Surviving His Scars (Angels Halo MC Next Gen Book 4)

by Terri Anne Browning

  “I…” My mouth felt as dry as a desert, and I quickly licked my lips. “I promise.”

  Another slap landed across both cheeks, making me cry out in a mixture of pain and delight. I felt the vibrations in my pussy, and I clenched my eyes closed, fighting the mini orgasm he was causing to explode deep inside me.

  “Tell me you’re mine.” His breathing was growing labored, his voice feral. Another slap had me pressing my face into the comforter-covered mattress to muffle my scream as I prayed for relief from the pleasure-filled torture his touch was producing. “Say it, precious. I need to hear you say that you are mine.”

  I turned my head enough to gulp in deep, fortifying breaths. “I’m yours,” I moaned. “Only yours, G.”

  With one more slap, he pushed me flat onto the bed and followed me down, his body blanketing mine. I felt the hardness of his erection as he pressed against me and cupped my pussy. I spread my legs, sobbing his name when he thrust two fingers deep inside me. He strummed his thumb over my clit, and I was finished.

  “G!” I screamed, my entire body convulsing from the intensity of my orgasm.

  “I have you, Monroe,” he murmured soothingly, kissing my temple over and over again while his fingers stroked me through the aftershocks of my release.

  Out of breath, all I could do was lie there. My body felt ultrasensitive and not entirely my own anymore. I didn’t even know a person could go off that fast. I hadn’t ever been able to get myself there that quickly; sometimes I couldn’t get there at all, no matter how desperately I wanted to.

  I was kind of mad at my body for being so weak where G was concerned. The whole reason I’d come to Italy was to put distance between us and get over him. Instead, I’d spread my legs and gotten off in two seconds flat at the first touch of his hands on me. Apparently I had zero willpower where this guy was concerned.

  “You’re thinking too hard, precious,” G murmured, his lips touching my cheek. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

  I wrapped my fingers around his thick wrist and pulled his hand from between my legs before turning so I could see his face. “Why are you here, G?”

  “For you,” he answered, without hesitation. “I missed you. And you weren’t wearing the medallion, so I couldn’t protect you.”

  “Why does it bother you so much?” I demanded, sitting up and fixing my clothes. My jean shorts and panties were around my knees, making my cheeks burn. I couldn’t even last long enough for him to get me naked. “It’s not your job to protect me.”

  “You belong to me, Monroe. It’s my responsibility to protect what is mine,” he said in a quiet voice. “Don’t be angry with me.”

  “I’m not mad at you,” I muttered, scooting to the edge of the bed, I stood, needing distance from him. When he was so close, I felt weak and helpless. As if I couldn’t think clearly unless he was touching me. Yet, when he did touch me, I lost all common sense.

  “Liar,” he said from behind me.

  “I’m upset with myself, not you,” I told him honestly. “This trip was to get over you, not fall into bed with you two minutes after you showed up. You don’t even want me.”

  “I never said that,” he argued.

  “Oh, please. You more than made it clear that the only role you want to play in my life is from the shadows.” Frustrated, I pushed my tangled hair out of my face and walked to the window overlooking a fountain in the back courtyard of the hotel. But I couldn’t enjoy the beauty before me.

  “You think we can have anything outside of the shadows?” His voice came from right behind me, making me jump because I hadn’t heard him move. “You think your family will allow us to be together? If I knew they would, if I knew you would be happy being with me despite all the hell they will give you for our relationship, I would make it happen.”

  “What does that mean?” I whispered as I turned to face him, unable to keep my voice from quivering with longing for things he made it sound like I would never have. “Why wouldn’t they allow us to be together?”

  He cupped my face in his hands, his eyes looking into mine with so much emotion, it was hard to breathe for a moment. “My name is Gian Fontana. My father is the one who gave your cousin Lexa her scar.”

  I saw the pain in his eyes when he said the words, heard the torment in his voice that he couldn’t hide from me. I covered his hands with mine. “You think that would stop me from loving you?”

  “Yes,” he rasped out, his eyes lowering.

