Now I had this boy, a boy who wore his heart gaping on his sleeve. I had a friend who stood in front of me, telling me she knew the boy and me were right together. How could three weeks change a life so completely? I never saw it coming. Who could have?
“I think I have no choice but to believe we’re right. He refuses to let me believe otherwise. He’s a loon, Bec, but I’m in. I fell. I fought it, but I’m so far in I don’t think I could dig myself out. He scares me, this scares me, but I . . . want. I just want, want it all. Does that make sense?”
“What? Being scared of the unknown but wanting to taste it all the same? Yeah, it makes sense, Radley.” Her eyes drifted away from mine, so sad and completely ruined my heart ached. It hurt to see my best friend lost, not ready to let me in.
Her demeanor quickly changed, a huge smile had her hand cover her mouth as she broke out into laughter. I turned my head to see what had her doubled over in hysterics and threw my head back, matching her snort for snort.
Fucking loon.
Meekai strutted down the hallway like it was a catwalk and we were merely observers. Linc matched his swagger and pulled a megaphone from behind his back. That never ends well.
All of a sudden, It Was Always You by Maroon Five, burst through the P.A. system. I covered my face, the stupidity of the moment stirred up a mixture of embarrassment and complete elation. The compartment of my heart that seemed to exist just for him fell a little harder. I never thought this level of unashamed ridiculousness would be a part of my life. A public grand gesture.
“Now hear this, wenches,” Linc boomed out, not a single fuck to give. “My boy, Meekai James Lannister, is off the market.”
Meekai pointed proudly to his shirt. Tolerated. He winked at me, eyes laser focused as he thumped his fist against his heart three times, mouthing, “You’re mine,” as he kissed two fingers and held them up in the air in some sort of victory salute.
The motion had me repeating, “I volunteer as tribute,” in my head. My thirsty eyes shamelessly ran up and down his body, thinking thoughts I swore he could hear as he gave me a lopsided grin.
“You heard it here first,” Linc continued. “Radley Cooper is officially tolerating Meekai Lannister. Meekai Lannister is officially taking Radley Cooper and bending her ove . . .”
Meekai’s eyes turned livid, the smile momentarily wiped off his face as he slapped the back of Linc’s head.
“Ouch! What the hell man?” Linc whined, rubbing the back of his head. “Fine, there’ll be no bending over, but if anyone objects to said union, I suggest you get the fuck outta here,” he proclaimed.
“What the hell is happening right now?” I whisper-yelled to Becca, nervous laughter taking over.
She turned her head with a smug grin on her face. “That . . .” she began, “That’s a boy chasing love.”
Emotion blazed through me, reality bent in the best way. I moved my eyes back to Meekai and mouthed, “You’re mine, too.”
Right then, a sharp blast of screeching feedback pierced the air through the speakers as the students lining the hallways covered their ears, a collective sound of displeasure bouncing off the dull gray walls.
When the high-pitched noise stopped with the music, two familiar voices, and what sounded like a scuffle, came through the speakers. It was Mrs. Dyke yelling at Brooks.
“Turn that off now!” she demanded. No way, he even lured Brooks into this? I laughed at the bickering and the fact that Meekai had gotten her to participate in this adorable shitshow.
“Oh, rein it in, Anita, you’ll break a lash.” Brooks scoffed in retaliation, right before the speakers fell silent. A hush covered the hallway which only moments ago was overrun with whispers, shouts, cheers and laughter.
“Mr. Lannister and Mr. Beckett, my office, now!” The unimpressed voice of our principal, Mrs. Singleton, boomed in anger as she marched toward them. The school security guard followed close behind and failed miserably as he tried to hide his grin.
Meekai gave me one last wink and mouthed “Later”, as he turned to face Mrs. Singleton, laughing at Linc while he tried unsuccessfully to hide the huge megaphone he no doubt stole from Coach. The security guard circled both boys, disarming the megaphone from Linc, gently pushing them toward a furious Mrs. Singleton’s office.
