“Can we talk about this after we get to the room?” I asked Gian, turning my gaze back to him.
He clenched his jaw, causing a muscle to tick, and I lowered my head, nipping at his flesh. He clenched his fingers on my hip. “Monroe,” he growled, then cursed in Italian, and I grinned. He’d been teaching me the language, and I’d gotten really good at understanding it, even if I didn’t sound all that pretty when I spoke it.
The elevator slowed then stopped on our floor. Gian’s hold tightened, and he took off at a sprint to our room. I giggled, already pulling out the keycard to swipe before he reached the door.
But the laughter died when he pushed inside and set me on my feet. The look on his face was stormy, and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to distract him with kisses and soft touches this time. “Tell me where you were going to attend school, Monroe.”
“Why does it matter now?” I asked, trying to evade the question. “I’m going to Trinity instead, so I don’t see why it matters.”
“I need to know,” he countered, backing me against the wall. Bending his head until our gazes were even, he cupped the side of my face. “Tell me, precious.”
“Princeton,” I whispered, and his face lost color.
“Princeton?” he repeated. “New Jersey?”
Biting the inside of my bottom lip, I nodded.
“You were going to put the entire country between us?”
“That was the plan, yes.” When he only glared down at me, I started to get angry. “You didn’t want to be with me.”
“No,” he denied vehemently. “I’ve always wanted to be with you. It was safer for you if I didn’t—”
“How was it safer?” I demanded. “Don’t you think it was more dangerous for me to be without you all this time than to be with you? Two guys tried to kidnap me while I was walking home from school. One of whom you killed to save me. And let’s not forget that Russian asshole who gave me a concussion. Yet another loser you had to kill to save me. Maybe if you were with me then, I wouldn’t have had to deal with either of them.”
“You were a child then,” he reminded me. “I couldn’t have been with you even if I wanted to.”
“So you didn’t really want to be with me?”
“You were fifteen fucking years old, goddamn it! Of course I couldn’t be with you.”
“There is a difference in ‘couldn’t’ and ‘wanted,’ G.” I poked him sharply in the chest. “So, which was it. You couldn’t, or you didn’t want to?”
“This isn’t about whether or not I wanted to be with you then. And before you do that thing you’re so damn good at and turn this around on me, yes, I wanted to be with you even then. But I couldn’t. Because you were fifteen!” He inhaled deeply, trying to calm his anger. “This is about you wanting to put three thousand miles between us because you were pissed at me.”
“And I was supposed to want to stay near you when I was hurting? Do you think it was just a tantrum I was throwing to get my way?” I pushed at his shoulder and was surprised when he actually backed up a step. Taking advantage of the distance, I moved away from the wall and stomped into the bedroom.
Arguing was the last thing I wanted to do on our last night together in Rome, but obviously, that was what we were going to be doing.
“You broke my heart that night in New York. I thought…” I swallowed around the sudden lump in my throat. “I thought I wasn’t ever going to see you again. So, yes, I decided on the one college I’d been accepted to that would put the most distance between us.”
“You were going to give up seeing your family to be away from me?” His voice was full of disbelief.
A small scream escaped me in my frustration, and I turned to face him. “Listen to me, Gian. I love my family very much. But I have no issue giving them up. Whether for a short time while I’m away at college or forever, if it comes down to it. Haven’t I already told you that? Didn’t you believe me when I told you I can and will walk away from them if they were to make me choose?”
“Saying something is different from actually following through with it.” He scrubbed his hands over his face. “I don’t want you to have to give up your family for me. You deserve everything you want. I don’t want to fuck up your life.”
“You think being with you would fuck up my life?” I balled my hands into fists at my sides, wanting to hit him for being so stupid, yet unable to handle the idea of causing him physical pain.
“Yes!” he exploded.
My eyes began to sting as they filled with tears. “If that’s what you really think, then why are you here with me now?”
“Because I’m not strong enough to walk away from you,” he rasped out, a muscle ticking in his jaw. “Even though I know I’m not good for you, not good enough to be with someone as precious as you, I’m a selfish bastard, and I can’t let you go.”
“Well, thank fuck for that, huh?” Angrily, I dashed away the tears as they spilled over my lashes. A sob started to bubble up, and I turned away, not wanting him to see how close to breaking I was.
I heard him groan as if he were in physical pain only a second before he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. “Don’t cry,” he pleaded, kissing the back of my head. “I’m sorry for yelling.”
“I’m not crying because you yelled,” I snapped, pushing his hands away and taking several much-needed steps away from him. His touch did nothing but distract me, and I needed a clear head to fight with him.
Scrubbing at the tears that continued to fall, I jerked around to face him. “I’m upset because you still don’t want to be with me. Yes,” I said, lifting a hand to stop him from arguing when he opened his mouth. “You’re here, but you obviously don’t want to be.”
“I only want you to be happy, Monroe. If you want Princeton, you deserve Princeton. If you want to be with your family, I want to give them to you. If you want me, I know I’ll be the luckiest motherfucker who ever lived. But I can’t give you any of those except myself. Your family will stand in our way, and I’m a wanted man on the East Coast just for having the last name Fontana.”
