How to Elude a Vampire (VRC: Vampire Related Crimes Book 2)

by Alice Winters

  Brooks leans forward as I step back to give him space, but I don’t sit down. I don’t want to waste energy when it’s extremely likely that he’ll refuse to do as I’ve asked, and I’ll need to remind him why answering me is the better option. “Why did you target that bus?”

  “Why? Because Detective Finnigan Hayes was on it, of course.” I nearly punch him again just because he spoke Finn’s name. I want to destroy him until he explains clearly why he’d try touching Finn.

  “Why were you targeting Detective Hayes?” Brooks asks.

  “Because he works for the VRC.”

  “So if that was me getting on that bus…?”

  “Then that would have been you we were trying to kill. Your whole fucking unit is going to go down.”

  “Why would you want to take down the VRC?”

  “Because you pricks think you’re like gods. You guys think you’re better than the rest of us and can just condemn whoever you please. It’s time to put an end to it.”

  “Why?” Brooks asks.

  “It’s corrupt!”

  How are we corrupt? Overall, I’d say that we strive to be very just. Occasionally, I might pull out my superiority card like I’m doing at this moment. But just because we’re vampires doesn’t mean we don’t use the same protocols when making an arrest. And they still go to court like the humans. Did we arrest someone they know? Someone who is now behind bars, so they’re trying to get revenge on the outside? It’s highly possible. I would assume that Finn had been working the arrest with us if that’s the case, which will make it easier to pin down which case it’s from. He hasn’t been with the unit as long as the rest of us, since he’s the newest detective. But I suppose they could have targeted him just because of who he is.

  “Who’s asked you to do this?” Brooks asks.

  He shakes his head. “No one’s asked us for shit. We just know what we need to make this city livable.”

  “It’s gonna be real livable inside the prison,” I assure him.

  We “talk” to the rest, but I don’t get anything more than I got out of the first man. Two of them refused to talk and Brooks had to force me to stop trying to get them to speak.

  When I get back to the house with the dogs and a new phone, I notice Aria’s here. While she’s half-vampire, I don’t believe she knows how to fight and wouldn’t be much protection for Finn. But she still has superior strength and could help if needed. Most of all, though, she cares about her brother who practically raised her until he was ten and she was five.

  I smile at her when I walk in and find Finn and Orin across from her.

  “Hey, babe,” Finn says.

  “Hey.”

  “I was talking to the dog,” he teases. “Come, my sweeties!”

  Hela and Artemus scramble on the floor as they run to him like they haven’t seen him all day. He just looks at them and they fawn all over him like he’s the light of their lives. Seeing as he’s the light of my life as well, I don’t mind.

  God, if anyone could hear my thoughts they’d realize that I’ve lost my mind—and over a human!

  “How’d it go?” Finn asks as he cradles Hela with one hand and pets Artemus with the other.

  So I take some time to tell them what Brooks and I were able to get out of the attackers. I don’t bother telling them how I got the information since I don’t want Orin thinking I’m not fit for his son. Or too rash or something. Violent, maybe. Why the fuck do I care? I really am ill.

  I can’t seem to just sit down and relax, so I step up to where Finn is sitting and pull him to me until his back is resting against me. Then I lean down and kiss the top of his head. He tips his head back and smiles up at me. It’s such a genuine smile; a smile that takes over his whole face.

  How can he always be so happy after everything he’s gone through?

  I promise to myself that I’ll make sure that smile stays on his face, but I’ll protect him at any cost to make sure that happens.

  “What’s going on in that scary head of yours?” he teases.

  “Nothing but kittens and daisies.”

  He snorts. “I can’t imagine you dealing with a kitten. You’d be all ‘You dare purr at me! You think I am but a mat for you to lay your fluffy head upon? I’m too masculine to hold such a weak creature,’” Finn taunts.

  I narrow my eyes at him before picking up Hela. She’s overcome with joy, whole body wiggling as she stares at me with those tiny eyes. I mean, her brain has to be the size of a pea, right? And she’s kind of ugly, isn’t she? “Look at me being masculine with this… creature.”

