Big Girl Pill

by K D Williamson

  T laughed. “You got that right.” He glanced down at his phone. “Besides, the car will be here in three minutes. I got us a nice big comfy one like before.”

  “You’re gonna need to alter the destination when we get in. I moved us to the Radisson Blu Aqua.”

  “Why?” Maya asked.

  “I want us to have a good time because it’ll probably be another five years before I can take a vacation.”

  She adjusted the bag on her shoulder. “It’s a weekend. That’s not even vacation adjacent.”

  “For real,” T said.

  “I was just kidding. I really am going to try to be around more often. You’re not kids anymore, but we’re family. Not gonna lie. I feel guilty as hell sometimes because I know Daddy’s watching.”

  “Mama is, too,” Maya reminded him. “She was the one who ran things, anyway. She could be scary as fuck sometimes.”

  T laughed. “Yeah, to you, since you were the bad twin.” Maya pushed T and he bumped into Winston, who was laughing, too. She winced for a second as the motion jostled her burned hand but the pain was fleeting.

  The Uber turned out to be a roomy Lincoln. The driver smiled as he popped the trunk and put their luggage inside. “Ever been to Chi-town before?” he asked.

  “Nope,” Maya said.

  “Well, if you stay on the main drag, you’re in for a treat.”

  “Great.” Chicago was known for a lot more these days than the Cubs and pizza. She waited for him and T to load their luggage, and got into the back seat last.

  “I’ve got a few hours before the appointment at Ironhead Galaxy,” T said. “We can check in and then get something to eat after at one of those places Chloe came up with. Even though I wasn’t able to get anything going with Never Realm, I still want to go look around, if possible.”

  The whole time he talked, his knee bounced up and down. She patted him on the thigh. “The hard part was over when you left the house and got on the plane. You did that like it was cake.”

  T exhaled noisily. “Yeah, you’re right.” “Everything okay?” Winston eyed them both.

  “Yeah, it’s just weird being away from home,” T said.

  “I bet. You’ve never really been anywhere. You’re the shit for stepping outside your comfort zone. Most people can’t or won’t do that,” Winston said.

  Maya gave them both a thumbs-up, then watched out the window. She liked when they could all be together like this, looking out for each other. As they drove into downtown, she noted the people everywhere, and how clean the streets seemed. Maybe that was because this city was new to her. She looked at the buildings jutting up into the sky. Everything was so big, so tall. Every couple of blocks had a little something different to see with new colors and textures. Some of the buildings looked old and lived in, especially the restaurants, while others had a polish to them. The streets narrowed at times, making it feel like the buildings were closing in. She was a little intimidated, and could only imagine how T felt.

  T nudged her. “Welfare check.”

  “Huh?”

  “You disappeared there for a while.”

  “I’m fine. This trip is about you.”

  “That doesn’t keep you from thinking about Nina.”

  “True, but that doesn’t mean I need to drop her name every five minutes, either.” She didn’t want to talk about this. Not right now. Not today.

  “Yeah, holding shit in works really well, especially for the three of us.”

  “You don’t think giving me relationship advice is out of your lane?”

  “That’s not what this is.” T squeezed her thigh.

  “What is it, then?”

  “It’s me knowing you.”

  “Wait. Isn’t Nina getting married?” Winston asked.

  “No,” both T and Maya said together.

  “Damn. What’s going on? Daddy would beat my ass and tell me to get my shit together for not knowing more about what’s going on with you two.”

  “Daddy wouldn’t have cursed.” Maya smiled. “If we were alone, he would have.”

  They all laughed and Maya started to change the subject but T beat her to it.

  “I already asked Maya this, but I want to hear what you have to say, too,” he said.

  “What?” Winston asked.

  “Do you think Mama and Daddy would’ve been proud of me? You know, feel like I was worth something?”

  Winston smiled. “They’d be proud as fuck. I have to admit I thought for a long time that this video game thing was a dead end, but you’re not giving up. I know it means a lot to you, so I’m in and I’m proud of you, too.”

