Hand On Heart: An Unputdownable British Crime Thriller (DI Benjamin Kidd Crime Thrillers Book 5)

by GS Rhodes

  Kidd knocked on the door. There wasn’t a car on the drive so he wasn’t sure that anyone would answer, but he soon heard the sound of footsteps clattering down the stairs. The door opened to reveal Suzanne Grant. She was smiling, at least initially. Once she realised who it was her face quickly changed to a look of absolute confusion.

  “I didn’t expect I’d be seeing you again so soon,” she said, a little shake in her voice. “Harrison has gone out to get some shopping.”

  “That’s perfectly okay,” Kidd said. “I was wondering if, on the off chance, Caleb had materialised just yet.”

  Suzanne narrowed her eyes at them. “No, not yet,” she said. “I sent him a message shortly after you left to say that you’d like to speak with him but I never heard back. Is everything okay?”

  That was possibly the worst thing that Suzanne Grant could have done. If he was responsible, there was no way he was going to come home, not now that he knew that the police were looking for him. But he couldn’t exactly blame her for it. She almost certainly didn’t see her son as a brutal killer. Nobody ever did.

  “Not a problem, Mrs Grant,” Kidd said through gritted teeth. He didn’t want the frustration to show but he never was good at hiding his emotions. “We’ll just have to catch him some other time. Do let us know when he comes home, won’t you?”

  “Of course,” she said. “I won’t hesitate.”

  Kidd and Sanchez returned to the Incident Room, hoping that someone else on the team would have had a little more luck when it came to figuring out what on earth was going on. But the day was drawing to a close, and beyond a small amount of information regarding Philippa’s flat just outside of Twickenham, they had nothing else to go on.

  Despite multiple calls, and even a second visit to the property, Michael Earle was still nowhere to be found. Philippa’s flat had no signs of forced entry or any sort of struggle inside. Kidd didn’t anticipate them finding much else there. If Philippa was friends with Caleb, there would be no need for forced entry, possibly not even a need for a fight if he played it correctly. Even with Simon looking for more information on Phil Jackson, they had reached a dead end.

  As the day drew to a close and members of his team started clocking out for the day, Kidd’s mind was running faster than he could even begin to keep up with. Like most cases, it was appearing to him like a puzzle. At the moment, he had all the edges, but the middle was a mishmash of shapes that he still needed more information to be able to bring together. It was swirls of colour, no obvious pattern. And he got the distinct impression that they were running out of time.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  As much as Kidd would have liked the drama of his day to be over, even as he left the police station he knew that there was something else that he needed to do quite urgently. He had made promise after promise that he would talk to Craig about what was going on and was yet to make good on any of them. And now, with what had happened during his phone call with Andrea, there was no choice but to act, to confront him.

  He found himself dawdling home, taking his usual route down by the river which he knew took him a little bit longer but it always made his walk nicer. The sun was taking its time going down, the long nights of summer just around the corner. Often, that meant a little more trouble for him, but he didn’t mind it so much. He preferred the summer to the alternative. There were few things Kidd liked less than being cold.

  There were already lights on when he got to his house, and he was sure that Craig would be in.

  No use putting it off, he thought. And certainly no time like the present.

  He took a deep breath and opened the door, kicking off his shoes and hanging his jacket on the banister, ready to be taken upstairs. He put his bag down quietly, listening for signs of life.

  Craig’s voice was carrying a little from the dining room. It sounded like he was agitated, and whoever he was talking to seemed to be giving as good as they were getting.

  “Please, you have to help me, I… I don’t know what…” He stopped talking as whoever was on the other end of the phone talked back. Kidd couldn’t hear what was being said. He was desperate to find out. Kidd pressed his ear a little closer to the door.

  “I understand,” Craig said eventually. “No, I really do, I… please don’t. I am begging you don’t—” He took a moment, listening to whoever was on the other end of the phone. “Thank you. And if you hear from Billy, can you—?”

