“The only way to what Aidan?” Alastair asked calmly.
“To keep our facade going…”
Finally, Alastair made a noise of impatience. “We can keep our facade going without taking it too far. Sharing her? We couldn’t possibly. And besides, she should get a say in who she sleeps with.”
I agreed. Besides, I wanted her to sleep with me. I wanted Maudey all for myself. It was selfish, I knew, especially after the pact we’d made, but I wanted her like I’d never wanted another woman, even if I didn’t quite understand why myself.
“She won’t know the difference…”
“That’s treachery! I’d never take part in something like that.”
“I agree,” I added. “We cannot go on like this forever, and I refuse to go along with this maddening plan.”
His jaw and fists clenched as he looked back and forth between us, almost as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. We rarely disagreed. We rarely argued, and we always shared. This was new to him. Gods, it was new to me, too.
“Fine,” he decided, dropping his hands at his sides. “Then we will let her decide…”
I froze all over again, heart and stomach tightening painfully inside. “What do you mean?”
He smiled, shrugged a big shoulder. “We can continue our facade. Continue to be each other. But if she decides she wants to sleep with...let’s say...me, then I won’t hold back.”
I ground my teeth together in an effort to not give him the tongue lashing I truly wanted to. What I really wanted to do, though, was to reach across the space that separated us and knock my fist into his teeth.
“That’s still a treachery,” Alastair said unkindly.
“Ah,” He held his finger up. “But is it? She will get to decide who she wants to sleep with. She can think me to be whoever she wants, and if she fucks me on the servants’ table, who am I to stop her?”
“Aidan, you can’t…”
“Gods!” I ran a hand through my hair. The image of Aidan and Maudey together stirred a jealousy in me that I never knew existed. I really, really wanted to drive my fist into his face. I was practiced in schooling my features into emotions I didn’t feel. I knew, just by the look on his face, that there wouldn’t be any negotiating, changing his mind. He would stick to this plan, if only to drive me crazy.
My thoughts whirled. He wanted to use Maudey as a way to keep us together, to keep this game going between us. It was too much, too far. And I didn’t want to play along with this, but an idea came to me. If I did go along with this, if I got closer to Maudey, could she finally be the one? Could I make her get close to me, fall for me, and be able to tell us apart? Maybe she’d be able to. Maybe if she got to know me, the real me, maybe she wouldn’t fall into bed with either of them, because she’d know.
I turned to him, a clarity burning in my eyes. “Fine,” I conceded. “Let’s do it.”
Aidan smiled and Alastair looked at me as if I’d lost my mind.
Maybe I had.
I didn’t care.
“Let’s share.”
Chapter Seventeen
Maude
I startled at the knock that sounded on my door that night. A quick rap that had me jumping from bed and pulling a shawl around my head and shoulders. The hem of the nightgown I wore scraped along the backs of my calves. It was one of the shorter ones I owned; the others were being washed. A plain drab thing, that felt too tight against my rounded curves, entirely too inappropriate for answering the door at this time of night. Especially since I had an inkling as to who it could be.
I opened it quietly, slowly, and just a crack, eyes immediately going to the fingers that weasled their way around the door frame. I smiled, looked up at his smiling, arrogant face. “Hello Alastair,” I whispered sultrily, suggestively.
He froze, jaw clenching, as he pushed the door open and stepped through. “Wrong brother,” he commented tightly, closing the door behind him. “I’m Adahm, but good guess.”
I knew who he was. The ink beneath his fingernails was a dead giveaway. I’d only wanted to tease. If the three brothers were tricking me, I could spin the game right back on them. I tried to look chastised, lowering my head a fraction and stepping back. “Of course,” I whispered. “Forgive me, Majesty.”
His eyes narrowed on me. “Call me Adahm. Wait...were you expecting Alastair?”
I tried not to smirk as I looked up with wide, innocent eyes. “Of course not, Majesty. I wasn’t expecting anyone.”
His body physically relaxed at that statement, but tensed right back up. “Did you tell Alastair that we fucked?”
