“And what about Allison?” Samantha asked noticing he hadn’t said anything about his middle sister. She wanted him to keep going, wanted to know more about him and what made him who he is.
“Allie was a tomboy. We were two peas in a pod, for awhile at least.”
“What happened?”
“She discovered make-up, and dresses. And boys. And eventually one of my best friends noticed her. They are getting married in the spring,” he said with a mix of pride and sadness. Samantha couldn't place why.
“That is sweet,” Samantha said it more to the air than to Connor, turning to look at all the young couples on the dance floor as a slow song started to play over the speakers.
“Sickeningly sweet,” Connor said with a smirk. Samantha turned back to face him, the familiar look of longing back in his eyes. It didn’t scare Samantha as much this time. This time she bathed in it, feeling it well up inside of her heart as well.
“Come dance with me,” Samantha asked as she stood up and held out her hand. He took it without hesitation and led her to the dance floor, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into him.
“Do you ever wonder what it would have been like?” he said softly breaking the silence between them.
“What?” his words had interrupted her memorizing the feeling of being in his arms.
“Us. Back in high school. If we had been together,” he paused as his voice got heavier. “Really together.”
“It would have been great,” Samantha answered honestly without thinking. She had been moved by the devotion that soaked his words. Being wrapped in his arms she couldn’t help but think what it would have been like to be Connor Grayson’s girlfriend. It would have been amazing, until it wasn’t. Until it ended. And it would always end one way or another. “For awhile.” The words hung in the air between them, thick with meaning, with Samantha’s fear. Samantha pulled Connor closer, tucking herself into his chest, trying to hide from the pain she knew would come from letting go.
They stayed wrapped in each other’s arms until a fast pop song began to fill the gym. They returned to their seat on the bleachers, but this time Connor didn’t let go of Samantha’s hand. Their fingers stayed intertwined in his lap for the rest of the dance. They didn’t speak, there didn’t seem to be anything else to say.
Connor dropped his niece and two of her friends off at Diane's before driving to Samantha’s apartment. They didn’t speak in the car ride, an excruciating change from the constant squealing and chattering that had come from the three twelve year olds in the back seat. When he pulled up out front of her building, Samantha didn’t get out. She sat there, looking up at her building, quietly thinking.
“Are you okay?” Connor asked her with a touch of concern beginning to overtake the sadness she knew he felt. She felt it too. She wasn't prepared for goodbye. She turned in her seat and looked directly in his eyes. Then she knew what she had to do.
“Will you come up for a minute?”
“Samantha…” he was shaking his head.
“Please Connor. I just want to show you something. It will be quick,” her voice was pleading, but still he didn’t respond. He just stared into her while deciding. Samantha didn’t breathe again until he unbuckled his seatbelt. Her heart did a flip. Her elation was short lived, being quickly replaced by overwhelming terror. But she wouldn’t back down now. He deserved to see it. He deserved to know. That was the least she could do.
Connor followed Samantha into the building, keeping his distance, his hands never leaving his pockets. Samantha opened the door to her apartment and they both stepped inside without speaking. Samantha crossed the living room before she realized Connor wasn’t following her. He wasn’t budging from the doorway.
“It’s in my bedroom.”
“Go get it, I’ll be here.” He was defiant. That wasn’t going to work. He needed to see it where it was.
“Please Connor. This is important,” she urged.
“Samantha…” his body was tense. He said her name as a warning.
“I promise to keep my hands to myself.” she held up her hands in surrender to show her innocent intentions. Letting out an edgy growl, he followed her into her bedroom.
“It’s there.” Samantha stepped aside just inside her bedroom and pointed up to a small framed picture over her bed. Connor took a few tentative steps into the room, unable to make out the picture. Samantha flipped on the light and Connor finally recognized it. It wasn’t a picture. It was a rubbing. She had framed a rubbing of the carving he made her on their bathroom door half a lifetime ago. Connor leaned over the bed and took the frame off the wall, sitting down on the side of Samantha’s bed, completely overwhelmed.