  “Well, it doesn’t.” His gaze snapped back to mine. “I hate the man who did that to Lexa, but that man isn’t you, G. You’ve saved me over and over again. You would never harm me or allow anyone else to even try.” I pressed into his touch. “I’ll make Lexa and everyone else see that you are a good man.”

  “And if they don’t want to hear what you say?” He lowered his head until our gazes were even, his breath brushing over my lips, he was so close. “Will you be able to choose, precious? Because that is what it will come down to. You will have to decide who you are willing to live without.”

  Tears burned the backs of my eyes. “And you think I won’t choose you?”

  “I know it.”

  “You don’t know anything,” I growled at him. “I love you. That doesn’t stop just because my family might not like us being together. They don’t get to choose who I love or spend my life with. No one does but me.”

  I’d just told him I loved him for the second time. And once again, I was met with silence that broke my heart. But I saw his pupils dilate, the way his nostrils flared with pleasure at my confession. I didn’t know why he wasn’t telling me how he felt, but I could clearly see how much he liked it when I said those three powerful words to him.

  With a man like Enzo Fontana raising him, I couldn’t imagine him being told or even shown he was loved. It hurt my heart to think of my G growing up with no one to give him the same affection my family had surrounded my siblings and me with. Even as intimidated as I sometimes was of Aunt Raven, I always knew she loved me.

  A tear spilled down my cheek before I could stop it, my heart breaking for the boy who didn’t have anyone to love him as he should have been. “I love you,” I repeated and was rewarded with his labored inhale. His hands actually shook as they continued to cup my face. His silence didn’t hurt nearly as bad this time, and I stepped into his space. “Do you want to know who I can’t live without, who it would kill me if I had to give up? You, Gian. It will always be you.”

  “Don’t say things you don’t mean, Monroe.” His voice was harsh, but I saw the plea in his eyes.

  Two more tears broke free, and I wrapped my arms around his waist. “I love you,” I sobbed, pressing my tear-soaked face into his chest. “Please don’t make me live without you. I need you. Only you.”

  “Don’t cry,” he implored in his raspy voice. “Please, precious. Your tears are the only torture I can’t withstand.”

  Hearing the pain in his voice, I tried to stop the flow of tears. Hiccupping, I turned away from him, wrapping my arms around myself as I attempted to regain control.

  With a groan that sounded like it was being ripped from his throat, Gian wrapped his arms around me from behind. I heard his deep inhale, felt his chest expanding as he drew my scent inside himself, his entire body seeming to shudder. “No one has said they loved me since I was six. I remember the last time it happened like it was yesterday. My mom tucked me into bed, told me she loved me more than anything in the world, and then went into her room, and I never saw her again. My father killed her that night.”

  I gasped, my heart shattering at the pictures he was putting in my head.

  “She was the sweetest, most amazing woman I’d ever met. The only thing she’d ever done wrong was fall in love with a monster.” He pressed his forehead to the back of my head, breathing in deeply. “I swore I wouldn’t turn into a man like my father. Vowed the day she was buried that I would make him pay for what he did. That vow died when he hurt Lexa because your family kil
led him. But then I had to live with Carlo Santino, and I realized my father was a walk in the park compared to that bastard.”

  I tried to turn in his arms, needing to see his face, to hold him, but he tightened his hold, refusing to allow me to move.

  “When Carlo started watching Lexa, he also put surveillance on you and your sister.” I felt his lips in my hair, his slow inhale, as if he were trying to calm himself. “He wanted to give Lexa to me as a birthday present, the sick fuck. But I knew I couldn’t let him touch you. You were so little, so fucking precious, and all I could think was I couldn’t save my mother, but I could save you.”

  “Gian.”

  “Shh,” he breathed at my ear before kissing my neck, causing me to shiver. “Please, just listen.”

  I gave a small nod, and he tightened his arms almost to the point of pain for a moment before easing ever so slightly. “I only wanted to protect you, I swear. I didn’t expect to be so entranced with you as the years passed. You became an obsession for me, precious. The last thought I had before closing my eyes at night, the reason I got out of bed every morning. I’ve ached for you, and I hated myself for it because you were too young for me to be having such thoughts about.”

