The Silent Sister

by Shalini Boland

  Seb is a huge man, intimidating. I’m worried that if I admit to it, he might do something… violent. The other thing that’s spinning around my head is that he could be my stalker. I haven’t forgotten that he was at the pub in Grittleton last night. Or that Pippa admitted he has a crush on me. Although, now, it’s a pretty good bet that his crush has evaporated.

  ‘Seb, look, maybe you could calm down a bit.’

  ‘Calm down?’ he roars. ‘This is not acceptable and I will not calm down until you explain why Pippa is crying in her bedroom. Pippa doesn’t cry!’ He moves around the counter and takes a step towards me.

  Okay, this is getting scary. His eyes are glittering with rage and now there’s nothing between us; no counter blocking him any more. I glance at the front door, willing another customer to come in. But the street beyond is quiet. Maybe I should run and barricade myself inside the stockroom.

  ‘Seb, you need to leave.’ My voice is quavering. ‘Whatever happened between me and Pippa, you have no right to come barging in here, threatening me.’

  ‘Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do.’

  ‘Seb, if you don’t leave right now, I’m calling the police.’ I reach for the shop phone on the counter.

  ‘The police?’ His mouth drops open. ‘Why would you call the police?’

  ‘Because you’re scaring the shit out of me.’

  ‘Am I?’ Seb takes a step back. He runs a hand over his hair and exhales.

  ‘If you lay one finger on me, you’ll be arrested.’

  ‘Arrested? I’m not going to… but I haven’t…’

  I pick up the phone and stand a little taller.

  He swallows and finally looks like he’s coming to his senses. ‘Don’t call the police, Lizzy. I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to frighten you.’ His voice is a little softer now. He takes another step back, bashing into a clothes rail. ‘I only came here to stick up for Pips. This job, it’s the only thing she has in her life that she really loves. She respects you. You’re her best friend.’

  ‘Her best friend?’ I frown. ‘What about Fenella and all those other girls she went to school with?’

  ‘Oh, that lot? They’re all a bunch of snobs. No, you’re her only true friend – or so she thought. Pippa’s always rabbiting on about how down to earth you are, and how you never judge. How you’re so this and so that.’ Seb waves his hands around, and it would be almost comical if he weren’t so upset. ‘She even…’ He flushes. ‘She even keeps suggesting that you and I should… never mind. Anyway, that’s why this… this business is so damned awful. I just don’t know what to do.’ His body sags.

  ‘I’m sorry, Seb. I really am,’ I say, replacing the phone back in its cradle, realising that Seb isn’t about to attack me. ‘Look, Pippa’s my friend too. But I had no choice. George was going to call the police. He wanted to have her arrested for theft. I managed to persuade him not to, and he agreed not to make things official on the condition that I spoke to Pippa and made her return everything she’s taken.’

  ‘Do you believe she’s guilty?’ he asks.

  ‘I’m sorry, but yes. It really does look that way.’

  Seb shakes his head and looks down at his shoes. ‘What am I supposed to do, Lizzy?’ he asks. ‘How can I fix this?’

  I give my head a little shake. ‘Sometimes we can’t fix things. Sometimes we have to let them mend on their own. And sometimes things get broken and they stay broken.’ I give a bitter laugh.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ Seb bows his head. ‘I apologise for coming in here and shouting like that. For calling you a bitch. For the record, I don’t think you are. Not for one minute. I always wondered what it would be like to have a proper conversation with you – something other than a “hello, how are you?”. I never imagined it would be like this.’ He turns away. Walks back towards the door.

  ‘Seb, wait!’ I know I probably shouldn’t trust him, but now that we’re being honest with one another, I want to talk further. I want to get a sense of him. To see if there’s any possibility whatsoever that he could be the person behind the messages. I can’t let him leave not knowing for sure. And maybe he could be the link to fixing things between me and Pippa.

  Seb stops and turns, his shoulders stooped.

  ‘Want to go for a drink?’ I ask, feeling reckless, like I have nothing left to lose. ‘My shout?’

  ‘What, now?’

  ‘Yes.’

  He straightens up a little. ‘I’d like that, Lizzy. Yes. I’d like that very much.’

  ‘Okay, hang on, let me get my stuff.’ I ignore the drumming of my heart and the warning voices in my head. I’m sick of being scared. Of putting things off. From now on, I’m going to face my doubts and fears head-on.

