by Leaona Luxx
“You have no idea what it does to me knowing you’ve been thinking of me.” His hips thrust forward, pressing his dick into my ass. I cringe from the contact, freezing.
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” I say through gritted teeth.
“Doesn’t matter, the mere thought of you makes me hard.” He runs his tongue up my neck. I grip the paring knife in hand, luckily, Nikki comes through the door and he saunters away.
“You need to say something,” Nikki whispers.
“I’m looking for a new job.”
“Soon, Ava. He’s getting worse.” She turns to me, laying her hand on my arm. I give her a weak smile, patting her hand.
Returning to the front, I steady my breath. It’s already been a crazy day, and it’s still early. “You’ve been requested.” Nikki jerks her head to the dining room. Craning my neck around her, I get a good look at who’s waiting.
For fuck's sake, can’t I catch a break? I plaster a smile on and walk to the table. “Hey, how can I help?”
“Seriously? That’s my greeting?” He raises his brows.
“Hi, Dax. What would you like?”
“Ava. Come on,” he pleads with uplifted hands.
“I’m working and my boss is an asshole, so if you’re here for chit chat, I’m done.” I spin on my toes to walk away.
Dax touches my arm to stop me. “Hey, hang on. I want to apologize.”
“So, apologize.” I cross my arms, waiting for him.
“I flirted with the waitress.” He shrugs. “I’m sorry. But you were preoccupied with Riley.”
I give him a pointed stare. “Really? That’s it?”
“I said I’m sorry.” He smirks. “Come on, Ava. I’m a jerk, we know this. Didn’t Riley warn you off?”
“He did.” I rub my lips together. “What can I get you?”
“The special and another chance.” He smiles. “Please. You deserve better than what I did to you.”
As I’m about to reply, the door swings wide as Riley storms in. And here I am waiting on Dax. My ears begin to fill with a pounding sound, and my hands tremble at my side. As my pulse races, his feet travel faster across the room.
“You, motherfucker, outside.” I glare at Riley as he turns toward the door.
“Dax, you don’t have to do this.” I narrow my eyes at Riley’s back.
“Oh, but I do.” Dax stands, adjusting his sleeves.
Steve comes from the back, glaring at me. Apparently, quitting won’t be my choice. I follow the two assholes outside, hoping to stop whatever nonsense this is. “Riley, go home,” I yell as soon as I clear the door.
Dax antagonizes him. “Please, Riley. Go home.”
“Dax, don’t.” I stare daggers at him. “Riley, what’s this about?”
He points at Dax. “He knows damn well what it’s about.”
“Go on, Riley. Tell us why you're pissed.” Dax grins at Riley, I glare at him.
“Ava, go inside. This is between me and my so-called friend.” I wheel around on Riley.
“Who the fuck do you think you’re talkin’ to?” Dax begins to chuckle, and this thing blows up.
“Dax knows good and damn well what I’m talking about.” Riley’s hands are fisted at his sides as his face turns bright red.
“What the fuck are you doing? This is my job, Riley,” I seethe. “Go home.”
“Come on, babe. Let’s hear what he has to say,” Dax teases.
“I’m not your babe. What in the hell is going on with you two?” My face flames as I yell.
“That motherfucker only asked you out to piss me off!” Riley growls.
“You’re just mad because she enjoyed herself.” Dax leans against his car, crossing his arms.
“Wait. What?” I spin on Dax.
“Shut the fuck up, asshole!” Riley yells as he steps toward Dax. Dax isn’t in uniform, but Riley still doesn’t need to be fighting with him. Riley would beat his ass.
“What do you think happened?” I narrow my eyes at Riley. “Hang on. So, accusing me of fucking a random guy last night isn’t enough. Now, you’re gonna say I fucked Dax! Both, in one day?”
“I-I… no, I’m not saying that, Ava.” He steps closer to me. “Dax is only trying to use you. He knows everything about you, and he’s gonna use you.”
“How did he find out?” I’m fuming. I thought Riley might tell him but had hoped our friendship meant more.
“Yes, Riley. How did I find out?” Dax continues to provoke Riley.
