Game Over (On the Wild Side #1)

by Cheryl Douglas

  She touched his shoulder tentatively, wishing she could ease some of his tension. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “Why did you come back?”

  “What?”

  “You heard me.” The muscle in his jaw was contracting when he muttered, “Why the hell did you come back to Carlton?”

  Wow. She hadn’t seen that coming. They’d been getting along well all weekend. She could tell he was on edge, but hadn’t sensed his resentment. Until now. “I came back to spend some time with my best friend and visit my family.”

  “And what about me?” he demanded, turning to face her. “Did you think about me at all before you came back?”

  “I…” She had no idea she and Deke would re-connect, but she couldn’t return to her hometown without thinking about her first love. “Of course I thought about you, Deke.” She gestured between them. “But I never expected… this.”

  His eyes narrowed before he asked, “What? What didn’t you expect?”

  “This connection between us.” She reached for his hands, praying he wouldn’t reject her. “I didn’t expect it to be like this after so many years apart.”

  “Can’t you see what I see?” he asked, lowering her head. “You’re it for me. And I know you feel the same way.”

  She did, but that didn’t mean she could build her whole life around their relationship. “I do, but—”

  “But what?” He stepped closer, brushing his hand across her cheek. “Don’t tell me anything is more important than this. What we have, or could have, is everything.”

  The life she’d always dreamed about, with Deke, was within reach, but there were so many obstacles. “There are some things you need to understand,” she said, sighing. “I acquired a lot of student debt and—”

  “Seriously?” His eyes blazed before he tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling. “You’re going to talk to me about money right now? You’re going to pretend that’s more important than our future?”

  She didn’t expect him to understand. He knew what it felt like to be poor, but it had probably been years since he’d lived paycheck to paycheck, and that was still her reality. “What kind of future could we have if I was bored out of my mind without teaching, stressing over a mountain of debt, or worse, feeling shitty about myself because you had to play the hero and take care of me?” Tears burned her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. “Can’t you understand where I’m coming from? I can’t let you—”

  “Be there for you?” He brushed his lips across hers. “Help you? Support you?”

  She was getting lost in his kiss, forgetting all of her objections. When she was in his arms, it felt like nothing mattered more than the relationship they were re-building. “I love you.” He needed to know that, no matter what happened, she did love him. And probably always would.

  “Then let’s figure this out together, baby.” His breathing was harsh as he leaned his forehead against hers. “There has to be a way to make this work. If you need me to come with you—”

  “What?” She framed his gorgeous face with her hands as her heart screamed at her to give herself to this man, who would clearly do anything for her. “You would seriously leave everything behind just to be with me?”

  He nodded, looking solemn. “If that’s what it takes.”

  But that wouldn’t make him happy. She could see it in his eyes. He loved her enough to make the ultimate sacrifice for her, leaving the life he loved behind, but she could never let him do that. She loved him too much.

  She slowly unbuttoned his shirt, kissing his chest as she bared the intertwining bursts of colorful ink. It had been dark in her apartment the other night, with only candles and the gas fireplace to cast light, so she didn’t see it then. Her name amidst the sprawling piece on his chest. Woven into… a broken heart.

  “Ohmigod,” she whispered, tracing the lines with her fingertip as she looked up into his eyes. “When did you get this?”

  “About a year after you left.” His voice was husky as his hands closed around her waist. “My heart, it wouldn’t heal. Nothing made the pain go away. Marking my body, reminding myself everyday of what I’d had and lost…” He shrugged, tearing his eyes from hers. “I don’t know. It just felt right.”

  She’d forgotten what it was like to feel shredded. The weeks after they broke up, she’d been a walking zombie, going through the motions on auto-pilot, living a life that didn’t make sense anymore. Not without him. And she was at serious risk of going there again, only this time she wasn’t eighteen. She was older and supposedly wiser. She’d loved, sort of, and lost again. She knew men like Deke didn’t come along twice in a lifetime.

  “I don’t know what to do,” she said, dropping her head against his chest. “I want to be with you. But I need to figure out how to—”

  “Take care of yourself. I know.” His sigh was harsh, letting her know he was as torn up as she was about their dilemma. “I was I had the answers, babe. I meant what I said. I’ll go with you, if that’s what you want.”

  “But it’s not what you want.” She tipped her head back to look at him. “I know how much you love Drew. You’ve been there since the day he was born. You’ve probably spent more time with him than his own dad. How could you just leave him?” She shook her head. “You couldn’t. He’d never understand. He’d feel like you left him, just like his mom did. That wouldn’t be fair to him. Or to you.”

  He swallowed repeatedly and she knew he was battling his emotions. “I’m not saying it would be easy—”

  “It would be impossible,” she said, pressing her lips against his.

  “Letting you leave me again will be impossible.” His grip on her tightened. “You tell me how the hell I’m supposed to do that.”

  “I’m going to send out resumes to every school in a hundred miles radius, I promise. But no one’s hiring right now.” She curled her hands around his powerful biceps, needing something to make her feel grounded. “But that could change. Maybe someone will go on mat leave or retire next year. Who knows, right?”

