by Leaona Luxx
“You done yet?”
She whirls around, glaring at me. “Don’t you see I’m working on it?”
“Damn straight I do, do you?” I glare back. We stare at each other, waiting for the other to back down. Neither does. We burst into laughter. “I don’t think we’ve ever argued.”
“Nope, I loved you too much.” She pokes my side. Wonder if she could feel the knots in my stomach from her sentiment?
“So you say, I have no proof.”
“Whatever.” She yawns with a big stretch, her breasts jutting out and showcasing her hard nipples. Fuck. I’m done.
“I should get going.” I slide to the end of the couch.
“So, you still in the guest house?” She joins me on the edge of the couch.
“For now. I gotta get my shit together.”
“Are you working anywhere?” She flexes her toes on the floor, waiting for my answer.
“Not right now, I’m trying to decide what I want to do.” I lick my lips as her leg touches mine.
“It’s late and since you don’t have work, you could stay here.” She peeks up from her lashes.
“Let’s watch one more movie, and then we’ll decide.” I bump her leg with my knee.
“Sounds like a plan.” Her smile spreads across her face, and I die a thousand deaths from wanting to be on her lips.
We snuggle close on the couch, under a blanket. Sometime in the night, we fall asleep. Something rouses me awake, and I open my eyes to Ava’s face glowing from the moon behind me that shines through the window.
Her lips are soft pink and full. Her lashes touch her cheek, hiding the small mole at the corner of her eye. Her mouth parts ever so slightly. I gasp. Her beauty takes my breath away, and my chest aches with the need to kiss her. I move a stray hair behind her ear and watch her sleep.
Just before dawn, I decide to let her wake on her own. I’m not sure why, I just feel like she needs to. Easing off the couch, I pick her up and carry her to her bed. Laying her down, her hair sticks to her face; she looks adorable.
I cover her with the throw from the couch. Running my index finger over her cheek, I move her wild hair. Her lips purse and my stomach tightens. I do the unthinkable. Leaning down, I brush her lips with mine before settling on them fully.
She whimpers, and I’m completely gone. I want her and what’s more, she damn well wants me. She loves me, she just doesn’t know it yet. This time, Ava’s met her match. I’m not the same man I once was, and she’s about to lose her heart for good.
I set her alarm and make sure her door is locked. I wait in my truck until her light comes on an hour and a half later. A light in every room comes on; she’s looking for me. I turn my truck on, knowing the lights will hit her windows.
Timing it perfectly, I pull away with her watching. Ava needs to feel what it’s like to watch me leave. To know in her gut, it’s not what she ever wants to do again. I love her and if fighting dirty will win her, by god, I’ll play dirty as hell.
I’m pulling a double today. I can’t decide if a double shift on the weekend is worse than one on a Wednesday. I know one thing’s for sure, spending twelve hours with Steve on any day is the worst. He’s made a million passes by me, every time making an excuse to bump into me or rub me in some way. You would think after his run-in with Riley, he would’ve learned something. Apparently, he’s gonna have to learn the hard way, and I’m afraid Riley’s just the man to teach him.
I don’t have the energy or patience for Steve today, especially after Riley stayed over last night and our marathon of memories. It’s great to catch up with him. I’ve missed him. It certainly doesn’t hurt he’s hot as hell. Who would’ve thought Riley would turn out so perfect?
I’m confused as to why he’d stay till morning and leave before I got up. Wait. We were on the couch last night. He carried me to bed? Why didn’t he try anything? I did dream he kissed me. It was so perfect. Sweet and sexy, just like Riley.
I feel someone watching me and soon I see it’s Steve, glaring. Any thoughts of Riley are gone, along with my smile when I spot him. He licks his lips at me and when no one’s looking, he rubs himself. I’m sickened by his vulgar display. I’d gag if I wouldn’t ruin people’s meals.
Two hours later, I’m devouring the daily special as I scan the Classified section of the newspaper for a job. A shadow slowly covers my table, drawing my eyes up. Dax. “Hey, there. How are you?”
“Doin’ good. How are you?” he asks as he joins me.