  “You’re holding her like she’s diseased. She’s as far away from your body as she can get. You look like you’re preparing to drop her off the edge.”

  I start bringing her in. The closer she comes toward my body the happier she’s getting. I glance at Artemus who also seems excited about this for some reason. But I don’t mind showing him affection. While I don’t kiss on him and maul him like Finn does, I keep him close and care deeply for him.

  But this thing. Why is it so happy?

  Everyone is watching me with bated breath, and I regret even picking her up. Do I have to hug her now? Is a foot away close enough? Do I just smile and toss her back to Finn?

  “Why are you guys staring at me?” I grumble.

  Finn’s smile widens. “We’re just waiting.”

  Aria leans into Finn. “I’m scared he’s going to eat her. He’s looking at her like he’s going to eat her.”

  “Nah, he definitely looks different than that when he’s preparing to eat me, if you get what I mean,” Finn says.

  “Ew, you’re disgusting,” Aria says.

  So there I am, hoping that’s the end of it. We’ve forgotten about this. I’ll just discreetly dump the dog on the floor and move on.

  They all return to staring at me. I have to do it. I have to commit. I’m given no choice. This is the end of my ruling as one of the most powerful vampires of all, feared by many, respected by most. I will end it at this very moment.

  I hug the dog.

  She’s bursting with joy as I look up to see Finn taking pictures.

  “That’s it, I’m eating it,” I growl as I pretend to bite the dog’s bat ear. She doesn’t care, she’ll sacrifice two ears for this hug. “This is disgusting.” I shove Hela into Finn’s arms, glad to be finished with it all. The only thing I want to hug and kiss on is Finn, but he looks unbelievably happy, so I suppose it was worth it.

  Chapter Twelve

  FINN

  When we walk down the stairs, the kitchen is filled with smells. Clearly, Orin is trying too hard because I sure as shit never had a grand breakfast like this when I lived here.

  “I think he’s planning on drugging us,” I whisper to Marcus as we walk into the kitchen. Orin turns around and glares at me. “Can’t I make my favorite son a delicious breakfast?”

  “I won’t eat anything in case it’s drugged. I’ll carry you out,” Marcus assures me. “I’ll fight him if I have to.”

  “I’m not… drugging you guys. Stop being so dramatic about everything,” Orin grumbles. “I just thought you’d appreciate a nice wonderful breakfast and consider moving in with me for the rest of your life.”

  I give Marcus a look. “I think he’s trying to kidnap me. Orin, my great and amazing father, I don’t want to be kidnapped right now.”

  Orin stares at us. “What about after breakfast?”

  “I suppose that’ll depend on how good breakfast is.”

  We have a seat at the table and Orin slides a plate filled with bacon and French toast in front of me. “Marcus, do you want any?” Orin asks.

  “Sure, just a little.” Since Orin and Marcus are both true vampires, they can both eat human food. While they don’t have to eat it like a human does, they seem to enjoy the taste and choose to, but rarely in public. Broadcasting that they’re true vampires generally doesn’t happen, although most vampires they come across immediately recognize their power
.

  Orin dishes him up a plate and hands it over with a smile that makes Marcus give him a clear look of confusion. It’s like he doesn’t comprehend what niceness is or something.

  Then Orin slides into a seat across from us with his plate, but instead of digging in, he stares at us.

  I lean into Marcus, cup my hand over my mouth and whisper in his ear. “Do vampires go mad?”

  Orin’s smile falls. “I’m not going mad. I just want to show you how much nicer it is here in my safe and wonderful home where I can smother and protect you.”

  “At least he’s being honest.”

  “You said we could talk in the morning,” Orin says.

  “I did,” I admit as I stick a piece of perfectly crisped bacon in my mouth. Artemus stares at me as I crunch and Hela paws at my leg like I might accidentally drop my piece of bacon into their awaiting mouths.

  “So?”

  I look over at Marcus who takes a deep breath and gives me a nod. We spent some time this morning talking it over and while we didn’t come to the conclusion I wanted, I didn’t want to be selfish, so I promised to compromise.