“Fuck off!” Riley and I both scream in unison.
“I can’t believe you. You keep playing fucking games with me and the second I can’t feel worse about myself, you accuse me of screwing around. And to make matters worse, you fucking tell my shit to strangers.” He grimaces. “I’m not the one who left with a redhead last night, asshole.”
“He did more than left with her.” Dax’s smugness is getting ready to get him knocked the fuck out.
“Wait. What?” I cut my eyes from Riley to Dax and back again. “You took her home?” I can’t say it.
Riley stares into the depths of my soul, and I know. He’s accused me of screwing two different men in one day, knowing he fucked someone last night.
“Ava, I tried to tell you earlier.” His eyes shift to Dax. “Fuck you. You and I both know what you’re doing.”
I can’t believe this is the same man I’ve known my entire life. My chest feels so tight, I begin to struggle for air as I realize how close I came to trusting him. They’re right. All of them. I’m not worth it.
“Dax, I’m pretty sure I’m about to be fired. If you’ll wait for me, I believe we have some unfinished business.”
“Ava, please don’t do this.” Riley reaches for me. “Please.”
“Don’t.” I back away, knowing what I’m about to do will ruin everything.
I whirl around, making a beeline to the building. I stroll through the front doors to see the general manager waiting for me. “Ava, may I have a word?”
“Sure, while I clock out and grab my purse.” I stare him down as I walk past. He follows me to the back so there’s no scene.
“We will not tolerate the spectacle outside to continue. You’re fired.” Steve’s smug smile pisses me off, and I want to hurt him. The general manager watches me as if I’m going to take something.
“Here’s the thing, those are your members out there. I’m just trying to keep them from beating each other down because Steve has no fucking balls to do it. By the way, don’t touch me ever again, asshole.” Wheeling around, I high-five Nikki on my way out the door.
By the time I pull into the front parking, Riley has Dax on his back. “What the fuck, Riley?”
“He just flipped shit, Ava,” Dax says as he stands, dusting his clothes off.
Riley dodges me to get back in Dax’s face. “Keep it up, motherfucker.”
“Riley. Riley.” I grab his arm, making him look at me. “I’m not yours.”
I regret it the second it leaves my mouth. Riley’s pinched up face melts as he searches my eyes. He looks as though I’m breaking his heart. I don’t know how you can break something you never had, or least know that you had it.
“Let’s go, Ava,” Dax says as he leans around Riley. “Come on.”
Dax gets in his car, backing out as Riley stands mere inches from me, saying nothing. The knots grow tighter in my stomach, and I feel rooted to this spot. I give him every chance to say something. Anything. I want to scream at him to do it now.
The silence is deafening. I’ve never been the girl to need a guy to tell her what to do but right now, I just need Riley to take this from me. My breath hitches when Riley’s shoulders slump. That’s it. I hang my head in defeat as I walk to my car.
I follow Dax out of the parking lot. Looking back at Riley, I hold my chest as I struggle for air. My throat feels as if it’s gonna close. I don’t know what this feeling is, but I don’t like it.
I can’t believe this shit. I
stood here like a jackass and let her drive away. Why in the hell does she have to be this way? I guess because I never gave her reason not to. She gave me the opportunity to say something, and I didn’t.
I can’t stand here waiting for her to come back to me; I’ll go outta my mind. I jump in my truck and spend a few hours driving aimlessly around town. I guess I’m hoping to run into her. Driving past the fire station, I decide to turn around and see if Ford has a few minutes.
Walking into the bay, he spots me first. “Hey, Riley. What’s up?” Ford calls out to me from the truck.
I sigh heavily, shaking my head as I shove my hands in my pockets. “Not much.”
“The hell you say, what did you do?” Ford asks as he climbs down.
“I fucked up.” I hang my head in shame.
“Come on, man, let’s go this way.” Ford motions for me to follow him. Turning the corner of the station, we walk out to the dock. Can’t say I wouldn’t enjoy having his job. “So, what happened?”
