by Sarah Delany
“You okay?” I ask her, as I look into her eyes.
“I’m good. I promise,” she says, lifting up and kissing me. As I slide out of her, I pull her into my chest and we lie there, relishing being in each other’s arms. After about ten minutes, I suggest we take a shower before her mum comes home. Quickly showering together, I then get changed back into my uniform and she changes into her usual tank top and sleep shorts.
Just as she returns from taking our towels to the bathroom, the front door slams and grabs our attention.
“Tamsyn?” we hear her mum’s worried voice ring through the house. We rush out of the bedroom door and are greeted by her mum, running up the stairs. “Oh thank God, you’re here. The school rang and I was worried as I couldn’t reach you on your phone,” she says, clutching her chest.
“Sorry Mum, I didn’t mean to worry you,” Tamsyn says, cringing.
“Is everything okay?” she asks, looking between us, her eyes settling on Tamsyn. All it does is set Tamsyn off again. She rushes to her Mum’s arms, her tears returning. All the pain she released back at school, is released all over again.
Her mum clutches her in her arms saying, “Shh, it’s okay bub. It’s okay.” She looks at me, questioning me about what’s happened without saying a word.
I softly say, “Vince’s anniversary,” which has her mum’s breath hitching, and her own tears falling.
“Just let it all out,” Tanya tells Tamsyn, as they stand there gripping tightly onto each other. My phone ringing has me reaching into my pocket quickly, not wanting to disturb them. I answer since it’s JP.
“You here man?” I ask him.
“Yeah, I’m outside. You coming?” he asks.
“Yeah, be there in a minute,” I say, before hanging up. “Sweetness, JP is here now. Will you be okay if I leave?” I ask, as her sobs quieten. She moves her head so I can see her bloodshot eyes.
“Do you think you’ll be allowed to stay the night?” my broken girl asks. I look to Tanya for permission and she nods, not wanting to deny her daughter when she’s in this state.
“I’ll ask when I get home. I’m not sure if I’ll be in trouble for cutting class,” I tell her truthfully, knowing my aunt and uncle will probably be gearing up to tell me off.
“Okay, let me know please?” she says.
“I will,” I say, leaning forward and kissing the top of her head and then leaning across, I kiss the top of Tanya’s head too, knowing they could both use the comfort. “Bye,” I say as I walk down the stairs to meet JP so I can go home to face the consequences.
“It’s her dad’s anniversary in a few days,” I tell JP, as soon as I get in the car, knowing it would be his first question.
“Oh shit, she okay?” he asks, worry leaking into his voice as he drives us home.
“She’s a wreck man. Her mum just got home. She wants me to come back tonight but I’ll see if your parents will let me,” I tell him.
“They’ll understand once you explain it to them,” JP says.
His mum is waiting for us once we get inside, arms crossed, her foot tapping on the floor. I spew the explanation at her before she can even start yelling at me for ditching school and her features soften. Her arms unfold.
“Aww poor girl, is she okay?” she asks.
“She’s with her mum now but they wondered if I could go back and stay the night please?” I ask, hoping. She stares at me for a good minute before answering.
“Fine but only because I’m worried about Tamsyn. And no more skipping school or I will tell your parents next time,” she tells me.
“Thanks aunty Sharon,” I say, leaning forward and kissing her cheek. I hurry to my room and get changed. I quickly get my homework done too since I feel guilty about missing the afternoon classes. I knock on JP’s door later and ask if he can drop me off at Tamsyn’s.
When we pull up to the curb I grab both our bags, mine full with my packed uniform for tomorrow. Tamsyn’s swollen eyes greet me as I knock on the door and I draw her straight into my side. We walk up the stairs to her room and hop under the bed covers and settle in to watch the movie she was playing before I arrived. She snuggles into my side, her cheek resting on my chest and that’s how we remain for another movie. In silence, I hold her tight, letting her be with her thoughts. Letting her grieve for her dad all over again.
Chapter 22
-- Tamsyn --
It’s been a few weeks since my dad’s anniversary and I’m back to feeling lighter. It’s amazing what one day can make you feel. Mum and I both stayed home and openly grieved for Dad on his anniversary. We went down to his grave which we both hadn’t been able to face since his funeral. We left some flowers there for him because his grave looked bare, which made me sad and I promised myself I would try to visit him more often now.
Tate came and stayed the night after school too and held me while I cried. Comforting me the best way he could. When I woke in the morning, it was weird. It was like everything had reverted back to normal. There were no more tears or sad feelings churning around. Like a weight had been lifted. Dad’s first anniversary was so heavy. I wonder if all his birthdays and anniversaries will feel the same or if they will get better in time.
Since then Penny, the guys and I have knuckled down and put more work into studying. Our usual sleepovers have become regular study sessions and it’s making us think seriously about the future and what we want to do with our lives. We are now on our two week holiday break before we go back for the last term of the year. We’ve been getting together nearly every day, revising and working on assignments. Scott has turned into a studying general, keeping us in line.
But today we are having a night off as it’s Penny’s eighteenth birthday. She’s throwing a big bash at her place. Most of the school are planning to attend. They always go nuts when they hear there’s a party at hers and this occasion is no exception.
