Howling on Hold

by E. J. Russell

  He studied the bed again. Unless Tanner was an earlier riser these days than Chase, it hadn’t been slept in. Unease snarled Chase’s belly. What if he spent the night with somebody else? Chase had apparently spurned him, after all. Maybe Tanner had already found another lover. The thought made him want to howl and rip the stupid pizza boxes apart with his bare hands.

  It’s your own fault. And Tanner deserves to be happy.

  Chase pinched the bridge of his nose. I could have made him happy. He could have made me happy. But that wasn’t true, was it? Their time here was limited, and the clock was ticking. Chase couldn’t blame Tanner if he’d taken advantage of a chance for some closeness, some affection. Something he didn’t get from me.

  “Chase?” Chase’s head jerked up at the sound of Jordan’s awestruck voice. Jordan snatched his hand behind his back, then edged sideways, clearly dropping something on the floor out of sight. “You’re back!” He bounded into the room as Chase pushed himself to his feet. “Omigods, omigods, Chase! You’re back.” He circled around Chase.

  “Jordan! No butt-sniffing!”

  Jordan snapped upright. “I wasn’t!” He scuffed his bare feet on the carpet. “Okay, I almost was, but I would have remembered. Now that you’re back, I’m sure I would have remembered.”

  Chase fought the urge to laugh and made himself look stern. Ish. “You mean you haven’t remembered for the last three months?”

  “Well.” Jordan scratched his ear. “It’s hard. And that Andrew guy never said anything.” He tilted his head to one side. “Although, come to think of it, Andrew wasn’t around much.” He shrugged. “But so what? You’re back.” He rushed to the doorway and shouted into the hall. “Guys! Chase is back! Come on up!” He whirled. “Will you make waffles like you used to? Andrew never made waffles. Although he let us buy Eggos, so that was sort of okay.”

  “Jordan, have you seen Tanner?”

  Jordan froze, almost in midbounce, his shoulders rounding. He gazed at Chase from under his eyebrows. “Tanner?”

  “Yes. Tanner. The guy who lives in this room.”

  “Oh! Tanner.” He started backing toward the door. “Nope. Maybe he went out. To, you know, shift. In the woods. To run. Or play. You know, with a Frisbee or something.”

  “Jordan.” Chase laced his tone with alpha authority, drawing out Jordan’s name.

  “Okay, okay. It was me, all right?” He ducked out the door and retrieved what he’d tossed on the ground: a Frisbee gnawed so badly it was the size of a very ragged tea saucer. “I’ve been sticking them in here so Andrew wouldn’t notice.”

  Dakota and Gage wandered in from the hall, Hector behind them, blinking blearily as if he’d spent all night coding again. Seriously, did Andrew even bother to check up on them? Chase wanted to hug them all, but he stuck to the current point.

  “Jordan, are all those Frisbees in the closet yours?”

  “No! They’re Tanner’s!” At Hector’s snort, Jordan shrank into himself even more. “I mean, they belong to Tanner, since I gave them to him for his birthday.” He waved the one in his hand. “Except this one. But I know he wouldn’t mind. I’ll replace them as soon as he asks.” He rounded on Hector. “Besides, you hid all your pizza boxes in here, so you can’t give me any crap.”

  Hector edged toward the door. “Everyone shared. It was for gaming nights.”

  Dakota huffed. “Dude. Every night was gaming night. Every day too, except when Mal and Dr. MacLeod came by for lessons.” He made a disgusted face. “But that didn’t happen much either, since Andrew didn’t bother to schedule them.”

  Chase took a deep breath. “Let me get this straight. You’ve been doing nothing since I’ve been gone but playing video games and falling off the toy and nutrition wagons?”

  “Not all the time,” Jordan said, ever helpful. “We only got back from break a few weeks ago. Although”—he ducked his head—“I kinda destroyed some Frisbees back at my pack compound too.”

  Gage nudged Jordan in the ribs. “Where’d you hide those?”

  “I, um, dug a hole.”

  Everyone—with the notable exceptions of Jordan and Chase—guffawed.

  “Course you did,” Dakota said.

  “I filled it in!” Jordan’s tone was indignant. “There was a reason.”

