Connor: I’m out front. Ready whenever you are, beautiful.
Really, a text? Apparently, Connor wasn’t much of a romantic. Samantha let her mind wander to images of how their first date would have been half a lifetime ago, back when he loved her. A twinge of regret twisted her stomach before she brushed the daydreams away. She slid on her shoes, shot a quick picture to Monica, and rushed down stairs for her date.
“I wasn’t expecting flowers, but seriously a text? You couldn’t be bothered to come to the door?” she didn’t even say hello before starting in on him. It was going to be important to set the tone early tonight. Connor needed to be clear she was here because she was being forced, not because she wanted to.
“Honestly, I didn’t trust myself to be alone with you that close to a bedroom,” his words were laced with lust. He wasn’t joking. Samantha blushed, but didn’t respond. A part of her wondered what he would have thought of Monica’s “nothing at all” outfit option. She derailed that train of thought, wiping her sweating hands on her thighs. Her phone buzzed with a new text.
Monica: Nice stilettos, slut. ;)
A smile crept across Samantha’s lips as she put her phone away. She looked over at Connor, unprofessional thoughts swimming in the pool of desire that flooded her mind right now. His eyes were locked on the road and her smile faded. Despite racking her brain for something safe to say, the car ride had been awkwardly silent. It seemed like they were both unreasonably nervous. The car reeked of fear by the time they arrived at the restaurant.
Samantha had chosen a middle of the road restaurant, nothing too romantic but deciding against the local burger joint. It was a quaint mom-and-pop Italian restaurant that was still fancy enough to have cloth linens. Connor smiled in approval when they were seated.
“This place is nice. I thought maybe you’d end up taking me to a sports bar or something to keep from having to talk to me,” Connor said with a chuckle.
“I thought about it, believe me. Especially since there’s a game on tonight,” a small amount of the tension was fading as the initial ice had been broken. Samantha wanted to stay professional, but she couldn’t stand the idea of continuing the painful silence of the car ride for an entire dinner. Especially now that she was seated across from Connor, being forced to face him instead of mindlessly staring out the window which had been her only sanctuary in the car.
“A game?” Connor asked inquisitively.
“Game three of the series with the Jays,” Samantha knew he was well aware of what game she was talking about.
“I didn’t know you liked baseball.”
“You never asked,” her response was flat.
“You weren’t big on talking if I recall,” he sounded more defensive than he meant to. The awkward silence was back, drowning them both in their own waves of regret. Him for current comments, her for past actions.
“I guess you’re right about that,” she had a pensive pause, almost long enough to make Connor apologize for bring up their past, for insinuating she was anything other than exactly what he wanted. “I guess we have some catching up do to do,” the guilt for how Samantha had treated him was fresh in her mind. She tried to make her voice light and playful. “Yes, I like baseball. I used to watch your games. You know, that summer,” they shared a knowing smile. “I mean, when I wasn’t in debate and the crowd was big enough you wouldn’t notice me.” A flush of self-consciousness washed over Samantha at her confession.
“Really?” He was honestly having trouble believing her. How could he not have noticed her? Even if she had been trying to hide, he can spot her from a mile away. He knew every inch of her body and there was no one else like Samantha Cane. Connor momentarily caught himself wondering if her body had changed as she became a woman. He flushed at the thought of her naked body. He tried to focus back on their conversation, on her confession. Connor realized he probably never saw her because he never looked. He never looked in the stands during games. One-hundred percent focused. That was how he did everything. The thought of her watching him brought a smile to his lips and new warmth to his heart.
“I never knew you watched me,” he said with a soft smile on his lips. The tension was falling away with every word.
“You weren’t supposed to. Breaking the rules, remember?” she said with a seemingly apologetic smile.
“What else don’t I know about you?” he ignored her reference to their past. He wasn’t going to let himself think about it. How she always kept him at arm’s length. How she broke him. How she left him. This was a new day. A new them. A new chance. He wasn’t going to let something like their past get in the way.
“Everything I guess. What do you want to know? Ask me anything,” this openness was Samantha’s penance for her past. He knew he could ask her anything and she would answer honestly.
Why did you leave me? Did you love me? Could you ever love me?
He heart was desperate for the answers, but his lips refused to ask the questions. Don’t live in the past. Don’t push her away. His heart ached as he tried to think of any question other than the ones he couldn’t ask.
“Let’s see, I already know where you grew up and how you take your coffee,” he forced himself to sound cheerful. “What about your favorite color?”
“Guess,” Samantha was feeling playful.
Connor thought back all the years he’d known her, all the outfits she’d worn, the color of her room back home. There was never really one color more present than the next. He had absolutely no idea.
“Red,” he took a stab in the dark.
“Close. Pink,” she buried her face in her hands, stifling the words as if it was a shameful confession. He laughed out loud at her shyness.
“You never wear pink!”
“I know. I hate that I love it. If anyone asks, I usually say green. Nice neutral green.” When she pulled her hands away from her face, her blushing cheeks were the most beautiful shade of soft pink. It was Connor’s new favorite color too.
