“Where else you gon go?” he asked when she backed herself into a wall. Amiyah trapped herself, then fell victim to his enticing cologne.
“You promised,” she reminded him. He’d promised to respect her wishes—promised to obey the space she needed so he wouldn’t cloud her better judgment. “You said you wouldn't—”
“I tried!” he shouted. Karim mumbled an apology when she jumped. His voice was too deep to shout without warning. “Pretty girl. I fucking tried.” He groaned under his breath like he was in pain. And he was. He’d been holding out from seeing her for the sake of her wishes and his pride. Now, he couldn’t stand it anymore. He needed her.
“You’re breaking me down. Tell me what you need,” he spoke in her ear. His bottom lip grazed her earlobe and she almost lost her mind.
In her head, she gave herself a pep talk to be strong enough and resist him. Her struggle was written all over her uncomfortable face. Amiyah struggled to push him away. Karim was overbearing as he towered over her. His chest was rock hard and touching him gave her butterflies.
“I’m not going to keep explaining it to you, Karim. I can’t. Every time I do, it hurts. Don’t you understand by now?” Her parents were twenty years deep into a beautiful marriage. Even her sister that was twenty-five years young to Amiyah’s twenty-nine years on earth was already engaged to the man she loved. Matrimony meant a lot to Amiyah. To her, it glorified love.
“I do. Then I don’t,” he admitted.
Amiyah looked at him stunned. He was right, he had come to argue. This was the first time he’d responded to a question about understanding what she ultimately wanted to come from their relationship. Karim was finally allowing her to pick his brain.
“I know I haven’t let you down that bad, pretty girl. You know I’m in love with you. In a dream, the Man above shows up every night to make sure I know you’re in love with me, too. What’s the problem? What’s the pressure between us? I’ve given you plenty of rings.”
Amiyah went from swooning over his beautiful words to kissing her teeth. Folding her arms across her small chest, she ignored his gaze and shook her head, disappointed in his last comment.
“Because you’re stalling. You’ve given me plenty of rings to shut me up. How many times can you give me a ghetto ass proposal before you decide it’s time we make it official?”
“Damn. This arguing shit is tiring.” Karim rubbed his hand over his face and huffed.
“Then get out!” She pushed him. It took all the strength she could muster, but she successfully pushed him back. Amiyah didn’t stop pushing him with all her might until they were close to the front door. A few tiring minutes had flashed by before she gave up.
As Amiyah stopped pushing him to catch her breath, she struck his shoulder with her fist. “If we don’t have the same vision...” she cried, failing to express her complete thought.
“You never asked me for my vision,” he muttered through clenched teeth. “Amiyah.” Karim sighed. Amiyah looked in his eyes when he said her name. Karim hardly called her by her first name. It didn’t fit her the way Pretty Girl did.
“Why have you never asked me for my vision?” He was close to her again and she was losing it. He leaned down to speak against her neck. Failing to find the right words, he kissed her collarbone instead. Karim’s soft touch settled her down. His lips against her warm skin mended her aching heart.
“Karim.” She moaned with his lips to her neck. Tears escaped her eyes. Missing him was torture. Amiyah didn’t realize how much she needed him until he returned.
“You missed me,” he stated rather than asking, and then chuckled in her ear. Karim hiked her lace nightgown to her waist and eased his hand up into her wet panties.
When he was there, she didn’t wear any to bed. Karim would only rip them off of her if she did. He requested that she allowed her pussy the chance to breathe overnight. Truthfully, he wanted them nonexistent for easy access to taste her whenever he craved her in the middle of the night.
“Don’t do this to me.” Amiyah’s words told him one thing. Pulling him closer, she contradicted herself with a firm kiss to his lips. They touched each other like it was their final night together. Karim’s hands roamed her slender body aggressively.
Cuffing the biggest thing on her, he squeezed her ass and led them to the bed he missed sleeping in. His older brother’s couch wasn’t doing his back or heartache any justice. The king-sized bed that sat in the middle of their two-bedroom condo was where he belonged.
