“Fuck, Kitkat, I want to hear that sound again.”
“Me, too, KK.”
I had been wrong earlier when I’d tried to hide my red face because it had nothing on the color I was now.
Chapter Ten
“Ryan, if the three of you are done, can you bring in your dessert plates and put them in the dishwasher? Thanks.” Julianna pulled her head back into the house and shut the patio door.
I lifted Kris’s plate to stack on mine, but two different hands stilled mine.
“I’ve got this, KitKat.” It was then I noticed the silent conversation Kris and Ryan were holding over my head.
Kris took my hand in his. “Let’s go to the secret garden.”
Nodding, I allowed him to pull me to my feet and lead me away. I would have followed him anywhere so long as Ryan could come as well.
It was our first trip to the secret garden since the summer before. My heart picked up its pace in anticipation.
Stepping through the arbor, my breathing slowed despite the speed of my heart. The magic of the spot infused me with peace and calmness. I could see the change in Kris as well. His shoulders relaxed, and his breaths became deeper, slower.
With a shy smile, I led him to the couch, pulling him down to sit next to me. His arm went around my shoulder and he returned the sentiment by pulling me into his chest. My cheek rested above his heart as the two of us sat in silence, allowing the beauty to seep within us.
My fingers traced the lines of the muscles on his forearm as I tried to figure out how to start the conversation. Kris held too many issues inside, never willing to be the first to speak about things affecting him, but I knew he hurt. “I haven’t seen Desiree, yet. How’s she holding up after your parent’s death?”
The fingers on my shoulder moved slightly, and I felt a gentle tugging on the ends of my hair before his fingers began to spread apart my braid. He’d told me earlier how he loved my long hair, especially when it hung loose and free like the people of his ancestors. The rhythmic threading of his fingers appeared to soothe his troubled spirit as his heart slowed below my cheek.
“It’s been tough, but she’s hanging on. She has friends here which is good. It keeps her occupied when I’m busy with team stuff.” He dropped a kiss onto the top of my head as his other hand landed on my thigh, drawing me closer. “Julianna offered to let her live here for the school year, but Desiree choose to stay with me. I assumed she wanted to go to the same school Mom and Dad sent her to, but she asked to attend a local one near my condo instead.”
He pulled my far leg over his lap, settling me into a straddle over his thighs.
Tilting my head up, I examined his grief filled eyes. I understood loss, but I didn’t know the pain he was feeling. My mother may have walked out on me, but she was still alive. My fingers walked up his chest until I cupped his stubbled cheek. “Of course she’s staying with you. She loves her older brother.”
My thumb traced over the smooth, soft skin under his dark eyes. They were awash in emotion. From uncertainty and concern over his sister, to his own loss and sadness, to whatever it was that he felt for me, it was all there for me to see instead of being hidden away like normal.
I licked my lips again and my breathing became shallow. There was nothing I wanted more than to feel his lips on mine. Their softness and their warmth as they heated my skin. The roughness of his tongue as it mapped and caressed the inside of my mouth. I’d missed that feeling and now that we were back together, it was all I could think about, all that I wanted. Just thinking about it drove me crazy.
Our heads drew closer. Our eyes never breaking contact. The air became heavy around us, dampening all sounds, as the only thing I could hear beside my own heart and lungs were his.
The slightest pressure of his lips on mine brought a loud moan, the same as I’d made while eating dessert. He smiled against my lips as he applied pressure.
My arms went around his neck. The feel of his ultra short hair was so different under my palms. I moaned again and his tongue darted into my mouth. The scent of sandalwood and nutmeg filled my senses as I pulled myself closer. I needed to feel his body against mine, to hold him tight as I floated away on the rush of hormones.
His hands flexed on my hips as if he fought to keep them there. I wasn’t sure what I thought about that idea. Especially not when his lips left mine to trace and lick their way across my cheek and down my neck, making a stop in the hollow below my ear.
