She startled, blinking. “I cannot let you do that, Majesty. You’re a prince not a servant.”
But she’d been okay with me—Adahm—helping her sew on pearls? I tried not to let the jealousy overcome me, but it was burning hot in my chest. I loosed a breath, and with it, that sensation. Maudey changed me. Something about her did things to my insides.
“I can assure you, I won’t break.” I started to roll one sleeve up, slowly flipping the hem over and over again, all the way up my forearm. She watched the movements, stared at my arms, at the tips of my fingers, and then her tongue darted out to lick her lower lip.
She looked up at me, and flushed. How cute. My arm skin had made her flush. “Majesty, it isn’t proper…”
I chuckled as I finished the second sleeve and dunked my hands into the water, as if to prove a point. Propriety mattered little to me right now. All that mattered was her. I wanted to see her smile again, I wanted to get to know her. I wanted her to get to know me. A part of me even wished that maybe she’d come to the realization that I’d been the one with her that night, staying up by the flames of candles to fix a mess someone else had started.
I grabbed a rag and brought it out, sloshing water onto the floor and began to scrub. Suds started to form, browning by the dirt on the floor. I scrubbed all around, as she just froze and stared at me in shock. Finally, she shook her head back and forth and frowned.
“You’re doing it wrong,” she judged.
I stopped. “I am?” I hadn’t realized there was a secret way to clean.
She nodded and scooted closer to me. Shock rippled through me when she placed her hand over my own. Her palm was worn and rough, but I welcomed her touch just the same. “You have to go in slow circles, like this.” She began moving my hand in demonstration. Scrub. Scrub. Scrub. I let myself be guided by her, my heartbeat sounding loudly in my ears.
I watched her from beneath my lashes. She was so small, nearly delicate. But I knew that beneath that plump figure, there was fire, there was ice. And they clashed together to form an explosion that was purely Maudey.
“Majesty?”
Shit. I hadn’t realized that she’d moved her hand away. That I was frozen and staring at her like a fool. I started scrubbing like she’d showed me. “Like this?”
Her lip twitched up into a smile. “Yes, Majesty, exactly like that.”
“You don’t have to call me ‘majesty’ you know…” I scrubbed harder, as if that could wipe away the fact of what I was, of the difference in our stations. Mainly because I knew what she’d say before she said it.
“It would be inappropriate to call you anything else.”
I sighed and added, almost absently. “I guess it’s for the best. Even if you called me by my name, you’d probably confuse my brothers for me anyway.”
She got quiet for a long while, then. It took me a moment to realize that she was staring, mouth hanging open ever so slightly, almost as if she meant to say something. She closed it, opened it again. “I guess it must be tiring…” she commented.
“Tiring?”
She nodded. “It must be so tiring to be confused with someone else all of the time. To never have your own identity. To just be known as ‘one of the triplets’.”
It was my turn to freeze, to let her words mull over me. She’d understood, without me having to tell her, she understood what I felt, the exhaustion I carried with me every day. I was so moved, so surprised by her observation, that I found myself whispering softly, “It is tiring…”
She nodded, as if she understood completely, and looked down at the floor. “Oops,” she said. “Looks like we’ll need more water. Dirty already…” She started to stand up and grab the bucket, but I was on my feet in an instant, dropping the sloshy rag onto the floor.
“Let me get it,” I offered, taking the bucket in her stead.
She was already shaking her head in protest. “I can manage…”
“Please,” I whispered. “The kitchens are a long way away. You shouldn’t strain yourself so much. It’ll pull a back muscle or something.”
I’d pulled a lot of muscles trying to find the perfect reading position. She didn’t need to know that.
“If you insist…” She let me go reluctantly, and I rushed to get her the water she needed to the kitchens. The faster I got it, the faster I could be with her again. The kitchen staff had looked at me incredulously when I told them I needed a bucket of water for Maudey. They murmured but eventually gave it to me, and I rushed back without sparing them another glance.