  “When?” I whispered, my stomach quivering at the need I heard in his voice. “When did you start wanting me?”

  “The summer you turned sixteen. You ran around in those damn cutoff shorts and that fucking cami with no bra on, and I nearly killed all those boys who wouldn’t stop gawking at you.” He sounded tortured, and for some reason, that gave me a sense of power I’d never felt before.

  I turned in his arms, and he let me this time. My arms went around his neck, my fingers stroking through the short hair there. He lowered his lashes in pleasure at my touch, masking the hunger banked in their depths. “I’ve always been yours, Gian. There was never any reason to be jealous. I’ve waited for you. Never even let another guy kiss me, because all I want is you.”

  “You think I would have let anyone live who even tried to kiss you?” He lowered his head, his nose grazing over mine before moving down to my jaw. Breathing in deeply, he skimmed his lips down my neck before stopping to lick at the pulse frantically beating at the base of my throat. “I’m not a good man. They turned me into just as big of a monster as they were. You need to understand that your family will kill me before they let me have you the way I want—fucking need—to be with you.”

  “No,” I moaned, shaking my head in denial. “You are good, Gian. You just don’t see it.”

  “Because I’ve watched over you? Protected you?” His breath was hot on my neck, his teeth sinking into my flesh and making me whimper at the pleasure-filled pain. “I will protect you until the last breath leaves my body, Monroe. But only you.”

  “Is that supposed to scare me?” I pulled back so I could glare up at him. “You think I care that you’ve done bad things? I’m not blind to the darker side of life. My father is the Angel’s Halo enforcer. He’s done bad things, too. Killed people. Broken at least a hundred laws. And yet, I still love him.”

  “Your dad is a saint compared to me, Monroe.”

  “I don’t care!” I yelled in his face. “I love you, dummy. There’s not a damn thing you can do to change how I feel about you. So just stop trying before you piss me off.”

  “I’m in charge of all of Santino’s businesses. Including his sex trafficking enterprise.”

  “Oh, shut up,” I snapped at him. “I don’t believe for a second that you let that continue. Lie to me, tell me I’m not right. I dare you.”

  His jaw clenched, but he didn’t respond.

  “And I really don’t care about the rest of the Santino empire. Do what you want, but don’t try to use the fact that you’re some crime boss to push me away. If you don’t want to be with me, just say so. Don’t be a fucking pussy about it.”

  Chapter 6

  Gian

  I’d been called plenty of names throughout my life, but a “fucking pussy” was never something anyone ever had the balls to say to my face. Monroe had no fear, however, as she glared up at me, those gray eyes of hers daring me to man up and give us what we both wanted.

  Seeing the sparks flashing in her gaze, I found a grin teasing at my lips for the first time in perhaps my entire life. My face felt stiff as my mouth tipped upward, the muscles unused to moving like that. “I’ve killed men for less, sweet Monroe.”

  That sassy tilt of her chin made my cock throb against her abdomen. “You would never hurt me like that.”

  “I just spanked your beautiful ass,” I reminded her.

  A blush instantly filled her cheeks. “Yeah, you did. But I knew you wouldn’t actually hurt me, G. And just FYI, I loved it.”

  “Noted.” Lifting her, I carried her back to the bed. Dropping her in the middle of the mattress, I followed her down even as I was pulling my shirt over my head.

  She wanted this, she was going to get it. Because I couldn’t not give her what she asked for. Monroe Masterson was my only weakness, and the precious little vixen knew it. Maybe I should have been worried she knew the power she held over me, but I couldn’t bring myself to give a single fuck.

  Her hands were like silk on my skin as she rubbed her fingers down my chest. Nothing had ever felt as good, as right, as having this girl’s hands on me. In all the years I’d watched over her, I’d thought she was too soft, too sweet for the world I lived in. But she was showing me she was so much more than I’d imagined.