“Good.”
“You on lunch?” Dax asks.
“I’ve got a few more minutes. Double shift today.” I shrug as a movement behind him gets my attention. Steve. He’s glaring at us.
“So, you gonna go out with me or what?” Dax winks.
“I stay pretty busy, Dax, and classes start next week,” I explain, hoping to put him off a little longer.
“Dinner. Friday before work?” he presses.
“Okay, but don’t hold me to it. I never know if I’ll get called in.” My eyes shift between Dax and Steve, who’s still watching. My skin begins to crawl as the hair on my neck stands straight. I start gathering my things before Steve has a chance to come over.
“I’m holding you to it. I’ll call Thursday,” Dax says as he stands with me. “Have a good evening.” He leans in, kissing me on the cheek.
“Alright, but no funny stuff.” I poke him in the stomach as I walk away.
A little after one in the morning, I sink into my bed. Who would’ve ever thought being good could be so tiring? I chuckle to myself—it’s been a week, not a year. Just last week, I was sneaking outta a hotel room. What’s wrong with having fun?
Except when having fun starts hurting the ones you love. Yeah, I’ve slept around. Men do it all the time and no one says a word, but let a woman and she’s branded a whore. No one wants to be with her, but they’ll gladly rent a room in a seedy motel for a good time.
I’ve made a million mistakes in my life, I know. I’ve been an utter bitch to Torrie and used Brannon. He’s been my best friend since I can remember. We were high school sweethearts, and when I thought he was going to move on and forget about me, I got pregnant.
Yes, on purpose. I used my child to hold over Brannon for the last ten years, just knowing he would eventually give in and love me. It never happened because he met the love of his life—Torrie. It makes me wonder what that kind of love is like.
But then again, what do I know about love? The way I’ve treated Brannon obviously is a red flag that I don’t know shit. After the last few months, I’ve begun to wonder if I’ve ever known love? I mean, is it a feeling? I used to think so, but then Brannon didn’t feel the way I did.
He said our love was different, not the kind lovers share. Whatever that means because his love is the only I remember. My grandmother died just before my eighteenth birthday when Brannon went to college. I was alone.
I’ve been alone for many years, it seems. My gran never wanted me; she didn’t even raise her own children. I was left to take care of myself, most of the time staying with Brannon. I rarely even slept at my gran’s.
As soon as I learned sex would get me most of what I needed, I used it. Once it stopped working on Brannon, I went on to others. It’s what I know, how I am. It wasn’t until recently that I realized I can be more. I want to be more.
But I can’t help to think, I’m just like my gran. Am I capable of love? The kind Andi deserves? The kind like Torrie and Brannon have? Is it different? Does it feel the same? As wetness begins to pool behind my eyes, I wonder if I’ll ever know a true love.
My phone vibrates, dragging me from my own personal hell. Nobody can kick my ass like I can. I squint when the bright light flashes again. A text from Riley brings a smile to my face.
You up?
Yeah, can’t sleep.
My phone begins to ring, startling me. I answer, “Shit. You scared me.”
“How’s that?” Riley chuckles.
“I w
asn’t expecting it to ring.” I laugh with him. “What’s up?”
“You sounded down…” he hesitates, “...and it gave me a great excuse to call.”
“You don’t need an excuse.” I quip.
“Good to know. Now, why can’t you sleep?” His voice lowers.
“Thinking.” I sigh. “People lose so much sleep over thinking.”
“Over-thinking or over thinking.” He chuckles again, making me giggle.
“Both.” I hesitate. “I need to get my shit together.”
“Didn’t we discuss this last night? I had no right talking to you like that.” He sighs heavily. “I was surprised seeing you after all this time.”
“Well, if I’m gonna be a dumbass, someone should call me on it.” I bite my lip. “So, you dating anyone?”
“Nope, no one. You?” he asks softly.
“You haven’t heard? I’m still the town whore, I date everyone,” I slather on the sarcasm.
“Stop that,” he demands as a chill runs over my body.
“What?” I’m being honest.