Lucky loves Elsie forever.
Connor was too distracted, tracing the lines of the rubbing, to notice Samantha had crossed the room to stand in front of him. He didn’t look up when she started speaking.
“It has been framed above my bed since the day I left for college. Everywhere I’ve lived, the first thing I did was hang it up. It is special to me.” You are special to me. She couldn’t bring herself to finish the confession. She didn’t need to. This was enough. For awhile.
“Come here,” Connor’s voice was husky and needy. It made Samantha’s stomach flutter uncontrollably.
“I promised…” she reminded him of her pledge to keep her hands to herself. It didn’t matter. Connor leaned forward and grabbed her hips, pulling her on top of him. Her knees were on either side of him, straddling his as he sat on the edge of the bed, just like their first time. Samantha dropped her forehead to meet Connor’s as she wrapped her arms around his neck. They sat there, connected, letting the words go unspoken.
As they sat breathing each other in, Connor’s hands slowly slid down her sides and pulled up the hem of her dress. Samantha’s heart felt like it would beat out of her chest as she felt Connor lift the fabric up and over her head, before letting it fall to the floor. She unbuttoned his shirt, placing soft kisses lower and lower, letting her fingers take over when her lips could no longer reach. He reached around and unhooked her bra, letting it slowly fall off her shoulders, before pulling her into him, her bare chest to his. The warmth of his skin on hers made Samantha let out a soft moan. Connor picked her up, spun them around and gently placed her back on the bed before standing up. He stood at the edge of the bed, memorizing her body, naked except for her lace panties.
Samantha’s body seemed to chill from the sudden distance, her nipples perking. She locked her eyes on his, searching for him in their silver depths. For a moment she thought Connor was going to grab his shirt off the floor and walk out. Then, he grabbed his belt buckle and dropped his slacks and boxers in a single motion. He reached down and slowly pulled off her panties, her skin tingling at his touch tracing over every inch of her legs. They each took a breath, taking a moment to appreciate the naked sight of each other. Connor crawled back on the bed between Samantha’s thighs, his naked body hovering over hers. Samantha throbbed with yearning, hot and eager.
“I want tonight to be just about tonight. I don’t want to think about our past, our work, or tomorrow. Tonight, I just need to be with you,” Connor whispered against her lips. She felt his need between her aching thighs. He felt her nodding, silently acknowledging she needed him too.
He made love to her all night, overdosing on pleasure, until they fell asleep in joyful exhaustion. It was the first sound sleep either had in a long time.
Chapter Seventeen - The Japan Trip
Connor was the first to wake up in the morning, but he didn’t move an inch. He wanted to know what Samantha would do when she woke up, if she would freak out and run again. They were spooning, her head resting on his bicep, his other arm wrapped around her waist with his fingers intertwined with hers between her breasts, their legs tangled together under the sheets. He enjoyed the feeling of being pressed up against Samantha’s naked body for an hour before she finally started to stir. It started with a soft moan and
an easy stretch. Connor kept as still as he could, reminding himself to keep his body completely relaxed, fighting the urge to hold her tightly in place against his body. Samantha rolled over and was staring at Connor’s closed eyes. He felt her hand side up his chest. Fingers danced along his jaw before her soft lips pressed against his. He couldn’t control the smile that forced itself onto his lips in response.
“I knew you were awake,” Samantha’s words were nearly a whisper.
“I am now,” Connor tried to make his voice sound groggy as he took an exaggerated stretch.
“Liar. You’ve been awake for nearly an hour, you’ve just been faking.” He was caught but not ready to admit it.
“And what makes you say that?”
“I could feel your heart racing,” Samantha said with a knowing smirk. Connor couldn’t help but chuckle as he leaned forward and kissed the tip of her nose.
“So how long have you been awake and faking then?” he replied.
“For about ten minutes before you.”
“And why didn’t you get up?”