  Thirty-Six

  We settle ourselves into a corner booth of The Pig and Whistle, the best pub in which to have a drink without being disturbed by anyone we know, as the average age of the clientele in here is around eighty-five. Seb sips his pint while I take a gulp of the house white, and grimace.

  I’m not fooling myself. This drink with Seb is my way of delaying going home. Of putting off facing my life. ‘I really am sorry, you know. About Pippa. If there had been any other way…’

  He holds up a hand. ‘I know you are. The whole thing is just a bloody great mess.’

  ‘Do you believe me?’ I ask. ‘Do you accept that she’s been taking things from Georgio’s?’

  He sighs. ‘I don’t know. Possibly.’ He shakes his head. ‘Possibly. Yes. Probably.’ He blows air out of his mouth and stares up at a spot on the ceiling behind me. ‘In fact, it’s all starting to add up.’

  ‘What is?’

  ‘Well, you know. She’ll often come home with extravagant gifts for one or other of us. Sometimes she’ll give Mum an extra twenty pounds towards the housekeeping. She has no end of new outfits, and tells us they’re samples, or faulty stock. Damn it! What was she thinking?’

  ‘Oh, Seb. Why do you think she’s been doing it?’

  ‘God knows. Keeping up appearances? Wanting to treat us? She’s a good person, you know. She’s not a criminal. I mean, you know her, Pippa’s not a bad person. She just… she strayed. Gave in to temptation or some such thing. She mixes in such wealthy circles – it must have made her feel inadequate. Oh, I don’t know. There’s no excuse.’ He takes two long gulps from his pint.

  ‘How long do you think it’s been going on?’ I ask. ‘The stealing?’

  ‘You tell me. I’ve only just realised it’s been happening. If this gets out, it’s going to destroy Mum and Dad. They’ll be thoroughly humiliated. Please, Lizzy, can you tell George to drop it? Make him believe she’s innocent?’

  ‘I can’t, Seb. It’s gone past all that. He knows it’s her.’

  ‘But if you talked to him…’

  ‘Believe me, I already have. Just get her to return everything and George will let it go.’

  Seb pulls at his lower lip. ‘She’s already given most of the stuff away as gifts. The money is long gone, and the clothes have all been worn. How will she be able to return it all?’

  ‘She’ll have to total it all up and give George the cash. I wonder how much it all comes to.’

  ‘No bloody idea. She probably doesn’t even know herself. And we have no spare cash whatsoever. Not a single bean. The land is all gone, bar a few acres. The house is all we have left.’

  ‘What about the artwork? Pippa said you visited an auction house the other day. Maybe that will bring in something.’ Mentioning his trip to Bristol reminds me that I thought Seb was my stalker. Talking to him now, I’m convinced it’s not him. He’s too worried about his sister. His face is an open book. Guileless. I remember that Llewellyn said she was going to bring him in for questioning. I’ll have to let her know that I don’t suspect Seb any longer. Being hauled into the police station and accused of being a stalker would be the last straw for him. The poor guy already seems at the end of his rope.

  ‘I’m not holding out too much ho
pe for the auction,’ he says, ‘but yes, I suppose that could yield a bit of income. The money was supposed to pay off a couple of loans, though, not pay George back for stolen goods. This is a nightmare!’ He drops his head in his hands. ‘One step forward, ten steps back.’

  The last thing I thought I’d be doing this evening is consoling Pippa’s brother. Although I know I’m delaying the inevitable. I can’t hide out in the pub all night.

  ‘Are these dead?’ A middle-aged barmaid comes and scoops up our glasses without waiting for a reply. Despite the fact that there are still a good few sips left, she takes our glasses and makes her way across to the next table, where the three men all wrap their hands around their pints.

  ‘Hands off, Joanne.’

  ‘In yer dreams, fellas.’

  They all laugh.

  But neither Seb nor I are laughing.

  ‘Do you want another?’ he asks, inclining his head towards the bar.

  ‘I’ll get them.’

  ‘No, no, it’s fine. I can—’

  ‘Seb, please. Let me.’

  ‘Okay, thanks. Another pint would be welcome.’

