A Sweet Mess

by Jayci Lee

  “Close your mouth.”

  Seth’s wry words brought him back to earth, and Landon turned toward him, failing miserably to wipe the bliss off his face.

  “I think you drooled a little, too. Here, let me wipe it off,” his brother said, reaching out with his thumb.

  “Watch it, kid. I’m your hyung. Show me some respect.” Landon pushed away his hand with a huff of laughter. “Or I’m confiscating the cookies.”

  “Not cool, man.” He managed to look injured before he stuffed a whole cookie in his mouth. “Not. Cool.”

  “I asked you to put those on the picnic table, not hoard them for yourself.” Aubrey stood across from Seth, eight months’ pregnant, with her fists placed firmly on her hips. “Besides, you have to save room for Landon’s tri-tips and gal-bi.”

  “I’ll take them there right now.” His hotshot photographer brother rose to his feet, smiling sheepishly. He apparently would do anything for Aubrey, even give up his precious cookies.

  “Thanks for putting up with my bossiness.”

  “You? Bossy?” Seth widened his eyes, shaking his head vehemently. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Enough,” Landon said, laughing at Seth hamming it up for Aubrey. “Go put the cookies where they belong.”

  Seth swaggered off with a wide grin, heading toward the far table where Tara stood. Landon had caught his brother watching her with his mouth gaping and had felt a brief pang of concern. Seth had a reputation as a player, but Tara was in a league of her own. He shook his head. It was none of his business.

  “Take a break, sweetheart.” Landon tugged Aubrey down onto his lap and cradled her in his arms.

  “Not you, too,” she groaned. “Everyone keeps telling me to sit down. All I’ve done is take breaks. Now let me up before your mom sees us.”

  “My mom isn’t that old-fashioned.” He kissed her forehead and settled her more comfortably on his legs.

  “You’re right.” She sighed and finally relaxed against him, her head falling to his shoulder. “I love how she sees beauty in the most mundane objects. Maybe that’s why her paintings are so stunning.”

  “It’s great to have our family and friends over, but please don’t tire yourself out. The baby’s coming in a few weeks.”

  “That’s precisely why we’re having this barbecue today. Besides, our moms won’t let me lift a finger.” She tilted her head to smile up at him and cupped his cheek with a warm hand. “You know I wanted to share our home with everyone before it’s turned upside down by a tiny baby and two clueless parents.”

  “I know.”

  Aubrey was mostly teasing, but Landon’s stomach dropped a little. She was going to be a wonderful mom, but he had no idea how to be a father. One thing was certain. He would always be there for his little girl and love her unconditionally.

  “I guess I’m just jealous of sharing you,” he said.

  She blushed, smiling shyly, and Landon couldn’t help but lean down and kiss her. It was meant to be soft and chaste, but she whimpered and pressed against him when he tried to pull back. Well, then. He parted her lips with his tongue and drank his fill until he was ready to carry her to their room.

  “Ahem.” He heard the sound from a distance. “Kids, please.”

  Aubrey pulled back with a gasp, and Landon glared at Tara, who just rolled her eyes at him.

  “I’d tell you guys to get a room, but we need you to provide us with more delicious food. In the meantime, cool it just a bit. My parents have been staring at that fence since your lips touched. They’re not as with the times as your moms.”

  “Would you please keep her company while I start the grill?” Aubrey had her face buried in her hands, and Landon carefully placed her on his seat as he stood. He grinned at Tara, unable to regret the kiss. “And just as a heads-up, she’s been climbing up the kitchen counter and every other slippery high surface in the house. She’s nesting and wants to clean everything.”

  “Stop crazy pregnant woman from going splat on the floor. Got it.” Tara gave him a thumbs-up and took the seat next to Aubrey, who had finally come out of hiding to glare at the two of them.

  “Ladies.” With a slight nod, Landon left Aubrey in Tara’s capable hands to cook for the most important people in his life.

  * * *

  Their guests had cleared out after erasing all traces of the backyard barbecue despite Aubrey’s and Landon’s protests. With no dishes and cleaning left for them, Aubrey let him pull her down onto the sofa for a foot massage. She had a ticklish spot he was tempted to press, but her swollen feet needed some serious ministrations.

