Men Are Frogs

by Saranna Dewylde

  He laughed. “My love, as much as I’d love to take you up on that, you know that you don’t want to give up the wedding business. Not for that long. Not for a second.”

  She grinned. “You’re right. I love it.”

  “You made me love it, too.”

  “I made you?”

  “Yeah. Seeing the joy it brought you, the joy you brought to other people, and these couples who are choosing us to make their dreams come true? I can’t think of anything better.”

  “Stop being so perfect. It’s honestly ridiculous.” She floated off, away from him.

  He swam forward to follow her. “I’m not perfect, I’m perfect for you.”

  “That’s what my sister said.”

  “That I’m perfect for you? Of course.” He shrugged and smirked.

  “Ha. She did say she thought my future was with you when we saw your picture on the Ever After website, but no. She told me no one was perfect but that I would meet someone perfect for me. That our angels and our demons would play well together. I wouldn’t have thought that. Our angels, maybe. But not our demons.”

  “Zeva is pretty wise. She’s going to make a fantastic fairy godmother. Although, I will say I’m glad our futures are set. We won’t require any meddling.”

  “Set? You think?” She arched a brow and splashed him.

  He dove for her and caught her, careful not to get her hair wet. “Don’t worry. I know how mad you would be if I got your hair wet.”

  She laughed. “The castle oils and straightens my hair every morning while I sleep.”

  “Oh really?” He considered whether or not to dunk her, even as she clung to him, laughing.

  “No, no. None of that. Tell me more about how our futures are set.”

  “If you don’t think they’re set, maybe I should keep that to myself.”

  “Tell me. What do you see?”

  “Really?”

  “Really.”

  “You might be disappointed.”

  “I might. But tell me anyway.”

  “It’s not what you would call spectacular.”

  “No?” She was still laughing. “Tell me more, Prince Average.”

  He moved through the water with her. “It is average, and pretty wonderful. You. Me. Doing the same things we have been doing. Except my days belong to you, too. Running the B and B. Lots and lots of wedding planning. Maybe a couple of kids who look like their mama running around the castle. What do you think?”

  “I think yes. All the yes. Yes, forever.”

  The castles in the clouds, the fairy tale, it was all solid and real. “You know, forever is something we can actually have in Ever After, so be sure you mean it.”

  “I mean it.”

  They made love again. He’d never used that phrase before, but it was the only thing that could describe what happened between them. The physical joining of their bodies was animal and primal, but it was transcendent, too.

  Phillip couldn’t believe that this was his life. This was his partner.

  It was somehow too good to be true.

  He tried to push that thought out of his head and be present only in the moment with Zuri. These were the memories that would build their life together. The foundation. Years from now, he could see bringing her down here to re-create the moment when they confessed their love for each other.

  Phillip didn’t want to remember feeling any doubt, or any fear.

  Just the perfect trust that this woman who’d become his everything was his future.

  Phillip supposed this was how the rest of the world did it, a person just had to trust and take that leap.

  “What?” she asked him, obviously knowing something was on his mind.

  “I just realized that being cursed was a gift.”

  “How so? I mean, aside from ensuring you always had your daily protein,” she teased.

  “Out in the rest of the world, you don’t have any safety nets. You just have to jump. With my curse, all it took was a kiss. Other people have to invest years of their lives, their hearts, the tender parts of themselves they build walls to keep safe. Sometimes that other person catches them, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes, they catch them for a little while and still let them fall.”

  “You’re leaping, aren’t you?”

  “Phrasing.” He eyed her. “I’ve been a frog for three hundred years. I’ve been leaping every day of my life.”

  She laughed. “Hey, I’m funny.”

  “Not even a little,” he said, but he smiled anyway. “Not that I want to bring another man into our bed . . .”

  Zuri snorted. “Yes, I talked to Alec. He said he understands. I told him if he didn’t stop that I’d have to pull out of Anna and Jordan’s wedding.”