It was my turn to tense, to let my words come out in gasping stammers. “O-of course not, Majesty.” I’d implied the notion to Aidan, though.
“Stop calling me that!” he snapped, pushing a hand through his curls. They tangled halfway and he brought his hand back out, lowering it as his side to curl into a fist. “Why did you tell Alastair we fucked?”
I took a deliberately slow step back. “I didn’t. I only told him you apologized to me for the pearl incident.”
His eyebrow quirked up. “Really…” he cooed.
I nodded vigorously, felt a strand of blonde hair slip onto my cheek. I pushed it away with my fingers, and he eyed the movement in an almost hungry manner. I froze, just as a smile curled on his mouth. A mouth I vividly remembered devouring my own. My skin suddenly flushed as I remembered the texture and heat of him, the soft taste of his tongue on my own, and the warmth of lips.
His demeanor, in an instant, changed entirely. It was like he read what direction my thoughts had gone, and when he took a step closer to me, I took one back. Feeling the edge of the bed surprised the backs of my calves and had me falling onto it. The dress rode up my thighs, and I yanked it down, feeling the shawl drape down to my shoulders, exposing the strands of my hair down my back. His movements were deliberate, sensual, as he prowled closer to me, like a great feline going in for his prey.
He stopped at the edge of the bed, our legs touching slightly. My heart was pounding an erratic rhythm in my chest, catching in the back of my throat. He leaned forward, caging me in with both arms on either side of me as he pressed his palms into the mattress and leaned so close, our lips were a whisper of breath apart.
“We didn’t fuck, Maudey. But we can. If you really want to.”
I couldn’t breathe. His words were a dangerous promise, a plea, one I feared I was too weak to resist. I felt my lips tremble as I opened my mouth to repeat, “I didn’t tell him that.” My words quivered breathlessly. Gods above, what was he doing to me? This prince, this dangerous prince could flip the tables easily. In an instant I was a shivering mess in front of him, longing for our bodies to be closer together. Traitorous, my feelings.
His lips quirked into a smile. “Was my kiss so amazing, Maudey?” he asked. Somehow, he had inched slightly closer to me. And yet we still seemed so far apart. “Did you long for more?”
“I-I-I don’t know what you mean.”
Even we both knew that was a lie.
“I can assure you Maudey, that once we fuck, you will know only me.”
And then, he did what I’d longed for him to do since he’d walked into that room. He kissed me. His lips felt just like I remembered, soft and demanding, opening my mouth to claim my tongue. I arched back, losing myself in him and his kiss. It was wrong. We were so different. He was a prince. I was his servant. He had tried tricking me. I only wanted revenge. But in this moment, none of that mattered, because he felt so good against me. And then he shifted, and I felt the slightest trace of his fingers against the back of my calf, trailing up higher to my thighs, pushing up the material of my nightgown with the movement.
I pulled away, feeling my body tremble. “W-what are you doing?” I whispered.
His eyes flared, but his fingers didn’t stop as they hiked my nightdress up higher to expose my naked thighs. His mouth nipped my chin, tongue sliding along the edge of my jawline. “Isn’t it
obvious?” he whispered near the lobe of my ear. “I am going to fuck you.”
His words made me sigh, arch back as he continued his ministrations against my skin. “We really shouldn’t…” Gods, his mouth felt so good against my skin. He stopped where the neckline of my dress met my throat. The pause was so long that I looked down at him. He was looking up at me from beneath bright red lashes.
“Don’t you want to?” he asked.
Gods, I wanted to. Not doing so was burning me from the inside. But this was wrong. It shouldn’t be happening. I shouldn’t want him. I shouldn’t want a prince who had tried fooling me. We had no future together. We could never be… But… I could enjoy myself, right? I had a right to this, if only once, or however long it would last. It wouldn’t last. It couldn’t. Soon, he’d find himself engaged to a far away princess, and I’d be but a distant memory to him. I didn’t have to get attached though. It could be purely physical. It could be this one moment, before I ruined their facade forever…
“Yes,” I replied breathlessly. “I want to.”