  “Mmm. That feels so good.” She sighed softly as her eyes fluttered closed. “Thank you.”

  “It’s what I’m here for,” he said, wishing he could do more to ease her pregnancy aches and pains. It wasn’t fair she had to do all the work to bring their child into the world. He felt pretty useless.

  “You have other uses.” She opened one eye, and a naughty grin spread across her face.

  He laughed till his sides hurt even as he grew hard remembering his other uses. As his mirth receded, he was certain it was the right time.

  “How tired are you?” he asked, scanning her face for signs of fatigue.

  “Normal preggers tired. Why?”

  “Do you want to take a drive?” His heart throbbed in his throat.

  “Sure.” She arched an eyebrow. “What are you up to?”

  “Nothing. Why should I be up to anything?” Oh, I’m up to something, all right.

  After making sure she was bundled up and toasty, he eased his car out of their driveway with one hand on the wheel at ten o’clock and the other on two o’clock. His breath threatened to grow shallow, and blood pounded in his ears.

  “Is everything okay? You’re acting strange.”

  “Of course. Why wouldn’t everything be okay?” Perfect. I’ll just keep answering her questions with questions of my own. Because that isn’t suspicious at all. “We’ll be there in ten minutes. Just hang on, okay?”

  “Hmm.”

  Aubrey still looked puzzled when he parked outside the unlit building. Landon felt light-headed and slightly nauseous, so she was in better shape than he was.

  “Where are we?” she whispered as they walked into the building, and he turned on every light switch he passed.

  He dragged in a shuddering breath. “Well, I’m hoping we’re at my future restaurant.”

  “Your restaurant?” She gasped beside him, placing a hand on her belly. “When? How?”

  “When I decided to bring you home, or die trying, I knew I had to stop running away from what matters most to me. I’ve been looking for a restaurant space since then.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me? I thought you needed more time to take the leap, and I didn’t want to pressure you by asking about your plans.”

  “I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t sure I could really do this. But when I saw this space, everything fell into place. I am doing this.” He grasped both her hands in his own. “What do you think? Do you like it?”

  She spun in a slow circle, taking in the spacious open kitchen and the intimate but not-too-crowded seating area. “Is that a garden out back?”

  “Yeah, and I’m going to section off a part of it for an outdoor dining area.” Eager to show her, he tugged her toward the garden, turning on the outdoor lights. “Remember the restaurant in Cambria? It won’t be elaborate as that, but I loved the feeling of being surrounded by nature while we ate.”

  “Of course I remember. That sounds wonderful.” Aubrey paused, and he waited for the but, unable to breathe. “But are you sure you don’t want to start off somewhere hipper? Like Santa Monica or Venice? That crowd would line up around the block to try the Landon Kim’s cooking.”

  “I don’t want to cater to that sort of crowd. They would treat the restaurant like a reality TV show. Can the food critic actually cook? Or will he eat his words?” He cringed with distaste. “I w
ant to run a restaurant here for the locals. But most importantly, I want to be close to you and the baby. Close to home.”

  “Oh, Landon.” Aubrey held his face between her hands and rose on her toes to kiss him. “This is perfect. I’m so proud of you.”

  He pulled her into his arms, grateful for her love and support, but he needed one more important answer from her. Holding her gaze for strength, he knelt down on one knee.

  “You’ve already given me so much happiness, but I can’t help but want more. Will you make me the luckiest man in the world and be my wife?” She stared open-mouthed at the engagement ring he held out to her. Panic ran across his heart at her silence. “It doesn’t have to be right away. We could wait as long as you need. I could hold on to the ring until you’re ready.”

  “You have much to learn, Grasshopper,” Aubrey said, her smile tremulous and radiant. “We’re having the wedding next week if I have my way. Your bachelor days are so over.”

  He stayed kneeling, holding the ring in front of him like an idiot. Is that a yes?