“Well, they’re toast,” Becca said, turning to me straight faced.
“Completely fucked,” I countered.
“Mrs. Dykes gonna send Brooks back to the pound,” Becca retorted. Both of us laughed our way to the lockers.
A minute later, an announcement from Mrs. Singleton boomed over the loudspeaker.
“All Students. Thanks to Mr. Lannister’s and Mr. Beckett’s stunt this morning, the bell should have rung, and classes should’ve begun ten minutes ago. You can thank them both for cutting today's lunch break ten minutes short to make up for the time they selfishly took from each of you this morning. You have two minutes to organize anything you need from your lockers, and you’re to go straight to class. Tardiness will end in detention. I suggest you get yourselves moving.”
I walked out of the library frustrated and five minutes late for lunch.
Me: Hey, I’m on my way, got stuck in the stacks.
Meekai: Wish I could get stuck in the stacks with you. I’m adding that to my to do list ;)
Me: Perv. I’ll be there in two, on my way.
Meekai: Hurry up, I wanna touch you. I haven’t touched you today.
I wanted him to touch me, too. It was the one thought that had consumed me since Saturday, when we broke past the barriers that I’d put up. In those short few hours we’d spent making our ridiculous shirts, I’d become used to his fingers creeping around me, the stolen kisses that he made sure missed my mouth, the lingering temptation that I never thought would be a temptation at all.
I finally got to the cafeteria and made my way through the doors, dying to reach him. I had this overwhelming need to look at him, to feel him. I smiled at the thought as I looked around to see where he was sitting. Before I even laid eyes on him, my phone chortled with Meekai’s customized ringtone. I smiled. He was relentless.
I didn’t have to look far because a really loud and obnoxious group of idiots, that I now called my friends, had broken out into an obvious and planned attack. Even Brooks joined in as they collectively sang It Was Always You at the top of their traitorous voices.
Fucking Maroon Five.
“Assholes,” I mumbled, a smile on my face as I thought back to this morning’s stunt.
I pressed end on my phone to silence them, but they just laughed at me as I took a seat next to Meekai, his arm instantly snaked around me as he leaned in to whisper in my ear.
“Get used to it, baby.” I could feel his smile against my ear lobe as he gently kissed it. “I want everyone to know you're not an option. You're taken.” I flinched with a jolt of need, the possession in his tone inciting a riot that vibrated through my body. Meekai chuckled like he recognized the struggle. “Hey, it was a toss-up between that or Closer by Nine Inch Nails.”
He laughed as my mouth dropped open. I grabbed the back of his head and yanked down on his perfectly mussed inky black hair.
“I would’ve killed you,” I seethed in mock fury.
“Baby, keep pulling my hair like that and I’ll ignore the rules . . . watch me,” he threatened. He leaned in a little further, pushing my long dark hair aside and kissed the dip between my neck and shoulder, the warm whisper of his breath lighting a trail of goosebumps.
“I think I like pulling your hair,” I returned in a low and sensual tone.
“Baby . . .” He moaned.
I loved it when he called me baby. I loved how he seemed to have so little control. I loved knowing I could trust him even if he had the need to lose it. He let me know I was in control with every moan, groan, and baby that passed through his full, perfect lips. He would never push until I pulled, and even then.
“Can you two stop it? Seriously. I’m trying
to eat,” Brooks snapped in disgust, peeking over the top of today’s book; The Catcher in The Rye by J.D Salinger.
“Naww, the goth child feeling a little needy?” Linc baited.
“What in the court case was that?” she questioned, dramatically holding her hand up, cupping her ear as she pretended to strain to hear him. “No! Not another Quarterback embroiled in a date rape scandal.” Her jaw dropped open, feigning shock as she covered her mouth.
“Psycho bitch,” he laughed.
“You’re the reason this country has to put instructions on shampoo bottles, golden boy,” she told him as she threw a wink in his direction.
Linc began golf clapping as he stood and leaned over the cafeteria table getting as close to her as he could. “And you’re the reason why this country’s adoption rates are so high.”