  I nod and get us another couple of drinks – this time I opt for a gin and tonic to wash away the taste of the dodgy wine. When I return, I ask him the obvious question. ‘Seb, why don’t you sell the Manor House? You could sort out all your money worries and enjoy life. Sorry if that’s too personal a question, but if things are really that bad…’

  ‘It’s okay. You’re only saying what everyone else is thinking. But Dad just won’t do it. He’s adamant that it should be passed down to me. Even though I don’t want it. Bloody place is a millstone. But the estate’s been in our family for generations, since the fourteenth century.’

  ‘Blimey. That’s some inheritance.’

  ‘Yeah. I’ll be Lord Hargreaves one day, without two pennies to rub together.’ He gives me a sad smile. ‘Look, I’ll sort something out with Pippa. I’ll get the money to give to George somehow. And you’ll… you’ll make sure he doesn’t press charges?’

  ‘He’s already said he’ll forget the whole thing if he’s compensated.’

  ‘Thank you, Lizzy.’

  ‘That’s okay.’

  ‘I mean it. Thank you.’

  I glance at my watch. ‘I think I’d better get back. I need to feed Frank.’

  ‘I thought your boyfriend’s name was Joe?’

  ‘Frank’s my cat. And Joe… well, he’s not my boyfriend any more.’ It’s hard to say the words out loud, but I’d better get used to it, because there’s no way I’ll be taking my lying boyfriend back.

  ‘Oh, I’m sorry.’

  I get to my feet. ‘Say hello to Pippa from me. Tell her I’m sorry things turned out like this.’

  ‘Can I give you a lift home?’ Seb asks, draining his pint and standing up.

  I pause for a moment. Although I truly don’t think Seb is a threat, the thought of getting into a vehicle with him is more than a little disconcerting. But I’m too drunk to drive, the journey is too short to warrant a taxi and I’m too nervous to walk home alone, so his offer is tempting.

  ‘It’s fine if you’d rather walk,’ he adds, noticing my hesitation. ‘Just thought I’d offer. You seem a little… tired.’

  I am tired. I’m exhausted. Everything seems to be catching up with me. ‘Actually, that would be great, if you don’t mind. That G&T has gone straight to my head. I’d better leave the car where it is.’ I realise I haven’t eaten anything all day, and I feel a bit sozzled.

  ‘No problem. I’m parked around the corner.’

  Seb and I leave the dingy pub and I squint into the evening sunshine, suddenly longing to be home in bed. To blot out the awfulness of the past twenty-four hours. We walk up the High Street and turn into a side lane, where Seb’s battered blue Land Rover is parked with two wheels up on the kerb. He unlocks it and I climb up into the passenger seat.

  As he starts the engine and pulls away, Seb glances across at me. ‘Lizzy, I really am sorry I yelled at you earlier. Don’t know what came over me.’

  ‘You were sticking up for your family, weren’t you?’

  ‘Yes, but this whole thing isn’t your fault. It was unforgivable of me to shout at you like that. I apologise.’

  ‘Apology accepted.’ Pippa was right, he’s a nice guy. He glances across at me once more and smiles. I wish I had a big brother who stuck up for me like that. Pippa may be going through a tricky time, but at least she’s lucky to have Seb by her side. How could I ever have thought Sebastian Hargreaves was out to get me?

  Thirty-Seven

  As I step through the front door, the cottage is silent. No Joe upstairs in the shower or watching TV. And it hits me – he will never be here again. I’ll never forgive him for what he did. It’s just occurred to me that without Joe, I won’t be able to afford the rent on this place. I’ll have to hand my notice in to George. I run a hand down the wall, stroking it. This was my home. Joe and I were saving for a deposit to buy something similar to this. We were even going to ask George if he’d consider selling his rental to us. But now… Well. Now everything has changed.

  ‘Frank!’ My gorgeous cat comes strolling down the stairs, purring loudly. ‘At least someone’s here to greet me.’ I bend down to scratch behind his ears. ‘Let’s get your supper, Mr Frankie.’ He trots into the kitchen ahead of me, tail in the air, and I get him his food.