Karim was tough yet remarkedly gentle. Tossing Amiyah onto the bed, he stripped out of his jacket and flung it across the room. He stared at her lying on the bed and cursed himself. Fathoming a life without her essence was torture. Karim deemed Amiyah his. She was the apple of his eye and she belonged to him.
Amiyah giggled when he ripped her panties, then pulled them from underneath her. If she had a dollar for all the underwear he tore from her body, she would be rich enough to own her very own underwear line.
Karim fell to his knees at her mercy. The bedroom was dark with a strip of the streetlight peering through the slight opening of the curtains. Amiyah lifted on her elbows to see what he was doing. Before she could utter a word, Karim snatched her to the edge of the bed and positioned her legs over his shoulder. Anticipating his tongue on her clit made her moan. Karim commenced by kissing her pussy the way he would her lips. Her clit compensated for her tongue as he swirled his tongue over it.
Amiyah traced her fingertips over his low-cut and cooed. He’d taught her how to relax instead of running from the pleasure. It was a promise she never broke—a rule in their bedroom that she obeyed.
She laid back with her bottom lip tucked between her teeth. Amiyah focused ahead on the ecstasy to come. Her thighs trembled as he indulged passionately and proved just how much he’d missed her.
“Announce it,” he said. Amiyah quivered when he spoke against her pussy. Karim loved hearing her moan, but each time she stuttered and squealed during a powerful orgasm, he fell more in love with her.
“Karim!” She held his head in place and gyrated her hips. His thick beard tickled her clit as he licked every inch of her pussy until she convulsed and screamed his name.
Karim licked his lips and stood with a boastful smirk on his face. Pulling her into his arms, he sat with his back against the headboard. Amiyah pushed her hair behind her shoulders and rested her head on his chest. It was safe there. The safest place she’d been in three weeks.
“Amiyah.” He lifted her hand to his lips for a gentle kiss.
“Hm?” she hummed, struggling to stay awake each second. Her eyes were heavy. Karim had arrived and suddenly, she could fall asleep without an issue.
“I love you,” he whispered against her forehead. Amiyah was already asleep before he completed the sentiment. She snored lightly in his arms, but that never stopped him from talking. Those were the moments he spoke the most. When Amiyah slept, he spoke his peace without fear of interruption, judgement or having her second guess that she was his entire world.
“Marriage doesn’t mean shit,” he whispered harshly. “My mom and dad taught me that. They walked away from each other. They regret taking it that far. She hates everything he stands for, and she blames him for the way me and my brothers took after his hustle. I’m hardheaded, Amiyah. I can’t help that shit. I can try. I just can’t have you grow to hate me after we’re married. Right now, you’re safe. Free to leave me. I can’t tie you down like that, baby. Not when you deserve better than me.” Karim kissed her forehead and sighed. He was expressing exactly what Amiyah needed to hear when she was awake and begging him for some understanding.
In the pocket of his jeans, his phone vibrated. His older brother, Rashad, sent a code word through text that told Karim where to meet him. Karim slid from underneath Amiyah, careful not to wake her. Rubbing over her cheek with the back of his hand, he whispered he loved her a final time, alarmed their condo, then rushed out the door to meet up with his
brother.
Leaving her side was never easy, only necessary to pay to the bills.
Karim
“Aye.” Karim’s older brother, Rashad, snatched a pillow from the couch Karim slept on. He tossed it at his head to wake him up. “Rise and grind, bro. We’re meeting with the realtor in an hour about the building on Ashwood for the club we discussed. Remember?”
“Oh yeah.” Karim stretched his arms out. They’d just gotten in from handling business less than four hours ago. Standing from the couch, he yawned. He dragged his feet to the bathroom in the hallway and slammed the door to run a warm shower.
“You don't remember shit!” Rashad shouted behind him. The seriousness in his tone amused Karim. He joked frequently that he lived his life to get on his brother’s nerves.