“I was cozy. Plus, I was enjoying our Mexican standoff.” Connor laughed out loud before wrapping her back up in his arms and rolling on top of her, peppering her neck and chest with kisses. “But, now I’m hungry.” Samantha pushed him off and strutted over to her dresser completely naked. Connor enjoyed the view, trying not to let himself think about what came next.
“What’s for breakfast?” He asked from bed, watching her dig through her dresser and slide on a pair of plain cotton panties. Connor couldn't take his eyes off of her. She was breathtakingly beautiful.
“That depends, what can you cook?” She levied a flirtatious look at him from across the room, hands on her hips.
“You have a waffle maker?” Samantha’s eyes lit up at the mention of waffles. She hurried him out of bed and into the kitchen, barely giving him the time to throw on boxers. Wearing just panties and Connor’s t-shirt, she pulled out her never-been-used waffle maker as he started to mix together the ingredients. She turned on some music and Connor happily watched her dance around the kitchen, reveling in the feeling that he was finally getting to really see her. She was goofy, uncoordinated, and sexy as hell.
They stood next to each other in Samantha’s kitchen eating waffles and not talking. In between bites, they would steal glances at each other, each avoiding asking the question that was burning in both of their minds. What now? After finishing her last mouthful of waffle, Samantha jumped onto the counter and pulled Connor to her, wrapping her legs around his waist to lock him in place.
“I want today to just be about today,” her words came out as a plea. A kiss was Connor’s only response before picking her up and taking her back to bed. The spent the rest of the day in bed, touching, laughing, talking, and making love. For a brief time it felt like they were the same teenagers who fell in love a lifetime ago. They shut out any thoughts of their future. They just lived in the moment, treasuring every second together.
It was early Sunday morning, but they were both awake. They were spooning again, wrapped in each other’s arms, trying to pretend there wasn’t a world outside the bedroom door they would eventually have to return to.
“I missed you,” Samantha was the first to break the silence.
“Missed me?”
“Last week. On Thursday, when you didn’t come into the office. Isn't that silly? It was just a day.” It was a small confession, but it mattered to the both of them.
“I missed you too.” Connor brought their intertwined fingers to his lips and kissed the back of her hand. He didn’t let the silence overtake them again. The world wasn’t waiting and they needed to face it. “I have to go home and pack.”
“Okay,” Samantha acknowledged his statement but didn’t release her hold on his hand or pull away. “I’m going to sleep in a bit more before I start packing.”
Connor gently pulled away from her and slid out of bed. Samantha didn’t sit up, didn’t look at him, didn’t move. Connor got dressed quietly and kissed her on the cheek before turning to leave.
“I will see you at the airport in a few hours?” It came out as a question, even though Connor knew he would. Their trip was for work, Samantha wouldn’t miss it.
“Yep, I’ll see you there.” Samantha still didn’t look at him. When she heard the door click closed she let herself wallow in the emptiness for ten minutes before she forced herself to get out of bed and pack. Samantha wandered around her apartment, throwing things in her suitcase absentmindedly. She felt like a zombie, telling herself it was the lack of sleep and stress about traveling internationally for the first time. She refused to admit the truth to herself even when the sight of Connor a few hours later at the airport made her feel alive again.
They boarded and Samantha was comfortable in her first class seat next to Connor. She spent the majority of the long flight sleeping, pretending to sleep, or pretending to review reports on her laptop. She didn’t talk to Connor, but frequently let her body drift across the imaginary boundary between their seats, her knee touching his, her arm pressed against his, her head rested on his shoulder. He never pulled away.
They shared a taxi to the hotel and made plans to grab dinner in the hotel restaurant to discuss the plan for the week after napping and freshening up. Samantha showered and lied down on her bed, but sleep refused to come. Despite how exhausted she felt, her mind was racing with thoughts of Connor. She unpacked her suitcase and pulled out a sexy dress she was suddenly thankful she absentmindedly packed. She did her make-up, hiding the bags under her eyes as best as she could and curled her hair before texting Connor.
