by Leaona Luxx
I arrive at work about fifteen minutes early, and I hear my name. I haven’t clocked in yet, so Steve has no reason to bitch at me. When I hear my name again, I realize it isn’t Steve. I walk through the service doors, searching for whoever is looking for me.
A tall blond teen stands at the front desk with a box in hand, asking for me. “Hi, I’m Ava. What can I do for ya?” I ask with apprehension.
“This is for you. Sign here please.” The lanky teen hands me a clipboard with a pen.
“What is it?” I ask as I sign.
“A box.” The teen smirks. “I’m not sure what’s in it, I’m just the delivery guy.” He smiles at me. I reach for the cash in my pocket for a tip. “It’s taken care of, have a great day.” He waves.
I begin to open the box when a familiar face walks through the door. “Hi, Willow. How are you?”
To my surprise, she brings me in for a hug. “Good. How are you?”
“Good. Nervous,” I say as I pick my package up.
“No need, you’re gonna do great. I’m meeting all the girls: Em, Ryver, Maisyn, Thayer, Lea and Grandma Elise to finalize the baby shower,” she says as she looks at the box in my hands. “What’cha got?”
“I have no clue,” I say with wide eyes. “Wanna find out?”
“Duh! Oh, here comes Thayer,” Willow says as she waves at her aunt. Well, technically, her fiancé’s stepdad’s sister. One and Lea’s family is huge. “Ava got a gift.”
“From who?” Thayer’s eyes are wide now, too. Opening the box, I take the card as Willow and Thayer wait patiently.
I believe in you. Riley
A feeling of breathlessness sweeps over me as my smile grows. I place the card back in the envelope. Moving the tissue paper, I gasp as it dawns on me what he’s sent. “Scrubs.” I giggle.
“Well, they’re practical.” Thayer shrugs.
Looking at them, my eyes shift from one to the other as I try to decide to let them in on it. “I had to buy scrubs for my classes and could only pick a few pairs up.” I bite my lip in hesitation. “I couldn’t buy more and get Andi something for school, so I chose her.”
“As any mom would,” Willow adds. “I do believe Riley is a keeper.”
“How did you know?” My eyes widen.
“I see the way he looks at you,” Willow explains.
“Riley’s a great guy,” Thayer adds. “Now, Walker… let’s just say, he needs a rude awakening.”
“So, true,” I agree as I show them to their table before putting my things away and clocking in.
Taking out my phone, I shoot Riley a quick message so I can get to work.
What am I going to do with you?
I can think of a few things. -Riley
Hush. Lol
Thank you.
For? -Riley
Scrubs.
Did you smile? -Riley
Huge.
You shouldn’t have.
Someone should. -Riley
I gotta work. Boo.
Be safe. -Riley
Will do. See ya.
Shoving my phone in my pocket, I spin around and right into Steve. “Excuse me.”
“Who are you fucking now?” he spits as he crowds me against the wall.
“None of your business,” I murmur as I turn my head away searching for someone, anyone.
“Guess I didn’t have enough money, but just remember—you’ll always be a whore, Ava. Be careful, you don’t get treated like one,” he seethes as his lips touch my ear. Squeezing my eyes shut, I push past him.
“Stay away from me, Steve,” I say to him as I walk out the door.
I keep my head down for the rest of the day, dodging Steve at every turn. I can’t stand the way he talks to me, and I hate the way he looks at me. I need to get away from this place and him. He’s always staring at me, making me feel dirty. I may be a lot of things, but I’m not going to allow anyone to treat me like I’m trash. I need to figure out a way to keep my distance from him until I can leave.
I’ve never been happier than to be done with this day. Walking to my car, I hit the alarm and reach for the handle. My hand lands on another, and I shudder. I turn to face my most recent nightmare, Steve. “What do you want?”
He leans against my car. “You know what I want,” he says as his finger grazes my arm.
“Don’t touch me,” I say as I scan my surroundings.
“Don’t be like that, Ava. This game you’re playing is getting,” he steps closer to me, wrapping his hands around my arms before I can move, “real frustrating. You know what I mean?”
