Jumping Feet First

by Melissa Stevens

  “You doing all right?” He tilted his head to one side and watched her reaction hoping she wasn’t on the edge of freaking out. It would be easy to give into the panic, he’d seen some that didn’t keep their cool as well as she seemed to be. Ally looked up and met his gaze with a calmness he’d not expected.

  “I’m okay. I could be better,” she let out a mirthless laugh, “but I’m okay.”

  “You sure?” Something about the way she’d laughed made him worry a little more, but she seemed to be holding it together. He only hoped she was this collected when the fire reached them. The last thing he wanted to have to do was to tie her down to keep her from running out of the barn and into the fire, and the barn was the only hope they had. He wished for a moment the old ranch had a cellar, but if it did, they’d probably already be there.

  “I’m sure.” Ally gave him a lop-sided smile. “What’s the point in freaking out? It won’t change anything. I might as well get something done while we wait.” She looked back down to where she was brushing the wool back and forth. “I take it you got the radio working? Did you reach anyone?”

  “Yeah, it’s working, but I can just barely hear anyone. It might get better, it might not. There’s no handset, so I can’t call out, but I can listen and follow progress that way. I noticed you were gone and wanted to check on you.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

  “You’re sure you’re all right?”

  “I’m sure.”

  James watched her a moment, unsure if she really was as all right as she claimed, but the radio squawked drawing his attention back to it. He was too far away to tell what they were saying. So with a glance back at her, he went back to the radio to see if he could learn anything.

  James glanced at his watch and realized he’d been sitting here, on the floor under the vent leaning against the wall, for over an hour. He’d not learned anything and his butt hurt from sitting on the bare wood floor. He stood and stretched, his back ached a little too. What was Ally up to? He looked out the window, worrying the fire had gotten closer, though from amount of smoke in the air, he’d guess either it was moving far slower than they’d anticipated, or the wind had changed again.

  He scanned the horizon, looking for signs of where the fire line was, but only found a few tufts of smoke. It was getting darker out though and soon they’d be relying on electricity for lights in the barn, as long as the electricity held. He hoped it held. James frowned, he didn’t recall having seen any powerlines headed in here. If they were buried instead of overhead lines the power might last longer. He went in search of Ally to find out.

  James found Ally right where he’d left her. As far as he could tell, she hadn’t moved, well, she hadn’t gotten up, she was still sitting there working the carding brushes just like she had been when he’d gone to the end of the loft.

  “Have you been here the whole time?” She looked up and met his gaze her hands never slowing and she kept up the motions that showed she’d had a lot of practice and didn’t need to watch what she was doing.

  “Yeah. It’s not been that long.”

  “Over an hour.”

  Her brows shot up and surprise was clear on her face. “Has it really? I thought the fire would be here by now, for sure.”

  “I kind of did too, but when I looked out a minute ago, it wasn’t significantly closer. I couldn’t make out much, something’s messing with the signal, but I think the wind might have changed again.” He went to the ladder and looked down the opening into near darkness below. “Think they’re okay?”

  “I’ve been listening to them.” An absent smile curved her lips, making him want to pull her close, comfort her, maybe even kiss her and finally find out if she tasted as good as he suspected. “They sound normal. Same noises I’ve heard every night.”

  He turned to look at her.

  “You’ve been sleeping out here?”

  “What good would all this do me if I’m sleeping in the house when the fire comes through? I’ve been turning the sprinklers on the roof on and sleeping in here every night since you were here last.”

  “Every night?”

  “Every night.”

  “No, I mean the sprinklers, they’ve been on all night every night?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “That means the wood’s good and wet. It’s less likely to catch if an ember lands on it. That was good thinking.”

  “I wasn’t thinking that far ahead. I just wanted them to be on incase the fire moved in overnight.”

  “Even if it wasn’t the plan, it will help. That’s what matters.”

  Her face turned pink and she turned her attention back to the pad of wool she was working. He couldn’t help but wonder why it was so hard for her to take a little praise. A familiar urge hit and he realized a flaw in staying in the barn. It wasn’t designed for human habitation. “Um. I know we barely know each other, but what have you been doing for a restroom?”

  She looked up at him, eyes wide for just a moment then she must have realized he asked because he needed to use it.

  “I have a five-gallon bucket, lined with several layers of plastic bags in the corner stall downstairs. It’s got a lid, but if it’s solid I pull the bag, twist it up and tie it. There’s another bag nearby those are stored in until morning.” She fell silent a moment, the spoke again. “Or until we can get out of here again.”

  “What if we run out of bags?”

  “There’s a whole roll on the edge of the stall.” She smiled, satisfied that she had a ready answer. “I didn’t know how long this might last, I did my best to be prepared. Besides. I set it up during lambing season after I had one ewe that had a rough delivery with twins. I was afraid I’d lose her and didn’t want to leave her, not even long enough to run up to the house. That was my first year here. It’s come in handy a couple times.”

  James couldn’t help but be impressed with her resourcefulness and determination to do whatever she needed to make her operation work. It was more than half the people he’d encountered were willing to do.