I tilted my head and then my body away from his, giving him room to drag his tongue over my collarbones and the beginnings of my cleavage. The movement pulled my groin into his, and I felt his rigid length pushing against his zipper, against me.
I’d never felt this way before, but the feel of it made me heady with power and confidence. Me—no one special—could draw such a physical response from his body. Tilting my hips, I rocked them again and again over that bulge as I flew higher and higher.
For the first time, I understood how easy it would be to get carried away, to take things further. And I wondered if this was really what I wanted.
His fingers tightened to near bruising on my hips, stilling me as we both panted. “KK, I l-”
The brush of footsteps on the path and Ryan’s whistling stopped him from whatever he was about to say, and I felt a momentary loss. His hands tucked my hair behind both ears as he played with them, making me squirm on his lap. Squirming was not the right course of action when we both groaned at the sensation.
“Kris, Desiree’s on the phone for you.” Ryan stepped out from under the arbor holding Kris’s cell phone. “You left it on the table.”
Kris nodded as he helped me to climb off his lap before reaching for the phone and standing. His hand caressed my cheek as he began to step away talking to Desiree.
I wanted to blush at the compromising position Ryan found us in, but I couldn’t. All my blood still pumped energy into the tingles I had floating inside.
His blue eyes were dark with desire and lust—I knew what these looked like now—as he sat next to me.
“Was there anything wrong with Desiree?” My eyes watched as Kris strode away toward the arbor.
Ryan’s hand cradled my cheek, drawing my gaze back to him. “She’s fine, just wanting a ride home from some party she was at tonight.”
I nodded, sad to see Kris leave, but understanding his reasoning. I knew there had never been a choice for Desiree as to who she would live with. Kris was her idol, the best big brother ever.
The sorrow I felt must have shown on my face as Ryan’s free hand wrapped around my back and began to rub. But each pass pushed me closer to him until I ended up straddling him as well.
This time, his prominent bulge was already in place. My eyes rolled back, and I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood at the feel.
His pushed me on top of it. My breathing became labored as his mouth struck in a no-holds-barred type of kiss. The ones from movies when two people can’t get enough of each other.
He nipped my bottom lip, pulling it free from my teeth before sucking on it. A bolt of lightning struck me at the eroticism of the act. Now that I had much judge from.
What I did know, though, was the differences in their kisses.
He pulled back, resting his forehead on mine as he breathed heavily. I could smell and even taste the strawberry-rhubarb crisp on him. The scent matched perfectly with his own of leather and lavender.
“Talk to me, Kitkat. What going on in that pretty brain you have?” He kissed my forehead and then both cheeks before placing another one on the tip of my nose.
“How is Kris really doing? He puts on such a brave front, but it’s got to be tearing him up inside.” My hands flattened against his chest as he used a single foot to gently rock us.
This time it was Ryan biting his lip as I shifted positions slightly, allowing me to feel empowered and bolder as I waited for his answer.
“He’s doing well considering. At least they died at the end of his
first season playing in Ottawa.” His voice trailed away. To an outsider, his comment probably sounded strange, but I understood what he meant. Playing professional hockey was more than just fitness, more than just a job. So much of their game and performance was mental. I couldn’t have even imagined how Kris would have been able to play while trying to get a handle on his grief. At least with the season over, he could grieve and learn to live with the changes before the next season started.
“I think having Desiree stay with him during the season will help him, especially as Mom has promised to come up and stay with Desiree whenever he has to leave with the team.”
As he talked his fingers trailed over my lower limbs before slowly climbing them. The feather light touch brought goosebumps to my skin as well as that strange twitchy feeling in my lower abdomen.
“I’m going to miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too, Kitkat. I wish there was some way I could get your dad to let you come visit me in Florida with Kris. I’ll be so lonely there.”
Our lips collided. Jolting me into his erection again.