“You idiot,” I sobbed. “Don’t you know that all I want is you?”
“Look at me, precious,” he commanded in a thick voice. My eyes collided with his, and he grabbed my hips, jerking me against him. “There is nothing I’m scared of except losing you. My greatest fear is that you will wake up one morning and realize you could do so much better than the monster lying beside you.”
“My biggest fear is that one day I’ll fall off that pedestal you have me on, and you’ll walk away without a backward glance,” I whispered around the lump in my throat.
He lifted me, and I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist. “I don’t have you on a pedestal,” he denied, his eyes blazing. “You’re exactly where you should be. On a throne for me to bow at your feet.”
“Gian—”
His lips cut off my chiding tone. I thrust my fingers into his short hair, kissing him back, desperate for him. It wasn’t until my back hit the mattress that I even realized he’d been walking.
I shoved at his shoulders, and he rolled onto his back, taking me with him to lie on top of him. Pushing myself up, I straddled his waist and looked down at him, all the love I had for him shining from my eyes. “I will never leave you. You are the one person in this world I can’t live without. You are my everything, G. My happiness starts and ends with you.”
His eyes darkened, and he flipped me onto my back once again. He opened his mouth, and I prayed he was going to say “I love you” or at least repeat the vows I’d just made him.
Instead, he kissed me so deeply, I forgot about everything but his taste on my tongue.
Until I woke up the next morning, alone in our bed.
Chapter 9
Gian
Monroe had been asleep for hours, but I couldn’t stop looking at her to do the same. She was pressed up against my side, her arms wrapped around my waist, her thick, dark hair spread over
my pillow. I was lying with my head propped up on my hand, looking down at her beautiful face while tracing my thumb over her jaw.
Her skin was so soft, I was always worried I would damage it with how callused my hands were. Yet she loved my hands on her, the differences in our textures bringing her pleasure and joy that I was never going to be able to deny her. My precious girl could have asked for a star plucked from the sky to wear around her neck, and I would have found a way to make it happen.
I didn’t like us arguing earlier. She deserved so much better than me, but I was too selfish to give her up. Not that any other man could take her from me. I would kill any sonofabitch who tried.
Even if that man was her father.
Lowering my head, I skimmed my lips down her cheek. She sighed happily and moved closer to me in her sleep, her arms tightening around my waist. But before I could reach her lips, to kiss her awake and make love to her all over again, my phone rang.
She whined prettily, and I quickly grabbed my phone to turn it off. But when I saw who it was, my blood ran cold. Silencing the ringer, I kissed Monroe’s brow and carefully untangled myself from her.
I walked into the bathroom and shut the door before returning the call.
Five minutes later, I hung up, pissed and dreading what I had to do.
I ached to take Monroe with me, but there was no way I could. Not when I had to deal with that bastard.
When Santino died, I’d taken over everything. Except the sex trafficking. My adoptive father’s business partner in that particular trade was more than happy to accept the full profits. All I cared about was getting as far away from that business as possible, but as the years passed, I’d regretted not taking the motherfucker out and putting a stop to Santino’s legacy of trafficking girls, boys, and women.
Just because I wasn’t a part of it didn’t mean Monroe would be okay with my letting it continue when I could do something about it.
Now, it looked like I was going to have to do just that.
But it meant leaving her behind to handle it. She would be safer with her family. Given the man I would be dealing with, I needed to be at full attention, show no weakness. And the only weakness I had was sleeping like the angel she was on the bed we’d made ours over the past six weeks.
Reluctantly, I walked over to the bed and, leaning down, brushed a soft kiss over her forehead. “I’ll be back for you as soon as I can, precious. You’re going to be angry with me when you wake up, but I’ll make it up to you when I get back.” Reaching into the slacks I’d already pulled on, I retrieved her necklace that I’d kept with me from the time she’d left it behind in New York. “Wear this, and I’ll be with you.”
I kissed her one more time, placed the necklace where she would find it, and forced myself to walk away.
Soon, I would be back for her.
Soon, she would be right beside me once more, and I wasn’t ever going to let her go again.
Soon, I promised myself as I slid into the back of the car waiting for me downstairs. And I kept repeating that mantra all the way to the airport and during the long flight to deal with the fucker who was standing in the way of my forever with the only person in the world who would ever truly matter.
Chapter 10
Monroe
Feeling like I was leaving a piece of myself behind, I got on the plane that would take me home. I’d already purposely missed three other flights back to the US in the hope Gian would come back to our room.
Our last night replayed in my head, and I wondered if the argument we’d had before spending the entire night making love had been worse than I’d let myself believe. Was making love to me until I was so exhausted I passed out on top of him his way of telling me goodbye?
I didn’t want to think so, but a part of me couldn’t help wondering.
In my heart, however, I knew it must have been work-related and he’d just forgotten to leave a note. What he had left was my necklace. As soon as I realized he was gone, I’d put it on and told him I was pissed he’d left me behind.