  “I’ll be right back then.” He braced himself on the ladder up right and took the first step down before stopping. “I was going to ask. I didn’t notice any overhead power lines. They don’t happen to be buried lines do they?”

  “Yeah, they’ve had too much trouble with trees growing into them and causing problems.” The crease between her brows let him know she didn’t understand why he wanted to know.

  “Power might last longer if they’re not overhead for flames to burn through.” He continued down the ladder.

  “Might, but I wouldn’t count on it. I lose power for days in the winter I don’t know where the issue is, but it’s a pain in the ass,” she called after him.

  James thought about what she’d said how she loses power in the winter for hours and what that might mean to them now. They could get by without power for a long time. Except that it would cut the water, but that had a generator, he’d seen it when he was out here last time.

  When James’ head cleared the loft floor again, Ally was still sitting in the rocker.

  “I know you’ve got a generator on the pump, but do you have any other back up power?” he asked as he stepped off the ladder into the loft.

  “I’ve got a second generator hooked up to the house, but not down here. Generally if I need electricity in here I run a cord from the pump house, but I rarely do. If I’m working on something that needs power, I can do it from the house.”

  “And it wouldn’t be a good idea to run a cord from the pump house now. It would give one more thing to get burned, and possibly cause issues with the generator. We don’t want to do that.”

  “That’s about where I was.” She rocked for a minute. “I’ve got a couple of propane lanterns over here and several flashlights scattered all over the place, just in case.”

  He wasn’t sure the propane would be a good idea if the fire got that close, but the flashlights weren’t a bad idea and he told her s
o. His fear with the lanterns wasn’t the heat, but if they were surrounded by fire, and the barn was soaked like it was now, then the fumes wouldn’t escape and would end up poisoning them.

  “It’s almost dark out, we’ll be able to see more glow from the fire, get a better idea of where it is. Want to come take a look with me?”

  “No thanks.”

  He stopped and turned back to her. “You sure?”

  “Yeah. Seeing those flames so close to my home once was enough for me. You can tell me what it’s doing. It’s not that I don’t want to know, but seeing it gave me a panic attack last time. I don’t need to do that again.”

  He watched her a moment to make sure she really was as all right as she claimed then went to the vent to take a look. The earie glow of a wildfire at night never ceased to send a shiver up his spine, no matter how long he worked them. He suspected when it did it would be time to find something else to do. Until then, he loved the work, the satisfaction when they saved a home or a town, not to mention the adrenaline. He’d never understood why people did drugs when you could get a high like that without them.

  Experience from several years fighting wildfires and seeing them at all times of the day, under different conditions and at different speeds told him this one wasn’t moving quickly, at least not now. That could change at any minute, but it didn’t look like it would come flaming down on them in the imminent future. He spent a few minutes toying with the radio again, trying to see if he could pick anything up, but still got nothing more than a few ghostly voices and a lot of static and crackling. It didn’t take long before he gave up. He wasn’t sure if it was the fire or the lack of a better antennae but he wasn’t going to get anything. Instead he went back to Ally. He sat on the floor, leaning back against one of several bags filled with wool. There was an open one nearby that she pulled from when she needed more to card. He watched her for a while without saying anything, just enjoying the peaceful look on her face as she methodically combed out the wool and got it ready for the next stage of processing.

  “It’s a little unnerving to be watched like this.” She didn’t bother to look up, nor did she slow at all in her rocking.

  He tilted his head to one side and watched her a moment longer. “Is there another way to do it?”

  Ally glanced up but her hands kept moving. “Maybe try something not so blatant? I don’t know. Don’t just stare though. Maybe talk to me too?”

  “About what?”

  “I don’t know, anything.” She watched him a moment, then her gaze dropped back to her hands. “Where are you from?”

  “Where did I grow up or where do I live now?” He wasn’t sure why she wanted to know, but he guessed talking, even about inane things was better than the silence.

  “Either.”

  “I grew up in a small town in Wyoming.”

  “What’s it called? Tell me something about it.”

  “Hawthorne. It’s a teeny little town, not even a single stop light. I couldn’t get away with anything.” He took a deep breath as he thought about the people back home. He hadn’t thought about them in a while, and now that he did, he actually missed them. That was something he’d never thought would happen.

  “I take it you don’t live there anymore?”

  James gave his head a slow shake. “I left as soon as I could. I live in Cheyenne now. It’s nothing like Hawthorne, at least not as far as everyone knowing my business and running home to tattle to my parents or anyone else that would listen.”

  “I didn’t have much of that.” A lopsided smile curved one side of her mouth. “My parents were more interested in their social lives than in me or what I did. Even if someone reported back to them, I never knew it.”

  “Are you from around here?”

  “I grew up in St. Louis. I spent half my teenage years haunting malls.”

  “How did you end up out here in the middle of nowhere, raising a bunch of animals and living like this?”

  She was quiet for the space of several breaths. James thought she wasn’t going to answer, which wasn’t fair, he’d answered her questions. Then she spoke.

