Hers From The Start: A Collection of First In Series Reverse Harem

by Laura Greenwood

  My hand fluttered to the ends of my hair lying on my neck. “Are you sure. I haven’t had short hair since my stepmother came into the picture.” I dropped my eyes to the top of Chloe’s head. “Ladies have long hair. They don’t run around looking like boys,” I mimicked the words spoken to me at every hair trim she’d given me.

  His hand cupped my chin, lifting it. “That’s not true. You do not look like a boy. You look like a strong, sassy, beautiful lady.” His eyes shone with sincerity, wiping away any misgivings I’d secretly harbored. Sure, I would get in trouble when she saw what I’d done, but who knew when that would be. I wasn’t going to live my life in fear anymore. It was all part of the fresh start I was giving myself.

  Thanking him, I explained the reasons behind my haircut, and my afternoon of pampering. He placed a kiss on my nose, telling me how I deserved it.

  It never failed. No wonder Adam was a doctor. It was what he’d been born to do. Every time he spoke to me about who I was, he placed another stitch into my shattered heart, slowly piecing it back together. I didn’t think I was ready for another relationship, nor would I ever be whole again, but the way my lower tummy clenched and fluttered from his touches, his kisses, I wondered if I might be closer to being ready than I thought.

  “I’m on-call tonight, but I was wondering if you’d eaten supper yet?”

  I shook my head as my stomach growled, answering for me.

  His eyes lit up. “Good. I’ll grab us some food from the cafeteria and bring it up. Met you in your room?”

  My eyes dropped back to Chloe, snuggled so peacefully against my chest. I’d missed her and felt the need to continue to hold her close. “Maybe here instead, if that’s okay? I really missed her this afternoon.”

  “Sure thing.” His eyes clouded over before changing to a look I seen in Kris’s and Ryan’s before they kissed me the first time, but Adam couldn’t be thinking of that. Could he?

  His face moved closer to mind. His eyes dropped briefly to my lips before rebounding back to meet mine. A look of sheer determination rose to his face.

  And then, sweet bliss.

  His lips landed on mine without hesitation, without wavering. It was the kiss I’d given him before, but on steroids. He sucked on my bottom lip and then the top. His teeth nibbled, but his tongue was there to swipe away any sting.

  The earliest stitches in my heart dissolved, leaving a healed path in their wake. My fingers climbed up his chest to grip the lapels of his white doctor’s coat. I wasn’t about to let go. I needed him, this kiss, everything, like I needed air.

  His lips shifted again, forcing mine to part enough for him to wedge his tongue inside. The first stroke of it brushing mine and I opened my mouth fully, wanting him to plunge in, to take what was his. For his it was. I knew it from the bottom of my healing heart.

  His? What do you mean his? Don’t you belong to Kris? To Ryan? For always and forever? I pushed away the annoying thoughts while pulling him closer, completely forgetting where I was. Or that he was working.

  His tongue played with mine, teasing until it submitted. And then he took. The kiss deepened. His hand slid into my hair, angling my head, allowing the strength of his kiss to take on a whole new flavor. He claimed. He devoured.

  I couldn’t breathe. My vision became fuzzy. And I loved every minute of it.

  Chloe stirred between us, rooting for my nipple. The action pulled me back to earth and remind him of where we were. He slowed the kiss down, placing little nips and kisses on my lips, my cheek. Our shoulders heaved. Our breaths ragged by the time he rested his forehead against mine.

  “I’m so sorry, Kayla. I never meant to get that carried away. I just wanted to kiss you. And once I did, I couldn’t stop.”

  A small chuckle rose unsteadily to my lips. “Yeah. Well. Your kiss made me forget where we are.”

  “It made me forget, too.” He pulled away. His eyes twinkled while his thumb brushed against my cheek before he let go of my face. Rubbing his hand over his own cheek and jaw, he grinned. “Maybe I should go get that supper now? Give us a chance to cool down.”

