Isolation | Book 4 | Holding On

by Jones, Nathan

  He just wished he could do the same for Ricky and Tallie; hopefully once things settled down a bit he could discuss it with Ellie again.

  Once the rush of looking around the new apartment had faded, Nick glanced at their meager pile of belongings by the door, feeling suddenly awkward. “Well, I guess we should get moved in.”

  “Oh,” Gen said, coming to the same realization he had.

  In all the rush of having to leave Stanberry, then being processed through the FARR system along with all the other new arrivals, and assigned their new home, they hadn't given much thought to what came next. Gen had insisted they request a shared living space, afraid they might be separated, but they hadn't really discussed what that meant.

  Nick loved Gen more than he'd ever thought possible after the pain of his divorce, and he was resolved to ask her to marry him when the time was right.

  But they hadn't done more than make out a little before now, taking things slow, and he didn't want to make things uncomfortable now. Which was a serious consideration now that they were suddenly living in the same apartment.

  So he decided to head the issue off at the pass. “I'll take the first bedroom, if you want to take the master bedroom. And Billy can have the room next to yours. How does that sound?”

  “Okay,” she said, looking relieved but also a little disappointed. She checked to make sure her son was still busy exploring the apartment, then stepped a bit closer and lowered her voice. “I mean, I'd assumed we'd eventually be sharing that bedroom.”

  Nick could admit he felt a rush of happiness when he heard that. “I didn't want to get ahead of myself,” he said quickly, “although I certainly hope so too.” Smiling, he took her hand and ran his thumb over her ring finger. “I figured there were some steps we might take before reaching that point.”

  Gen raised an eyebrow, eyes dancing. “I didn't realize you were that old fashioned. I mean, I definitely don't mind the idea, but to be honest I wouldn't mind taking things a little faster than that, either.”

  Nick felt his cheeks heat. “You know how things ended with my parents. I guess I want to try to do things right, give us the best chance possible.”

  Her eyes softened, and she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his for a few warm, enjoyable seconds. “That's fine. And thank you for being so considerate. It means a lot to know how much what we have means to you.”

  She stepped back, briefly squeezing his hand. “Although I hope that doesn't include not cuddling . . . doing this the right way is a good idea, especially since we both have our kids to think of, but I'd go crazy if I had to live like a Puritan until you got around to popping the question.” She paused. “Sooner rather than later, hint hint.”

  He couldn't help but laugh. “Well, we'll take things as they come. Nothing's set in stone.”

  “Except the stovetop,” Gen said lightly, starting over to grab her things. “Have you seen the counters here?”

  Billy abruptly burst into the living area, bouncing with excitement. “Mom, Nick, two of the rooms have balconies! You can see the entire city!” He motioned eagerly for them to follow and disappeared back down the hallway without waiting to see if they did.

  Sharing grins at the boy's enthusiasm, they followed him into the master bedroom, where he was busy tugging at a glass sliding door. It was locked, though, and Nick had to help him get it open.

  Then they all filed outside to take in the view.

  “Wow!” Gen breathed, stepping up to the railing. “It's beautiful.”

  On the surface it looked like any city, but Nick understood what she meant. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and rested his cheek against her head, joining her in staring out at their new home.

  The streets of Houston actually had people on them. In fact, they were practically bustling with activity, nobody showing the slightest hint of wariness about the people they passed. Zolos was no longer hanging over their heads, and it looked as if here at least, people were already getting back to normal.

  Humanity was great like that, picking themselves up after a disaster and continuing on with their lives; it was a surprisingly heartening sight.

  He felt a sudden sharp pang, missing his children. Ricky and Tallie would really love it here, and it would be a return to what they'd been used to before the world ended.

  He knew things still weren't there yet, but they were certainly way closer to it here than in Stanberry. Besides, what was he here for but to help make that happen? What was he working for if not to make the world a better place for his children?

  Now that he was here, seeing what the survivors of the pandemic in the US were working to accomplish, he found himself becoming more certain that Gorstrom had been honest with him.

  He was being treated like any other volunteer, like she'd promised. And if that was true, then Houston really was a much better place to raise his children than Stanberry. Where they could go to school, and be close to a hospital if there was an emergency, and have access to pediatricians, and regular dentist visits, and everything else that could improve their lives.

  Maybe he could convince Ellie of that, get her down here to see all this for herself. He knew that the manager in her wouldn't be able to ignore such a major and important project, whatever she said about wanting the peace and quiet of farming in Stanberry.

  It was a possibility for the future. That, and going back to having his kids half the time once travel became easier and safer.