Yes. This is what I want. What I missed. I tilted my pelvis, rocking on him. I didn’t know if I was doing anything right, but I wanted explore what was happening between us. I didn’t want to follow my stepmonster’s rules about boys and sex anymore. I wanted to experience everything. And I wanted it with both Kris and Ryan.
His hands slid up the outside of my thighs, skimming my waist as they rose. Finally. His hands slid under my shirt. The minute he touched that hidden bare skin, I felt a moment of eternal bliss. I never wanted it to end.
Thumbs reached the edge of my bra cup, tracing the bottom line before reaching up and pulling down the cups, giving him easy access to untouched areas of my body. When his thumb and index finger pinched my nipple, my world nearly shattered. All of a sudden sound roared back into my life. My own ragged breath drowned out my heart. He continued to play with my breasts while I continued to rock myself on his hard length.
Suddenly, I knew what I wanted. I want him to be my first. Not that I didn’t want Kris, because I did. But, rather, I wanted Ryan because he was here in front of me.
It wasn’t as if they were interchangeable. My kisses earlier with Kris were completely different than the ones I shared with Ryan.
As our mouths fused together, I unbuttoned his polo shirt before dropping my hands to go under, pulling it up when they rose. His warm skin flexed each muscle as I traced them with the tips of my fingers.
I kissed my way over his chin and down his neck until I reached the little hollow at the top of his chest. I let my tongue and teeth as well as my mouth tease him as my fingers worked their magic on his chest.
“Make love to me,” I murmured as I continued to grind shamelessly into him. My body burned from the inside with need, a thirst that only he could quench.
His fingers slid down, grasping the hem of my shirt. Yes! This is going to happen. My heart sped but slowed once his fingers no longer moved.
He drew my chest up against his and rested his head on mine. “Fuck, Kitkat, I can’t.”
My heart crumbled. Why didn’t he want me? I thought all guys wanted sex all the time. It was what my stepmonster kept saying.
I burrowed my face into his chest, too mortified to leave, and yet too mortified to stay. My shoulders shook. A traitorous tear slid down my cheek. And then another followed. No. No. No! This can’t be happening.
His hands stroked the length of my hair. “Are you crying, Kitkat?” He continued to soothe my battered soul as he gathered my hair into one hand.
There was no way I could answer him without revealing the truth, but a non answer seemed to trigger the same response within him. “You know I want you, right? I really do and I’m flattered that you want me to be your first. But I don’t want to do it here when my parents could easily interrupt us.” He placed a number of kisses on the top of my head as I absorbed his words.
Could he be telling the truth? I searched my memories for scenes like this at my school. I remembered guys grabbing that area and talking about how hard they were for different girls and how they wanted to sleep with them. It did seem like a guy who developed an erection from a girl wanted to sleep with her. Did that mean that both of them wanted to sleep with me?
He lifted my face off his chest and slid my body farther away on his knees. “Trust me, Kitkat. I never wanted someone more.”
I examined his eyes, looking for deception, but I didn’t find any. Nodding, a small sincere smile grew on my face while a matching one grew on his.
“Come on, Kitkat. I should get you home before both my mom and your aunt kill me for something I didn’t do. Although, it isn’t as if I don’t dream about it enough to probably warrant the same reaction.”
I couldn’t help it. I had to chuckle, bringing a full grin to his face.
“Now that’s another of my favorite sounds.” His thumb lightly brushed over my mouth as his lips followed.
Sighing, he pulled away. “I just can’t seem to stop touching you, which means I definitely need to get you home.”
He helped me to slide off his knees and held my waist until I felt steady. Standing, he dropped another quick kiss onto my nose. “Right. Home.” Entwining our fingers, he led me back through the path and down the fork that led to the gate between the two properties.
At the foot of Aunt Susan’s porch stair, he lifted our joined hands and placed a kiss at the end of each of my fingers. “Night, Kitkat. Kris and I will see you bright and early for another training session tomorrow.”