  “We understand your concerns and I know they’re also Marcus’s concerns. We still have to talk to Brooks about it because I don’t want to leave the VRC. Honestly, that isn’t going to happen when we don’t know that this has anything to do with me. But, I will work in the office only until there is one full week without incident. If, in that time, nothing happens, I’m going back out in the field with Marcus.”

  Orin thinks about that for a moment, which makes me glad. I was afraid he’d be upset with our decision and immediately disagree with it.

  “Inside the office, he’ll be surrounded by plenty of people who will take the best care of him. I’m going to hope that he can work with Karsyn, who you met yesterday,” Marcus explains. “And for some reason, Finn’s the only person Karsyn likes, so I can guarantee he’ll protect him. Finn has also agreed to not leave the office without me at any point.”

  Orin slowly nods. “While it’s not… what I was hoping for, it’s better than you out there in the field. But there will be one more stipulation.”

  “Which is?”

  “You’re staying in my house with me,” Orin says. “The mansion’s large enough that we won’t be on top of each other. You have the second floor to yourself when Aria’s not here, which is a bonus. I also have more security measures to keep you safe and I’m here to protect you.”

  I open my mouth to say it’s absolutely not necessary but Marcus nods. “Deal. We’re not moving in, but we’ll stay until we’re sure the threat has passed. Yesterday, all of the vampires I… talked to assured me that they’re targeting the VRC and they believed that Finn would be an easy target because he’s human.”

  “Too bad they didn’t know about my ancient kung fu powers,” I say.

  Orin and Marcus both ignore me and refuse to acknowledge my kung fu.

  “Then it’s agreed,” Orin says. “For now.”

  “That sounded like a threat,” I tease.

  Orin shifts his attention to me. “I’ll lock you up in a tower if I have to. Do not underestimate the power of a father.”

  I smile because I love the way he treats me like I’m his own child when he doesn’t have to. He fought so hard to get me as well and I’m so thankful he did. “Yes, but I’m stubborn.”

  “Stubborn as a mule,” Orin grumbles.

  “He sounds like one too,” Marcus adds, and I glare at him.

  “No, you’re not allowed to throw in some evil shit. You’re supposed to be on my side!”

  Marcus smiles at me. “Ears like one too.”

  “Orin! Papa! This creepy old man is being mean to me!”

  “He’s the best you’ll ever get, Finn. Let him verbally abuse you if that’s what it takes to keep him around. I thought you’d never sucker anyone into liking you.”

  I turn in my chair to Artie. “Will you love me? I don’t need no man in my life. I’m more than happy to be alone and surrounded by dogs. Papa Bitey and Fangy McFangyface can go fuck off. Or they can love each other instead, and I’ll just love you.”

  Artie thinks this is the best idea ever and shows it by continuously wagging his tail. I give him and Hela a bite of bacon for showing me their undying love. Marcus’s bacon, of course. Why sacrifice any of my bacon?

  “How about it, Marcus, you and me until death do us part?” Orin says as he holds his hand out. And there I am questioning what happened to Marcus as he sets his hand in Orin’s. Is he ill? Has he been replaced? Does he love torturing me this much?

  Orin kisses the top of Marcus’s hand. “I’ve had many years to learn how to be the best lover.”

  I cringe. “Ew, you’re both disgusting and that’s not true or you wouldn’t have had five wives, none of which are anywhere to be seen.”

  “Oh, Cordelia and I are still very much married. She comes around every time she needs something or money. How many times have you been married, Marcus?”

  “None. I spent most of my life convinced romance is a hoax.”

  I shift in my chair, knife in hand. “Excuse me?”

  “I mean… I’ve been waiting for my one true love, Finnigan Barbara Hayes.”

  “Barbara,” Orin snickers as Marcus pulls his hand free. “Finn, I should have renamed you when I got you. I mean, you technically became mine, right? I would have named you…”

  “I believe simply Human is a good name,” Marcus says.

  “Do either of you actually love me or do both of you just get off on being bitey little assholes?”