Rashad was organized—obsessed with having structure. Karim was wild—impressed with the unexpected thrills in life. They were opposites with how they chose to move and sometimes handle business. If they weren't brothers, they wouldn’t bother to be friends or work together. Nonetheless, their loyalty to each other ran deep. Their meaning of brotherhood was at the top of their lists of importance, no matter how much they occasionally disagreed with each other.
Karim stood underneath the powerful shower-head and sighed. He counted his blessings that he’d saw Amiyah last night. Karim was grateful that the taste of her was back on his tongue, but it wasn’t enough. He missed her already. He could still taste her on his lips. Amiyah’s fetching features populated whenever he closed his eyes.
In his past, he could shake a woman in no time at all. Karim protected himself with shiny steel tucked in his pants and rubbers in his pocket. The code to focus on himself and the empire he aimed to build with his brothers was drilled in his head by his strict father. Since him and his siblings were little boys, their father reminded them every day that falling in love would slow them down and result to an enemy catching them slipping.
Karim broke all the rules when he spotted Amiyah in the mall with a group of her friends. He’d prayed for her to look in his direction to notice him. The moment they locked eyes, Karim approached her, unwilling to miss the opportunity of a lifetime.
Amiyah’s presence humbled him. She wasn’t impressed with him or the expensive articles covering him from head to toe. Karim was the only impressed being between them. The sound of her small voice kept him engage. Amiyah’s flawless, glowing skin had his undivided attention. She hadn’t done anything but walk out of Victoria Secret giggling with a handful of bags and he was hooked. Karim was boastful; he knew he could pull her.
It was a blessing how long he’d held onto her.
“Stop crying in there and hurry up, nigga!” Rashad drank the rest of the milk from his Cinnamon Toast Crunch bowl, then chucked it in the sink.
Karim rinsed his soapy body and huffed as he cut the shower off. His brothers had been teasing him relentlessly over his troubles in paradise. Without telling them anything, they’d found out on their own by his excuses to crash at Rashad’s house for weeks. Hanging out with Karim stopped being fun and thrilling for them. Being around him was now stressful and aggravating. Amiyah had him off his game, and it was evident.
Walking out of the bathroom half dressed, Karim brushed his waves while combing his fingers through his beard. Glancing around the living room for a shirt, he dropped his brush to put on his socks and shoes.
“C’mon, man. My lady showers and gets dressed quicker than this,” Rashad grumbled.
Karim chuckled. “Word? You know what. Never mind. Fuck it. That would’ve been too easy.” Smoothing his hand over his shirt, he searched the living room for his jacket. One of Rashad’s hoodies was the first thing his sight landed on.
“I’m ready.” He grabbed the hoodie and approached the door behind Rashad.
“What you trying to say about my lady?” Rashad inquired as he led them out the front door. Karim only cackled and shook his head.
“Khalil said he’ll meet us on the lot.” Reading over the text Khalil sent, he informed Rashad of their baby brother’s recent update.
“Bet,” Rashad returned.
◆◆◆
Khalil dribbled the ball under his legs, then checked the ball to Rashad. “Should we send Pops a picture of the building to see what he thinks before we sign off on it?”
Karim laced his shoes tightly and stood from the basketball court to stretch. “This man and his father,” he quipped.
Coming in as the youngest brother at twenty-one years old, Khalil reported everything to their father. He looked up to their father as the self-righteous boss he was.
Xavier Lawson had certainly paid his dues and could school his sons on running a business whether legal or forbidden. Karim and Rashad just preferred to leave him out of some things, whereas Khalil thought it was smart to include him.
“Go ahead and do your thing, fam. He gon hit you right back and ruin your dream. Nothing is ever a go for him,” Rashad explained.
Their father was the hardest on Rashad because he was the eldest. As the middle child, Karim received tough love more than anything else. Khalil on the other hand had gotten a lot of patience and praise from their father since he was born. Each relationship with their old man differed, unlike their mother who treated them all the same.
Khalil shrugged their laughter off. “He always knows what he’s talking about.”