  “Look!” Billy abruptly shouted, pointing. “There are kids playing in that park!” He turned to his mom, expression pleading. “Can I go play too? Please?”

  “Maybe later,” Gen said, tussling his hair. “We still need to get moved in and figure out how things are done here . . . for all we know we can only use that park at certain times or something.”

  “Oh.” The six-year-old pouted as he looked down at the playing kids. “I thought we didn't have to worry about Zolos or staying inside anymore.”

  “Maybe we can go for a walk,” Nick said. “We need to head to the store anyway to pick up some food and a few other things for our new apartment anyway. While we're out and about we can look around the neighborhood, see what's here.”

  That cheered Billy up a little.

  Shopping shouldn't be all that different from before Zolos, from what the FARR worker had told them. She'd pointed them to a place within walking distance where they could get their food rations, which included not just staples but a limited selection of luxury items, as well as other essentials. Especially for the higher tiers.

  Nick kissed the top of Gen's head. “Ok, I'm going to go start moving our things to the rooms we decided on. How about you guys get ready to go? You can make up a list of stuff we need.”

  She brightened at that suggestion. “Sounds good,” she said, shooing Billy towards the door. “Come on, let's go!”

  Nick watched them disappear inside with a smile, again deeply grateful they'd chosen to come with him. If he'd been here alone this would've felt much more like the sentence it technically was, but with them here he actually looked forward to getting started.

  Zolos had devastated them, and would probably have lasting effects he hadn't even considered, but he held out hope that they could get past it. That by the time he could see his kids again this pandemic would be far behind them.

  ✽✽✽

  Letting out a weary groan of relief, Ellie settled down on the blanket Hal had laid out atop a scenic hill near the Norsons' house. As he settled down beside her she cuddled against him in the cooling evening air, both looking contentedly out at the view.

  It had been a long day. They all tended to be, these days, but today had been more stressful than most. Tallie had gotten a huge sliver as she was helping them carry firewood, and it had taken almost a half hour of heartbreaking tears before she reluctantly agreed to let them take it out.

  After that Hal had found some kid's gloves that fit her well enough, but by then she didn't want to go an
ywhere near the woodpile. Winn had mercifully invited the poor girl to come and bundle herbs with her for drying, but even so they'd lost daylight getting it all sorted out, leaving them scrambling to catch up on everything that needed to be done.

  Of course, with the supplies the relief workers had given the town they weren't in desperate need, but it galled Ellie to not be self-sufficient, or at least working towards it. Besides, whatever Gorstrom said about the country's surplus, those supplies wouldn't last forever; it was better to not be completely dependent on them when they ran out.

  She'd already seen for herself how quickly a situation should become dire, and she didn't want to be in that position again if she could help it.

  Sensing her exhaustion and stress, Hal shifted around slightly and began massaging her shoulders and upper back. Ellie groaned in relief as his strong fingers worked into sore muscles and she felt the deep-seated aches and pains, not to mention a ton of built up tension, slowly ease away.

  “Thanks, I needed that,” she murmured. “Hours of stooping out in the garden are murder on my back.”

  “Yeah, this life takes some getting used to, doesn't it?” he said, working his way down the muscles along her spine. “Aching muscles when you go to sleep, stiff muscles when you wake up.”

  He said that, but if he was exhausted by a day of backbreaking work, then so stiff he could barely move in the morning after an inadequate night's sleep on an uncomfortable bed, like Ellie felt most days, he showed no sign of it.

  Probably one of the benefits of still being in his early twenties, instead of his thirties; his body was still resilient and borderline indestructible. Also he'd started out in great shape, which probably helped.

  Then again, Ellie had thought she was in pretty great shape too, and this life was beating the stuffing out of her.

  After a few minutes of contented silence Hal abandoned the massage and wrapped his arms around her again, pulling her close. “Hey, you're still on board with our choice to stay, right?”

  Ellie twisted to give him a surprised look. “Why do you ask that?”

  He was slow to answer. “It's just that it seems like you've been struggling lately. Especially since you got Nick's letter about how things are going for him in Houston.”

  Oh. Sure, it had been a bit difficult to hear her ex-husband talk about the luxurious apartment he'd been relocated to, with power and hot water and even working phones and limited internet. Not to mention plentiful food. Looking at him back in a modern life, mostly indistinguishable from what they'd enjoyed before Zolos, then leaving her miserable hovel to cook on an outdoor stove after a day of hard work, looking forward to sleeping in an uncomfortable bed on a tarp floor that was almost impossible to keep the dirt off of, well . . .

  It could be a bit demoralizing.