Samantha: Can’t sleep. Heading to the bar to grab a drink. Care to join?
Connor: Sure. Be down in a bit.
A smile crept across Samantha’s lips as she scurried out the door and down to the bar. She refused to acknowledge the butterflies in her stomach and what they meant. She kept telling herself tonight was just about tonight, avoiding thinking about how she felt about Connor, how he felt about her, and what that meant for their future.
Samantha lit up like a kid on Christmas when she saw Connor walking across the bar to her. He was wearing a crisp white dress shirt with the top two buttons undone and a pair of navy slacks, which was becoming Samantha’s favorite outfit on a man. They locked eyes across the room as he stalked right up to her. He wrapped his arm around her waist, his hand resting on the small of her back as he leaned down towards her.
“You look beautiful,” he whispered intimately in her ear before placing a soft kiss on her temple. The feeling of his breath on her ear made her close her eyes to focus on it. His words sent a wave of warmth across her body.
“You look quite dashing yourself,” she replied, placing a hand on his chest. He covered her hand with his, pressing into his heart meaningfully. Connor knew he couldn’t say the words, but every move of his body unintentionally confessed his love for her. Samantha could feel it in his touch and see it in his eyes, but as long as he didn’t say the words she could pretend she didn’t know. As long as he didn’t ask her for more, they could live in the now.
“What can I get you?” Samantha asked, pulling her hand away from him and turning toward the bar. Connor took the hint, removed his hand from the small of her back and leaned on the bar. He was exhausted by the cat and mouse game she insisted on playing, but if the options were play her game or walk away, Connor would play all night. Despite all the frustration and rejection, he wanted to be with her. He couldn’t bring himself to let her go.
They had a few drinks before heading to dinner, chatting casually about work throughout their meal. Connor hadn’t reached out to touch her since she had pulled away at the bar. It had only been a few hours, but Samantha already missed the feeling of his touch. He was keeping his distance and as much as Samantha was thankful for it, she regretted that he was.
They rode the elevator together after their dinner. They were staying on the same floor, but Samantha’s ro
om was further down the hallway which meant they arrived at Connor’s door first.
“Thank you for a lovely night.” Connor smiled at Samantha, keeping his distance. He wasn’t even going to give her a goodnight kiss. Samantha was so frustrated by the emotional distance they had between them now, distance she knew she had created. She let out a deep sigh, toeing the carpet with her eyes downcast like a kid who had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
“Connor…” Samantha started without knowing what she wanted to say. She looked up into Connor’s eyes and bit down on her lip, her words trailing off.
“Yes, Samantha?” Connor encouraged her softly, refusing to make any moves himself.
“How about I come in for a quick drink?”
“If you come in, you won’t be leaving tonight,” Connor’s response was flat and honest. His voice was both an invitation and a warning.
“I know.” Samantha kept her eyes locked on his, letting her acknowledgement sink in and seeing the change in his eyes from exhaustion to excitement.
“Let’s crack open that mini-bar then.” Connor wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into him before placing a passionate kiss on her lips. Samantha let out a soft sigh as he pulled her into his room.
Connor and Samantha spent almost every minute of every day together for the rest of the week. They would wake up each morning, wrapped in each other’s arms. Their days were spent working on the merger. Their evenings were spent in a sweaty naked mess.
Samantha was surprised to find out their first day that Connor spoke Japanese. Judging from his reception at Keiretsu Holdings, he was equally charming in every language. His easy nature translated fluently. Samantha spent most of her working hours watching him, not just because his body was amazing to look at, but because she wanted to be more like him. She was trying to understand the way he was able to talk to people, make them feel special. After watching him for a week she realized his secret was simple. He cared. It didn’t matter if he was talking to a CEO or a janitor, he was genuinely interested in them and cared about the person they were. It was a mesmerizing trait. Samantha could watch him for hours.
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