I ran through the halls, careful not to let the water slosh out of the sides, failing in my feat when I nearly rammed into my brother, Aidan. We both stopped and stared at each other. His eyes assessed the bucket in my hands with obvious judgement. I tried not to flush.
“Where are you going?” he asked, eyes narrowing, though a smile quirking on the side of his mouth.
Honesty always came quick between us. “I’m—uh—taking this bucket to Maudey in the library.” Maybe I shouldn’t have been so honest.
His eyes lit up like the way I imagined Ruined City lights to do. His smile grew wider, and mischievousness rolled off his entire body like a gush of wind. “Is that so…” he hmmed. “And who is it you are right now?”
I sighed, knowing exactly what it was he wanted. “Myself…”
He nodded and reached over to take the bucket from me. I took a surprising step back, clutching the bucket tighter. He frowned. “What is it?”
My cheekbones heated. “Uh…” How was I supposed to tell him that I didn’t want him to go in my place? That I didn’t want him tricking her any more than he’d already done. That I wanted the facade to end. That I wanted her to know me. Just me without the influence of my brothers trailing after my every move.
But of course, I couldn’t say any of that.
“Nothing,” I replied quietly, handing the bucket off to his expectant hands. He took it with a smile on his face, flashed me a wink and turned and went to the library.
Leaving me behind.
Wishing I had the courage to, for once, tell the world exactly how I felt.
Chapter Fourteen
Maude
I knew it wasn’t Alastair the moment he stomped into the library like a great, hulking beast. He didn’t care that the water sloshed over the sides and onto the floor. Alastair was obviously the gentlest of the three, and he’d let his real self show when we were alone together.
And by process of elimination, I realized that this great brute coming towards me, with the widened grin was Aidan. Otherwise known as the reputation ruiner.
He came over and dropped the bucket onto the ground. It nearly toppled over, but I grabbed it quickly before that could happen. He took no care as he stomped across the wet floor, leaving dirty tracks, and went to plop himself onto a chair to watch me.
Yes. Definitely Aidan.
I wondered why they even bothered pretending to be each other when they were so bad at it. Alastair had shown me bits of himself, a sweetness that lied beneath the influence of his brothers. And I wondered why he’d even think about keeping it hidden when it was so pure.
“Thanks,” I mumbled with infinite sarcasm.
He draped his arm over the back of his chair, while he brought an ankle up to rest on his knee. I ignored the way his dark pants pulled against the bulge of his muscles with every little action he took. I tried not to think about his brothers, about Adahm and the feel of his body, the press of his lips.
Ugh. I grabbed the wash rag and began scrubbing anew, ignoring Aidan entirely. It was hard to ignore him, when his eyes were wearing holes on my body. I could feel the quiet smile, the need to bother.
I wanted to snap at him. The urge was there on the tip of my tongue. But I was supposed to be playing a role. I was supposed to pretend to think that this was Alastair, even when I knew he wasn’t. I wondered what he’d try to ruin for me this time.
He finally spoke. “Don’t you ever get bo
red with all that work?”
I failed to hold back a snort. Stopping, I looked up at him, tossing my rag back into the bucket. “Unfortunately, I don’t have the luxury of being bored.”
His smile, if at all possible, grew wider, and I wanted to smack it from his face. “I grow bored just watching you.”
I smirked. “Maybe you can go steal some of your mother’s pearls for marbles again.” I suggested unkindly.
He dropped his feet flat on the floor, boots splattering water up on my face. I made no move to wipe it off, like this was a challenge of some sort. He leaned forward, forearms resting on his thighs. His presence was both mischievous and dominant. One eyebrow arched up delicately, curls falling on his forehead.
“That wasn’t me. That was Adahm.”
The name of his brother made me flush. “I’m very aware of who did it, Alastair.”
“Then why are you on my ass about it?”
