The Kilwade Tragedy

by Terry Keys

  “So, your license is worth more than being with someone?”

  “Blaze, license or not I was just saying. This is many levels of inappropriate. I let you in because, well look at you. I thought you may need help. But I think you need to leave now. And I don’t want you to find another doctor but this can’t happen again. You’re my patient and I’m your doctor. That’s it.”

  Suddenly a male voice boomed from upstairs.

  Dr. Smyrl and Blaze locked eyes.

  “I thought you’d be right back,” the voice said now standing behind them in the doorway.

  “Jesus buddy, are you okay?” He asked Blaze.

  “Who the hell is this?” Blaze asked.

  “Blaze, it’s none of your business. You need to leave now. I’m asking you nicely.”

  “I thought this was a patient of yours?”

  Dr. Smyrl got up and moved toward her boyfriend, Adam. “He is a patient. He had a few questions but he’s leaving now.”

  “So, this is why we can’t be together?”

  “Be together? What the hell is he talking about?” Adam asked.

  She put a hand on his chest. “Honey, I’ll explain later. Blaze, please don’t make me call the police.”

  “Call the cops?” Blaze repeated now walking towards them both.

  Dr. Smyrl stepped behind Adam.

  “You heard her, kid. Show’s over.”

  Blaze smiled at Adam then he winked. “Lucky man.”

  He slowly walked to the door then stopped and took one last look back at Dr. Smyrl and her boyfriend. Blaze raised his hand and made a finger gun. He pointed it at Adam and pretended to shoot him. Then he smiled, turned to leave and slammed the door behind him.

  Chapter 23

  Dr. Smyrl anxiously waited for the phone to pick up. She, like most doctors, respected the privilege she swore to protect with her clients. But this was something more – this was dangerous. Blaze was dangerous.

  “Hello,” Steph said, fatigue in her voice. “I’m sorry to bother you so late.”

  “Dr. Smyrl?”

  “Yes. Have you seen Blaze this

  afternoon?”

  “No. He hasn’t been home yet – why?

  You’re scaring me.”

  Dr. Smyrl could hear the strain in her voice

  now.

  “He just left my house.” “Your house?”

  “He’d been in a fight at the high school.

  He said some boys jumped him. His face is beat

  up pretty badly.”

  Steph cried softly. “I don’t know what to

  do anymore. Should I keep him home from

  school?”

  “He was pretty emotional. I told you

  before and I’ll say it again now – I’m really

  worried about him.”

  Steph said nothing.

  “There’s one other thing.” She paused

  before continuing. “He also asked me about

  being with him.”

  “Excuse me? Being with him? What do

  you mean?”

  “Yes. He wanted to find another doctor

  and for us to you know…”

  “Why would he have said something like

  that?”

  “I don’t know, but he really scared me

  tonight.”

  “I’m sorry. I will talk to him tonight. That

  just doesn’t make any sense. I’ll call him now.” “Honestly, I don’t know if I should see

  him anymore. But he needs help.”

  “So, you’re quitting on him?”

  “I don’t know what you want me to say. I

  will recommend someone that I trust but-” “But you’re still quitting on him?” “He came to my house, he yelled at me

  and threatened my boyfriend.”

  “What? He threatened your boyfriend?

  What are you talking about?”

  “After Blaze rang the doorbell, I looked at

  my door camera to see who it was. It’s late and I

  was in bed. I told my boyfriend, Adam that it

  would only take a minute. Blaze and I talked for

  more than a minute and Adam ended up coming

  downstairs to check on me. Blaze immediately

  got angry and began raising his voice. As he left,

  he held up his hand like a gun and aimed it at

  Adam.”

  Steph dropped her cell phone and cried

  hard into her hands.

  “Hello?” Dr. Smyrl said. “Are you still

  there?”

  Finally, Steph picked the phone back up. “I know this is a lot to handle. No parent

  wants to hear these kinds of things said about

  their child. I am completely sympathetic towards

  that but-”

  “But I need to face the music?”

  Dr. Smyrl sighed. “I’m afraid so. Blaze is

  dealing with some very deep emotional scars.

  And now with all of the bullying at school…” “What do you think I should do?” “You need to access his phone and

  computer. Dig into his social media accounts.

  And…”

  “And what?”

  “The guns. You need to take control of

  them. Are they in a safe now?”

  “Well no. That was something he and my

  husband did together. Honestly, I don’t even

  know how many he has or what kind of guns. Or

  what my ex may have taken.”

  Dr. Smyrl wanted to scold her but she

  knew that wouldn’t help. She said nothing. “I know what you’re thinking – that I’m a

  horrible mom.”

  “No, I’m not thinking that at all. But I do

  think that you need to secure them now.” “It’s not going to be that easy. Like I said, I

  don’t even know what he has. He could give me

  two and say that was all. You really think he’d

  hurt someone?”

  “Hurt people hurt people. It’s old and

  tired but it’s true.”

  Steph said nothing.

  “Listen, it’s late. I’ll call you tomorrow

  with a recommendation on a new doctor. Good

  luck with your talk tonight.”