  He stopped suddenly, and Kidd realised that he had leaned a little too hard on the dining room door and it had started to open a little. He had no choice but to make an entrance or risk being caught spying. With one last deep breath, Kidd walked into the dining room

  Craig was dressed in an old, tattered, stripy tee and a pair of grey jogging bottoms. He looked stressed, his eyes wide as they stared at the door, his hair looking like he had just rolled out of bed to have this phone conversation.

  “Everything alright?” Kidd asked.

  Craig hung up the phone and put it in his pocket. “Fine, yeah,” he replied. “Were you… were you spying on me or something?”

  “No,” Kidd replied flatly, maybe a little bit too quickly to be convincing. “I heard voices, raised voices might I add, and I thought there was something wrong.”

  “The door opened very slowly.”

  “Must have been a breeze from the front door opening and closing,” Kidd replied. The night was still. There was no way it could have been a breeze but he wasn’t about to let Craig know what he was really doing. “Who was on the phone? Is everything okay?”

  Craig looked panicked, but only for a split second. Kidd knew he’d caught him out here.

  “Andrea,” Craig said quickly. “It was just Andrea trying to get me to… to come over again tonight. But I’ve been there so much, I’m just tired. I want a night in, you know?”

  “Yeah, totally,” Kidd replied. It was disappointing. He could feel it running through his whole body. There was a part of him that hoped that Craig would just come out and tell him the truth, tell him what was really going on, instead of continuing to string him along like this.

  Craig kept his eyes locked on Kidd’s.

  Does he know that I know? Kidd thought.

  “So, how was your day?” Craig asked. “You seemed a little stressed when you left the house this morning and…” He looked Kidd up and down. “I don’t know what to tell you, Ben, but you look a little bit tense now. No offence.”

  “None taken,” Kidd replied. “It’s been a hard day. And it just seems to keep on getting harder.”

  Craig blinked. “How’s that?”

  Kidd sighed. “Who was on the phone, Craig?”

  Craig opened his mouth to respond, searching for the words but apparently coming up with absolutely nothing. “I told you who it was,” he replied quietly. “It was Andrea.”

  “Who was it really?”

  Craig looked taken aback.

  “Christ, Ben, what is your problem?” Craig groaned. “I was on the phone to my sister who is being a classic pain in the arse. You might think you know her just because you spent some time with her, but you don’t alright?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Craig seemed to be searching for the words again. Kidd could practically hear the cogs turning over in his head.

  “It means that you should just leave me alone,” he said. “I’m handling it. I’m fine.”

  “Handling what?”

  “My life.”

  “Craig—”

  “Ben, let it go!” Craig shouted, his voice cracking a little. Craig never shouted. It wasn’t a sound that Kidd was used to hearing so having it in his house was definitely jarring. He never yelled. Was he moody? Yes. Did he snipe at Ben occasionally? Absolutely. But he never yelled. If that wasn’t a sign that something was seriously wrong, Kidd didn’t know what was.

  “I’m trying to help you,” Kidd said. “I’ve given you somewhere to stay, I’ve let you try and figure things ou
t, but now—”

  “Now, what?” Craig interrupted, starting to pace back and forth behind the table. A lion locked in its cage. “Now you have a right to know what’s happening in my life?”

  “Well—”

  “You have no right, Ben, no right at all! Just get off my back and let me figure this out, okay?”

  “I can’t,” Kidd barked. It was enough to stop Craig in his tracks. He stared at Kidd. “You’ve got to let me help you, Craig. I know something is going on, something that is way bigger than you’re willing to let on and I can’t let you go through it all by yourself. And if you’re putting me in danger simply by being here—”

  “I don’t have to be here,” Craig interrupted. “I could go somewhere else. I didn’t ask you to take me in.”