“I slept with Red last night, and Dax told Ava. I don’t think that pissed her off as much as me accusing her of sleeping with two men in one day, or the fact that I just got her fired. Or maybe it was me kissing her.” I run my hands through my hair, pulling it on the ends. “Arrrgghhh. How the fuck do I keep doing this wrong?”
“Damn.” Ford shakes his head with a grimace.
“What?” My eyes widen with fear.
“I thought this would feel better than it does?” he says.
“What would?” I ask, mouth agape.
“Telling you—I fucking told you so, dickhead.” He narrows his eyes.
“Fuck you,” I growl as I plop down on a bench. “I know. I’ve gone about this thing as ass-backwards as a person can get.”
“You kissed her?” He grins when he cocks his brow.
“Yeah, finally.” I grin.
“How’d she respond?” He sits beside me.
“She left. And then all the other stuff happened.” I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping to shut my brain off.
Ford looks concerned. “Where she at now?”
“With Dax.” I shake my head. “I think she might sleep with him.”
Ford’s head jerks to look at me. “Why is that?”
“Dax told her I took Red home, and I might’ve implied that I did it because I thought she slept with Dax… and the other guy,” I explain as I rub my neck from the stress.
“Damn.” I look at Ford. He looks like how I feel—shitty.
“I love her. I’d kick someone’s ass if they said that about her, so why did I?” I hold my hands out with question.
“You were hurt. Angry that she kissed you and ran, but she kissed them and stayed,” he says honestly. “Why do you think she did that?”
“I don’t know. Because she’s hurt? Maybe even confused?” I shrug.
“Why would she be hurt? Confused about what?” he questions me for answers I don’t know.
“I don’t know, man. Hurt I would say those things or think them? Confused about how it made her feel? Like, why she would care what I thought of her?” My chest feels tight, and I stretch my neck trying to get air into my lungs.
“Why would any of that matter? What you think of her or how she feels about you?” I know he’s trying to get at something, but damn.
“I don’t know, because she thought I knew her better. Because when we kissed, it was just us. Like we had never kissed another soul.” I stand, feeling frustrated. “Everything ceased to exist, Ford.”
“Something you had never felt before? You love her, and it scared you. You ever think it scared her?” He narrows his eyes.
“Fuck me. No, I didn’t think about all of this scaring her.” I sigh. “Ava’s tough, so if I hurt her, it’s because she cares.”
“The way you talk about her, it sounds like she really doesn’t know love. So, things like jealousy and hurt will be new and confusing.” He’s right.
“Yeah, I’m kissing her one minute and the next, embracing the town gossip.” My chest aches as I drag in a ragged breath.
“It’s time you tell her,” Ford urges me. “You also need to help her find a new job.”
“I know. But I have to apologize first.” Turning to Ford, I punch him in the arm.
“What the fuck was that for?” His brows pull low as he rubs his arm.
“For being right all the time.” We laugh together as he walks me out.
I spend several hours driving around town aimlessly, considering all the advice the guys have given me. I swing by Ava’s every half hour or so. I wish she’d just get home. Around midnight, I give up and head home for the night. I try to sleep, but my mind keeps racing. Since I’m awake, I might as well try to find a place of my own.
And then there’s the million-dollar question, do I stay here for work or leave again. If I decide to leave, there’s no reason to get a place of my own because I may never come back. Staying here wouldn’t be my best option.
I do as much work from my laptop as I can, including looking for a job for Ava. I fall asleep around three am, dreaming of her. By the time my alarm goes off, I’m exhausted from lack of sleep. The last few days the backdrop to every waking thought and now, my dreams. I’m wrecked.
The first thing I want to do is check on Ava. Again, I drive by her house and see she’s home. Dax’s car is nowhere in sight, which makes me happy. At the next stop, I see Brannon. Once he spots me, he waves me down.
“Have you seen Ava?” Brannon glares at me, his face growing red.
“No, but she’s home. I just drove past,” I explain.
“Thanks.” Brannon spins his tires as he takes off down the same street I just came from. What the fuck is going on? Whipping my wheel around, I speed back down the road.