  “Might be a good idea.” My eyes were glued to his backside as he walked away. It was easier to deal with pictures and thoughts about his tight butt than it was to deal with my thoughts and emotions about the kiss. I knew I would have to, but not right now. I wanted to enjoy the lingering effects it had on my body first.

  That night I tossed and turned in my empty bed. Adam had stayed to watch a movie with me, curled up together, our hands laced, but he’d been paged once the movie ended and hadn’t returned.

  There had been a few small kisses, light brushes over my lips, on my head, my temple, but nothing like the serious kiss we’d shared earlier. For that, I was both grateful and sad. The kiss had been really good. It was a knock your socks off once in a lifetime good. And lucky me, I’d experienced three of them. From three different guys.

  I’d gone from the shy sixteen-year-old girl who’d never so much as talked to a boy—the Scotts boys and Kris didn’t count—let alone kissed one, to the seventeen-year-old girl who’d experienced not one, not two, but three earth shattering kisses.

  I groaned and flipped onto my back, staring at the dimly lit up ceiling. How could I have kissed Adam like that? Didn’t Kris and Ryan mean anything to me? Was I really that shallow? Or was my stepmother right all those times she’d said that hormones would tell us anything, make us believe something was true when it was fake?

  Maybe I just didn’t know what love was? It wasn’t like I’d experienced an overabundance of it in my life. But, if I thought back hard enough, what I felt with Kris, with Ryan, and possibly with Adam, reminded me of how my father and real mother used to act and look. But then again, it wasn’t as if they were still together. So maybe they weren’t the best example.

  Or maybe they were… Maybe what they had wasn’t lasting and that meant what I had with Kris, with Ryan wasn’t lasting either? Maybe it was all hormones.

  I rolled over and punched my pillow. Crap. I didn’t want my stepmother to be right. I wanted the fairy tale. The one where they kissed and lived happily ever after. The end.

  Could Adam be that guy? How would I even know?

  My door clicked open. A shaft of light brightened my room momentarily before a shadow blocked it. And then the door shut. Soft footsteps creaked across the floor to my bed which sank slightly under the weight of Adam’s body. The scent of spicy citrus, which I’d learned was bergamot and pepper, surrounded me.

  “I didn’t wake you, did I?” He kept his voice to a whisper as he slid under the covers.

  “No. I was already awake.”

  “Can’t sleep?” He slid his arm under my neck while his other one wrapped around my waist and pulled me against his chest. He’d changed out of his dress shirt and pants. The feel of smooth cotton—most likely scrubs—brushed against the skin left uncovered by my pajamas. He’d also lost his white doctor’s coat along the way since I hadn’t heard or seen him remove it.

  I snuggled in. His body warming mine. “Too many things on my mind,” I replied honestly. In the dark, with his chest against my back, it was easier to speak the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Even then, I still guarded the words I spoke. But I wanted that to change. I wanted to reveal all.

  “Like?” His breath fluttered against the back of my neck, sending shivers throughout my body.

  “Like love. What it is? How you know what it feels like, especially if you’ve never really experienced it before?”

  His breath stopped. I could feel his heart race against my back. His arm tightened around me. And I wondered if I’d gone too far. Scared him off with my questions.

  I started to open my mouth to make light of my questions, but his voice stopped me. “Those are all good questions. My parents love me unconditionally. They’ve sacrificed so much for me to get here. To excel in my studies, but they never pushed. They were a support system, allowing me to grow and develop at my own pace. Th
ey did the same with my brother, Stephen. We’re very different, but they supported us the same. We always knew we could go to them about anything, talk about anything. There was never any fear. I think that is what love is.”

  His words were like a punch to the gut. They hit deep and left me breathless. What he described was something I was very familiar with. Something I knew intimately. I’d just never fully realized it before.

  I was loved!

  Sure my Aunt Susan had said it. But it hadn’t really meant anything to me. It was just something that was said between family members. But she did love me. And I her.

  But she wasn’t the only one. While Kris and Ryan may have never said the words, I knew they loved me. Even if things had gone sideways and we weren’t together anymore, they loved me. It just may not have been the type to make a romance last, but then we were young anyways. Maybe that type of love couldn’t happen at this age. Or maybe it was all made up by the romance industry or fairy tales.