His smile was breathtaking, and he only gave me a glimpse of it before he was pushing me back against the mattress. I slid up it, his body following mine. His fingers went to the buttons at my neck and with impatient fingers, he pulled at it, ripping the seams and scattering buttons around the bed.
I gasped, arching at his urgency, at the quick work he made of divesting me of my nightgown, pushing aside the lapels to expose my nakedness beneath it. He pulled at the material, and I adjusted my position, helping him slip it from my arms. The shawl had fallen behind me, cushioning my skin. My hair fell across my pillow, and he pushed aside a few strands with the back of his hands.
We stared at each other for a moment, intensity flying like sparks between us. I wondered if he was admiring me, or if he was perhaps giving me a chance to change my mind. I wouldn’t. Couldn’t. I hated him, hated that stupid grin and his disregard for others, but even then, I could still want his body, right?
Right?
I squirmed beneath him, lifted my hips up to meet his, chafing my clit against the rough material of his pants. The movement incited a gasp from my lips, and that was all the sound it took for him to press himself against me once more. Using lips, tongue, and teeth, he had stars dancing behind closed eyelids with sensations he was provoking. His teeth scraped across my skin, grazing my peaked nipple. I moaned, fingers finding the sheets to grip them as if my life depended on it.
My body was on fire, desperate to feel him against me, desperate for his touch, for nothing to be between us at all. I wanted us to ignite together. To blaze higher than we ever thought possible. Going slow wasn’t on my mind. Not with this growing need inside of me. I rubbed against him desperately.
“More,” I whispered, reaching a hand out to thread through the roots of his hair. I tugged, forcing him to look up at me. “More.”
He slid up my body, and then went between us. The feel of his hands suddenly there whirled my mind, made me cry out as he relieved some of that pressure. Fingers slid between my folds, teasing the wetness. But that’s not what I wanted. I wanted him. All of him.
I reached for the hem of his shirt and tugged it upwards. He chuckled, the sound low and tantalizing, and helped me pull it from his body much quicker. My hands were suddenly there, exploring the panes of his massive chest, his wide arms. Muscles decorated his abdomen, and there was the slightest spot of color on his collarbone, like a dried dot of yellow paint. I reached up and pressed a kiss to that spot. He shuddered.
Then his fingers went to the waistband of his pants, flicking open the button. He hooked a thumb inside and pulled down. My fingers went there as well, helping him to move faster. I wanted him so badly I was burning. When he finally sprung free, my breath caught in the back of my throat as I took in his length. Like a strong pillar it rose up, a shining bead of liquid teasing me at the tip of it. I bit my bottom lip and couldn’t help myself as I took his member in my hand. His body tensed, he groaned as I moved my wrist, sliding slowly down and then up. He jerked against my palm.
Smiling I wriggled beneath him into position, holding his dick steady at my entrance. Our breaths mingled into a harsh sort of melody. Shadows danced across his skin in colors of gold and red. His muscles were tense, ready, waiting. I settled him between my folds, and moved my hand. Just as I did, I felt him thrust.
I screamed. There was pain that nearly chased away all pleasure at first, followed by a pressure as he filled me, as my insides accommodated to his size. I gasped as I jerked my hips up to meet him at the hilt. I clutched at his shoulders, nails digging into his skin.
Gods, nothing had ever felt so right. I thrust again, only to realize, he wasn’t moving at all. I pulled away to look him in the eyes. He was staring at me, a half lidded expression of pain marring his beautiful features. He was looking at me like he didn’t know me. Like he was unsure…
I nipped his chin, pressing my lips to the dimple in the center. “Take me,” I pleaded.
And just like that, he began rocking, taking my mind—and too late, I would realize, my heart—over the edge of an abyss I feared I’d never climb out of again.
Chapter Eighteen
Adahm
Gods above. A virgin. She was a bloody virgin. And I was the cad deflowering her. Over a gods’ damned bet with my lousy brothers. But at the moment, it all flew away from me. Every single thought flew away except the feel of her beneath me, inside me. The feel of her hips rising up to meet mine, the sound of her moans filling the room around us… Gods I wanted to drown in it. I wanted to drown in every little inch of her until I died.