  She was strong and full of fire, fearless. And it only made me want her more. Maybe she could handle my world without coming to hate me. She hadn’t even blinked when I’d told her who my father was. Maybe it really didn’t matter to her. Maybe…

  Maybe we really could have a life together without me fucking everything up.

  My lips sealed over hers, and she opened for me. Her sweetness was like a drug that went straight to my head. I felt dizzy yet more alive than I could ever remember. I got lost in our kiss, tasting and exploring her mouth until she whimpered and squirmed against me for more.

  “Please,” she panted, pulling her mouth from mine.

  “Please what, precious?” I murmured against her neck. “Tell me what you want, Monroe.”

  “You. All of you,” she whined prettily.

  “You have me,” I vowed. “There isn’t a single part of me that doesn’t belong to you.”

  “Promise?” she whispered, her eyes looking up at me with so much trust and love that I knew I didn’t deserve, but fuck, I would cherish it.

  “I promise.” I undressed her, exposing her skin inch by inch, becoming lost in her. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever set eyes on, and she was all mine. There was no way I could ever let her go now.

  Cupping the back of my head, she pulled me down for another kiss. The first brush of her lips over mine was like a hot brand to my soul, marking me as hers.

  I wanted to take my time, make this good for her, but I was so damn hungry for her. For too long, I’d denied myself the only person I wanted, and I was starving for her touch. I forced myself to leave the sweetness of her mouth and kissed my way down her amazing body until I reached the top of her pussy.

  “Please,” she whimpered, thrusting her hips upward, offering me everything I’d ever wanted.

  The first swipe of my tongue up her center had her crying out my name, fisting her fingers in my hair, holding me where she wanted me most. I grinned against her wet pussy for a second before flattening my tongue over her clit and sucking her into my mouth.

  “G!” she screamed. “More. Please more.”

  My cock was about to explode in the confines of my pants and boxer briefs, but I needed to get her off before I worried about myself. Spreading her thighs wider with my shoulders, I thrust two fingers deep into her. She was so tight, I had to work them carefully to stretch her, but she only begged for more.

  Groaning, I eased another finger into her tightness, trying to prepare her for my invasion. Her
inner walls clenched around my digits, sucking them deeper. I closed my eyes when I felt her hymen, feeling like a fucking king because I was going to be the first man in her sweet haven.

  The first and the only.

  “Oh God, Gian,” she moaned, her hips arching upward, riding my fingers and face. “I’m going… I’m… Ah… Fuck!” she screamed.

  I licked up every drop of her release, thirsty for her nectar. Her body shook with aftershocks as I took my time, working her through the powerful orgasm until she lay limp beneath me.

  Jerking to my feet, I kicked off my pants and boxer briefs. She looked up at me through her lashes, her face still flushed from having come so hard. Wrapping my hand around my cock, I stroked myself as I looked down at her.

  Monroe licked her lips, as if she were starving for a taste of my cock, but I shook my head. “Not this time, precious. I won’t last if you put that sweet mouth on me. I need you so damn bad.”

  Her pout disappeared before it could fully form, and she spread her legs a little wider for me, offering her body for my pleasure. Groaning, I moved over her and positioned my cock at her opening. The tip kissed her pretty pussy, already leaking before I even pushed into her tight heat.

  “I’ve dreamed of this,” I confessed as I slowly sank into her. She was so tight, her walls squeezed me to the point of pain, but fuck if it wasn’t the best pain of my life. “Goddamn, you feel so good.”

  “Gian,” she moaned, her chin trembling.

  “Am I hurting you?” I reached between us, rubbing my thumb over her clit. “I’m sorry, precious. I’ll stop.” It would kill me, but I’d stop if that was what she needed.

  “No!” she cried, her legs locking around my waist, trapping me inside her. “It doesn’t hurt. It’s so good, Gian.” Twin tears fell from her eyes, but she smiled up at me. “I’ve dreamed of this too. I would touch myself, thinking about you.”

  “I know,” I admitted, and she grinned.

  “I know. Sometimes I would moan a little louder than I should have just to try to get a reaction from you.” Her bottom lip pouted out. “You never did.”