  T’s grin was big enough to fill the back seat. Winston put his hand on the side of T’s head and gave him a gentle shove, which made them all laugh.

  “So, what’s going on with you and Nina?” Winston asked.

  “Yeah,” T said. “What?”

  Did they really have to gang up on her? “I’m all talked out about it, and right now, I’m just taking some time and space to figure things out.”

  “She probably should’ve told Nina she was taking some space.” T’s tone dripped with sarcasm.

  “Really?” Maya shot back. “I thought you weren’t sure about her anymore. All it took was a couple drinks?”

  “I’ve warmed up to her but you know that’s not the point.”

  “I don’t know everything that happened but disappearing without telling her sounds like a shitty thing to do. Kinda cowardly, too,” Winston said, tone dry.

  “Boom! That was a big-ass truth bomb.” T leaned back. “It just got real up in here.”

  Maya clenched her teeth together. Neither one of them had room to talk about her. She’d keep it really real. “I’m scared. Okay?” Instead of firing back, Maya’s heart took over and spoke for her. “I know I’m being a dick.”

  Everyone in the back seat went quiet. Maya chose that moment to remember that they were in an Uber and a stranger was listening to their whole conversation. She glanced at the rearview mirror.

  The driver looked back at her and smiled. “Don’t sweat it,” he said. “Pretend I’m not even here.”

  It was probably way too late for that. The silence continued for a few minutes. Maya’s whole body was tense enough that something would have broken off if she moved the wrong way.

  “What are you guys gonna do while I’m at Ironhead?” T asked, and Maya silently thanked him.

  “Spend Winston’s money,” she said.

  He leaned forward and looked at her playfully. “Oh, is that right?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Okay, then.” His expression shifted to guarded. “Looks like Winston’s got something to say, too,”

  Maya prodded. “Yeah, it does. So, what is it, bro?”

  “Um.” Winston wiped his forehead but didn’t say anything else.

  “Okay, what’s happening here? Why do you look so nervous?” T asked.

  “Yeah, what’s up?”

  “I’m not nervous. I’ve just never done this before, but since we’re all together, I should probably tell you that I’m gonna ask Chloe to move in soon.”

  Maya and T shared a glance. “Aww,” they said at the same time.

  “Shut the fuck up.”

  The driver laughed.

  “Well, if anybody can keep you in line, it’s her,” Maya said.

  “Seconded.” T reached over and fist-bumped her.

  “Shut up, both of you,” Winston said, but he was laughing and before they could talk any more about it, they pulled up in front of their hotel and the driver helped them unload.

  “Dinner at Peri Peri later,” Winston said. “Go freshen up.”

  “Yeah, yeah. See you in a bit.” She went to her room and a few hours later, she stood at the counter in Nando’s Peri Peri and looked up at the menu. She was impressed with the number of different hot sauces they had at the condiment bar. The restaurant’s motif was full of bright colors that included red, yellow, gr
een, and blue. The art on the walls went from tribal to abstract.

  “T texted you what he wanted?”

  “Yes.” Maya refused to look at Winston. The more she thought about what he said, the more pissy she got. Too bad there were fifty billion people in line ahead of them.

  “So, you gonna be mad at me the rest of the trip?”

  “I’m not mad. And why would you wanna talk about this here instead of at the hotel earlier?”

  He shrugged. “I was giving you space.”

  She wondered if she’d be arrested for punching him in the face. She decided not to do that and instead contemplated her order. She was getting the same thing T wanted—The Thigh and Mighty Sandwich—but she wanted hers extra spicy.

  Fifteen minutes passed before they ordered and sat down at a table to wait for the food. “I’d rather you just say you’re mad than ignore me,” he said.

  “I’m sure you would,” Maya mumbled.

  “What?”

  “I said that I’m not mad.”

  “Bullshit.” Winston sang the word in falsetto like the jackass he was.