  I loved.

  The feelings I had for Aunt Susan, for Kris, for Ryan, for Ryan’s family, they all matched the description Adam gave. I did know how to love. It wasn’t something missing from my character. A flaw in my DNA from my messed up parents. The reassurance of that message—that I was normal—brought a smile to my face.

  “Kayla?”

  I squirmed on the bed until I was turned toward Adam. My nose against his chest. “I’m loved.” I whispered into the dark and into his chest.

  He arms tightened their hold on me. “You certainly are. Anyone who meets you can’t help but to love you. And you show the most amazing amount of love to those around you.”

  His hand stroked comforting shapes on my back, and I relaxed into him. What I didn’t tell him, but I carried in my heart, was that I loved him, too. It may not have been the romantic fairy tale love portrayed in books, or maybe it was since the jury was still out on that idea, but it was the same love type feeling I had for the others.

  I could feel his lips on the top of my head before his chin came to rest there and his breathing slowed. His strong body pressed up against mine started the flutters deep within me.

  Yup.

  There was a healthy dose of lust there as well.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “Kayla. We’d like to try something new with Chloe today, if you’re willing?”

  I stared up at her attending doctor. While it wasn’t out of the norm for them to put this question to me during rounds, usually Adam discussed the ideas with me first. It gave them a chance to explain all the details to me and gave me a chance to digest the information so I could ask informed questions.

  But this hadn’t happened. His question came out of the blue. My eyes traveled from staff member to staff member, landing last—on purpose—on Adam, hoping someone would shed a light.

  “Um. What is it? I’m, uh, usually willing.”

  The attending doctor pulled over the straight back chair and sat down in front of me. His hand landed on mine in a comforting fatherly way. “Chloe has been making remarkable progress, but with her unwillingness to suck on any of the soothers, we’ve been unable to try to teach her how to drink from a bottle. Normally, this wouldn’t be an issue, because the mother would have already had discussions about breastfeeding and would have been pumping their milk since the baby was born. Then, when we wanted to introduce feeding, we would naturally start with breastfeeding. But that isn’t the case with Chloe.”

  He stopped and waited, giving me a few seconds to reflect on the information he’d given. I’d wondered when Chloe would begin to drink from a bottle, considering how long she’d been in the NICU. She was thirty-six, almost thirty-seven weeks on the gestation scale, and I’d talked with some of the other parents, finding out that their children were already breastfeeding at younger ages. With the tube still in her nose to feed her, I knew she couldn’t go home, even if she was ready.

  “Uh, huh.” I snuck a glance at Adam to see if he knew where his mentor was going with this talk, but Adam only offered up a small hesitant smile.

  “Well, since bottle feeding is out. And so is breastfeeding. We wondered if you would be okay with trying a supplemental feeding system.” He dropped his eyes to Chloe who was latched onto my nipple and sucking like there was no tomorrow. “Chloe seems to want to breastfeed and she is ready to try to start feeding. The supplemental system will mimic breastfeeding by having her latch on to your breast like she does now, but we would tape a small tube to your breast where donated breast milk would flow into Chloe’s mouth every time she sucked. Would that be agreeable to you?”

  My eyes dropped to Chloe. There was no real choice in the matter. She needed to learn how to feed, and if this was the only way, then I would do it. “Of course. I want to do anything to help.”

  “I know you do.” The doctor gently lifted my hand and turned it until it rested on his. His large warm fingers cradled it gently, lending me support. “There is the possibility of a major side effect to you that you need to be aware of. While she’s been dry breastfeeding on you for weeks, she may have been stimulating your body to produce its own milk. Normally, we use hormones and other medications in conjunction with dry feeding to induce lactation, but sometimes only the feeding is necessary. Sometimes, even with using all of it, we can’t induce lactation.”