  “I was about fifteen when one of my friends took me home for dinner. My parents were out of town again. I don’t even remember where.” She gazed off in the distance, a distant look on her face as she remembered the event. “Her mom was a knitter, after dinner we all sat around playing a game, her mom with her knitting, working when it wasn’t her turn. I was fascinated with it. How she could take sticks and string and make something. I ended up spending most of that summer at her house. Her mom taught me to knit, then to crochet. I loved every bit. Then one day I discovered spinning. Started out with a simple, make shift drip spindle, but I was hooked.”

  Wow. That was more than he’d expected. Especially after thinking she wasn’t going to answer.

  “How’d you get from knitting and spinning to all this.” He waved one hand, motioning not just to the loft, but meaning the whole thing, the farm, the animals, the wool, all of it.

  Ally shrugged one shoulder.

  “One thing led to another. My parents gave me almost anything I wanted to get me to leave them alone. After I got hooked on spinning, I was always asking for wool. I eventually started messing with dyes, making my own color combinations. When I turned seventeen, they gave me my own sheep.” She smiled and met his gaze for the first time since she’d started the story. “It was random and out of the blue, but to me it meant they cared enough to try to find something I’d like.” She looked away again. “It was all downhill from there. I took one look at that sheepy face and I was a goner.”

  James couldn’t help but grin. “You talk about it like it’s an addiction. Like you’re strung out and need your next fix.”

  “It kind of is. But at the same time it’s totally different. Instead of making me high or jittery it does the opposite. Put a little fiber in my hands and the tools to work it, any of the tools to work it and it doesn’t take me long to find my Zen.” She grinned at him. “You know there are studies that show knitting and crocheting lower your blood pressure and heart rate?”

  “I had no clue.” He didn’t really care. He was all about finding ways to live on the edge, at least now. But he could see she loved what she did as much as he did. Wasn’t that what really mattered?

  Ally continued brushing the wool, adding a few bits, and brushing more, while he watched. It struck him how odd it was for him to be content to sit here talking to her. To stay in one place this long, at least when he wasn’t sleeping or doing something like fiddling with the radio. This was different though. He didn’t have his usual need to get up, to do something, anything. His usual need to make his heart rate speed to find something new and dangerous to do, to challenge Mother Nature and see who came out on top this time. With Ally, he was content to sit and answer her questions, even ask a few of his own and listen to her tell him about herself.

  They talked a while longer, getting to know each other and debating the pros and cons of living in a town the size of Garrett, until she yawned.

  Ally covered her mouth then turned pink, as if she was embarrassed the yawn had snuck up on her. That’s when he checked his watch. It was nearly eleven. Way later than he’d realized.

  “I had no clue,” Ally said when he told her what time it was. She set aside her wool and stood, stretching her shoulders once she’d made it to her feet. “I guess we should try to get some sleep.” She looked around while James made it to his feet and stretched. Sitting on the floor like that left him stiff. “I’ll let you have the cot and find somewhere else to sleep.”

  “I don’t think so. I can’t take your bed away. I can make do with just a blanket. I can roll up on the floor. I’ve slept in worse places.” He took a deep breath. “I want to take another look at the fire then I’ll come make my bed over there, on the other side of the ladder.” He waved one hand in the vague direction of the opening down to the first floor. He slipped past the small wall she’d built w
ith the burlap bags of wool.

  The red-orange glow from the fire didn’t seem to have moved significantly, but it was hard to tell at night when all the landmarks were missing. He watched it for a moment, but couldn’t discern any momentum to the eerie glow so he went back to where Ally waited.

  “How’s it look?”

  “I can’t tell that it’s moved at all since the last time I checked, but it’s hard to be sure at night.” He frowned at where she’d laid a pair of the burlap bags down side by side and was currently rocking back and forth on her hands and knees. It looked more than a little strange and he had a couple things pop into his head that he knew better than to say out loud.

  “I’m trying to get them to flatten out a little. Then I’ll toss a comforter on top and give you another. It will be more comfortable than the floor.”

  A warm sensation washed through him that she’d go to so much trouble to make him comfortable, especially after he’d told her he could sleep on the floor. He’d meant it too. At least the floor was flat and smooth, he’d napped on rocky outcroppings or wedged against a tree when they were in a safe area and he’d needed to catch a little rest. The floor would be far better than either of those.

  “I would have been okay on the floor.”

  “I couldn’t handle that. I couldn’t sleep on the cot and not at least try to make you a little more comfortable.”

  James gave the pair of lumpy bags a critical look and wondered if they would be any more comfortable than the floor. He wasn’t as sure as she seemed to be, but he’d give it a try, if only to keep from disappointing her. He didn’t know why he didn’t want to disappoint her, but there it was.

  “Sounds good.” He helped her finish putting his bed together then glanced around a minute, wondering what he should do or say. “You want to go use the bathroom first? Then you can change while I’m down there?”

  “Sounds good.” She shot him a grateful smile, as if she’d been trying to figure out how to bring it up. She took a flashlight and shoved it in her pocket before disappearing down the ladder. There were lights down there, he knew, but maybe she didn’t want to disturb the animals? He didn’t think they’d care that much, but it wasn’t up to him.