  “That one,” Orin says with a nod.

  “I’m going to go be lazy and watch a movie in the theater room that you claim isn’t a theater,” I say to Orin.

  “Alright. I’ll be doing… stuff. Don’t go outside.”

  “You can’t keep me in a bubble!”

  Marcus turns to Orin. “How is the creation of the bubble going? Did you make it soundproof like I asked?”

  “I’m working on it. For such a tiny body his vocal range is outstanding. We’ll see how it goes,” Orin says.

  I promptly hold my plate in front of the dogs and let them lick it spotless, which I know annoys Orin. Like he’d catch something from them that the dishwasher would somehow miss. “Lick it all, babies.”

  Then I get up and slip it in the dishwasher. “Have fun on your honeymoon. I’ll send flowers.”

  “Isn’t that what you send to a funeral?” Orin asks.

  “Exactly,” I say as I head off. “Ta-ta, assholes.”

  Before I get up the stairs, Marcus sidles up to me. “Hey, handsome.”

  “Are you done being big man in front of my papa? Proclaiming love isn’t real.”

  “Nah, probably not, and that’s how I used to feel. You know I love you. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

  “What’s that?”

  “That man who… harassed you on the bus yesterday.”

  “There were a lot of men who harassed me on the bus yesterday and even a lady,” I say as I head down the hall with him by my side.

  “The disgustingly annoying one.”

  “Oh, Claude?” I ask.

  His entire body stiffens at the name. “Yes. Claude,” he growls.

  I love it when he gets all growly like that. It probably shouldn’t make me grin when it’s clear he despises the man, but I can’t help but enjoy it. “What about him? Is this about him wishing to have sex with me?”

  “Do not mention those words again.” He stops walking and Hela crashes into his ankles. Even Artie jumps and turns to look at him. He closes his eyes as his nostrils flare.

  I cock my head as his reaction sinks in. “He did look familiar… oh no…” And that’s when it hits me why he looked familiar. “Is Claude your brother? I remember you showing me a picture of him!”

  Marcus’s eyes narrow. “He is no brother of mine. He deserves death for what he said to you! If you see him again, please
call me or kill him.”

  “Just one or the other? It doesn’t matter?” I ask like this is really important. “Do I call first or kill first? Which would you prefer?”

  While I’m straight-up joking, the look on Marcus’s face tells me that he might not be. “Death is too kind for someone who looks at you with lust, and I would just prefer his life to end quickly so I never have to stare at his face again, so whatever is the quickest for… demolishing his life.”

  I snort as I pull open a door to the “living room.” I really don’t know anyone else who has a screen that’s the size of an entire wall. But if Orin wants to pretend it’s a TV, he can. “Why do you hate your brother? Like I get it, he’s a dick who clearly is in love with himself and thinks everyone else should be too, but is that enough to warrant death? Or did something else happen?”

  Marcus looks at me like he can’t fathom why I couldn’t figure this out myself. “He tried… he tried touching you and… he asked you to have… to have…” He bares his fangs and looks away like it hurts him to even say it.

  “To fornicate with me?” Why am I enjoying the pain this is causing Marcus?

  He growls again, rage filling him. “Never speak those words again. I can’t deal with it.”

  “You’re cute, you know that?”

  The next expression he gives me isn’t any too cute, but it makes me laugh. Clearly, he’s not interested in telling me what Claude has done for death to come to him… well, besides even looking at me. Then again, I could one hundred percent see that being Marcus’s full reasoning.

  We settle down in a chair where I push the armrest up and lean into his side. Artie thinks that means it’s a perfect spot for him and tries crawling onto my lap. I grab the remote and turn the TV on as I lean into Marcus.

  “What do you want to watch?” I ask as Hela picks Marcus’s lap to curl up on.

  “Watch?”

  “Yeah? Or can you not stop imagining your brother’s death in your head?”

  “That one. I’m just thinking of all the ways. Beheading, staked, shot with a thousand bullets, tree shredder.”

  “Oh… well, this turned morbid,” I realize.