  Chase held up his hands. “Guys. Can we focus a minute? Does Tanner mind that you’re using his room to hide your guilty pleasures?”

  “He never complained,” Hector said, scratching his ample belly under his T-shirt.

  “How could he complain?” Gage asked. “He’s not here.”

  “I know he’s not here now,” Chase said, “but when you spoke to him after he got back from break—”

  Jordan plopped onto the bed. “Oh, Tanner never goes home for breaks.”

  Alarm skated up Chase’s spine, sending every hair on his head to attention. “What do you mean? I’m always the last one to leave for breaks, and I always make sure the house is empty.”

  “We’ve all got keys, so maybe he comes back after you’re gone? I don’t know, but he told me it’s too much trouble to make the trip,” Jordan said, restored to his usual ebullience. He pulled his mouth to one side, wrinkling his nose and squinching his eyes. “Although it’s just as far to my compound as his, and my dad always picks me up.”

  Chase held very still, willing his shift to recede. “So what you’re saying is that none of you have seen Tanner since you got back?”

  “Tanner’s missing?” Hector peered around the room, his lips moving as he counted everyone off. “I thought he was just on a pizza run.”

  “Dude. That was me,” Dakota said. “Or Gage.”

  Jordan bounced on the bed. “It couldn’t have been Gage. He brought those fish and chips.”

  Hector and Dakota made gagging noises, and Gage said, “Bite me. You guys really need to try seafood. I’m telling you, a nice grilled salmon? Maybe some steamed clams?”

  “Shut up, shut up!” Hector wailed. “You’re making it worse!”

  “Guys!” Chase shouted, terror shredding the last rags of his control. “Focus! When was the last time you saw Tanner?”

  “I think . . .” Dakota exchanged a glance with Hector. “His birthday? At the Bullpen?”

  Chase’s stomach dropped like a bezoar. “Are you sure? He didn’t come home that night?”

  Gage shuddered. “I try not to think about that night. Besides, they hustled us all out of here the next day. Early break, they said.”

  “I texted him a couple of times,” Hector said, “to ask if he’d had a chance to review my code, but he never even opened the messages.” He screwed his mouth up, rubbing the back of his neck. “Which now that I think of it, isn’t like him. I mean, even if he thought the game was crap, he’d have told me so I could fix it. He’s good that way.”

  “Has anyone called his pack? To see if he’s there?” They shook their heads. “Are you telling me that Tanner might have been missing for three whole months?”

  Dakota met Chase’s no doubt furious gaze. “How were we supposed to know, Chase? It’s not our job to keep track of him. He’s an adult now.”

  “Yes, but you’re his friends.”

  “So are you,” Dakota returned.

  “But I wasn’t here.” Chase whirled and punched the wall. Ow, gods damn it. He shook out his hand, the knuckles starting to ooze blood around the drywall dust. “They wouldn’t even let me call you.”

  “Maybe you should call his pack now,” Jordan said. What kind of screwed up world is it when Jordan is the voice of reason? “His uncle sent him that signet, remember? Maybe he’s already gone back to start being the alpha for his pack.”

  “I don’t think so,” Gage said. “There was a pack council meeting just after solstice. The alphas and seconds from all the Oregon packs were required to be there, and my dad was complaining because Wallowa was still being represented by Tanner’s uncle, even though Tanner was of age.”

  Chase took a breath. D
akota was right. This wasn’t their responsibility. It was Chase’s. “I’ll call Tanner’s pack now. There’s no need for us to panic until we’re certain he’s really missing.”

  “Panic?” Jordan whined low in his throat, and Chase mentally smacked himself in the forehead. The surest way to sow panic was to show it—or even mention it.

  Chase strode over and gripped Jordan’s shoulder. “Panic is what we’re not going to do. While I make the call, you can clear the deceased Frisbees out of Tanner’s closet, and Hector can dispose of all those pizza boxes. I’ll meet you all downstairs as soon I’ve spoken with Tanner’s uncle.”

  The guys all nodded. Jordan and Hector got busy in Tanner’s room while Gage and Dakota retreated to the downstairs and upstairs bathrooms respectively.