  “Or it could be years before you find a teaching position in this area.”

  There were less than thirteen thousand people in their entire county, and only a few elementary schools. She knew it was wishful thinking to believe she might land a job here. Even if she could afford to be patient, which she couldn’t.

  “I don’t know how much time we have together.” Her voice was soft and laced with sadness, when she said, “And neither do you. But I do know we have two choices. End this now or enjoy every single moment, knowing that good-bye is going to tear both of our hearts out when that day inevitably comes.”

  He closed his eyes, his expression ravaged. “What do you want?”

  “You.” That was the only thing she was certain about. She wanted every minute she could steal wrapped up in this man’s arms. “I want you. Any way I can get you.”

  His look was savage when he grabbed her and boosted her up so her legs were wrapped around his waist. He walked the few steps to the bed before fisting his free hand in her hair and sweeping her lips open with his tongue. His heart was pounding hard against hers, levelling her with the pain-pleasure they were inflicting on each other.

  In a perfect world Deke would be hers forever. They’d have every day and night to make up for all the lost years. But this wasn’t a perfect world, and the clock had already started counting down, so she had to make every second with him count. To burn every kiss, every stroke, every thrust and moan, into her memory, so she’d never forget what it felt like to be so totally cherished. That’s how Deke made her feel, cherished, like his heart beat for her.

  “I need you,” she whispered in his ear. “I am never gonna stop needing you.” He needed to know he’d re-claimed every little part of her, and she’d never belong to another man the way she belonged to him.

  He let her fall back on the bed before he crawled on top of her. His steel colored eyes were glittering dangerously, ma
king him look feral, like it was taking everything in him to keep the wild on lockdown.

  “You’re right, you’re never gonna stop needing me because I won’t let you.” He pushed her shirt up, cupping her breast through the thin lace. “Every second we have… I have one goal in mind.” His lips were trailing down her neck, nipping and licking. “To fill you in every way. Your body. Your mind. Your heart. Your soul, baby. By the time you think you want to walk away from me, it’ll be like we’re one. Your heart will be beating in time with mine.” His mouth skimmed her lips before moving along her jaw as he taunted her with his words. “You’ll be able to read my mind. When I cut myself, you’ll bleed.”

  Harper sucked in a breath. She’d never been more in sync with a man, and the picture Deke painted seemed… viable. And scary as hell.

  He tugged her shirt over her head before clicking the snap between her breasts so they spilled out into his waiting hand. His thumb glided over her nipple, while his denim-clad thigh parted her legs.

  She curled her hands around his neck, losing herself in his eyes before she brought his mouth down on hers. It felt like she was chained to this man, locked down tight, with no hope of breaking free even if she wanted to. Which she definitely did not. If she could relegate real life responsibilities to the back of her mind forever, this is all she would need to be happy for the rest of her life. Deke’s strong arms around her and a soft mattress under her.

  She lunged into his kiss, desperate to feel the buzz only he could stir. His hands were exploring above her waist, while their tongues engaged in an erotic dance of give and take. But she needed more. So. Much. More.

  “Please, Deke.” She didn’t care if she sounded needy or that he’d reduced her to begging. She’d checked her pride as soon as she got a glimpse of her name on his chest, marking him hers for life, in a way a ring never could.

  He flicked the button on her jeans before sliding the zipper down. He tore his mouth away from hers long enough to whisper in her ear, “God Harper, the things I want to do to you right now.”

  She trembled, imagining what they might be, wanting to make every last one of his fantasies a reality. “Show me.”

  His groan was harsh when he tore her jeans down her legs and stood back to admire the view. She’d never been stick-thin like the cover models whose bodies she used to covet as a teen, but when Deke looked at her with fire blazing in those incredible gray eyes she felt like a goddess… and the star of his dreams.

  “You want me to show you?” He licked his lips as he tossed her jeans aside. “Where do I start, beautiful?”

  She planted her foot in the middle of his chest, her eyes drawn back to that tattoo. It was one of many, but it was by far her favorite. “I want that,” she whispered.

  “What?”

  “I want your name on me.”

  He closed his eyes as his hand trailed up her calf before his lips grazed her skin. “You don’t know how much I want to see that.”

  “Will you do it for me?” She could tell the thought of it was turning him on, which only made her want it more. “Erase my mistake, Deke.” She didn’t have to tell him her ex was the mistake. He knew. “Mark my skin with the name of the only man…” His eyes pinned her before she said softly, “I’ve ever loved.”

  “You don’t know what you’re doing to me right now, girl.”

  She could see it in the tight set of his jaw, the curl of his lips, the narrowing of his eyes. The tension was palpable, like a leashed Rottweiler, who hadn’t tasted fresh meat in years. He had the power to tear her apart, then piece her back together. His body was huge, powerful, but his heart was huge too. And that steely softness, reserved just for her, made her fall deeper than she’d ever dreamed possible. She’d adored Deke, the boy, but she was possessed by the man.

  “I know what you’re doing to me.” She hooked him with her gaze, pouring everything she felt into that eye-lock. “Exactly what you said you would.” Her voice was soft, sultry, when she murmured, “Getting. Inside. Me.”