“What’s wrong with pink? I like pink,” he said, loving how the blush on her cheeks deepened.
“It’s so soft. So girly,” she spat the words out like she was allergic to them.
“Well, last time I checked, you are a girl…” a naughty smirk crossed his lips and Samantha couldn’t help herself from laughing out loud.
“First of all, I am a woman,” she puffed out her chest for emphasis on the last word. “Secondly, women can’t afford to be soft in this world.”
“You mean in the corporate law world?” he asked, genuinely curious about how she sees herself and what she’s had to do to succeed.
“I mean sure, there especially, but everywhere. The world likes to see women as damsels in distress, needing to be helped along or taken care of. Whether guys admit it or not, I have to try harder to prove that I’m capable because of it.”
“I don’t think anyone mistakes you as a damsel in distress,” he meant it as a compliment. Connor thought back to the image of her the first day they met, in front of that classroom, looking like she was born to command the world’s attention.
“Of course they do. All the time! Like when I try to put my suitcase into an overhead bin, or check my oil at the gas station, or God forbid I try to buy something from Home Depot without seeking the advice of every man in the store!”
“Come on. They are just being nice,” Connor hadn’t meant to end up arguing with her on their first date, but it seemed like that was where the conversation was heading.
“Would they be that nice if I had a penis?” Samantha realized she said the word a bit too loud as shocked faces turned towards them from around the restaurant. She and Connor both giggled slightly at the stares she got in response. “No, they wouldn’t. They are trying to save the damsel in distress and I sure as hell don’t need saving! I am just as competent and capable as any man.” She took a breath, realizing by the startled look on his face that she’d been ranting at him for longer than first date etiquette should
allow.
“Anyway, that’s why I don’t wear pink,” she leaned back in her chair, feeling like she’d soured the short break in awkwardness they had.
“I guess I never thought of it like that,” Connor contemplated while running his finger through his hair. “You’ve just always seemed so…” he searched for the right word. “Forceful. It honestly didn’t occur to me someone could make you feel otherwise.” Samantha’s heart melted at his words. He saw her as she always wanted to be, strong.
“Oh yeah? Why were you surprised I liked baseball then?” her voice was mocking, but sweet.
“Maybe because all the nights we spent together, you never once asked me about it. And I thought you never came to my games,” was his teasing reply.
“Well, I wasn’t big on talking, remember?” using his own words against him with a knowing look in her eyes.
“Touché. So, pink. Good to know.”
They managed to struggle through some cliché first date banter as they waited for their food, letting silence fall while they ate. It wasn’t the worst date Samantha had ever been on, but it was certainly one of the most bizarre. They were hot and cold. She had glimpses of how easy it would be to fall in love with him followed by a painful stiffness that made her want to run away screaming.
She was relieved when the night was nearly over and Connor pulled up outside her apartment. He parked and quickly jumped out to open her door. She hid her smirk at his gesture and decided against making a joke about damsels and door handles. She took his hand as she got out of the passenger seat and he pulled her into him, toe to toe and chest to chest. He wrapped his other hand around her waist and Samantha let out a soft gasp of surprise, unable to pull away. She had been able to avoid even incidental contact the whole night and now she let herself end up in his arms.
“Thank you for a lovely evening,” his lips were on hers before she was able to argue about the loveliness of the night. Samantha was in utter shock. Connor Grayson’s lips were pressed softly to hers again after eleven years. Her whole body tensed, but he didn’t stop. He dropped the hand he’d been holding since he helped her out of the car and started to glide it up her side. She felt his fingers on her hip first, tickling the faint line of her panties under her dress. Then they began their slow trace up her waist, slowing at the side of her chest as if debating a detour to her nipples. Instead they continued up her body, along her exposed collar bone, causing goose bumps to break out across her body. His fingers continued up her neck and brushed along her jaw line until his hand was cradling the side of her face, tilting gently to deepen their kiss. She finally snapped back to reality and her body took over, the way it always would with Connor. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her.
Connor’s soft kiss turned passionate and desperate. Standing on the sidewalk outside of Samantha’s apartment they kissed like they were trying to make up for the lost years. Samantha’s tongue pressed into Connor’s mouth and he let out a soft moan. Both arms were now wrapped around Samantha’s waist like he was trying to squeeze her into him and keep her forever. Samantha’s body responded by continuing to lean into him, causing them to stumble back into Connor’s SUV. He was pinned. The old Samantha was coming back now, the one who dragged him into the girl’s bathroom and ravaged him. His kiss had flipped a switch in her and she was pure carnal lust at this point. She moaned as Connor’s hands roamed her body, never letting her lips leave his. She could feel their mutual arousal electrifying the air.
With no warning, Connor’s lips broke from hers as he pushed her arm’s length away. She just looked him in amazement. He looked as tortured with desire as she was.
“I need to leave now if I am going to keep this night PG,” he explained.