I bought her a new dress to wear as her present so I asked Tate to drive with me over there a few hours early, so I can give it to her. The guys and I are crashing at her place afterwards so Tate will drive my car home for us the next day. My driving has improved and my mum has taken me for some lessons as well but I still need to work on my confidence. Instructor Tate is treating today as another lesson which will be the furthest I’ve driven so far.
We manage to arrive at Penny’s without any hiccups and Tate’s proud smile beams at me as we pull up to her place.
“You’re getting better, Sweetness,” he tells me.
“Thanks, I feel like I’m improving,” I reply.
“I’m sure you’ll be ready to sit your test soon, the way you are going.”
“Thanks,” I reply, leaning across the car to give him a kiss.
He grabs my carefully wrapped box from the back seat along with his smaller wrapped present. Knocking on Penny’s door, she opens it letting us in.
“Happy Birthday,” Tate and I shout, which has Penny laughing at us.
“Hey guys, thanks, come in,” she says. “Follow me, I’ll show you guys to your room down here, if you wanna dump your stuff. If everyone wants to crash together, we can always pull the mattresses out later or something.”
“Cool, sounds like a plan,” Tate says, following behind me. Entering the room, we place our bags on the bed and then turn to Penny. “These are from us,” Tate says, handing over the presents.
“Aww, thanks so much guys. Can I open them now?” she asks, with a twinkle in her eye.
“Go ahead,” I tell her, which is the only motivation she needs before ripping into the paper of my present. When she pulls the A-line, off the shoulder, short baby pink skater dress out of the box, her eyes widen, admiring it.
“Oh my gosh, it’s gorgeous guys,” she says, her eyes dancing with excitement.
“That’s why we had to come over early so you can wear it tonight,” I tell her.
Her huge smile shines at us. “Open the other one.”
She places the dress carefully on the bed before ripping the wrapping on Tate’s smaller package. She pulls out the matching headband we got with pale pink flowers adorning it and some new silver hoop earrings.
“Aww guys, honestly these are amazing. Thank you,” she says, wrapping us both up in a big hug. “I can’t wait to get ready now,” she says, clear excitement leaking out of her.
“Do you need help with any setting up?” Tate asks.
“Nah, I’m not doing anything I don’t usually do. You can help move some of the bottles to the table, but apart from that we are good to go,” she says.
“Well actually, JP sent me with supplies and I have strict instructions,” Tate says, smiling at us. He reaches into his bag, pulling out bags of balloons and a huge gold banner that says, ‘Happy Birthday,’ across it.
“Well we better start blowing these up then,” I say, and we all rip open a packet of balloons and get started.
An hour and a half later, we have so many balloons blown up they take up all the floor space in the living room. It actually looks quite cool, like a moshpit of balloons. Tate and I managed to hang the birthday banner in there too so when people come through the front door, it’ll be the first thing they see.
“I’m gonna go shower and get ready guys,” Penny tells us. She walks down to her room and a few minutes later, we hear the shower starting. Tate wastes no time, his cheeky grin directed at me as he picks me up under my legs and starts kicking balloons out of the way. I giggle as they go flying around us before he drops to the floor, lowering me to the carpet, surrounded by all the different colours. He kisses me with a hunger we both feel these days whenever we are around each other. His body lowers over me and I wrap my legs around his waist, getting lost in the moment. I can feel the latex of the balloons lightly against my whole body as they shift with our movements. The loud bang of one balloon popping pulls us from the moment, our heated gazes look at each other.
“Damn, I can’t get enough of you,” he softly says, giving me a light kiss to my lips before helping me up. We step around the balloons, careful not to pop anymore and then sit on the couch just in time for Penny to come out in her dress.
“Aww you look beautiful,” I tell her, which has her gushing.
“Thanks. I love this dress. I think it’s my new favourite,” she says, twirling around letting the hem swing around her. “Come on you two, go get ready, people will start showing up soon,” she says, pulling me from the seat and pushing me towards the room.
-- Tate --
JP, Scott and Rafe arrived after I finished changing, while the girls disappeared into Penny’s room to do their hair and makeup. We make us some drinks while we wait and then head out to the pool to drink them. The sun is just about to set so it’s still early. Most people won’t show up until it’s dark out.
When Penny and Tamsyn walk out to the pool area, Tamsyn steals my breath away. She’s wearing a simple black halter knee length dress. Her long hair is curled behind her and her eyes are darkened with makeup which makes the blue of her eyes even brighter. I don’t even realise my feet have taken me to her until I’m leaning down kissing her, not caring about the others and the fact they are probably looking at us.
We pull apart breathless and she says, “You couldn’t wait for me to walk over to you?” with a hint of a smile in her voice.
“My feet led me to you of their own accord. They’ll always lead me to you because they know where I belong,” I tell her, truthfully. This girl has captured my heart and I don’t ever want it back if it means I get to have her. I watch as her cheeks darken from my words.
“Get a room you two,” Rafe teases behind us, and Tamsyn’s cheeks darken even more as I turn us around, pulling her back into my front, encasing her in my arms. The others laugh as I smile at them with happiness only Tamsyn can ignite in me.