  Steph stared down at the phone. She was

  numb.

  “Mom, what’s wrong?” Kevin said

  creeping down the staircase.

  She shook her head. “Nothing for you to

  be concerned with. You should go back to bed.” Slowly he turned around. He knew

  something was wrong. It probably had

  something to do with his brother Blaze. He

  wanted to ask again but also didn’t want to push

  it.

  “Kevin, do you know how many guns

  Blaze has?”

  He froze. “No clue mom. I’m not really

  into shooting and stuff so no, I really don’t know.

  Why?”

  “I just know that he likes to shoot but I

  really have no idea about any of them. That’s all.” That was a very random question Kevin

  thought.

  “Goodnight, mom.”

  “Goodnight.”

  Steph crept up the stairs and opened the

  door to Blaze’s room.

  She walked over to his bed and bent down

  to look under it.

  There were three or four gun cases that she

  could see. She reached under and dragged one

  out.

  Gently she popped the clips on the case

  and opened it. She had no idea what kind of gun

  she was looking at. It looked like a scary one like

  she’d seen on television.

  A tear rolled down one cheek. She reached

  up and wiped it away.

  Then she reached into the case and took

 
the gun out to hold it. It was a lot heavier than

  she’d imagined it would be. There was a scope on

  top. She held the gun up like she was shooting it

  and looked through it.

  Suddenly she heard the front door open

  and close.

  “Shit. Shit. Shit,” she said scrambling now

  to put the gun back into its case.

  It had fallen closed and one of the locks

  had clipped back into place.

  “Damnit.”

  She fumbled with the case and then the

  door sprang open.

  Steph looked up and locked eyes with

  Blaze. For a second neither of them moved. She’d never seen so much anger in his

  eyes.

  “Mom, what the f-,” he paused and took a

  deep breathe. “What the hell are you doing in

  here? And what are you doing with my gun?” She looked down at the weapon, but she

  said nothing.

  “It doesn’t matter. Just put it down and get

  the hell out. Now!” He yelled pointing out into

  the hallway.

  She had some nerve coming into his room

  and going through his things.

  Steph closed her eyes and then popped

  them open. “No. No, Blaze I’m not leaving. And

  I’m taking these when I do leave,” she said

  shaking the gun back forth.

  Blaze walked over and yanked the AR-15

  from her hands. She tried to resist but it was no

  use.

  “Mom, get the hell out! And never come

  into my room again. Don’t you know what

  privacy means?”

  “This is my house, Blaze. I will go into any

  room I please anytime I please.”

  She tried to sound tough, stern, and

  parental. But Blaze just smiled and then laughed. “You’ve got to be kidding me? I’ve been

  taking care of myself for as long as I can

  remember. I wash my own clothes, pay for

  almost all of my own things. Name one motherly

  thing you actually do for me?”

  “Blaze, I do a lot for you!”

  “Okay, name something. Anything.” “I’m not going to play this game with you.

  I want all of the guns, Blaze.” She walked over to his computer. “Turn it on and unlock it.” He smirked. “Yeah right. I bought that too. Every piece of it.”

  “Now, Blaze.”

  “I’ll make you a deal Stephanie. When I die, I’ll leave you the password. Then you can look at whatever you want.”

  “I’m not leaving until you turn it on and unlock it, Blaze.”

  He pointed to the bed. “Well you can camp out here with me. You don’t get to suddenly decide one day that now you’re going to be a parent.”

  She walked over to him and got right into his face. “You listen to me.”

  Blaze took a step back. “You know speaking of parents, when had you planned on telling me about Richard?”

  She felt a lump raise in her throat. How long had he known? How the hell had he found out?

  She stared down at the floor.

  “Nothing to say now huh, Stephanie? Like I said, get the hell out of my room.”

  “Stop calling me that.”

  “Stephanie? Isn’t that your name?”

  “My name is ‘mom’ to you. Just like it’s always been. I understand that you’re angry and you have every right to be. Hell, I’m angry at myself. But Blaze I’d plan-”

  “Just stop. You planned on telling me when? When I turned fifty? Random boy at a party, huh? Makes sense why you hadn’t told me.”

  “It wasn’t like that.”

  “It was exactly like that. Did you know him before the party? No. You met him that night, screwed his brains out and ended up pregnant. That’s pretty random. Geesh. I’ve never even been that stupid, Stephanie.”

  This sure as hell wasn’t the way she’d played this conversation out in her mind.

  Blaze snapped the locks open on his AR-15 case and sat the gun inside. Then he pushed the case and the others back under the bed.

  “I’m tired,” he said pointing to his face. “And as you can see, I’ve had a rough day. So, when you get finished standing there trying to figure out how we got here, close the door behind yourself.”

  He’d made his point, but she was finished listening to him pretend to be holier than thou.

  “Blaze you’re not perfect you know. I’m doing the best I can. I’ve always done the best I could.”

  “Doing the best you can? And sure, turn it around on me. It’s always my fault, right? I guess you banging a stranger was my fault too – right?”