“And why do we need to be PG?” Samantha tried to take a step back toward him, desperate for the warmth of his body pressed against hers again. To hell with professional and distant. She wanted to take him upstairs and rip his clothes off. He kept his arms up, keeping her at bay.
“Because I’m not that kind of guy. You don't get past first base on the first date. I want to be wooed,” he said with a smirk. He leaned in, kissed her forehead and quickly retreated to the driver’s side of car. “Gotta keep you wanting that second date, right?” he said with a wink before starting his car and driving off.
Samantha watched until his car disappeared down the street, trying to make sense of the last few hours. They had such an awkward date, but then that kiss. It was more than a kiss, that was a full on make-out session. It had been amazing. She hadn’t been kissed like that ever. At least not since the last time she kissed Connor. Then, he just drove off. How was that even possible? She knew he wanted it just as much as she did, but he was able to hold back. Samantha spent her entire weekend trying to decipher her first date with Connor. Come Monday morning, she was nowhere closer to understanding what was happening between them.
She was hoping seeing him again would clear up where they stood. The look in his eyes, the tone of his voice, if he was avoiding her, would give her some clues as to how he felt about her. Samantha was excited and anxious to see Connor again.
Chapter Ten - The Rules
Eleven Years Ago
Samantha stared at her computer screen, trying desperately to will herself to start researching her next debate topic. Her mind wouldn’t cooperate. All she could think about was Connor. It had been a few days since their last rendezvous and she hadn’t seen him. Or more correctly, she hadn’t been seen by him. She made a point of walking by the field at the end of her debate class to secretly watch him on the field during his practices. Just watching him seemed to calm her. She always went home with a smile on her face. But, they hadn’t had any more secret bathroom rendezvous. Part of her was relieved. How many times could you fool around in a high school bathroom before getting caught? She was too clever to throw away her chance at Stanford by getting caught having sex in a bathroom! Having sex with Connor. She was a virgin and had never really thought about sex, at least not like that. It was something she knew eventually would be part of her life. But, when she thought about sex, it was almost clinical. It was just something you did, it had never been an enticing idea for her. After her time with Connor that had changed. Her mind raced with thoughts of being with him, connected to him in the most intimate way. For the first time in her life she wanted it. She wanted to have sex with Connor. The realization made her face flush with heat.
The only problem was that either he had been intentionally avoiding her or he was simply too busy to seek her out again. She wasn’t sure which one she would rather it be. She hadn’t sought him out either, but she hadn’t been avoiding him. Maybe he thought it was her turn. Was that how it was going to be, they took turns finding each other when they needed it? She wanted to be with him again, but it couldn’t be in the school. The last two times were spontaneous and passionate, but they were also stupidly risky. She knew her parents were heavy sleepers and their room was at the other end of the house. If she waited for him at the back door, he could easily sneak into her room. Samantha shook the thoughts out of her head. Was she seriously thinking of how to sneak a boy into her room? That was insane. Debate topic research. That's what she should be doing. Her mind didn’t seem to listen as it kept plotting.
How could she get him to come over? She could try to catch him alone at school, but based on their history, there was a good chance they would end up in another bathroom again. That didn’t solve her problem. She didn’t have his phone number, so she couldn’t call him. Their school had an on-line messaging system that a lot of kids used. It was supposed to be for school projects, but everyone used it to chat during class because phones weren’t allowed. It was possible that he still checked it, even though he graduated. It was worth a shot. Worst case scenario, he wouldn’t get the message and she’d be in the same position she was in now.
Samantha: Do you ever use this?
She waited for twenty painful minutes, obsessivel
y clicking back and forth between the chat window and a research page, trying to fool herself into believing she was actually getting work done for her debate class. It was already eleven o’clock at night. Maybe he had gone to bed. Maybe he didn’t check his messages. She was about to give up when that beautiful chime of a reply message hit her ears. Her heart began to beat faster at the thought of Connor’s fingers typing out a message just for her.
Connor: yep.
That was it. She waited twenty minutes for three letters followed by a pompous little period. She wanted to scream. Was he going to participate in this conversation at all? She was so nervous. She had wanted to talk to him so badly, but now that he was sitting on the other end of the message she had no idea what to say to him. Did he even know who she was? They had never actually met and it's not like they exchanged names in between passionate kisses.
Samantha: Do you know who this is?
Connor: yep.
If Samantha could reach out and choke him through the computer she would. Just another three letters. He certainly knew how to torture a girl. He was going to have to say more than that for her to keep going.
Samantha: Prove it. Who am I?
Connor: the girl who thinks i’m a lucky charm
Samantha’s face lit up. There were a million ways he could have answered, some of them less flattering to her than others, but he chose to remember her nickname for him. She took a deep breath and thought about what to say next, fighting back the growing sense of butterflies in her stomach. There was no point in asking how his day was. They weren’t dating. They weren’t even friends really. Get to the point, Samantha.
Lucky Charm Page 8