Rashad mugged Khalil for a brief moment. He looked away to check the ball to Karim, eyeing him curiously.
“I checked him for a wire when we changed inside the locker rooms, bro. He’s clean,” Karim confirmed.
“Fuck y’all.” Khalil scoffed. “What’s been up with you anyway?” He nodded in Karim’s direction and motioned for him to pass the basketball he was hogging.
Rashad laughed. “He still tripping over Amiyah. Couldn’t be me.”
“Man shut up. The fuck you mean it couldn’t be you? You and your girl are at each other’s throat every night. I been thinking about getting a hotel for some peace and quiet.”
“You should. She won’t let me beat with you in the house.” Rashad dribbled the ball and hit Karim with a crossover to piss him off. “You let little Amiyah run you out the condo you paid for.”
“You always loud and wrong.” Karim stole the ball from him and dashed to the other end of the court. “She wants to get married,” he blurted when he shot the ball and missed.
“Oh shit.” Rashad mumbled and winced. “Yikes.”
Rashad and Karim shared the same logic on marriage. They’d watched their parents struggle to be in the same room together. And now, speeches from their parents on toxic relationships came frequently. The separated duo made it known how much they regretted marrying each other. They blamed society’s far-fetched expectations of marriage on their downfall.
“What’s the big deal?” Khalil looked back and forth from their serious expressions. “Amiyah is a good girl. Mom and dad love her. Y’all been together for a long time and you just turned thirty. Shouldn’t yo old ass be trying to settle down? Both of y’all old asses should be trying to settle down. Aren’t y’all tired of starting over and learning the ins and outs of different women?”
“I don’t think I’m tired of going in and out of different woman just yet.” Rashad smirked.
Karim laughed and interjected on a serious note. “Mom and dad hate each other. You weren’t around yet to see how fast things changed between them. One day they were happy and taking us on trips to Disney. The next, they were throwing glass plates above our heads to attack each other. Shit was wild. I ain’t fucking with it.” Karim shook his head to shake the memories. Every fun childhood memory had been tarnished by their parents overlapping arguments and brawls.
“That’s their story, bro. Doesn’t have to be ours. I’m thinking of popping the question to Serenity.”
“Your childhood sweetheart?” Rashad looked at him strangely. “You want to marry the first and only woman that got your dick wet?”
&
nbsp; “If that’s how we’re putting it, then yeah, I do. You have to show a good woman you love her while you have her. Shit is too chaotic and wild out here to sleep on a real one. I believe Serenity is the one for me. I won’t let fear fuck that up.”
Rashad laughed harder after Khalil’s explanation. Proceeding to tease his little brother on his logic, Rashad didn’t stop until Karim shouted for him to chill and get off Khalil’s case.
“If that’s what you want, I support you, Khalil.” Karim dapped Khalil’s fist and pulled him into a brotherly hug. Their little brother had more heart than them and it discreetly shamed him.
His love for Amiyah scared him. How he could care for and love a woman more than himself didn’t make any sense. It was nearly unfathomable. If he needed to put his life on the line for her, he wouldn't hesitate to do it, yet marriage backed him into a wall. For reasons he didn’t quite understand, the thought of marriage advised him to run.
Amiyah
Karim’s jacket comforted Amiyah during her tedious, ten-hour shift at work. Regardless of the time they’d spent apart, his signature cologne still soothed her. A lot of his clothing and shoes remained on his side of their closet, but the jacket he’d left behind the night prior was fresh. His scent on it was vibrant, protruding and downright stimulating. Amiyah exhaled deeply at her overburdened to-do-list. Karim’s jacket calmed her down and controlled her accelerated heartbeat.
With all the pain she’d endured from missing him, it was safe to assume she was the victim amid their break. Amiyah almost regretted her decision to request space for time to mull over their history.
Karim was the type of man women appreciated whether they received half of him or not. Unwilling to settle, Amiyah continued to acknowledge his fathomless potential. She just wanted more—much more of his whole-hearted love than he’d been giving.
If This Isn't Love Page 2