  “Hardball. I like it. Of course, he probably said something to the effect of you would be that selfish or whatever to try and guilt you.”

  “He did. But I told him if he continued to harass me after I’d told him what I’d do, that he was the selfish one. We actually had a decent breakfast after I got him to accept our time together had the life span of a housefly.”

  “Good. Because I’ve had to tell the castle to ignore my feelings about that guy until after the wedding.”

  “To the dungeons with him?”

  “And ruin our sanctuary here? Not a chance.”

  She laughed. “I still don’t understand how someone like him could be such good friends with Jordan.”

  “I don’t know. Not to root for the guy or anything, because I would never, but there were people, good people, who stood by me until I figured out I was a selfish asshole and got my shit together.”

  “I think that would be easier. You were already being punished. If someone turned Alec into a frog, I might be more inclined to listen to him.”

  “Then we should keep the FGs away from him. But now that I know he isn’t a problem for you, I’m happy to forget about him.”

  “Hmm,” Zuri teased. “Maybe you should make me forget about him . . . ?”

  “Haven’t you already?” He quirked a brow.

  “Maybe I have, maybe I haven’t. You should make sure.”

  “Woman, I’ll make you forget your own name.”

  “Bring it on, Prince Charming.”

  And he did.

  His single focus was her pleasure. He was determined that she wouldn’t know whether to beg him to stop or beg him for more. Phillip wanted to drive her beyond reason, until she was a mass of raw nerve endings that radiated only bliss. He used everything he’d learned in his long life coupled with the love he had for her, and used it all for her glory.

  When they were both spent beyond exhaustion, he held her close with a supremely male satisfaction.

  “Let’s go to your rooms and sleep,” she murmured.

  “Let’s go to our rooms and sleep,” he said.

  “I love the sound of that.” Although, she didn’t move. “You wrecked me. You should carry me.”

  “It would be a pleasure to carry you.”

  Except when he moved to stand, he felt the familiar pull. The tightness of his skin and the heat in his limbs.

  “Zuri?” he began, panicked.

  “What’s wrong? I . . . No, Phillip. No!” she cried. “I do love you. I don’t understand. Phillip?”

  He fled from the scene as the transformation took from him his hopes and his dreams and made a mockery of their love.

  Chapter 19

  Dawn was a bitch.

  There was no other word for it. She was a home-wrecking, heartbreaking bitch of the highest order.

  Or was that the lowest order?

  Regardless, it was the absolute worst.

  She didn’t understand what had gone wrong. She loved Phillip. From the soles of her feet, to the crown of her head, and from the depths of her bones, she loved that man.

  Why wasn’t it enough?

  Why wasn’t she enough?

  It was hard to get those thoughts out of her head. Hard to think tha
t she wasn’t the problem, but she knew her own feelings more than any stupid curse. What gave the magic the right to decide if it was true love?

  She decided she was going to call Zeva, have a good cry, and then throw herself into her work. She’d made a commitment, and she had a job to do. Back in Chicago, she’d let herself be defined by her relationship.

  Zuri refused to do that again.

  She loved him. Her heart had splintered in half. But she wasn’t going to fall apart.

  As her nose tingled and tears gathered in her eyes, she sniffed. “Yeah, maybe you’re going to fall apart a little bit.”

  Except Zuri knew she was more than this. She knew her love mattered. Phillip had made her see that.

  She was determined not to give up.

  Although, as soon as she had the thought, it occurred to her that when one gave the universe ultimatums, one was invariably tested.

  Zuri didn’t want to be tested anymore.

  Why did she constantly have to prove herself over and over? When was it her turn to be happy?

  When she got back to her room, she texted Zeva to see if she was awake.

  You up?

  Yeah. Getting my place packed up. What’s up?

  He’s still a frog. I kissed him. And he’s still a frog.

  Her phone rang, and she answered it with a swipe.

  “What do you mean? Didn’t you get frog pox last time you kissed him?”