  “No, you didn’t, but you did come and find me,” Kidd said. “You sought me out, you tracked me down, even though I’d been trying to find you for years. And now that you’re here, you’re not even going to tell me what’s wrong? I could help you Craig, please, for the love of God, let me help you.”

  Craig took a deep, shuddering breath. Kidd could see the weight of what was on his mind pulling him down. It was almost too much for him to bear looking at. He’d seen Craig at his best, he’d seen him at his worst, this was somehow even more terrible than even his darkest moments. What had he done? Why was he here?

  Craig shook his head. “I can’t. You have no idea how much I want to, but I just can’t, alright?”

  He walked from behind the table, sliding past Kidd in the doorway and heading out into the hall. He heard the door open, but he didn’t hear it close. When Kidd walked to the hallway to see if he was still there, he saw that Craig was gone, and John was standing in his place.

  “What the bloody hell was that all about?”

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  There was no simple answer to what the bloody hell that was all about. John had come around with something quick and easy for dinner, so while they made it together in Kidd’s kitchen, he explained everything that had happened over the course of the day. How he had tried to talk to Craig in the morning, how he had called Andrea wondering if she would be able to help, only to find that she didn’t even know Craig was back in town.

  “You’re joking,” John said as he poured the sauce into the stir fry, squeezing the pouch to get every last bit of liquid out. He licked his finger before throwing the packet away. “So she had no idea?”

  “She was talking to me about the two of us getting together to start looking for him again,” Kidd replied. He was leaning back on the counter. As much as he would probably tell Sanchez that he and John cooked dinner together that night, John had done most of the cooking, Kidd had done a lot of talking. His mouth was dry.

  “Did you tell her?”

  Kidd shook his head. “No,” he said. “I was surprised. It seemed completely beyond the realm of possibility that she wouldn’t know that Craig was back. He’d been seeing her most nights over the past couple of weeks.”

  “Or so he said.”

  “Well,” Kidd said, shrugging. He grabbed a glass from the cupboard, running himself a glass of water from the tap. He chugged it before turning back to John who was looking at him with puppy dog eyes. “What are you looking at me like that?”

  John sucked in air through his teeth. “I don’t think you’re going to like it if I tell you,” he replied.

  “Well maybe I need to hear it,” Kidd said, getting another glass of water. He started to sip this one.

  John kept his focus on the wok, stirring the meat, vegetables, and noodles into the sauce, doing his utmost not to look at Ben. “I think you need to tell her.”

  “Andrea?” Kidd asked.

  John nodded. “I think so,” he said. “I mean, it might feel like a betrayal—”

  “Absolutely, it does.”

  “But you’re getting nothing from Craig,” John said with a shrug. “You already phoned her this morning intending to get information out of her, didn’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “So what’s the difference?”

  “The difference is, Craig has lied to me,” Kidd replied. “He told me that he’s been staying with her when that couldn’t be further from the truth. She doesn’t even know he’s here.”

  “Then maybe it’s your duty, as her friend, as someone who was also looking for him, to tell her,” John said. “Look, Ben, how did you feel when you were looking for Craig and coming up with nothing? And keep in mind you don’t need to be too emphatic about this.”

  Kidd cracked a smile. “When I was coming up with nothing, it was devastating,” he said. “I didn’t know if he was alive or dead, I had no idea where he was and… it just hurt me. Sorry.”

  “What are you sorry for?”

  “I don’t want you to think that I don’t lo—” Kidd cut himself off. “I don’t want you to think that I don’t care about you because we’re talking about Craig.”

  “I don’t think that.”

  “Good.”

  “Okay,” John said, turning his focus back to the stir fry doing his best to hide a smile. “Well, if that was how you were feeling, Andrea has probably been feeling that too. Maybe feeling it even worse. She is his sister after all.”

  Kidd nodded along.

  “So maybe the right thing to do for Craig, and for Andrea, is to tell her where he is,” he said. “There might be some grand reason why he’s not told his sister, and maybe that’s got something to do with why he looked for you instead of looking for her, but you’re running out of options here.”