Slowly, I stood. He obviously wasn’t going to let me get any work done. “Because you and Aidan are all just as much to blame as Adahm was.”
“I hope you drilled Adahm as much as you’re drilling me right now.”
Smiling rather mischievously myself, I dangled the bait. “Adahm apologized to me rather graciously the other night. I’ve forgiven him already.”
Just like I thought it would, his attention snapped up, facial expression pulling into a serious one. “Graciously apologized?” he asked with a slight bit of confusion. “What’s that mean?”
I bent down and picked up the bucket, holding it in front of me. Gifting him with a smile that I hoped would keep him up at night, I replied, “You’ll have to ask him, now won’t you?” And I turned and left.
Chapter Fifteen
Aidan
What the fuck?
What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck…
What had she meant by that? Graciously apologized? What did that mean? My mind conjured up a thousand scenarios, each one worse than the last. Her tone had implied...well it had implied something I didn’t want to think about. It implied that one of my brothers had committed the most atrocious sin of all.
They’d lied to me. And I wasn’t particularly sure which one had done so.
I stormed out of the library and through the castle, in the hopes that I’d run into one of my brothers. I passed Keanna and her guard, ignoring them both and went outside to find my brothers in the training field. Adahm was swinging his sword around, while Alastair was propped up against the thick trunk of an oak tree, looking solemn.
I marched right over to them, thankful that the yard was empty today. Because I was furious.
I stormed over to Adahm, picking up a sword on my way. He swung in practice, making a series of jabs at an imaginary opponent across from him. In my anger, I rushed towards him, holding my own sword up and meeting in the middle, a clash of metal against metal.
Startled, he jumped away from me, lowered his sword then raised it again as I swung at him. We engaged in a battle, a dance of swords. The force of his strength pushed me back, and I jumped up, swinging my sword in an arc. He met it with a loud clang, brought his leg out and swept my own from under me.
I fell to the ground on my back, felt the wind knock out of me. I cleared my vision, just as Adahm pointed the tip of his sword at me, menacing threat. A demand I give up.
Never.
I pushed his sword aside with my own and jumped to my feet. We pushed, clashed, and parried. Elbows and fists were used, we twirled, clanged. This was a dance for dominance, for power. I had never had to fight my brothers for such a thing before. We were equals. We shared everything. But in my rage, I didn’t care. I wanted him to hurt. I wanted him to fall.
I brought my fist back and forward, aiming straight for his nose, coming inches from him, when I suddenly felt myself being pulled back.
Strong arms went around me, holding me in place. I thrashed, and then Alastair’s voice sounded in my ear. “Calm down.”
He jerked me against his chest and the sword clamored from my hand, falling into the grass. Sweaty and breathing heavily, Adahm dropped his own sword as well with a curse and glared at me.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, Aidan?” Adahm demanded.
Alastair finally let go of me and I pushed him in my anger. He stepped next to Adahm, both of them looking at me like I was a wild boar, ready to attack.
“What’s wrong is that the both of you are liars!” I bellowed.
Adahm’s features, so like my own, pulled together in a frown of confusion. Alastair cast a cautious look around, as if afraid we’d be overheard. “What are you talking about?” he asked. He sounded genuinely confused, but I knew better than to trust him. I could have, before this, before Maudey had uttered those words that had irrevocably changed everything between us. But we were masters at deception.
Slowly, I bent and picked up my discarded sword. Adahm assumed a wary stance, Alastair as well. I just gripped the golden hilt in my hand and held the weapon out, pointing it accusingly from one brother to the next.
“One of you fucked Maudey, didn’t you?”
They froze.
I read their reactions closely, watched as, both of them, shifted their bodies and positions, looked to each other, questioning, then back to me. Masters at deception. I wouldn’t be fooled with the innocent, wide eyes.
“What do you mean someone fucked Maudey?” Adahm asked. There was a hint of anger in his voice. Interesting. I glared at Alastair. Had he been the one to do it?