I held her tightly, fingers digging into the skin at her waist as I thrust, sending her into spiralling, fiery pleasure. It was in her every gasp and scream, it was in the way she clawed at my shoulders, and bit the lobe of my ear. It was in the way she so tenderly kissed my throat that sent me down that tunnel of pleasure, where she followed soon after.
I held her closely a moment longer, before I realized I must be crushing her with the heavy weight of my body. I pulled out of her, felt the warmth of my semen and her blood flow onto the sheets. I rolled away from her, falling flat on my back.
“Fuck…” I whispered.
Her breathing was ragged, and through it all, she gave the slightest of chuckles.
I turned to glare at her, but she didn’t look at me. “What’s so funny?”
She looked at me then, and her smile was radiant. Her knees were still up, widened. The smell of sex swirled around my senses. “You,” she replied.
I groaned, shoving fingers through my hair and rubbing them across my face. “That does wonders to my self esteem, Maudey.”
Slowly, she lowered her knees until she was flat on the bed as well. The mattress dipped as she turned. I looked at her, and she rested her cheek on the palm of her hand, elbow propped up as she stared at me with amusement.
“You look like a prince with regrets.”
I groaned. “Fuck.” That was the last thing I wanted her to think I felt. I didn’t regret a thing. I couldn’t bring myself to feel that emotion. How could I regret something that had felt so good? Something I’d been wanting to do for days, weeks. To have her every inch. To feel her trembling inside me. And now that I’d tasted her once, I wanted to have her again. I wanted her to scream my name. I wanted her to know who exactly it was she was crying out for.
Like the kiss, this moment was something I refused to let her forget.
“I didn’t hurt you?” I asked softly, turning and reaching a hand out to stroke along her arm. If I’d known she was a virgin, I would have been gentler. I would have stroked her slowly, prepared her for me instead of impaling her like a damned beast.
She grabbed my hand, stopping me mid stroke, and brought my fingers up to her mouth, where she pressed a kiss to the tips, almost like she and my hand shared an intimate secret. “You didn’t,” she whispered against my skin.
I smirked, grabbed her by th
e waist and pulled her close. “Good,” I bent, whispering against her mouth. “Because I want to do it again.”
Chapter Nineteen
Maude
The next morning, I awoke before any of the other servants had risen. I tried to be as quiet as possible as I bundled my bloodied sheets together into a ball and snuck out of my room. First, I peeked around the corners to make sure no one was about, and then I rushed to the kitchens and down the steps to the laundry room. I made quick work of soaking and scrubbing my white sheets until no trace of last night was left as evidence.
I hung it outside to dry and then went about the gardens, picking up the herbs I needed and went to the kitchen to brew a tea. When it finished, I poured the contents into a cup and started drinking. By then, the servants had started to rise and hustle into the kitchen. Some of the women eyed me suspiciously, looking back and forth from the cup to my face.
I betrayed nothing, even though I wanted to flush brightly under their scrutiny. No doubt they’d heard what had transpired in my room the night before. After all, the servants quarters were close together, and though the walls were made of stone, there was an echo. They’d probably heard how many times Adahm and I had fucked last night, and the way he’d crept from my room shortly after. It wouldn’t surprise me if they’d been listening at the door.
The laundress came into the kitchen, took one look at me, and her lips curled into the slyest of smiles. I ignored her, sipping my tea quickly. I had duties to get to, and their looks and judgements wouldn’t slow me down. When I finished my cup, I placed it in the tin tub full of dirty dishes. Just as I was turning, I suddenly found the laundress in front of me, her young face turned down in a sneer.
“Enjoying your tea?” she asked in a voice that was too sweet to be innocent. She looked over at the pan I’d made the tea in, as the herbs sunken at the bottom. It was no secret that it was an antipregnancy brew. Soon, the whole castle would know that I’d fucked the prince.
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