on going like the Energizer Bunny. And when you’re done eating, call my mom and thank her for teaching me how to cook Korean food.”

  The steaming bowl of porridge brought more tears to Aubrey’s eyes. Aubrey was touched by Tara’s kindness, but she shook her head. “I can’t.”

  “Do you want me to bring you a straw so you can drink the damn thing?” Tara said with a steely light in her eyes. “You’d better eat and get your strength back, because I sure as hell am not going to carry you to your ob-gyn appointment.”

  Aubrey’s face blanched at Tara’s words. “What? How? I didn’t have a chance to tell you.”

  “You were so emotional the last few times we talked, and you’ve been throwing up at least twice a day since I brought you home. And honestly, your grapefruit-sized boobs are hard to ignore. So unless you got a boob job in Bosque Verde, my guess is you’re pregnant.” Tara’s expression softened. “I don’t know what happened between you and Landon, but you need to pull yourself together. You need to eat for the little munchkin’s sake.”

  Pressing her lips together in a determined line, Aubrey nodded and dug into the chicken jook. The first bite was all it took to remind her she was starving. After two bowls of the piping-hot porridge, they made their way to the doctor’s office.

  The doctor said she was about twelve weeks along and a month overdue for her first ultrasound. As he performed the exam, he explained what they were seeing and hearing. Like the baby’s heartbeat. It thundered from the speaker like a thoroughbred mustang, and Aubrey choked back a sob.

  “It’s the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard,” she whispered, too reverent to speak any louder. She spread her fingers on her tummy and listened to the life inside her.

  “Bree, your jelly bean sounds like a choo-choo train,” Tara said, her voice husky from tears. “Her whole tiny body is pulsing with her heart.”

  “I know. I can’t stop staring.” Aubrey traced her fingers over Jelly Bean’s image. “I’m a mom, Tara. I have a little person growing inside me.”

  “A little girl,” her friend corrected. “I bet you she’s a girl.”

  “Well, your next ultrasound is at the four-month mark,” said the doctor. “Would you like to know the sex of the baby then?”

  “Yes. Yes, please.” Aubrey thought her heart was going to burst. For a moment, she wished Landon could’ve been there, laughing and crying beside her. The pain of his absence stole her breath until she looked at her baby again.

  She felt weightless with joy and paralyzed with fear. Who wouldn’t be anxious about being a single mother? But she could do this. Aubrey couldn’t wait to share her dreams with her child. They would make mistakes together, learn together, and laugh together. They would live to the fullest together. Me and you, Jelly Bean, are going to be a family.

  “Is she real?” Aubrey said through her tears. “I can’t believe she’s really inside of me.”

  “She’s so beautiful,” Tara sighed, choking up with emotion again.

  The doctor waited with a polite smile on his face for them to stop blubbering. He probably saw a lot of blubbering in his line of work. “Is this the first baby for the two of you?”

  They paused mid-bawl and gaped at the doctor and then turned back to look at each other. When Tara wiggled her eyebrows at her, Aubrey burst out laughing.

  Before the good doctor sent for their straitjackets, Tara grinned at him. “While that’s really flattering, I’m just standing in for the baby daddy.”

  Hearing the word daddy almost pushed Aubrey into another sobbing fit, but she pressed her lips together.

  Don’t you worry, Jelly Bean. No more crying for Mama. I’m here for you, love.

  * * *

  Aubrey wouldn’t have noticed the passing of time if it weren’t for her growing belly. At five months, she was showing a respectable baby bump that her loose dresses couldn’t hide anymore. Jelly Bean was doing fabulously, and Aubrey was a proud mama.

  Thanks to the reality show renovation team Aria had rallied for her, the bigger, badder Comfort Zone was customer-ready literally two weeks after Aubrey came home. She freed herself from the blackhole of heartbreak after her first ultrasound, and threw herself into Comfort Zone’s big comeback. Tireless in her generosity, Aria continued to support the reopening by posting about Comfort Zone’s makeover and renovation progress on her blog.

  With the new location and the hype Aria helped create, the bakery regained its out-of-town and online customers within a month of its grand reopening, while her regulars continued to be her loyal customers. Aubrey and Lily worked themselves to the bones during the first month, but couldn’t keep up with the demand.

  Even after the success of the opening month, the future of Comfort Zone remained uncertain. Still, Aubrey followed her instincts and chose to take a risk. She hired a sous chef, and it was one of the best decisions she’d ever made in her life. If Aubrey hadn’t taken the risk, she would never have known how much and how fast Comfort Zone could’ve grown.

  Now at the two-month mark, business was booming, and the daily bustle in the bakery electrified the air with spices and excitement. While her heart ached for Landon every time their daughter kicked in her growing belly, Aubrey was so proud of what she’d accomplished.

  “How does this look?” Justine stared down at the whoopie pie in her hands. The humble dessert had been dressed to the nines with rolling blue ribbons and edible silver beads sprinkled across it.

  “I’d lose the fondant ribbons and the bling-bling,” Aubrey said, smiling at her sous chef.