  Chase marched down the stairs and headed to his room. He placed his palm against the door for the required five seconds, and when the MagiLock disengaged, he walked in. Everything was exactly as he’d left it that morning in November. Since he’d been in denial after the board’s decision, and he had enough clothes back at his pack compound to see him through his suspension, he’d only asked for his laptop and cell phone charger to be brought to him in his exile. Consequently, there was a slight mustiness in the air from his unwashed laundry, and a faint whiff of stale vomit from the shoes he’d been wearing the night of Gage’s, er, incident. Home.

  To make himself feel more official and authoritative, he sat at his desk, his feet planted flat on the floor, before he punched up the Wallowa pack number on his cell phone. The call connected after only two rings.

  “Wallowa. State your business.” The man who answered growled as if he were partially shifted.

  “I’d like to speak to Patrick Lassiter, please. This is Chase Denney from Howling Residence Seven in Portland.”

  “Hold on.”

  Chase waited for at least five minutes, his tension ratcheting higher as each minute flicked by on the digital clock on his nightstand. Finally, a smooth voice said, “This is Patrick Lassiter.”

  “Yes. Hi, Mr. Lassiter. I’m Chase Denney, the RA from Tanner’s Howling Residence. I was wondering—”

  “Ah. Mr. Denney. I’m so glad you called. I was planning to contact you shortly in any case.” Lassiter chuckled warmly. “I understand Tanner completed all his requirements in good order?”

  “Uh, yes. He passed all his exams with flying colors.”

  “I’d expect no less.” Lassiter’s voice was fond. “Tanner’s a good boy. A bit of a daydreamer, perhaps, but weren’t we all when we were young?"

  “I suppose. But I need to ask—”

  “I’ve been intending to arrange for Tanner to move home ever since he came of age, but we had an unexpected early snowstorm right before Thanksgiving and we’ve been snowed in until recently.” Another warm chuckle. “You folks west of the Cascades have far easier winters, I understand.”

  “Yes, we do. But—”

  “It’s probably as well that Tanner wasn’t here over the winter. As a child, he had a distressing susceptibility to pneumonia. I’m sure he’s grown out of it by now, but no sense tempting fate, eh? We wouldn’t want him to be ill for his Ascension ceremony, would we?”

  Chase swallowed, his mouth dry and throat tight. Tanner’s not there. They don’t know where he is. Nobody knows where he is. “No. Of course not.”

  “Today we got hit with another snow squall, but as soon as the roads are clear, we’ll drive down to Portland and help Tanner move home. I’d like to meet you and see where he’s been living the last few years. I remember my own Howling fondly. My son completed his last fall, and it’s done him a world of good. I’m sure Tanner will be similarly improved.”

  He doesn’t need improving. He’s fine the way he is. “Very well. Would you— I’m sure Tanner would like to be ready for you when you arrive. Although you’re still not allowed to contact him directly—”

  Lassiter laughed heartily. “Ridiculous rule, isn’t it? I suppose it made more sense back in the day when direct contact meant face-to-face, with all the dangers of alpha coercion and what-not, but today, with cell phones, and Skype, I think the Assimilation Board could relax that stricture a bit, don’t you?” He hummed low in his throat. “Maybe I’ll propose that at the next council meet— Or rather, I’ll suggest that Tanner propose it, since he’ll be firmly in the saddle by then.”

  “Of course.”

  Another chuckle from Lassiter set Chase’s teeth on edge. “I’m sorry. I’ve been rambling on, haven’t I? My sister, Tanner’s mother, always told me I could talk the hind leg off a beta. But there you are. Can’t teach an old wolf new tricks, eh? What was it you were calling about?”

  “We’ve covered it, thank you.”

  “All right, then. I’ll be in touch. Keep up the good work.”

  Chase disconnected the call, unclenching his fingers to let the phone drop to his desk. He had to force himself to stand, his legs feeling as if they were filled with sand. He trudged down the stairs to find the guys all gathered in the living room. They weren’t talking, and even Jordan was still. All of them stared at him, waiting for him as the de facto alpha to speak and tell them it would all be okay.

  Except he couldn’t do that. Because Tanner was missing.

  “I’ve just spoken with Tanner’s uncle. Tanner is not at his pack compound.” All of them whined, and Jordan let out an abortive howl. “Since it appears that nobody has seen him since the night of his birthday when he was still under Howling jurisdiction”—still my responsibility—“it’s up to us—to me to report his disappearance to the Assimilation Board and the pack council.”