I struggle to break free as I try to remain calm. “No, I don’t. I’ve never led you on, and I told you we’re just not meant to be.”
“I don’t care, I want you and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to have you.” He pulls me to his chest, and I turn my head to dodge his lips as he leans closer.
“Stop it and let go of me.” I wrench away from him, stumbling over my feet.
I throw my hands behind me to brace my fall, but I never hit the ground. Big, muscle-bound arms latch around me, and I’m righted before I can realize what’s happening. “You alright, Ava?” Riley’s teeth grind.
“I am, now.” I wrap my arms around his waist.
“Steve, I think she’s ready to leave,” Riley growls as I bury my face in the protection of his chest.
“We weren’t finished.” The sound of Steve’s voice grates on my nerves.
“You are now.” Riley bares his teeth as he pulls me to his side, holding me with one arm.
Steve glares at Riley, his jaw ticking. His eyes shift from Riley to me, and I hold on even tighter. “We’ll see about that,” he sneers.
“You’re damn right we will.” Riley advances on Steve, and Steve wavers before stepping away.
“Maybe,” Steve snarls. “There’s always another time.”
“Not anymore, you’ll stay away from her,” Riley seethes.
“We’ll see, man.” Steve takes another step back. “Must be one fine piece of ass.”
Riley’s on Steve before I can stop him. He fists his hands in Steve’s shirt and shoves him backward against the trunk. Riley gets right in his face and snarls, “Stay. The. Fuck. Away. From. Her. Or I’ll not be held accountable for what I do to you.”
I lay my hand on Riley’s back. It’s not that I care if he kicks Steve’s ass, but right now, he’s my boss and Riley can’t always be around. “Please, Riley. Just let him go.”
Riley hesitates, then he pulls Steve off the back of my car and shoves him to the ground with a thud. Riley makes his way to me as Steve stumbles to his feet. He leers at us and walks away. “Thank you, Ry.” I hug him tightly.
“No worries, just glad you’re okay.” He holds me close, his strong hand rubbing the small of my back in a soothing motion. “Let’s get you in. I’ll follow you home.”
He opens my door, shutting it before walking over to the dark corner he parks in. I’m so thankful he’s here again. Steve’s crossing a line that I’m not sure how to deal with; it seems impossible. I need a new job as soon as possible.
“Mom?” I search for her in the dark, but there’s no answer.
I creep closer to the crack in the door. Closing one eye, I peek in. I can see movement, but I can’t make out what’s going on. There’s a faint sound like coughing filling the room. I shudder, hearing a snap. The house grows eerily silent.
“Daddy?” I murmur in fear I’ll be heard by something or someone.
I step into the room and scream.
I sit straight up in the bed, shaking and wet with sweat, again. “Damn dreams.” Falling back, I count to ten to slow my breathing and finally my heart rate. “I gotta do something.”
I follow Ava home, staying close so she can keep me in her sights. Yes, there’s a hidden agenda there, but that’s for another time. She needs a friend tonight, not a lover. Although, I’d like the option to be both if she’ll ever allow herself to see me that way.
&nb
sp; She pulls up to her apartment, and I park beside her. I walk her to the door, praying she’ll invite me in. To my surprise, she does. “Wanna come in? Ya know, to catch up or talk.”
“I’d love to.” She smiles as she swings her door open. “After you.” I nod.
“When did you become such a gentleman?” I follow behind her, shutting the door and locking it behind me.
“Now, darlin’. I’ve been a good guy, you just hadn’t noticed.” She tilts her head as her eyes narrow.
“I’ve always noticed you, Ry.” Well, then, why aren’t you mine?
“I don’t think so. Brannon was the only thing on your radar.” I wink at her as I make myself comfortable on her couch.
Ava’s apartment is small but nice. The furniture isn’t new, but it doesn’t look bad. I scan the layout when she leaves to change; it looks to be a one bedroom with the basics. I swallow hard against the lump in my throat. My heart breaks for her.