  Maya looked away because she didn’t want him to see her laughing. She would not let him defuse the situation. She wouldn’t. “Fine,” she said, relenting. “I’m mad at you and I’m pissed at myself.”

  “Okay. Tell me more.”

  “I don’t want to. I’m glad, though, that the Ironhead meeting went well for T. I don’t blame him for being a little upset that Nether-whatsit wouldn’t even let him in the door, but since everything’s all good with the other place, it probably doesn’t even matter at this point.”

  “Yeah, I’m glad, too.” Winston paused. “I’m calling you out on your shit, just so you know. T told me everything before he left.”

  She groaned. “That wasn’t his place to do that.”

  He shrugged. “You weren’t talking to me. I asked. He spilled.”

  “We’re really gonna do this here?” Was she whining?

  She hoped not.

  “Yep. You’ve been dishing out all this advice and haven’t taken any of it yourself. Since you pretty much told me to get my head outta my ass, I’m telling you the same. Sounds like you have a chance to grow some roots, if you ask me.”

  “I didn’t and don’t start with that root thing. For the record, my head isn’t anywhere near my ass. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Winston’s expression was soft and sincere, and she immediately regretted everything she’d just said.

  “Maybe not, but still, Maya, come on.”

  Her phone vibrated. She looked at it in case it was T, but Nina’s name flashed instead. She rejected the call before shoving the phone into her pocket. Even though she was being an ass, she missed Nina and had greedily listened to her messages and read her texts. This new one would be no different than the others. So why couldn’t she talk to her? Why was some part of her still trying to fight this? Pussy! The voice in her head roared.

  Winston sighed. “I saw who—”

  T appeared and sat down beside Maya, clearly in a good mood until he saw Maya.

  “Why does she look like that?” he asked Winston.

  “She’s mad at me.”

  “For the coward thing?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  She ignored them both.

  “Yeah, but he’s kinda right,” T said. “You should at least talk to her. Don’t pass up this chance. It’s like everything’s been laid out for you.”

  She hated that they were both right. “If I tell you I’ll call her, will you drop all this?”

  “Yes, as long as you’re not just trying to blow smoke up my ass,” Winston said.

  “I’m not. I promise.”

  “Good. Now we can focus on me.” T grinned.

  Maya laughed. “I’ve been trying to do that all along.”

  “Okay. Time to shut up now. I really like Ironhead. They’re laid back but on the ball at the same time. They’re not open to another cycle of paid interns until a couple months from now and if I apply, it would be four to six weeks before I heard anything. The money is shitty, though, and I really don’t know about living in Chicago.”

  “If you decided to go for it, I’ll help out financially,” Winston said.

  T brightened. “Thanks, if I get in, you won’t be helping for long. I don’t think I’d be okay with that, but the money isn’t what’s bothering me.” He was no longer smiling.

  “Everything is so big,” Maya said.

  “Yeah, exactly. I’d have to visit a few more times and try to get a feel for the city if I do this.”

  “I’ll come with you when I can. We can go check out some of the other companies, too. Maybe Tennessee, Florida or even Georgia.”

  “Sounds good but we’re here until Sunday. What are we gonna do?” T asked.

  “Chloe made a list, remember?” Winston reached in his pocket to pull out his phone.

  “Aww,” Maya started and T joined in. Winston shot them the finger.

  **

  Nina hefted her bag over her shoulder and walked slowly through the school parking lot. She had stayed later than usual to speak with a parent and now she had some downtime, so she powered on her phone, just in case Maya had tried to return her call. The number of notifications that came through from her mother should have made her phone explode, but there was still nothing from Maya. Nina was several steps past exasperated.

  Modern technology wasn’t helping her with Maya, and she had decided an hour ago that she was going to do things the old-fashioned way, face to face. She was angry, hurt, and exhausted, and it wasn’t fair of Maya to leave her hanging like this.