Whatever was going on, he should have taken me with him. Where he went, I wanted to follow. I was going to have to beat that into his hard, stubborn head. Until then, all I could do was talk to him through the little medallion that hung around my neck.
We’d been with each other night and day for weeks, so there hadn’t been any reason for me to have his number. It hadn’t even entered my mind. Of course, he had mine—I didn’t doubt that for a single moment—but now that he was gone, I realized my mistake.
Frustrated with myself, I sat down in my seat in first class with a huff. “I’m leaving without you,” I muttered as I glared out the window overlooking the tarmac. “You should be here beside me, dummy.”
“What was that, dear?”
I turned my head to find a woman with short white hair taking the seat beside me. She was dressed in a chic coral suit with multiple rows of huge pearls around her neck. The color of her lipstick was a shade darker than her suit, and when she smiled at me, I relaxed slightly.
“Sorry, just talking to myself,” I told her, automatically wrapping my fingers around the medallion. Despite not wearing it for weeks, old habits were hard to break once I felt it around my neck again.
Her gaze went to my hand. “A lucky charm?”
“A gift, from my boyfriend,” I told her with a small smile. “It’s supposed to protect me.”
“Sounds like he loves you,” she said with a knowing twinkle in her eyes as she finally took her seat.
I pressed my lips together. Gian did love me; I knew he did. But until he said the words, part of me would always wonder if it was just wishful thinking.
The flight attendant stopped beside the woman, a professional smile glued to her face. “A glass of wine, ladies?” she asked in slightly accented English.
“Just water for me,” I told her, slightly nauseated. I’d woken up that morning feeling sick to my stomach because I knew I couldn’t wait any longer for Gian to come back. Mom was getting pissed that I kept missing my flight and told me to get my ass home or she was coming to get me herself.
“Upset tummy?” my seatmate asked sympathetically.
“A little,” I admitted.
She pulled several peppermints from the purse she’d placed at her feet. “Here, dear. These always help me.”
Gratefully, I accepted one and popped it into my mouth. The mint flavor exploded on my tongue and eased some of the discomfort the nausea was causing to roil in my stomach. “Thank you.” I offered her my hand. “I’m Monroe.”
“Connie,” she introduced. “I’m on my way home to New York. Spent the last week here with my daughter, but I have to head home while she stays behind with her husband for another two weeks. She’s meeting his extended family for the first time.”
“I’m headed for California,” I told her, accepting my glass of water from the flight attendant while Connie took a glass of red wine. “I spent the summer here with my boyfriend. Now I’m headed home for college.”
“And the boyfriend isn’t traveling with you? Or was it one of those vacation flings?” She grinned. “That’s my favorite trope in romance novels.”
I laughed softly. “No, not a fling. There was an issue at work, so he had to go back a few days early without me.”
Connie was good company on the flight to New York. She made me smile and even laugh a few times, all while giving me one peppermint after another when my stomach continued to bother me. I was sad to see her go when we parted ways at JFK.
During my layover, I bought two bags of peppermints because my stomach was a royal mess by the time my next flight was being called to board. My seatmate for the trip to California wasn’t nearly as nice as Connie.
The man was in his forties and grumpy as hell. The few times he did speak to me, he was all snappy, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from snapping back. But I knew it would only make the flight that much more uncomfortable, and my stomach was so upset, I didn�
�t want to cause myself more issues.
Deciding to ignore him, I put in my earbuds and kept my gaze turned out the window, popping another peppermint as soon as I finished one. I fought against the rising nausea throughout the entire trip, but as soon as we landed and were let off the airplane, I ran for the nearest bathroom.
After emptying everything inside of me, which was nothing more than peppermint-flavored water and gastric juices, I cleaned myself up and went to grab my things.
By the time I got outside, Maverick and Mila were both waiting for me. Seeing my brother and sister, I dropped everything right there and took off running. Spotting me, Mav laughed and scooped me up in his arms, but when he started to swing me around, I begged him not to.
Concern darkened his gray eyes. “You look pale, Mon.”
“There was turbulence on the plane, and I got sick,” I lied. “My stomach still isn’t happy with me.” I threw my arms around his neck, holding him tightly as I fought the sudden urge to cry. I’d missed my brother and sister over the last six weeks, but I was missing Gian even more. Pressing my face into Maverick’s shoulder to hide my eyes, I forced a laugh. “You smell like River’s perfume.”
He placed me on my feet. “She wanted to come with us to get you, but she’s babysitting Sofia today.”
“How has that been going?” I asked as we walked over to where Mila was still standing by our mom’s SUV, her hands on her hips, waiting for me to come to her. “You two haven’t mentioned her much.”
“As expected. She’s a drama queen.” He rolled his eyes. “But thankfully, Aunt Raven has been making her work so much that she doesn’t have a lot of time to cause any trouble.”
“But River has to babysit her?” I asked with lifted brows.
“It’s Sunday,” my brother said with a shrug. “The garage isn’t open, and neither is the bar. Sofia works at both, so this is her day off.”
Surviving His Scars (Angels Halo MC Next Gen Book 4) Page 6