“I mean what I said. She just confessed to me what a wonderful apology one of you gave her.” I dipped my sword lower, pointing it right where Alastair’s heart was. He kept his calm expression in place. “You were the only one of us in her room at night, brother.” I took a step forward, let the tip of my blade dig into his chest. Not hard enough to draw blood. He didn’t flinch. “You were the only one who apologized. I have to wonder, did something happen between the two of you that you didn’t tell me about?”
His jaw clenched. A fraction of a movement, unfortunately I didn’t know what that meant. “Nothing happened,” he ground out.
My eyebrows raised rather sarcastically. “No?” I turned the blade towards Adahm, digging it into his chest as well. He didn’t keep still. He knocked the steel aside with the back of his hand. “Could it have been you?” I accused.
Adahm rolled his eyes. “Nothing happened between Maudey and I. She’s lying.”
Even as he said the words, I wondered if he could feel who the real liar was between us. I shook my head back and forth, dropped the sword to the ground with a clang in almost resignation. “What happened to trust?” I asked quietly. “What happened to sharing everything?”
“Gods’ sake, Aidan, we were kids when we made that pact. Does that mean we’re always going to share every single woman, too?” Adahm defended angrily. He ran a hand through his mop of curls, placed a hand on his hip. Frustration radiated off of him like the flames of a bonfire.
“Yes,” I answered furiously. “That’s what that means. You never had a problem with it before.”
A look of hurt flashed over his features, and guilt swelled up in my chest. Damn it. I hadn’t meant to hurt him that way. I hadn’t meant for this to spiral out of control. I loved my brothers, I loved being inseparable. And there was a deep, superficial part of me that always wanted them with me. We were alike, the three of us, and so different. Each of us was unique in mannerisms, yet so undeniably the same. I couldn’t imagine a world without them in it. I couldn’t imagine a world that we didn’t share. And I wanted to share every moment with the two men I loved most in the world.
I knew that there was a small part of them that wanted freedom away from me. It hurt, in truth. It hurt to feel the sense that little by little, they wanted to pull away from me. I always managed to pull them back, afraid that there would be something that would pull us apart. It was why I’d chased to many people away, when I saw them get too close. Even now, as I screamed
my accusations, I could feel the abyss between us becoming deeper, and all I wanted to do was fill up that hole.
And maybe…
Maybe Maudey would be the one to keep us together.
I looked at them with a sudden clarity. “There’s only one solution now…” I said, ever slowly, as I formed the idea piece by piece in my mind. It was perfect. The perfect union. The one thing—or rather, the one person—who could keep us together forever. I was no fool. I looked into their eyes, anytime I said her name, and saw it there. “We will all have to share her.”
Chapter Sixteen
Adahm
I blinked, sure I’d heard him wrong. Alastair stopped breathing. We turned to each other, looked back at him. It was I who broke the silence. “What the fuck?” That was all I could manage to say. No coherent words or thoughts could be formed. There was only shock, where logic should have been.
He clapped his hands together, a smile replacing his earlier anger. I recognized the smile. Mischievousness that was purely Aidan. Like some trickster god of old. “It’s perfect!” he exclaimed. “We all have to share Maudey.”
Alastair took a small step forward. “Now, wait a minute, Aidan…”
Aidan shot him a glare. “It’s perfect, and you know it. Since one of you,” he shot me a glare, “slept with her without consent from us, we will all have to do so now.”
“I didn’t sleep with Maudey!” I practically shouted. My cheeks heated as I said the words. I hadn’t slept with her, but I’d been damn near close. We’d kissed, and I’d wanted to ravish her ever since. I couldn’t tell them that, though. Not without being further branded as a traitor. I was, but that was irrelevant at the moment.
Aidan flicked off my words. It was obvious he didn’t believe me. “We have to share her.” he said with finality. “It’s the only way.”
Hers From The Start: A Collection of First In Series Reverse Harem Page 69