  Leave it to Zeva to make her laugh when all she wanted to do was cry. “Yes, but the cure was another kiss.”

  “I know that. I was there, remember?”

  “Yeah, well I talked to Alec and let him have his say. We had breakfast yesterday, and when I was talking to him, I realized that I’m in love with Phillip.”

  “Of course you are. Why is this a problem?”

  “It’s a problem because I told him. He said he loves me. We spent the night together.” Zuri’s whole body twinged with the aftereffects of such use. “Oh, boy did we ever.”

  Zeva giggled. “So what’s the problem again?”

  “He still turned into a frog. I should’ve broken his curse. I love him. He said he loves me. We planned our future together last night, Zeva. And this morning, he was a fucking frog.”

  “Okay, so his curse wasn’t broken. Whatever. I thought you didn’t mind his frog time?”

  “Honestly, I don’t. I mean, it’s inconvenient, but if that’s all it was, I could deal. Like you said, no one’s perfect. But if he doesn’t break his curse, it’s going to be permanent. The frog part. Forever.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “He just found out from Fairy Godmother Academy. I love him so much it hurts, Zeva. I know my love is true.”

  “No one doubts your love is true.”

  “Don’t you think he does? That’s supposed to be the key to ending his curse. But it didn’t. So how can he not doubt me?”

  “This is bullshit,” Zeva said in an even voice. “And I’m not going to tolerate it.”

  “That’s what I said, but it doesn’t seem there’s much I can do about it.”

  “I’m going to load the rest of my stuff into storage today, and I will be on my way to Ever After. I’m going to have a Come to Zeva moment with the godmothers. How dare they.”

  “How is this the godmothers’ fault?”

  “They let you have hope. They let him have hope. They mashed you two together like potatoes and butter and then left you with your butts in the wind. I won’t have it.”

  Zuri laughed again. “This FG thing is really getting in your head. Just last week you would’ve said asses.”

  “I’m furious enough to say it.”

  “Also, who is the potato?”

  “You know exactly what I mean, Zuri. This isn’t fair. And the thing about fairy tales is that they’re always, eventually, fair.”

  “Eventually?” Zuri sighed. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “You take care of you, and—”

  “Not about me, wombmate. I’m struggling, and my heart hurts, and I’m afraid. That’s all true, but I don’t know what to do for him. For Phillip.”

  “I’m going to figure it out, okay? I’ll be there soon.”

  “It’s dumb that you’re always riding to my rescue. I should figure this out myself.”

  “No, you shouldn’t. This is what your family and friends are for. We all have to save ourselves, but we do it with our loved ones holding our hands. We’ll figure this out. I promise.”

  Zuri was reminded she’d said almost those exact same words to Phillip.

  “When it’s your turn, Zeva . . .”

  “I know you’ll be there. That’s what sisters are for.”

  Zuri took a deep breath. Just hearing her sister’s voice fortified her and reminded her that she could do anything she set her mind to.

  “Don’t ruin your chances at the academy for this. I’ll figure it out. I just needed to hear your voice.”

  “Zuri. If looking out for my sister, or demanding that people live up to their word will endanger my chances at FGA, I don’t want to go because it’s not the kind of place I thought it was. Get some rest, and I’ll see you soon.”

  Zuri knew everything would look better after she’d grabbed a couple of hours of sleep. So she decided to take her sister’s advice. “Okay. Let me know when you get here.”

  “I will. If you have time, do you think you could have Gwen make me some scones? The cherry ones? The more FGing I do, the more sugar I need.”

  “I’m on it.”

  They hung up, and Zuri lay down on her couch. She didn’t want to lie in the bed, because she knew all she’d be able to do was think about Phillip and the kiss that cured her frog pox.

  He’d been her cure, so she couldn’t help but wonder again why she wasn’t his.

  Of course, he’d been the root of her illness, too.

  God, that kiss had been a fantasy come to life. She touched her fingers to her lips, remembering.