“Night, Ryan.” I walked up the steps as I heard his feet retreat through the grass. Yawning, I headed directly to my bed, knowing my dreams would be filled with them.
Chapter Eleven
I looked at my watch again as I wandered through Aunt Susan’s house. The boys were already two hours later than usual, but sometimes things happened. A phone call from an agent or team member, maybe from the coach, were all in the realm of possibility. I’d tried calling Ryan’s house at the one hour mark, but no one picked up. And when I was outside working in the garden, their house appeared silent.
My pacing had nothing to do with the sliver of unease that continued to wedge itself deeper but rather boredom. Or at least that was what I kept telling myself as I entered the kitchen once again, looking for something to do. I thought about baking but decided against it. Maybe a good book?
Two steps outside the kitchen, I jumped as the phone rang, breaking the silence. Clutching my chest, I ran back into the kitchen and yanked the handle off the wall mounted phone. A smile grew on my face as I said, “Hello,” eager to hear either Kris or Ryan’s voice.
But the answering voice knocked the smile from my face. “F-f-father? What’s wrong?” I wracked my brain trying to remember the last time he called me this early into my summer vacation. Nothing popped up.
As his words poured out over the phone, I slumped against the counter, knocked over by what he said. It couldn’t be. I must have misheard. Interrupting him mid sentence, I asked him to slow down and explain it clearly.
My knees buckled and a sharp pain shot up my back as my butt landed on the hard floor. This could not be happening. We had an agreement, a deal I stuck with to get these seven weeks with Aunt Susan and the rest of my true family. “B-but, father, you promised. This is—”
My father cut me off yelling some absurdities, but I couldn’t listen. The floodgates opened, salty tears streamed down my face and into my mouth. An overwhelming need to scream boiled up inside me, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
Rolling my eyes when he called my name wanting an answer, I growled, “I’m listening.” The tears continued to silently roll down my cheeks as my body shook. I wanted to plead, to argue, but his tone held no room for argument.
“Fine, Father.” I put every ounce of anger I could into the word father as I pushed myself high enough to grab the pen and notepad off the counter. “I. Have. It.”
&
nbsp; I wrote each off the details as he listed them and then hung up without saying a word. If he wanted to tell me anything else, he could talk to Aunt Susan’s answering machine.
The only thing keeping me upright was my anger, but as the full implication hit, the fire of my anger was banked as numbness crept over. How could he? This was bullshit, and I didn’t even swear. But bullshit it was. I’d put up with all their silly rules, had no friends during the school year, took care of my siblings, and a thousand other things, so this could not be happening.
I slumped to the floor as the phone rang again. As much as I wanted it to be Kris or Ryan so I could receive some comfort from their voices, I let it ring. The last thing I wanted was to hear my father’s voice again. At this point, if I wasn’t worried about him calling the police and charging Aunt Susan with kidnaping, I would have refused his order to return home immediately.
Tilting my head back against the cabinet, I stared at the tiny dots on Aunt Susan’s white textured ceiling. “Crap. How am I going to get the bus depot?’
“I guess that depends on when.”
My head dropped and my eyes landed on Desiree. Hastily wiping my cheeks, I tried to give her a smile. “S-sorry Desiree, I didn’t see you.”
Desiree crossed the floor and dropped to sit facing me. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “I knocked, but when you didn’t answer”—she shrugged her shoulders—“I came in when I heard you crying.”
I chewed on my lip not sure what to say. I’d barely seen her from a distance during the previous two weeks before the boys returned and since then my time was filled with them. My eyes absorbed her sadness and grief, two feelings I was intimately familiar with. Pushing aside my own issues, I wanted to do what I could for her. “How are you holding up?”
She gave me a wobbling smile, but relief coursed through me when a small sparkle twinkled in her eyes. “I think I should be asking you that question.”
Hers From The Start: A Collection of First In Series Reverse Harem Page 81