“I hate it when you say things like that and honestly, I’m surprised you’re still doing it after all these years.” He lives here, he should know.
“Old habits,” I huff. “I need to change so much about myself, I don’t even know where to begin some days.”
“Ava, you’re pretty damn perfect. Stop allowing others to dictate who you are.” He pauses. “You’ve never seen yourself the way I do.”
“How’s that?” My pulse quickens when his breathing changes. A sudden pang of desire pulls at me.
“Some people see flaws and think the object isn’t worth the effort. We all have them, scars from life that’s made us who we are. I don’t see them as imperfections; I see them as battle wounds. Survivor patches. You’re a survivor, and no one gets to judge you on how you chose to do it.” I’m breathless and almost speechless.
I gasp. “Riley, thank you.”
“Ava, I know you think you’re not worth the trouble…” his voice is soothing, “…but you are.”
“I’ve heard some people like trouble.” I giggle, trying to lighten the mood.
“I do, always have where you’re concerned.” He’s beginning to cause me trouble as his innocent banter makes my panties wet.
“My past is proving to be hard to overcome. Don’t get me wrong, I deserve people doubting me or not trusting me. And I know it’s gonna take time to get there.” I’m not sure I ever will.
“Don’t try to overcome it, work on getting past it. It’s easier to pass something than it is climbing over.” Damn, he’s good.
I chuckle. “Since when did you become so philosophical?”
“When you weren’t looking,” he quips.
“I’ve always seen you.” I’ve always noticed him. “You were just off limits.”
“No, you were hung up on Brannon,” he says cynically.
“No. I used him,” I say flatly.
“He allowed it,” he growls. “Again, a moot topic. We discussed this, did something happen?”
“But I did it. Like a spoiled kid wanting attention.” I evade his question, but I swear it sounds like he’s angry with Brannon.
“Like someone needing attention, you just asked the wrong person.” He’s angry.
“He’s all I knew.” I shrug, defending us both.
“I know.” He bemoans. “For the record, I was here.”
“You disappeared for what… four-five years now?” I ask.
“Yeah, well, I’m here now, and I’m here for you.” His deep southern growl makes desire pool deep within me.
“What’cha gonna do with me, Riley?” My double entendre laced with sexual innuendo as I bite my lip.
“Don’t even joke, Ava.” His voice low and promising. When my nipples begin to pebble, I snap my eyes open. What the fuck am I doing?
“I’m sorry, Riley.” Rising from the bed, I shake my head in disapproval. “I’m ridiculous. I know we’re friends and shouldn’t be flirting.”
“I’m a grown ass man; there’s nothing wrong with flirting, babe,” he tries to reassure me.
“Oh, Riley that’s the problem. I noticed.” Not helping here, Ava.
“Noticed what, exactly?” His gravelly voice is deep with desire.
“Don’t make me say it, please,” I beg.
“What did you notice, Ava?” he asks with a husky tone.
“You. I’ve noticed everything.” I sigh, I’m not sure if it’s from relief or tension coiling in my stomach. “I need to get some sleep.”
“I would say dream of me, but that won’t help me with my problem,” he huffs.
“What problem?” I ask.
“Another time, Ava. Another time.” What am I missing?
“I’ll hold you to it,” I say with a yawn.
“Please do. Goodnight, Trouble.” His voice is soft.
“Night, sweetie.” I hang up with the biggest grin.
I slept great last night, no nightmares. It’s the first time in weeks. Riley running through my dreams last night is probably why I didn’t have a bad one. He’s so hot, it’s beginning to kill me. Even his voice turns me on. But. It’s a no go.
I’ve cleaned the apartment from top to bottom. I’ve showered, shaved my legs, and trimmed Ms. Kitty. Why? I don’t know, I’m determined to not sleep with this man. I’ve also picked out three different outfits, now to decide what to wear.
If only I had a girlfriend. Or any friend.
With a deep sigh, I pick up my phone. After the third ring, I begin to hang up when I hear her voice. “Hey, Ava,” Torrie answers.
“Hey, what’s going on?” I fidget with the belt on one outfit.