  He sank his teeth into his lower lip before his eyes roamed her body. “Not yet, baby. But I will be. So deep. And it’s gonna hurt… so good.”

  Her breath got trapped in her throat every time she thought about how good he could make her feel. How whole and complete. Like their connection was the only thing that mattered. And maybe it was.

  She watched him strip the rest of his clothes off while her hands trailed down her body, making his eyes darken with lust as he watched her. “You’re taking too long.”

  His smirk was smug when he said, “We’ve got all night, angel. All night for me to make you feel…”

  He flashed a smile, making her heart squeeze. God, she loved his smile.

  “Feel what, Deke?”

  “Everything. Every touch will feel like a brand on your skin.” He was back, searing her skin with his tongue. “Every kiss will set you on fire. Every thrust will fill you and stretch you in the best possible way.”

  Harper was dying to have him inside her, but he was obviously content to take his time with the sweet torture. “Please.” She knew her plea would fall on deaf ears. When Deke made up his mind, nothing and no one could change it. Not even her.

  “Every word will tease your mind,” he continued, still moving his lips over every inch of her skin. “When I’m not with you, you’ll hear my voice. Re-live every second of this.”

  She had no doubt he was right. Every minute she spent with Deke felt like a reward for good karma in a past life.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Love was too trivial to describe what he felt for Harper. So instead of using his words Deke used his body to show Harper how lost he was to her. He slid his finger through her essence, entering her slowly with two digits while his thumb circled her. The rush of ecstasy that crossed her beautiful face as he pleasured her made him want to prolong the inevitable. To keep her teetering on the edge of utopia, climbing then receding, until she was begging for sweet mercy.

  His mouth wanted in on the action, so he used every trick in his arsenal to tease and torment her, knowing the reward would be even better after the build-up. His lashes were long and languid, then fast and frantic, alternating between bringing her to the edge and drawing her back.

  “Deke…” Her moan was soft, her expression tight, as she fisted the sheets. “Please.”

  He wasn’t making her beg to gratify his ego. He was focused solely on her pleasure, knowing the longer it took the better it would feel when he finally hit the switch and set her off like a sexy little rocket.

  “It’ll be worth the wait, angel,” he said, kissing her thighs. “I promise.” Just like she’d been worth the wait. It had taken years to get her back, but now that he had her, he wasn’t letting her go. He hadn’t figured out how to help her find what she needed, but he would. He was sure of that.

  Her body was trembling as she arched her back off the bed. Her breathing had been reduced to short gasps as she pinched her eyes closed and he was lost in the show she was putting on for him. He hung on her every sound, letting her body guide him to the bliss she craved before he finally hooked his finger and lit the fuse.

  Her scream was silent as she shattered, burning him up with her heat, and making his body ache with the urge to devour her. He wanted to exhaust her, and wake her in the morning with the most delicious twinge between her legs and the soul-splitting reminder of who’d put it there.

  Without giving her a chance to breathe, he plunged into her, his kiss absorbing her cry as he reminded her how good it felt to be pushed beyond her limits. Sex was sex with anyone else, but with Harper it was sacred. His soul merged with hers while their bodies fused. Their language transcended words. It was in every brush of their lips, caress, thrust, and moan. This woman wasn’t just his sexual partner and never would be. She was his soul mate. His today, tomorrow, and forever.

  He pleased and teased as he took her on the ride of her life, pitching her forward, hauling her back, whispering dirty
promises in her ear, and taking her mouth in savage kisses that made her sigh when his lips left hers.

  The headboard beat the wall as he drove into her in a mind-numbing rhythm of too much and not enough, but he heard his nephew’s soft snore filtering through the speaker, so he wasn’t worried about waking him.

  “Deke, I…”

  She didn’t have to say it. He felt it. She clenched him in her sweet heat as her body pulsated and surged, making him grip the bedsheets in tight fists beside her head to keep from diving over the edge with her.

  He drew deep breaths, trying to remain still, covering her body with his while her hands stroked his back.

  “You’re amazing,” she whispered in his ear. “I love the way you make me feel.”

  “Nothing compared to the way you make me feel, baby.” Their kiss was soft and sensual, tongues lashing and chasing, while she came down from her high.

  “My turn,” she said, winking, as she tried to push against his shoulders.

  He chuckled as he fell back on the mattress, letting her straddle him. If his woman wanted to claim the driver’s seat, he sure as hell wouldn’t complain.

  Gripping her hips, he watched her mouth fall open and her head tip back as she planted her hands on his chest. She was breathless as her body took over. Rocking against him as he controlled the speed, she was panting and pleading, before finding her release as she took him with her.

  He held her against his chest, stroking her hair as they found their equilibrium.

  “Wow,” she whispered, kissing his chest. “Just…. wow.”

  He chuckled, feeling the same way. There were no words for what happened when they came together. Not even ‘explosive’ would do it justice. “My sentiments exactly, sweetheart.”

  He kissed her forehead, closing his arms tighter around her as reality started to seep in. He needed a plan. A way to make her realize she could have him and her career too. But how the hell was he supposed to make that happen?

  “I need a minute, babe.”