  Rachel, meanwhile, had risen to the ranks of sainthood for putting up with her and for keeping Sarah away the past couple days. Her cell vibrated as another text came through. Speak of the devil. Another from Sarah. She groaned and shoved the phone back into her pocket. And then she stopped, because her mother’s car was parked in the space beside hers. Nina’s heart sank. Apparently, her mom had come to a similar conclusion about talking face to face.

  “Damn it,” she whispered, and she was close enough now to feel her mother’s glare. Even though there were only a few people around, this was a public place, fortunately. No way Sarah Sterling was going to make a scene, though for a moment, Nina considered making one.

  As Sarah got out of the car, Nina started walking again, but it didn’t do much good because Sarah stomped toward her, projecting outrage and fury. She scowled and pressed her lips together so tightly that they almost disappeared. And, as usual, despite all that, she didn’t have a hair out of place and was dressed impeccably.

  “You—You—” Sarah shook a finger at Nina. She pulled back suddenly and looked around, a shrewd expression in her eyes and Nina knew she was assessing potential audiences for any public displays. “You have obviously lost your mind.” Her tone went from harsh to conversational. It was kind of spooky.

  She wasn’t in the mood for this, but clearly, her mother was forcing the issue. “What do you mean?”

  She plastered a smile onto her face. “Don’t sass me. You know very well what I’m talking about,” she said through gritted teeth. “And what kind of daughter ignores her mother?”

  In her case? A smart one. The words were right on the tip of Nina’s tongue but she didn’t say them. “I’m not doing this with you right now, Mom. I won’t be ambushed in a parking lot. You can’t force me to talk to you. I’ll do that when I’m ready.” She was shocked by her own words, at the energy and certainty behind them. They were different than what she had in mind. They were stronger, firmer.

  Sarah’s eyes widened in disbelief. “What did you just say to me?”

  Instead of answering, she used the momentum she’d gained with her previous words and walked around her. As quickly as she could, she unlocked her car door and got in. She stared at Sarah through the windshield, slid her key into the ignition, and put her car in reverse then drove out of the parking
lot. Her mother remained standing where she’d left her, but she got smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror.

  By the time Nina merged onto the interstate, her hands were still shaking. She had stood up to her mother. It wasn’t much, but it was a beginning and she couldn’t wait to share it with Maya, no matter how weird she was being. Two days with no contact had been long enough. In the past few weeks, they’d been feasting on each other, and she didn’t like this famine. There was no way Maya could freeze her out if they were face to face.

  She pulled up behind Maya’s SUV at her house and this time, didn’t give herself time to think it over. She got out of her car and went to the front door where she rang the bell and smoothed a hand over her hair. Seconds passed, and Nina didn’t hear footsteps from inside. She hit the bell again after another minute or so but got the same result.

  There were only two vehicles in the driveway. Maybe Maya and Terrance went somewhere with Winston? So instead of leaving, she decided to wait. She got back into her car and turned on the radio. She glanced at the dashboard. It was after five. She’d give Maya thirty minutes before she went home.

  Time dragged. It felt like she’d been sitting for an hour but it had been only fifteen minutes. Her brain burst with a million scenarios regarding Maya and all of them had horrible outcomes filled with Maya’s rejection. She changed the radio station from alternative to more upbeat pop music, but kept thinking. She knew Maya. She was hurt and probably scared, but she’d listen once she understood that Nina was coming from a place of possibility instead of a world of no way. It had taken her a day or so to come to that conclusion, but she was there now. Thirty minutes came and went and she drummed her fingers on the steering wheel, disheartened. Tomorrow was Saturday and she’d try again. As Nina started her car, another vehicle pulled into the driveway beside her. She didn’t recognize it or the woman driving. Nina waited and the other woman got out and walked toward her. Nina opened her window.

  “Can I help you?”

  “Yes, I was looking for Maya?”

  “She’s not here.”

  “I see that.” Nina couldn’t stop the annoyance coloring her tone. “Do you know—”