We move back into the house as people start to arrive and the music gets turned up louder. Tamsyn and Penny head through the crowd to the kitchen to make themselves drinks, so I follow. Their laughter fills the air and I catch sight of JP standing off to the side, watching Penny as he drinks from his plastic cup.
“What are you doing over here looking at her like a creeper?” I ask, taking a sip from my own cup.
His grin is directed my way but his eyes stay on Penny as he says, “Just making sure she’s safe without interfering in the fun.”
“Gotcha,” I reply, taking a wide stance next to him, fixing my gaze on Tamsyn. We both keep an eye on our girls while they laugh and sip from their cups, their buzz taking hold the longer the night goes on. “Where are Scott and Rafe?” I ask.
“I think they’re out by the fire pit, talking to Elijah and Tyler,” he tells me, his focus still on Penny. As the song changes, the girls suddenly stop and then together, start jumping around at the excitement the song brings. Penny grabs Tamsyn’s hand while they carry their drinks and head into the throng of people, dancing and kicking up the balloons we’d blown up earlier. Several have popped but there’s still enough covering the floor so it can’t be seen properly. We watch the girls get lost in the crowd and it isn’t until the song changes that JP nudges me.
“Come on that’s long enough, let’s go find them,” he says, which has me laughing as I skull my drink, leaving the cup on the bench.
“You’ve got it bad man,” I tell him, and he just grunts at me which makes me laugh harder as I follow after him. When the girls come into view in the middle of the swaying bodies, both JP and I move instinctively behind our girls. I hear Tamsyn’s intake of breath.
“It’s me, Sweetness,” I whisper in her ear, causing her body to relax into me. She pushes herself back into my chest and we dance to the music. I intertwine our fingers and put my arm across her chest, pulling her closer to me. We lose ourselves in the music, and everything drifts away as I focus on my girl.
Lifting my head from her neck a few songs later, JP gives me a head nod, as he leads Penny off the dance floor. I continue to dance with Tamsyn for another song before yelling in her ear to be heard over the music.
“Lets go,” I say, spinning her around in my arms and leading her out the back door.
Chloe passes us on our way saying ,“Hey guys,” which has Tamsyn stopping and smiling at her.
“Hey Chloe, you okay? Where’s Leyla?” I ask, as she’s by herself. And even though we are at Penny’s, I don’t like the idea of any girls being alone while around so many drunk people.
“She’s uh back there. I’m just going to the bathroom. Have a good night guys,” she stutters, as she continues walking past us slowly. I continue leading Tamsyn away from the house but it’s only a few steps until we are met by Rafe.
“Rafe,” Tamsyn squeals in her drunkenness, leaping into Rafe’s arms and it makes me realise she must have had more to drink than I realise.
“Hey Petal, you alright?” he asks, his huge smile forming when he realises Tamsyn is drunk. He lowers her to her feet, keeping his hands on her shoulders, steadying her.
“I’m A okay,” she says, which has Rafe looking at me with a raised brow and trying not to laugh.
“We’re just getting some air,” I tell Rafe, and he nods. “Where you going?”
“Back inside to see what’s going on in there,” he says. “Look after her,” he tells me.
“You know it,” I tell him, bumping his fist. I pull Tamsyn to carry on our way and she stumbles which has my gaze shifting to her. In my peripheral something catches my eye and I first see Chloe then Rafe close behind, both walking around the side of the house. Neither of them entered and went where they said they were.
I was going to take Tamsyn to the fire pit but change my mind and divert to the pool instead. The last wooden pool chair where she found me so many months ago is empty so I walk us down there and pull her down next to me as
I lie down. She shifts her head so she can look above us at the stars.
“There aren’t as many here as there was at camp,” she says, and I agree. We’re both quiet for a minute before she breaks it saying, “Do you think it’s possible for us to always be together?” and her words make my heart beat faster.
“Why are you asking that?” I say quietly, squeezing her into my side.
“Did you know only like two percent of high school relationships last?” she asks, and it makes me chuckle.
“Sweetness, did you google that?” and her scrunched up face has me laughing louder as she says, “Maybe,” which only makes me laugh more. I pull her on top of me so I can look into her eyes.
Searching her gaze, I see the vulnerability in them and I let out a sigh before saying, “I don’t know what the future holds Sweetness and both of us know how short life can be. But I don’t think I have a say in the matter. You’ve already stolen my heart completely and if for some reason we go our separate ways, I can promise my feet will always lead me back to you.” Her glassy eyes stare at me and as she blinks, the first tears drop down. I pull her head to my chest, holding onto her as tightly as possible, hoping we never have to be without the other.
“We’ll always have the stars,” she barely whispers.
“We’ll always have the stars,” I agree.
In the early hours of the morning when everyone is gone, I find JP in the living room throwing a blanket over Scott on the couch as I carry a sleeping Tamsyn in my arms.
“Penny’s asleep in her room, so I’ll just crash in there with her,” he says.
“Sweet, Tamsyn and I will just crash in the other room,” I tell him, about to turn around and walk down the hall but the front door opens, and Rafe walks through.