This girl. This amazing, beautiful woman has never been given a chance at life. She’s struggled for everything she’s ever had. I know that Brannon’s new wife helped her with this place, but it doesn’t help my soul to know she’s done without.
“What’cha thinking about?” Ava interrupts my thoughts.
“Nothing. You, me. Growing up.” I nod as she sits beside me.
“We’ve been friends forever, or it seems like it, anyway.” She pats my leg, and I fight the urge to take her in my arms.
“That we have,” I agree. “So, how ya been?”
She side eyes me warily. “You mean since Brannon got married?”
“No. I mean, how have you been?” My gaze is serious, relaying that I’m only interested in discussing her and nothing else. Nobody else matters.
“I’m good.” She bites her lip while she looks around the room. “I know I may not look good, but I am. For the first time in my life, I’m in a good place.”
“About damn time.” I rub her back. “Well, except for Steve. I’m about to rip his head off.”
“I’m about to let you.” We chuckle.
“Okay, so how have you been since Brannon got married.” I sit back, getting comfortable.
She laughs, curling her legs under her to face me. “It’s whatever. I mean, did anyone think we’d be together forever?” She shakes her head. “He’s a great father, and I’m a fucked-up mom. Torrie’s better for them both.” She hesitates. “Trapping Brannon was some of the dumbest shit I’ve ever pulled, and there’s been a lot.
“He came home in love and a little bitter, but who can blame him? It was obvious I had trapped him, and he’s never called me out on it. After the stunts I’ve pulled in my lifetime, dragging him through the mud behind me, I’m lucky to call him my friend. And yes, that’s all he is.”
“Just like that, it’s over?” My heart races as I try to calm myself.
“Ry, it’s been fifteen years or more, it’s over. It never really started. We were teenagers, and I was afraid of being alone. Brannon let me get away with whatever I wanted. He never told me no until recently and even then, it’s like it hurt him more.” She rolls her eyes thinking about it.
“That’s not just your fault, you know that, right?” I ask.
“Oh, I don’t blame Brannon. What’s he supposed to do with me?” She chuckles as she picks imaginary lint from her sweatpants.
“I damn well do blame Brannon, Ava.” Her head snaps up, her eyes wide as golf balls. “He allowed it. At any time, he could’ve put a stop to it, but he didn’t. Were you wrong? Yes. I’d take you over my knee for some of the shit you did, but he knew what was what.”
“I don’t understand?” She narrows her eyes.
“Ava, I’m not trying to absolve you from any of your past crimes. You’re right, you were a damn handful. But Brannon could’ve said no. Just because you acted like a petulant child didn’t mean he had to be the parent and make excuses. He hurt you as much as you hurt him.” I tilt my head until she looks at me.
“You were both young. He wanted to take care of you. You needed him; it’s all you knew. The important thing is not to stay there, grow from it. It looks as though you’re trying, and that counts for something.” I pause, smiling at her. “Stop allowing your past to tell you who you are. Every day, you can decide to be someone different. Someone better. Make a mistake, try again.”
She shrugs. “People tend to remember only my bad.”
“You’re not known for showing people anything different.”
She huffs, “It’s hard knowing what they’re thinking of me.” She looks away from me. “I said I’d never admit it, but you were right. I would’ve been mortified if Andi had seen me like that the other day. I just needed something. Someone.” She drops her head, defeated.
“I get it.”
Her head pops up. “Y-you do?”
“I do. I’ve made some pretty stupid choices the last few years. Most, I pray no one ever finds out about. I don’t know how you’ve survived as long as you have in this toxic environment.”
“It’s my own doing.” Her eyes cast down, and her shoulders slump inward. “They’re only saying the truth. I am who I am.”
“There’s this saying, ‘What you allow, is what will continue.’ Don’t let it happen anymore.” I reach over, taking her hand. “You’re more than what they think of you.”
She refuses to look at me. “Your opinion of me, good sir, is misconceived.”
I tug at her hand until she glances at me. “I know you. Ava, I see you. I’ve always seen exactly who you are. I’m okay with it; it’s time you start.”