As soon as the words had left his mouth and left the imprint of their cruel sting, Brooks' eyes glazed over. She slammed her book shut as both Becca and I drew in a gasp, sickened at the cruelty of what he’d just said.
“Linc!” I growled. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I’m . . . shit, Brooks . . . I’m . . .” Linc stammered, falling over an apology that he knew would never be enough.
“It’s fine,” Brooks said, struggling to hide the tremble in her voice, but failing. She hooked her messenger bag over her body and pushed off the table to stand. “You’re right, Lincoln. Now, I suppose you can paint me in the colors of blacks and blues that I was covered in from the countless foster homes I frequented. You wanted to know how best to represent a stray? Wasn’t that how you put it? Now you know. Congratulations, you fucking asshole!”
With that, she slammed down her bottle of water on the cafeteria table, the lid not fastened as it exploded, hitting all of us, but covering him, the damage dripping down Lincs face as Brook’s bolted out of the cafeteria.
We all looked at one another in shock before Meekai spoke up, “Dick move, Linc. You need to apologize. You were totally out of fuckin line.” He shook his head in disappointment.
Linc didn’t reply as he patted down his face with one of Becca’s napkins, grabbed his backpack, and threw his legs over the bench seat as he stood. “I didn’t know,” he muttered, turning towards the cafeteria door and taking off in a slow jog after her.
“I can’t believe that just happened,” Becca said with a huff of disbelief. She gathered her trash from lunch. “I’m gonna go find her. I don’t want her alone, especially if he’s followed her.”
“Do you want me to come?” I asked, reaching for my backpack.
“No, you haven’t even eaten and there’s only ten minutes until the bell rings. I’ll meet you out the front after school?”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “If you need me, message, okay?”
“I will,” she promised.
When Becca walked away, Meekai turned to me, leaning in to kiss my forehead.
“Are you okay?” he asked, concern caught in the crease of his brows.
“It’s not me he just humiliated,” I told him. “But I know how it feels, and I feel sick for her . . . for the irrational thoughts running through her head, questioning herself, her worth, why she’s so easily discarded. I wanted to punch him, Meekai. I wanted to punch him for all the reasons she’s hating on herself right now. I wanna punch him for every time she was forgotten, for every missed birthday and for every I love you she never heard.”
He took me into his arms, tucked my head under his chin and kissed my temple, his lips rested against it, squeezing me tight. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you like that again, Violet. Do you hear me?”
I nodded into his chest. “I hear you.”
I pushed back to look at him, overwhelmed with the need to be closer to him. The way he looked at me was so big and all consuming. He turned me inside out and made me ache for all my firsts that I wished could’ve been with him. My chest throbbed with a physical sting as I thought about how it should’ve been him. How I should’ve been cared for and not torn apart, adored and not reviled, loved and fucking loved some more. Asked and not stolen from.
I cupped the warmth of his face with shaky hands. He looked down at the gentle tremor, his eyes softened as he reached out and ran the backs of his fingers reverently down my cheek. His trailing fingers fell to my waist as I leaned in and pressed my lips to his, ever so slightly. His eyes shut, and I swore I could hear him hold his breath as he let me paint that one promise against his soul, a love letter that told him it was time.
When the warmth of our lips parted and my hands fell away, his eyes opened, his mouth turned up into a lazy smile.
“Come home with me tonight?”
“I’ll go anywhere with you,” I promised.
19
Radley
As I stumbled out of class, my heart dipped into a strum of nerves. I was scared. I didn’t think that would ever not be a part of me, but I trusted Meekai, and I trusted myself with him. What happened to me had nothing to do with something I’d done wrong. I’d never falsely mislead him with my affection. I was targeted.
I trusted my judgement with Meekai because with him, I knew he was bad news. I couldn’t change the fact that I had to go to his house to babysit. You don’t plan to be raped. Just as I knew he was damaged, I knew Meekai had every intention to look after me and keep me safe.