  Jordan raised a tentative hand. “Wouldn’t it be better to tell them he was missing after we find him?”

  “How do you propose we find him? It’s been three months. Any scent trail he left from the Bullpen will have gone cold by now. We have to assume—” Chase’s throat closed on the words. He swallowed and forced himself onward. “We should assume that Tanner met with an accident or foul play. Otherwise he would certainly have come back.” Gods, this is my fault. I made him feel like he wasn’t safe here. “Or at least contacted his pack.”

  Dakota frowned thoughtfully. “I’m not so sure about that.” He turned to Gage and Hector. “Don’t you remember? That night at the Bullpen, after Chase went down to rescue Jordan—”

  “Hey! I could have rescued myself!”

  “—and before Gage was stupid enough to set off the alarms—”

  “I said I was sorry!”

  “—Tanner told us that he’d rather live packless than go back to his compound.”

  Another round of whining greeted Dakota’s announcement.

  “But he has to go back,” Jordan whispered. “Everybody always goes back. At least the males do. And Tanner’s an alpha. Don’t they, like, die if they’re separated from their pack?”

  Hector shook his head. “That’s an old wolf’s tale. Besides, Tanner doesn’t want to be the pack alpha. At least not out in Imnaha. He hates it there.”

  “I don’t think we can assume Tanner is missing of his own free will.” Chase tucked his phone back into his messenger bag. “We need to find him and hear from him directly what he wants.”

  Dakota shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweats. “How do we find him? You already pointed out that the trail’s gone cold.”

  “It has.” Chase looped the bag over his shoulder and regarded them, his jaw tight. “That’s why we’re getting professional help.”

  Once he made the decision to seek discreet, non-pack help, Chase didn’t waste any time. The guys clamored to come with him, but fear for Tanner infused Chase’s backbone with steel. With a telling glance at the backyard, he appointed Dakota in charge and gave them the task of filling in all the holes.

  “Because I’m calling Dr. MacLeod today to get back on his schedule, and you really don’t want him to see that, do you?”

  So, not quite an hour after discovering Tanner’s disappearan
ce, Chase stood on the sidewalk in front of Quest Investigations alone. He caught his reflection in the glass doors— Gods, I look younger than Jordan.

  Well, that’s what bone-deep terror and remorse would do to you. The way weres aged, Chase would keep maturing until he hit about thirty or thirty-five, then look pretty much the same for the next century or so. He wished for a little of that gravitas now. Would the fae who ran Quest Investigations take him seriously? One of them was a prince, for Remus’s sake, and the other one . . . Well, the other one was Mal, who at least knew Chase as somebody with marginal authority.

  I’ve never lied to him before though. Could Chase manage it? Lying wasn’t something that came easily to him—for one thing, there wasn’t much point. Eventually people found out the truth, and then they were pissed as well as hurt or disgusted.

  But some instinct—or maybe it was just guilt—warned him to keep Tanner’s disappearance under the were radar, especially from Tanner’s pack. Time enough to tell them when I—when we find Tanner and listen to his explanation. So Chase smoothed the front of his jacket. Straightened his lapels. Brushed the hair off his forehead. Tried to at least pretend he had the right to act on Tanner’s behalf.

  Quest Investigations didn’t look intimidating from the street. Nothing more than a glass-doored vestibule tucked between a falafel restaurant—not mentioning that to Hector—and a New Age bookstore that appeared no different than any other trendy, slightly pretentious Pearl District shop, but was actually run by a witches’ collective, the same one who’d run a supe matchmaking agency until recently. There’d been some kind of fuss and scandal about it during Chase’s suspension, but he’d been too busy brooding to pay much attention.

  Flanked by the aroma of falafel on one side and a whiff of sage smoke on the other, he pushed open the door. The faint tingle as he crossed the threshold reassured him somewhat: he was in the right place, and the company took their security seriously. Good. But then, Mal Kendrick was a Sidhe lord, formerly the official enforcer for the Queen of Faerie—and he was engaged to Dr. MacLeod. Quest had resources that Chase couldn’t hope for on his own.