  “Landon Kim, I love you. Yes and yes, a thousand times over. I’ll marry you.” She guided his hand to place the ring on her finger and tugged impatiently at his hands. “Now, please stand up and kiss me.”

  * * *

  They decided to wait four months to have their wedding. The moms didn’t want a hurried, slapped-together wedding, and Landon was already hers in every sense of the word. Aubrey wasn’t in a rush.

  Morgan, on the other hand, wasn’t quite as patient. Their dark-haired, wide-eyed daughter arrived two weeks before her due date. And she was perfect. She stole their hearts and sleep, and the first three months of her life passed in a blur of exhaustion and joy.

  Now, a week after her hundredth-day celebration, it was time for Mommy and Daddy to declare their love and dedication to each other in front of their beloved family and friends. And Aubrey was having a hard time adjusting to being the center of attention after so long.

  “Do you think he’ll like the dress?” Aubrey asked, twisting around in front of the mirror.

  Aria and Tara had convinced her to wear a shape-hugging wedding dress that emphasized her fuller figure. She had to admit it was good advice. Her new curves totally rocked the dress. Copious amounts of exquisite lace and appliqué covered the spaghetti-strap dress that dipped to the small of her back and a skirt that fell in a slim tapered line to her toes. The only things demure about the dress were the square neckline that housed her full breasts and the long fishtail train that swooshed behind her. It was a daring and stunning wedding dress, and she was nervous as hell.

  “If you’re fishing for a compliment, I’ll humor you.” Tara circled her slowly and then came to a stop in front of her. “The dress is incredible, and you’re the loveliest bride in the whole wide world.”

  Aubrey grinned at her maid of honor. “I think you overshot it a bit, but it did the trick.”

  “I meant every word,” she said without a trace of teasing. “You’re so beautiful and I’m so happy for you, Bree.”

  “Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  “Don’t you dare cry. You’ll make both of us ruin our makeup,” Tara warned huskily. “Are you ready?”

  Aubrey beamed at her. “Hell yes.”

  Tara helped her out of the pantry they’d been using as a bridal suite, and Aubrey stood ready at the top of the stairs to walk down the aisle. The restaurant’s beautiful outdoor garden overlooked the Kern River, and the changing colors of spring made it all even lovelier.

  When Landon had gotten down on his knee and proposed to her, she’d known his restaurant would be the perfect place for their wedding. The interior needed some finishing touches before it opened next month, but Aria had done an amazing job transforming it into a breathtaking venue for their intimate wedding.

  Arrangements of lavender hydrangeas, white calla lilies, and champagne-colored peonies filled the rustic ceramic vases lining the aisles. The circular wedding arch was overflowing with the colors of spring, covered with glossy green leaves and rich vibrant blossoms. It glowed with the promise of a union and of steadfast devotion. Its beauty and meaning stole Aubrey’s breath. The circular arch brought home how this day—their wedding—was a symbol of their forever.

  “All right, babe.” Her best friend winked at her. “See you on the other side.”

  As her maid of honor, Tara also had the honor of carrying the flower girl down the aisle. Morgan, in her cream satin dress dotted with pink bows, looked like an angel in the arms of Auntie Tara, who looked stunning in her crimson, mermaid dress. Happy tears stung Aubrey’s eyes at the breathtaking sight of her favorite girls gliding toward the altar.

  Aubrey jumped a little when the bridal processional began. She took her first hesitant steps down the stairway, nerves zapping through her body, but the mesmerized expression on Landon’s face made her unafraid. His mouth remained parted, and his gaze—possessive and fierce—didn’t stray from her for a second. Her heart thundered at how handsome he looked in his black tuxedo.

  As she walked down the aisle strewn with white and pale green rose petals, Landon smiled. And Aubrey felt more certain of his love every step she took toward him—the keeper of her heart, the father of her child, and her soon-to-be husband.

  When Aubrey met him at the altar, Landon pulled her close and drew back her veil, oblivious to everything but her. In that moment, she was only Aubrey—not a new mom, a daughter, or a baker. Just his Aubrey. She was seen and loved by this incredible man.