  “What? Just leave it plain?” she said with a doubtful expression. “But it’d look so plain.”

  “Exactly. A customer looking at the familiar appearance will expect the familiar texture and flavor. The chewy texture of the chestnut and sweet rice cake center will take them by complete surprise the moment they bite into the whoopie pie. It’ll be a multisensory culinary experience.”

  “Wow. You’re like a baked goods genius,” Justine gushed and stared at her with dreamy eyes. Aubrey blushed, equal parts pleased and embarrassed.

  She’d known Justine was the one even though she was only number three on her interview list. At barely twenty-one, Justine didn’t have much practical experience, but she was a graduate of a prestigious cooking school, and Aubrey was truly humbled that someone with her potential wanted to work for her. Most important, Justine loved to bake. Her enthusiasm for her craft rivaled Aubrey’s love of all things sweet and baked.

  They worked incredibly well together in the kitchen, as comfortably and naturally as breathing. They moved seamlessly through each recipe, assisting and complementing each other without having to ask or instruct. Aubrey often thought they were twins separated at birth despite the fact she was seven years older than Justine, who was a svelte, five-foot-eleven redhead.

  Everything worked out so beautifully with her sous chef that Aubrey w
as even able to hire a full-time cashier/server for the front as Lily began her new role as her apprentice. With more of her time freed up, Aubrey continued to create new recipes, and she planned to introduce the strawberry shortcake as a seasonal special in late spring. She stretched her back and cringed for the umpteenth time that afternoon. Her twelve-hour shifts were getting harder by the week.

  “You’ve been doing that a lot lately,” Justine said.

  “Doing what?”

  Lily rolled her eyes. “Grabbing your back and scrunching up your face like the Grinch.”

  “Gee, thanks. You try carrying an extra fifteen pounds on a five-foot-two frame. My back literally feels like it’s breaking by this time of the day.”

  “You know,” her sous chef said hesitantly, “Lily and I could manage the kitchen till we close.”

  “What? But…,” Aubrey said with a confused frown.

  “With all due respect, Justine is trying to tell you we don’t need you here every minute of the day.”

  “Lily!” Justine gasped, shooting an alarmed glance at Aubrey. “Please don’t get the wrong idea. Having you here is the best because you literally make every bake more amazing. But it’s hard for us to watch you working through your pain.”

  “Yeah, what she said. We have it under control here,” Lily said, softening her voice at Aubrey’s stunned expression. “You need to take care of yourself and the baby. Just work eight hours like normal people for a while.”

  She was so touched by her colleagues’ considerate words that a sob escaped her mouth, and she grabbed one of them in each arm and hugged the air out of them. “You guys are so incredible. Thank you for worrying about me.”

  “Does that mean you’ll go home?” Lily asked in a breathless rasp.

  “Yes. I really need to get off my feet.”

  After fussing and saying good-bye for twenty more minutes, Aubrey finally drove to her little cottage. It felt strange entering her house with the midday sun streaming through the windows. She didn’t think she’d ever come home in the middle of a workday.

  Aubrey was dead on her feet, but she had the wherewithal to grab herself a carton of Ben & Jerry’s before plopping down on the sofa. She put her feet up on the coffee table and played her favorite playlist. Being home so early felt like she was playing hooky, and she let the goofy fun times roll.

  Digging into her Cherry Garcia, she belted out eighties’ tunes at the top of her lungs in between bites. She almost missed the knocking at the door during her rendition of “Take on Me.” Aubrey wiggled her butt to the edge of the couch before she hefted herself to standing with a grunt. Getting out of a chair was going to get very difficult in a few more weeks.

  When she pulled open her front door, her jaws dropped and dangled from their hinges.

  “Hello, baby.”

  Her mom stood on her front porch with two small suitcases by her feet. Aubrey didn’t hesitate. She launched herself into her mom’s arms and held her tightly. She had no intention of wasting any more time to close the gap between them. With a sound between a sob and a laugh, her mom hugged her back, being careful not to squish her granddaughter.

  “Mom. What are you doing here?” she said, picking up one of the bags and tugging her mother into the house.

  “I left your father. He forbade me to help you. Ha! My baby is having a baby, and he tells me I can’t help? I won’t let anyone keep me from you.” Her mom dragged in a shaky breath, straightening her shoulders. “I stayed away these few years because you needed to make your own way. But now, you need my help even if you don’t know it. I’m not letting you do this alone.”

  “Thank God,” Aubrey said with a heartfelt sigh.

  The everything will be fine mantra Aubrey had been hypnotizing herself with flickered and showed its cracks. She’d been doing this on her own, but it hadn’t been easy. She was constantly afraid, sad, and so alone. But not anymore. She didn’t have to do it alone. Her mom was with her to love her and take care of her. The relief liquified her knees, and she sank onto the nearest sofa.

  “I’m here, baby. Everything is going to be fine.” Her mom sat down beside her and enfolded her into a warm, healing hug, and Aubrey sighed into her arms. “If your father dares come between us, I’ll expose his secret overseas accounts.”

  “I’ve always thought the Korean markets were a front for something more sinister, but overseas accounts?”