With that thought, my lips stretched into a stupid grin. People gave stupid grins a lot of heat, called them a sign of weakness or being too girly. I wanted to be a little stupid because I knew he wouldn’t take advantage of me. I wanted to be a little weak, because I wanted him to know I could be vulnerable enough to trust him. I wanted to be too girly because I hadn’t gotten the chance to play that role in seventeen years, and right now, I just wanted to be a stupid gushing girl, with a stupid gushing boy, who felt everything at once. The stupid grin was highly underrated.
My phone buzzed in my jacket pocket, and I reached in, taking it out to look at the screen.
Meekai: I’ll be ten minutes. Coach is lecturing me and Linc about today’s stunt and how it could’ve benched us for Friday's game. I won’t be far behind.
Me: I’ll be out front, have to tell Bec that Wyatt will be taking her home without me. They’re not exactly fans of one another, wish me luck.
Meekai: See you soon, Violet. Can’t wait to touch you appropriately ; )
I laughed at his message, at the way he didn’t make a big deal about the physical side of things. Even if I didn’t want us to progress physically, I knew he’d wait for me. He’d told me as he pressed his lips against my forehead before he left on Saturday evening.
He’d said he wanted to earn me; that I shouldn’t let his need dictate my decisions. He’d said he would be weak at times, and that was when I had to be strong because he wasn’t going to take away the one decision I had left to give. He needed to earn that because he knew the gravity and truth behind it. He’d told me a kiss was more intimate than sex. A lot of guys wouldn’t admit to it, but a kiss told a truth that couldn’t lie. Once you handed your kiss over to someone, all the cards were laid face-up on the table, no room for deceit to hide.
“I’ll earn you,” was the last thing he’d said before I watched his Jeep lights trail slowly down Gamma’s driveway. What he didn’t know was that I wanted to earn him too, because even I recognized he wasn’t just any boy, and we weren’t just any ordinary teenage crush.
“Hey,” Becca huffed as she pulled up alongside me. “Ready to get out of here?”
“Hey, you. Did you manage to find Brooks?” I questioned. I’d been worried about her since the shit show at lunch.
“Umm . . .” she pushed out, her lips tossing and turning with whatever she was trying to find the words to say.
“You look like you’re about to have a stroke,” I laughed. “What? Did you find Brooks and Linc naked in an empty classroom?” I joked. Becca’s brows hit the roof like I’d made a direct hit. “No. They were not,” I whispered in shock as I pulled
Becca off to the side to let other students pass.
“They were on their way to making things Biblical, yes. They weren’t quite there, but I wasn’t staying around to watch. I had no idea what to do, to think,” she squeaked. “I’m so freaking confused, Rads.” She shook her head in disbelief until her smile grew into a fit of laughter.
I dragged her out of the school doors and down the stairs, both of us gasping and out of breath, drunk on the fact that miracles did happen, and they were fucking hilarious. I spotted Betty in the parking lot and remembered that I hadn’t broken the news to Becca about me going home with Meekai, and Wyatt being the one to drive her home.
“I’m totally dying to go to Hole in The Wall,” Becca moaned. “Do you think we could take a detour on our way home? I need me a big ass cronut. You know my weakness for donuts.” She drooled.
“Yeahhh,” I dragged out. “About that. Meekai asked me to come to his house. Wants to cook me dinner and have some one-on-one time.”
“What?! No way! It’s cool, I get it. We’ll make a direct beeline for home so you can get all chicka-bow-wowed for your man,” she waggled her brows.
“I’m actually catching a ride with Meekai and he’ll take me home later.”
“Oh, you want me to drive Betty? That’s fine.” She smiled.
“Um, Betty had to go to the shop for the day. She was due for a tune-up, so Wyatt drove me to school and is waiting right over there.” I pointed at Betty’s metallic, baby blue butt. “So, if you don’t mind, Wyatt’s gonna take you home.” I chewed nervously on my bottom lip and waited for her silence to turn into demonic rage.
“Did Wyatt know that he’d be taking me home? Without you I mean?” she questioned, all too calmly.
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