  “I think it’s the only option I have left,” Kidd said quietly.

  John smiled a lazy sort of smile. “Then I think you know what you have to do.”

  Kidd let out a heavy breath and leant against the kitchen counter. “Yeah, I do,” he said. “There’s just something about it that sets me on edge. I don’t understand why he wouldn’t just tell her it. It doesn’t seem right to me.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “They were always really close,” Kidd said. “It wasn’t surprising to me that Andrea was the only member of the family who wouldn’t accept that Craig was gone forever. So for him not to tell her… It just feels like it must be something huge.”

  “Well, if they’re as close as all that,” John replied, “then it’s best that she knows, isn’t it? She might be able to help.”

  Kidd nodded. He knew John was right, but there was still something about it that didn’t sit right with him. He couldn’t quite explain it. He tried to shake it from his head. Tonight wasn’t about Craig, at least it wasn’t supposed to be. They were meant to be having a nice night in and here they were talking about his ex.

  For tonight, at least, he would put it out of his head. He would get to the bottom of it at some point, hopefully, sooner rather than later.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Kidd awoke the following morning with John asleep on his chest. He’d been awake for a little while, his body’s alarm clock making sure he rose with the sun. It meant he was a little bit tired before the day even began, but he wouldn’t trade it for the world, not when he got to have moments like this.

  Eventually, he needed to get moving and woke John up so the two of them could start getting ready for work. Before he took a shower, he made his way across the landing to the spare room, where Craig was staying. He knocked lightly on the door and waited.

  Nothing.

  He knocked again, a little harder this time. Still nothing.

  Slowly, he opened the door and stepped inside, only to see that the bed was made and didn’t look like it had been slept in. He couldn’t say it for certain, but he was fairly sure that Craig didn’t come last home night. It was just another thing for Kidd to worry about.

  He grabbed his phone and sent Craig a quick message.

  KIDD: Hope everything is okay. X

  It wasn’t much. It was barely anything. It was more just Kidd trying to make sure that Craig knew he wa
s there for him. He didn’t want to fight with him. They’d been close once upon a time, of course. But the distance between them just kept getting more and more pronounced.

  He tried to push it out of his head as he got ready for the day, pulling on a fresh suit and heading to the station. There was a case to focus on, and he needed his mind to be there. He hated being pulled in so many different directions, it just meant that no one really got the best of him, and ultimately, Kidd was always the one who would lose in those situations.

  “Well, well, well, back again so soon,” Diane chirped from behind the front desk. “You vanish for a couple of weeks and then we can’t seem to get rid of you.”

  “Like a bad penny,” Kidd replied, forcing a smile onto his face. “You’re in early, Diane.”

  She scoffed. “I think you’ll find it’s you that’s here early, DI Kidd,” she replied. “I’m always here at this time, it’s you that usually rolls in past nine o’clock.”

  Kidd laughed, a genuine laugh, clutching his chest as if she had shot him. “Ouch, Diane, too early for that.”

  She wished him a good day and he did the same before heading down the corridor towards the Incident Room. He was surprised to find that Simon was already there, head down, digging into the case file.

  “Please tell me you went home last night, Simon,” Kidd said. “I don’t want your parents thinking we’re working you too hard.”

  “I went home,” he said flatly. “Just wanted to get back in and carry on, there’s an awful lot in here, you know?”

  “Really?”

  Powell nodded. “There are interviews with Philippa Kay, which, given what we know now, seem to show us just what a fragile state she was in after what happened to Holly.”

  “Anything we can use?” Kidd asked, hanging up his jacket.

  “Just a lot of things missing,” Simon said.

  “Like?”

  “Well, we’ve already talked about Phil Jackson,” Simon replied. “But he does get mentioned quite a lot in here. Michael talked about him, Holly, Philippa, some of her other friends too.”