  “Your father is very good at keeping secrets, so I don’t know the details either. All I know is it involves powerful politicians in Korea and possibly money laundering.”

  “Money laundering?” Aubrey gasped. She’d known her father was a scoundrel, but finding out he was a hard criminal shocked her to the core and destroyed any lingering hopes for a reunion.

  “Before I left, I broke one of his passwords. I was afraid to take any photos on my cell phone, so I copied out as many account numbers as I could.”

  “Wow. So this is the real you.” Aubrey giggled and hugged her again. “You’re a total badass.”

  “Yeah,” her mom said as though she were savoring the thought. “You and I both. We get that from Grandma.”

  Aubrey’s laughter was smothered by a yawn she couldn’t hold back.

  “Why don’t you go take a nap? I’ll keep myself busy.”

  “Busy?” She quirked her eyebrow. “There isn’t much to do in the house except to settle in. That sage-colored room straight ahead? You could use that room. It’s a bit cramped with all my cook books and baking toys, but the bed’s comfy and cozy.”

  “I’m sure it’ll be perfect.”

  Her mom kissed her on the forehead and headed to her room. After another huge, teary yawn Aubrey shuffled her slippered feet to bed. One of her pregnancy superpowers was to fall asleep the moment her head hit the pillow. Even the happiness and anticipation of having her mom with her didn’t diminish her power.

  * * *

  When Aubrey’s eyes opened to a dusky room, she remembered hearing her grandma singing in her dream. She swung her feet to the floor and then paused, struggling to get her bearings. Her house smelled just like Grandma’s. Confusion marring her forehead, Aubrey padded out to the living room, following the aroma. She stopped in her tracks when she reached the kitchen.

  “Mom?”

  Her mom was wearing a slim pair of jeans and a pullover with her hair tied loosely at the base of her neck. She looked younger and more relaxed than Aubrey had ever seen her. And she was baking. Linda Choi did not bake.

  “Hi, sweetie. My St. John’s suit felt like a weighted vest, so I borrowed one of your sweatshirts.” Her mom blushed as she glanced down at herself. “I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Of course not. I’m glad we wear similar sizes. You can borrow anything you need. I made the switch to maternity clothes a few weeks ago,” Aubrey said, tugging on the stretchy material at her tummy. The stomach panel was made of a magical material that stretched way out and supported the bump without squeezing it. “These leggings are crazy comfortable; I don’t think I’ll ever wear regular tights again.”

  “Oh, my baby. You’re so beautiful,” Mom said, going to Aubrey and place her hand on her stomach. Sniffling away her tears, she tested the secret panel and whistled. “Wow. I wish they’d had those when I was pregnant with you.”

  Aubrey beamed at her, warmed by the shared moment, and her mom ushered her to the table, bustling around with joyous energy. Soon, a small feast lay before her.

  “This looks amazing, Mom.” Aubrey lowered her head, close enough to feel the steam coming off the goodies, and breathed in heaven. “The kitchen smells exactly like Grandma’s. I had no idea you knew how to bake.”

  “It’s been so long, you might break a tooth on that biscotto.”

  “Oh, my God.” Aubrey’s words were muffled because she was stuffing another bite of said biscotto into her mouth.

  Jelly Bean loved the almond biscotto and fluttered in her tummy. It was perfection. So were the lemon bars and sticky
buns. Aubrey was too stuffed to try the cherry upside-down cake, but she knew it would taste just like Grandma’s.

  Her mom sat across from her and fiddled with her fork. “You’ve always been braver than I have.”

  Aubrey stared at her with a mouthful of lemon bars. Even if she could speak, she wouldn’t know what to say. This new mom not only knew how to bake a mean biscotto, she’d just initiated the Big Talk. She was going to stick with staring for now.

  “I was very young when I met your dad, and I never got over the feeling that he was way out of my league. The more I fell in love with him, the more afraid I became of losing him.” Linda glanced down at her hands and took a shuddering breath. “I was only twenty-four when I first found out about your father’s dalliances. I confronted him, and he wept at my feet. He promised it would never happen again, but it did.”

  “Why didn’t you leave?” The question that had been burning at the back of her throat for years broke free in a fragile whisper.

  “I did, but I only stayed with your grandma for a few weeks before I went back to your father.” Her mom lifted her gaze and bit her trembling lips.

  Then Aubrey knew, and it felt like a punch in the gut. Her mom had her when she was twenty-five. “You found out you were pregnant. You went back because of me.”

  “That’s what I told myself. That I went back and stayed with your father for you.” Tears were streaming unchecked down her mom’s pale cheeks. “But that’s not true. I was afraid of being alone, of struggling to provide for you. I had already lost myself by then. I was a scared shadow of my old self with no hopes or dreams of my own. I used the pregnancy as an excuse to go back.”

  “Mom.”

  “Let me finish. You need to hear this. I need to say this.” She wiped her face with her palms and straightened her back. “I know I wasn’t there for you. I shut everyone out, drowning in my nightmare. I failed you. I failed myself. I know I could never make it up to you, but I have to try. Will you let me?”