  This wasn’t completely new information. The nurse had mentioned it to me, but I hadn’t worried. Chloe needed me more than some remote, extremely rare complication. And when it didn’t happen after the first week, I put it out of my mind.

  “We don’t know if using the supplemental system will have any bearing on you, but it will mean that Chloe is on your breasts for a few more weeks, increasing the risk of you developing a milk supply.”

  Say what? But it hasn’t happened so that’s a good thing right? Doesn’t that decrease the risk?

  Seeing the confused look on my face, Adam stepped toward me and placed his hand on my shoulder. “Inducing lactation takes time, a lot of time. It often takes from weeks to months before any results are seen.”

  “Exactly. Dr. Johnson is correct, my dear. You haven’t felt any signs or had any symptoms have you?”

  My eyebrows decided to hide under my new bangs. Signs? Symptoms? How would I know? “Um, I’m not sure.”

  The attending doctor patted the top of my hand with his other one, sandwiching it between his hands. “Have your breasts grown larger? Do they feel fuller or achy?”

  I bit my bottom lip. How was I supposed to answer these personal questions in front of everyone? The problem was, I was feeling both those things. I’d been surprised when I purchased the new clothes to discover that I’d increased in my cup size. But then I’d increased in my clothing size by one. I figured the change was due to the fact I was eating better, not the portion controlled sizes and low fat stuff fed to me by my stepmother. I always put on a pound or two when I stayed at Aunt Susan’s for this reason.

  But what if it wasn’t that? What if I had started to produce milk? My breasts did feel fuller, but maybe I was due my period. I didn’t know. Days and weeks tended to run together in the hospital. It didn’t help that my period was still a little irregular.

  “Maybe.” I shrugged my shoulders.

  He smiled at me. It was something I’d envision a grandfather giving to their grandchild who’d just won an award. I didn’t understand it, but I didn’t get a chance to question it before he continued. “Good to know. So, if you’re agreeable, we can start today.” He raised one eyebrow. How does he do that? Is it a gene that all males get?

  Despite my envy of his eyebrow ability, I nodded. What other choice did I have?

  “Good. Good.” He patted my hand and stood. “This afternoon we’ll give it our first shot.” He slid his hands into the pockets on his white doctor’s coat. “Next patient.”

  The group walked away, but Adam lingered. “You’ll do fine, love. Everything will work out.” His head swiveled, ensuring we were somewhat alone before
bending down and planting his lips on mine. It was quick, but just as claiming and thorough as his first kiss. We’d kissed a lot over the weeks since that first—really our second one—and they never grew old.

  Pulling back, he smiled. “Have to run, but I just couldn’t go on any longer without a taste.”

  “Dr. Johnson, are you coming?” The attending doctor’s voice almost boomed within the relatively quiet of the NICU, but there was no hiding the restrained chuckle it contained.

  “Really have to run.” He dropped a kiss on to my nose and fled down the hall. But not without tossing me a naughty wink over his shoulder, bringing a smile to my lips and a shake of my head.

  That afternoon, Adam, Chloe’s nurse, and a few nursing students and interns surrounded my recliner. The nurse explained to each one of us what each piece of equipment was for and how it would be attached. I listened as attentively as the other students.

  Adam pulled up the chair and sat to my side, facing me. Leaning over the arm on the chair, he drew my focus away from the group. “Forget about them. It’s just me and you. Like always.”

  I released a breath I didn’t know I was holding and attempted to smile. It wobbled, but worked enough for Adam to return it.

  “I’m going to tape the tube to your breast. One piece will be by your nipple and then the rest will be further back.”

  I nodded. I could do this. All I had to do was to keep my focus on Adam—not a hard thing to do—and I would be fine. It doesn’t matter if they watch. They need to learn. Yeah, right. It matters, but Adam is correct. It’s him and me.

  With shaking fingers, I pulled down the side of my gown, revealing my bare breast to the world. Oh my gosh! I don’t know if I can do this. They’re all staring. My gaze dropped to my lap. I bit my lip. Hard. The coppery task of blood trailed over my taste buds. I could feel my pulse pounding, and then…