Driving up to Ava’s apartment, I watch as Brannon rushes to the door, immediately pounding on it. What in the hell does he think he’s doing? I jump out, running to them as Ava swings the door open and Brannon steps in.
The closer I get, the louder the voices become. I walk in on world war three in progress, silently closing the door behind me. Everyone doesn’t need to hear this shit. I’m not sure I wanna hear this shit. Fuck, he’s pissing me off.
“What’s going on? I want to know now. No bullshitting me, Ava,” Brannon rants as his face turns a darker shade of red.
“It’s none of your fucking business, Brannon. Now, get the hell out of my home,” Ava yells at him, her face flaming.
“My wife paid for this damn place. Now, what the fuck are you hiding? I’m not cleaning up your mess, Ava. Not again.” Brannon shakes his head. Bile rises in my throat; I could punch his ass.
“You know what? Fuck you, I’ll leave.” Ava steps around Brannon to see me standing there. “Great. Just fucking wonderful. What?” She levels me with a glare. My stomach drops, and I’m sick for an entirely different reason.
Holding my hands up, I speak calmly and quietly, “I’m here for you.”
“Oh, like you were yesterday?” Ava spits at me with gritted teeth. I bite my cheek because yeah, I deserve that.
“Don’t evade, Ava. Why did you lose your job? Where have you been?” Brannon growls. “You couldn’t even answer your damn phone. What happened to you being a better mom?” I grind my teeth as heat flashes over me. No more.
“Hold the fuck up, asshole.” I step between him and Ava. “You’re not talking to her like that.”
“I can take care of myself, Riley.” She pushes on my arm. Turning to her, I gaze into her hurt-filled eyes.
“I know you can, but he’s not gonna stand in your goddamn home and talk to you like this. I’ve watched you my whole fucking life letting people treat you like shit, and that stops today.” Her eyes grow soft as they fill with tears. I turn my sights back on Brannon. “You, of all people, are gonna believe the fuckin’ gossip in this town?”
“Did she get fired yesterday?” Brannon huffs.
“She did. It was my fault.” I shake my head. “I kissed
her, and she ran. I followed her to work and found Dax there with her. I assumed she was with him. I assumed she had slept with him the evening before. Fuck, I even accused her of sleeping with another guy the night before. Why? Jealousy. I was so goddamn jealous of them, of you, that I allowed the fucking assholes in this town to sway my belief in her.
“Ava’s who she is. She shouldn’t have to apologize for surviving the only way she knew how. You allowed it, Brannon. Everything that ever happened between you, you’re each responsible for. She didn’t do a damn thing, you didn’t let her do. And this damn town has always been happy to use her for gossip and any fucking thing else they wanted. So, no. You nor any other person gets to judge how this girl chose to survive. Fuck you for trying. And me. Yeah, I’m the worst of them all.”
Brannon stands stunned. His eyes snap from mine to Ava’s, standing just to my side. “Is that true?” She nods. “Why didn’t you answer your phone?”
She sniffles before clearing her throat. “I left my charger at work. I went back for it, but Steve…”
Whipping around, I search her eyes. Oh, hell no. “I’ll kill him.”
Ava grabs my arm, her eyes pleading. “No. I’ll explain later.”
“I told you what I’d do if he touched you again.” My words are cold, teeming with venom.
“What am I missing?” Brannon asks.
“Motherfucking douche she worked with, Steve. He’s mean to her, Brannon. Tells her she’s a whore.” Ava gasps, and I turn my attention back to her. “Yeah. I’ve been checking on you. I told you I would.”
“Are you two…?” Brannon looks from me to Ava.
“No.” I drop my head, and then it hits me. “No, we’re not. I’m as big of an asshole as you are. I don’t deserve her if I can’t treat her better.” I shake my head.
“So, what are you saying?” Brannon presses.
“I love her. Damn, do I love her. I fucking almost hate you because she loved you for so long, she never noticed me for looking at you. I promised myself I would make her fall in love with me when I came back, but all I accomplished was pissing her off, got her fired, and let her leave with a dick who only wants her because he knows what she means to me.”