  She pointed to his face. “Who did this to you?”

  “Doesn’t matter. What’s done is done. And what will be done is done too.”

  “Dr. Smyrl called.”

  He shrugged. “I don’t care.”

  “She told me that you went to see her.” “I did. And?”

  “And well, what happened?”

  “I don’t doubt that she told you exactly what happened.”

  “She wants to recommend a new doctor. She said you scared her Blaze.”

  “I’m not getting a new doctor because I don’t need a doctor. I don’t need help. I don’t need to lay on someone’s couch and tell them how I feel. Not her – not anyone.”

  Steph crashed down to her knees in front of him. “Blaze you need help. You need to talk to someone. We need to figure this thing out.”

  His eyes widened. “No. No. Do you know what I need? Do you?” He yelled.

  “What Blaze? What do you need?”

  “I needed a mother, I needed to know my real dad was out there, I needed a girlfriend that was loyal to me, and I needed the kids kicking my ass every day to stop. Are you going to leave?” He stood up. “If you aren’t leaving then I am.” He walked over and picked up his car keys.

  She stood and put her hand on his chest. “No. I’ll go. I don’t want you to leave again. Get some rest and we’ll talk again in the morning. Okay?”

  Blaze tossed his keys back onto the table. “Whatever.”

  His cell phone buzzed. It was a text from Mark asking him to call.

  Blaze managed a small smile. Out of everything that was wrong, Mark and his friendship had always been right.

  Steph moved to the doorway. “I love you Blaze. From the first time I held you in my arms until right now. I may not have always made the right moves, but I have always loved you. We can fix this. If you’re still breathing, you can fix anything. Good night.”

  She stood there a second waiting for a response. But he just laid there. Finally, she walked out into the hallway and closed the door behind her.

  Then she slid down onto the floor outside his room and cried herself to sleep.

  Friday, Aug 30th

  Chapter 24

  Blaze It wasn’t even five a.m. and I was already wide awake. Every inch of my face hurt. I looked at it in the mirror and frowned. Damn. I’d really taken a beating. In a few hours it wouldn’t matter.

  Originally, I’d planned on ending everything next week. But I can’t take another week. Another week of lies, another week of rejection. Another week of being kicked around. Another week of arguing with Stephanie.

  My eyes watered and I wiped them. No time for that now.

  I walked over to the window and peeked out – it was still pitch-black outside.

  Why did people leave behind notes to their loved ones? I’d never thought about it before. But everyone needed to know why I did this. There would still be questions and at least this would answer a few.

  I took out a pen and note pad, uncertain on where to even start. How much should I say and how much should I let remain a mystery?

  Twenty minutes later I finished. I read it over twice then laid it neatly on my made bed.

  Bo
th of my 9mm handguns were on my dresser. I picked each of them up and stuffed them into my ammo bag. My hands were sweaty, I wiped them on my pants.

  Next, I got down onto my knees and reached under my bed to get my two AR-15 cases. I opened one of the cases and broke the weapon down stuffing it carefully into my bag. Then I did the same with the second.

  There’d been no metal detectorsat the gate the week before. And I’d seen others with backpacks being allowed into the game.

  I slid the empty cases back under the bed and walked towards my door. I stopped when I reached it and turned to take one last look back. Even though I’d decided this was it, there was nothing easy about what I was going to do. It was final. There was no second chance, no coming back from this.

  I took a deep breath.

  My phone buzzed. It was a text from Mark asking why I didn’t call. He’d sent it at midnight.

  I smiled but then frowned. Mark wasn’t going to take this well. I hated doing this to him. But no matter how hard he tries he can’t keep me from hurting. No one can help take the pain away.

  Mark would be one of the few that I missed. He understood me better than anyone. And he cared to listen when I wanted to talk. Maybe I should have told him more? Maybe I should have told him what I’d planned on doing? He would have done everything in his power to keep me from doing this. Deep down, that was exactly why I hadn’t told him.

  I closed the door to my room. After the argument last night Stephanie probably wouldn’t go back in until after it was done. I didn’t need to worry about her finding my letter too soon.

  There’d be no school for me today. They wouldn’t get another chance to make fun of me. To mock me. To tell me how stupid I am. No. Today was my day.

  I quietly disabled the alarm and snuck out of the house. The street was still. It was early so everyone was still probably fast asleep.

  The high school was only seven minutes from my house. I could get there in plenty of time to hide my bag in the storage area under the bleachers.

  I climbed into my car and thought about what I should do. If they tried to check my bag going into the stadium I’d be screwed. But taking the bag now was also a risk.

  What if someone was already at the school and somehow saw me? Which was the lesser risk?

  I decided I’d wear my backpack right through the front gate. If they attempted to check my bag I’d just turn and leave. I’d act like I’d left something in my car. They couldn’t stop me from leaving.

  I thought twice about Stephanie possibly going into my room and finding my letter before it was time. She was usually up by six thirty and to my room by six forty-five. If I didn’t respond she’d have to open my door. I typed up a text to send her, letting her know that I was already gone.