“Not much. Shopping for last minute things for the shower,” she says. “You are coming, right?”
“Yes. I switched tomorrow day shift, so I work tomorrow night and a double Sunday,” I explain as I spin from side to side.
“Great. So, what’s up?” Torrie asks almost out of breath.
“I—I need help,” I stutter through my words.
“With?” Torrie waits for my answer. I drop my head against the wall, closing my eyes.
“I’m having dinner with Dax.” I breathe heavily. “I have nothing to wear.”
The phone sounds muffled and then Torrie again. “How much time do we have?”
“Three hours. I have to work tonight so it’s an early dinner.” I bite at my nails.
“We’ve got you. We’re on the way,” Torrie says excitedly. “And Ava, stop chewing on your nails.”
I jerk my hand from my mouth. “Thank you.” I end the call and take a deep breath.
Forty-five minutes later, my apartment is filled with enough women, clothes, makeup, shoes and laughter that I can’t see from one end of the room to the next. Everyone brought their own things to help me. Me? The town whore.
“Did he tell you where you’re going?” Torrie asks from the other side of the room.
Seriously, every woman I know is here, I’m blown away. Torrie brought Maisyn, Lea and Thayer came with Lea’s daughter-in-law, Emmerson; they call her Em. And Willow and Ryver showed up about ten minutes ago.
Clothes are draped from every space while jewelry is being matched. I’m in a chair in the middle of the kitchen, getting my hair, nails, and makeup done. I can’t decide whether to go casual or dress to kill. I’m being shown outfit after outfit when my phone vibrates.
The room goes quiet when I pick it up. “Hey, how are you?”
“I’m good. You?” Riley asks.
“I have to work tonight, but other than that I’m good.” I chance a peek around the room, everyone is silent, listening.
“I was wondering if you wanted to grab some food before you go?” His voice quivers. My chest tightens as words escape me. The thought of telling him I’m going out with Dax makes me sick to my stomach.
My eyes roll in the back of my head as I mutter, “I can’t.”
“Oh.” H
e pauses. “Okay, some other time.” Riley’s voice cracks as it lowers to a whisper.
“Of course, I’d love to,” I stutter. “I’m sorry, Riley.” Frowning as I think of letting him down.
“No worries, T. Talk later.” Riley ends the call without another word. My heart sinks as my bottom lip begins to tremble, and I pull it between my teeth. Sinking in, I try to stifle the fluttering in my chest.
“Ava?” Torrie kneels in front of me, taking my hand in hers. My eyes snap to hers as she squeezes my hand. “You okay?”
I nod for a solid minute before I can clear my throat enough to talk. “Yeah, I just—just feel sick.”
“Is there any reason you can think of that would make you feel this way?” Torrie’s face is soft, her eyes wrinkling in the corner.
“No. I-I need to get dressed, it’s getting late.” I pat her hand, giving her a tight smile.
“Okay. Let’s do this, ladies,” Torrie announces, and the flurry of activity begins again.
After much debate, we go casual with dark denim crop jeans and an off-the-shoulder, white eyelet shirt. Simple nude heels with an ankle strap and multi-colored clutch. My hair is pulled into a side pony, full of loose curls.
I’m breathtaking.
“Thank you. I have no words, I’ve never…” My words trail off as my throat closes.
“No thanks needed.” Torrie pulls me into a hug. “Go have fun and be yourself.”
I’m passed around for everyone to hug, carefully, as to not ‘mess me up’. I giggle to myself as they all leave, waving and smiling as they go. I check my phone for the time; it’s getting late and I need gas. I grab my purse and send Dax a quick text to ask where to meet.
Hey. I need gas before work. Where we meeting? A few minutes later, I get his answer.
Carolina Roadhouse good?
Yeah. @3? I thought this was planned but apparently not.
Sounds good. See ya there.
Okay!
I head out the door and to the gas station. About ten till three, I’m at the restaurant. I check my lipstick while I wait. Then I check the time, also my messages. Nothing. Biting the inside of my cheek, I scan the parking lot to check for him.