She sighs heavily, squeezing my hand tightly. “So, tell me Ry, when did you grow up?”
“A long damn time ago, you just hadn’t noticed.” I wink at her as she smiles shyly.
Her gaze drifts from mine and down my body as she bites her lip. “I can see that.”
“And this is where we’re changing the subject.” I adjust my growing cock as she giggles.
“What’s up, Riley?” She snickers.
“Keep it up, and you might find out.” I release a rugged breath, trying to calm my raging hormones.
She studies me for a moment, working her mouth. “Seriously?”
I spin to her, my face twisted in unbelief. “What?”
Ava’s mouth hangs agape. “You’re not kidding.”
“Give me a break. You know I’ve been crazy about you for years.”
“A crush.” She slowly nods her head.
“Yeah, sure.” We sit there quietly for several minutes while she works this out.
She jumps up, whipping around to the kitchen. “I’m sorry, I haven’t offered you a thing to drink.” She yanks the door open, pretending to search the refrigerator.
“I’m good, honestly.”
She cranes her neck to catch my line of sight. “You sure?”
I’m on the edge of my seat and can see she has nothing more than water in it. The fact she has nothing makes me angrier than the fact that she doesn’t know how I feel. “Yes.”
She turns, searching the room for anything, rather than to look at me. “I’m sorry. I’m wretched, I should’ve known.”
“It’s not important, so don’t be worried.” I try to play it off to make her feel better, but she takes it wrong. She falls against the counter, wrapping her arms around herself, her eyes downcast again. “Yeah, no, I’m good as long as you are.”
I wrestle with going to her, taking her in my arms and cutting my ties. I’ve tried everything to show her how I feel, everything but telling her. After all this time, you’d think it would just fall out of me. I battle the same demons she does—doubt eats at my soul.
I stand, staring at her across the room as the man who loves her, wants her. Waiting for her to notice me, needing her to. She risks a glance in my direction, her lip tight between her teeth, her eyes telling of the war raging within her. No words, yet a million are spoken.
If she were the girl she was ten years ago, this woul
d be easy for her. If I wasn’t the man I am now, I would cross the room, take her in my arms, and never let her go. I’m too guarded, and she’s full of self-loathing. The only thing moving is the hand on the clock.
My heart races and I know it’s for an entirely different reason, yet, I don’t listen to my heart. “It’s getting late; I should go.” I’m rooted to the spot.
“Don’t.” Her head falls forward. “I’m not sure what this is, the heaviness I feel when you’re not near; I only know I want you here.”
I swallow the lump in my throat, taken aback by her admission. “I’m here.”
“Want to watch a movie?” Her mouth twists as if she has something else to say, but chose that instead.
“We can do that.” I extend my hand for her to take, and my heart flutters when her hand slips in mine.
We sit on opposite ends of her couch, watching black and whites, talking about everything. “So, you kidnapped Andi to try to split Brannon and Torrie up?”
“Yeah, I know.” She rolls her eyes before falling back onto the couch. “I didn’t even want him. I just didn’t want to be forgotten. Alone.”
“Ava, many things may happen when someone meets you, but forgetting you isn’t one of those.” I smirk at the thought.
“Maybe you haven’t tried.” She glares at me.
“Oh, hell. I tried. I fucked everything with a skirt for two years straight. Drunk, not drunk—didn’t matter.” Her eyes are wide with shock. “Now, I’m young. Did you think I wasn’t gonna screw around?”
“I just didn’t think you’d admit it.”
“Why hell, I’m not gonna lie.” I sag into the couch.
“It doesn’t bother you I’ve slept around?” She continues to stare at the television as she bites her nails.
“Does it matter, I have?” I lean forward, trying to force her to look at me.
“No.” She sighs heavily as her jaw begins to tick. “I haven’t screwed as many as they say, but I have slept with some I never should’ve. I’ve lost friends, rightfully so. But I haven’t done all the things I’ve been accused of, not even close. I’m happy to do myself damage or Brannon.”