  “You’re beautiful, Aubrey Choi,” he whispered in her ear, sending chills down her spine.

  “I guess that’ll be the last time I hear that from you.” Confusion clouded her groom’s face until she smiled at him with all the love inside her. “Because I’ll be Aubrey Kim in a few minutes.”

  “You bet you will.” His lips spread into a blinding smile, his dimple winking at her. The Smile still turned her into pink goo. “You’ll be my Aubrey Kim.”

  “As you’ll be mine,” she whispered. “From now till forever.”

  BULGOGI RECIPE

  Bulgogi (paper-thin rib eye in soy sauce marinade) is probably the best-known Korean dish in the U.S., and a staple in Korean-American households.

  It’s also my favorite deadline preparedness recipe because you can marinate and freeze it in perfect portions.

  INGREDIENTS

  3 tablespoons brown sugar (or granulated sugar)

  ⅓ cup soy sauce

  1 tablespoon plum extract (or cooking wine, like Mirin)

  1 tablespoon toasted sesame seed oil

  1 tablespoon finely minced garlic

  ¼ cup grated onion

  ½ teaspoon toasted sesame seeds

  Black pepper to taste

  1½ lbs thinly sliced rib eye

  DIRECTIONS

  1. Mix all ingredients except the rib eye in a non-plastic mixing bowl until the sugar is dissolved.

  2. Add the rib eye and mix gently until the marinade is evenly distributed.

  3. Let marinate in fridge overnight.

  4. Heat pan over medium-high heat and add a drizzle of oil. When the pan is hot but not smoking, add the meat and sauté until it is cooked through.

  5. Plate the bulgogi and sprinkle some toasted sesame seeds on top, and serve immediately with rice (or noodles or salad).

  **JAYCI’S TIPS**

  I always add half a sliced onion to sauté with the bulgogi. If I feel fancy, I add a couple of scallions (sliced to about 3-inch pieces), and sliced button mushrooms, too.

  PECAN CRANBERRY SHORTBREAD COOKIES RECIPE

  INGREDIENTS

  Cookies:

  ½ cup unsalted butter

  ¾ cup powdered sugar

  1 teaspoon vanilla extract

  ¼ teaspoon salt

  1 egg

  1¼ cups all-purpose flour

  ½ cup cranberries, dried and sweetened

  ½ cup pecans, roasted and salted
r />   White Chocolate Ganache:

  1 cup white chocolate

  ½ cup heavy cream

  DIRECTIONS

  1. In the bowl of a mixer, combine the butter and powdered sugar and mix until light and fluffy.

  2. Add the vanilla and salt and mix to combine.

  3. Add in the egg and mix until just combined.

  4. Slowly add the flour and mix until just blended in. Do not over mix.

  5. Chop the cranberries and pecans and stir into the dough.

  6. Bring the dough together on a piece of parchment paper and shape into a log, measuring about 12 inches long and 1½ inches in diameter. While wrapped in the parchment paper, roll to create a smooth log shape.

  7. Refrigerate until firm.

  8. Preheat the oven to 350°.

  9. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper. Remove the dough log from the refrigerator and slice into ½-inch rounds, trying to maintain the shape as best you can. Lay rounds flat on the baking sheets and bake 15–18 minutes until lightly browned around the bottom edges.

  While the cookies cool, prepare the ganache:

  1. Chop white chocolate and place in a heatproof bowl.

  2. Heat heavy cream until scalding and pour over the chocolate. Allow to stand for a few minutes, and then stir until completely smooth.

  3. Once the cookies and ganache have cooled, dip cookies in ganache so that one half is covered and one half is bare. Allow ganache to set before serving.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  This book saved me. My world was crashing down around me, and I was being erased from my reality. It was this book that built me back up. Every time I sat down to write A Sweet Mess, I saw myself in it—and it was my best self. Not who I was or the shell of myself that wandered vacantly through life, but my very best self—the person I was meant to be. And through the publication of this dear book, I am who I’m meant to be.

  I found my courage to live life to the fullest by writing this book, and I hope that reading it gives my dear readers laughter, hope, and courage to thrive.