  Ellie had done her best to keep her spirits up, but Hal must've seen some of what she was feeling. And he might've been feeling some of it too, since he'd also read the letter. “It did sound pretty utopian, didn't it?” she murmured.

  Hal snorted. “I'm sure he did his best to put it in the best light so we wouldn't worry about him, Gen, Billy, and everyone else who headed down there.” He sobered. “But it still highlighted that we've chosen a hard way to live. Harder than I expected it to be, going into it. It feels kind of like deciding to go camping, and then after a few days of enjoying being out in nature you realize how much it sucks to sleep on the hard ground in the freezing cold and eat unsatisfying, usually unheated food. You start looking longingly at all the comforts of home.”

  She did her best to hold back a frown. “Are you asking me if I regret staying here, or telling me that you do?”

  He shook his head firmly. “As long as I'm with you, that's all I need,” he stated, kissing her forehead. Then he hesitated. “But it hurts a bit to see the toll this life is having on you. I want you and the kids to be happy more than anything.”

  Ellie felt a surge of affection, and burrowed deeper into his embrace. “I am,” she said. “Yes, we have to work hard and there's a chance bad weather might destroy all our efforts. But being here, working to create something wonderful with friends and family, with such a tight-knit community, is the best thing I've ever been part of. It feels more . . . I don't know, real, than sitting in some room trying to convince miserable employees to work harder and be more content with their situation.”

  Hal blinked. “I think that's the first time you've ever said anything negative about your consulting work.”

  “It probably is, since part of my leadership training is focusing on the positive,” she said with a rueful laugh. “Don't get me wrong, I loved my work and I felt like I thrived in that environment. But it definitely had its downsides, and its bad times. Like anything, I guess.”

  “Yeah.” They got back to staring out at the scenery in the fading light, while Hal rocked her gently. After a few minutes, when she'd almost dismissed the conversation as done, he added, “It's pretty amazing to see how Stanberry's picked itself up from this disaster and is moving forward stronger than ever.”

  “Not just the town, but us,” Ellie said gently. “It's been amazing to see you thrive in this environment. And the kids . . . they're so brave and resilient.”

  “I know. They've got a great example in you.” He rocked her for a few more seconds. “I love you, El.”

  She shifted around so she could kiss him, long and deep. “I love you too,” she whispered. She hesitated, then added seriously, “What do you think, is this life too difficult to bring a baby into?”

  Hal was so shocked she felt him visibly jump in surprise, staring at her with wide eyes in the fading light. “Are you-” he stuttered. “Do you mean . . . ?”

  Ellie felt a moment of chagrin, and laughed sheepishly. “No, no, I didn't mean to suggest that.” She paused, then added teasingly, “Although Winn would probably be fine with watching the kids for a few more minutes, if we wanted to . . .” She nodded towards their dugout.

  He also laughed, relaxing slightly. “Well when you put it like that.” He leaned down to kiss her, letting it linger and heat up before pulling back. “I know you're strong enough for this life, El,” he said solemnly. “And I know we can flourish here. If you think we're ready for a child, there's nothing I want more.”

  “Well, there's no rush. Just so we know it's something we both want, and we can start planning and preparing for it.” Ellie stood up and offered him her hand, voice turning mischievous. “Come on, let's sneak into our house and make the most of the few minutes we still have to ourselves.”

  She bit back a shriek of surprised laughter as he stood and swept her up in his arms, starting down the hill. “You're leaving the blanket,” she told him as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

  “We'll come back for it,” he replied, not showing too much strain with her weight in spite of the exhausting day he'd had.

  Ellie rested her head on his shoulder contentedly, looking back at the hill and the idyllic scenery around it.

  Sure, this was a hard life. But a good one.

  The End

  Thank you for reading Holding On!

  I hope you'll consider taking a minute or two to leave a review. Reviews provide me with valuable feedback for improving my writing, and are also tremendously helpful for boosting a book's visibility.

  Here's a link to take you right there:

  Holding On Review Page

  I've also included a list of links to my other post-apocalyptic books on the following page, if you're interested in reading more of my work.

  Links to Post-Apocalyptic Books

  By Nathan Jones

  BEST LAID PLANS

  Fuel

  Shortage

  Invasion

  Reclamation

  Determination

  NUCLEAR WINTER

  First Winter

  First Spring

  Chain Breakers

  Going Home

  Fallen City

  MOUNTAIN MAN
/>
  Badlands

  Homecoming

  Homeland

  Mountain War

  Final Stand

  Lone Valley

  ISOLATION

  Shut In

  Going Out

  Starting Anew

  Holding On