  Last night had not been a fantasy come to life, not at all, because she’d never dared to dream she’d have such chemistry, such fire with another person. She thought it was the kind of thing that didn’t actually happen to people.

  Yet, it had. It happened to them.

  Zuri knew what was coming.

  She knew that if he wanted to stay human, he’d have to marry the Evil Queen.

  That was his only option.

  She wouldn’t and couldn’t begrudge him that. Zuri meant what she’d said. She understood. It would grind every piece of her heart to a fine dust, but she understood.

  There had to be another way.

  There just had to be.

  When she drifted off to sleep, she was haunted by nightmares of planning Phillip’s wedding to someone else.

  After she awoke, sobbing, she dried her tears. Phillip would never do that to her. He wasn’t Alec. It was simply an anxiety nightmare, and if she did say so herself, she had in fact planned a beautiful wedding at the black castle.

  Lots of candles, purple rose petals, and she and Rosebud had designed a beautiful tiara made of thorny black ivy. Zuri was confident she could plan a wedding to any bride’s taste. Even an Evil Queen.

  Checking her phone, she realized she had exactly twenty minutes to get down to the Once Upon a Time Ballroom to go over the torchier placement with Hansel. She understood why the castle was only allowed to help as directed in the guest wing of the castle. It made a bit more work for them, but no one needed normies wishing for their groom to be dressed in shining armor and to have the poor bastard suddenly bedecked in seventeenth-century jousting garb. With no practice moving in the stuff, that was surely a recipe for disaster.

  Zuri realized she no longer thought of herself as a normie. Ever After had so quickly become her home.

  The castle seemed to agree, because suddenly, she felt fresh as a daisy and realized her hair was completely perfect.

  And she was dressed in a pair of houndstooth slacks, a so
ft red cashmere sweater, and red heels so comfortable she felt as if she were walking on air.

  “Good looking out, Castle. Thanks.”

  Her usual blond mocha appeared on her counter as well, and she’d never been more grateful.

  She took a sip and let the warmth wrap her in familiar comfort.

  “Got anything for the bags under my eyes, my friend?”

  A mirror appeared, floating in front of her, with the words Mirror, mirror printed on the silver surface.

  She peeked over and looked at her reflection. The mirror shimmied.

  “Mirror, mirror?” she tried.

  It didn’t do anything, so she tried another tack.

  “Mirror, mirror, in the air, get these bags out of here? Or something? Please?”

  She watched as the bags under her eyes disappeared and a strange force moved her mouth into a smile. It would’ve been creepy as hell if not for the inviting vibe she was getting from the castle.

  The castle wanted her to be happy.

  So she smiled for real, and the mirror disappeared.

  “I don’t know what I did before you, Castle. Thank you.”

  She shot off a quick text to Gwen at Grammy’s Goodies to order that batch of scones for Zeva before setting off to conquer her day.

  She was armed with coffee, confidence, and hella great style when she went down to the Once Upon a Time Ballroom and found Hansel waiting for her.

  “I hope you haven’t been here long!” she said as she made her way over to him.

  “Not at all. I was talking with the groom outside. It looks like we’re going to pull this off after all. Not that I doubted the godmothers, but you know how it goes. It seemed impossible when we started, but this stage is almost ready, and the torchiers are the last thing we have to do.”

  “I know, it’s incredible. You’ve done such an amazing job,” she praised.

  “It was my pleasure. I just started a long-term project helping Ravenna restore Castle Blackheart, and it’s going to be a challenge. It’s nice to have bite-size projects and get that immediate feedback from concept to realization.”

  She nodded in understanding. “I think it takes a special kind of person to be able to interpret someone else’s ideas and incorporate them into your own thinking and then bring them to life.”

  “Yeah. You know exactly what I mean.” He grinned. “So I had an idea for the torchiers. What would you think about a chandelier-style over here to symbolize the moon? Then we could re-create the streetlights, but keep the fairy-tale theme.” He pointed to various places on the stage.