  What a day. I never knew Seb had such a terrifying temper. For a moment back there at the shop, I really did think he was going to physically attack me. But now I realise he was simply sticking up for Pippa. He had thought I had unfairly sacked her. I hope she’ll be okay. I wonder if she will ever forgive me. Maybe Seb can talk her round. Or maybe it’s best that we take a break for a while. After all, I can’t lose sight of the fact that she was stealing from the shop. No matter how much of a friend I consider her to be, what she did was wrong. It could have cost me my job as well.

  ‘There you go, Frank. Food.’ I set his bowl down on his mat and he starts eating. I should eat too. My stomach is hollow and I’m more than a little light-headed. But my throat is too constricted to eat a proper meal. I take a cream cracker out of the biscuit tin and nibble at the corner. It tastes of sawdust, and even the smallest mouthful is like swallowing rocks. But I persevere.

  Should I go to bed? My mind is numb. I should surely be crying or angry or something, but I’ve been suppressing my emotions all day at work, and now that I’m finally free to let them out, they want to stay locked down tight. I should speak to Emma. I owe her a huge apology. I wonder if we’ll ever regain the bond we once had, or if it’s shattered for good. I can’t speak to her now, though, I’m no good for anything.

  I finish chewing my cracker and run myself a glass of water from the tap. The whoosh of water is loud, echoing. I drink down the whole glass and it revives me a little. It’s so quiet. I’m beginning to wish I’d stayed out a little longer. But I would still have had to come home at some point.

  The doorbell sounds and I freeze. Who could it be? Seb again? Emma? Not Joe – I’m pretty sure he would use his key, unless he’s trying to be thoughtful. I can’t face talking to him. Not this evening. Everything is still too raw. I don’t have the energy for another screaming match. What if it’s my stalker? The doorbell rings once more. I tiptoe along the hall and sidle into the sitting room, where I peer out of the window. Exhaling in relief, I see it’s only Ruby from next door. I suppose I could ignore the bell, pretend I’m out. But maybe she saw me coming home earlier. I give myself a shake. I should just answer the flipping door. I stretch out my arms and then rub at my cheeks, hoping I don’t look too much of a mess.

  ‘Hi, Ruby!’ I cry, pulling open the door. I was aiming for a normal-slash-friendly tone, but my voice sounds manic and too high-pitched.

  She’s standing on the doorstep wearing baby-pink tracksuit bottoms with her regulation crop top, showing off an incredible figure. ‘Hi, Lizzy,’ she says. ‘Tell me to
piss off and mind my own business, but are you okay?’

  ‘Okay?’ I smile brightly. ‘Yes, I’m fine.’

  Ruby bites her lip. ‘You sure? Only Ian bumped into Joe today, and he said you two had had a fight. I’m not being nosy or anything, I just wondered if you might want some company?’ Her blue eyes are huge and filled with concern.

  ‘Oh.’ Annoyingly, my emotions seem to have chosen this particular moment to surface. A tear slips down my face.

  ‘Lizzy! Are you okay? Stupid question, ’course you’re not.’ She steps into the hallway and gives me an awkward hug.

  ‘I’m fine, honestly. I know I don’t look like it.’ I give a strangled laugh. ‘But I’ll be okay in a sec.’

  ‘You don’t have to put a brave face on for me,’ Ruby says. ‘I know what it’s like when your boyfriend acts like a dickhead. Not Ian! No, Ian’s good as gold. My last boyfriend, though, he was a total knob. Used to cheat on me all the time, till I kicked him to the kerb. You and Joe will get back together though, won’t you? You look rock solid, you two.’

  I shake my head slowly. ‘No, Ruby. We’re finished.’

  ‘Did he break up with you? Sorry, ignore me. Just being a nosy cow. You don’t have to talk about it. I just wanted to see if you were okay, and if there’s anything I can do.’

  ‘You’re really sweet,’ I say, sniffing back more tears.

  ‘Ha! Never been called sweet before.’

  Despite my tears, I manage a small smile. ‘Why don’t you come in for a bit? If you’re not too busy. Have a cuppa with me, or… hang on, I think there’s a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc in the fridge.’ I go into the kitchen and pull open the fridge door. Ruby follows me down the hallway. ‘Yep, three quarters of a bottle. Want to help me finish it off?’

  ‘Not really a wine drinker, but yeah, okay, why not. Thanks.’

  ‘Hey, Frank.’ I reach down to stroke him, but now he’s had his food, he’s not too interested and he scoots past Ruby and scampers back upstairs.