The Scent of Love

by Platt, Meara

  He placed a hand lightly on her elbow to calm her. “I’ll get it. Wait here. The audience is applauding, so I think the lecture is about to end. Find Honey and Violet. Stay with them until I return.”

  She looked so unhappy, he couldn’t bear it. This was his fault. He’d taken the reticule from her hands and stuck it on a shelf. What had he been thinking to take her into that old library? And for what? To steal a kiss she wasn’t ready to accept?

  He found the reticule where he’d left it. “Thank goodness,” he muttered, checking to make certain the book was still in there. To his relief, it was.

  He tucked it under his arm and strode out, only to bump into the Earl of Wycke. The earl was just as surprised to see him but cast him a wry grin. “Brayden, I hadn’t expected to see you outside your office at this hour.” He glanced at the reticule tucked under his arm. “I gather that isn’t yours.”

  “No, just retrieving it for a friend.”

  Wycke arched an eyebrow. “Does this friend of yours happen to be a Farthingale?”

  He ignored the question. “Good to see you, Wycke. Thank you for handling Lord Crompton the other night.”

  “The oaf was out of line. Ah, but I see you have been spending time with the Farthingales. They’re coming this way.”

  Finn followed Wycke’s gaze to the one dark head and the two golden heads bobbing through the crowd toward them.

  Apparently, Violet knew Lord Wycke. She greeted him warmly and explained their acquaintance to the rest of them. He and his family had been guests at Sherbourne Manor. Violet’s sister, Poppy, was married to Nathaniel Sherbourne, the Earl of Welles.

  She introduced her cousins to Wycke and then asked after his family. “Ann is deliriously happy,” he replied. “She and Malcolm will be coming to town in October. I’m looking forward to it. My mother now has a companion to assist her, but it isn’t the same. She misses Ann terribly.”

  Violet nodded solemnly. “I have been remiss. Would you mind if I paid a call on her? Is tomorrow too soon?”

  Wycke chuckled. “Not soon enough. Visit any time you wish. As often as you wish. Your cousins are welcome to accompany you. She could do with some merriment. Seeing your cheerful faces would be just the thing.”

  They agreed to visit Lady Wycke at noon tomorrow.

  Finn said nothing, merely watched as Wycke strode out of the building. The rain had tapered to a drizzle, more of a sun shower now, for the clouds were breaking up, and large patches of blue were visible in the sky. “I suppose this rules out our meeting tomorrow,” he said to Belle.

  Violet was the one to respond. “Not at all. We’ll stay no more than an hour with Lady Wycke. Belle will meet you here as usual.”

  Belle did not appear happy about it but did not contradict her cousin.

  That’s all Finn cared about, to see her again, to touch her again and allow her laughter to warm his soul. Gad, he was mindless over this girl. “Tomorrow it is.”

  He was about to hand the book to Belle, but she shook her head. “Keep it. Bring it with you when I see you next.”

  He eyed her curiously. “Belle, there’s no magic within its pages. It hasn’t cast a spell over either of us. Foisting it off on me won’t change anything.”

  Even if there was a spell to break, how would putting the book in his hands help? He wasn’t going to suddenly fall in love with some duke’s vapid daughter. But he liked the idea of reading it on his own, for reading with Belle was not working out at all. He would finish the book this evening in the quiet of his bedchamber.

  He hoped it would answer the question burning in his mind: How do I make Belle fall in love with herself?

  Chapter Six

  Finn stopped at White’s for a drink with his brother before heading home. He was eager to read the book, but he also wanted Tynan’s opinion on this matter of love. Tynan was happily married, but his courtship of Abigail had not been easy due to her difficult family circumstances.

  He hoped to gain some insight into breaking through the wall of doubt Belle had built around herself. “Tynan, thank you for meeting me here.”

  “I’m always available for you, little brother.” He gave Finn a hearty clap on the back and laughed, for Finn was the tallest of the Braydens, and Tynan’s referring to him as his little brother was purposely provoking and irksome, but in a loving way.

  “You know I can kick your sorry arse, Ty.”

  “But you won’t because you adore and admire me.” He then motioned toward a quiet corner of the club’s main room. “Let’s sit over there. No one will disturb us.”

  The wood-paneled chamber was filled with comfortably padded wing chairs and small tables between them where one could set down a drink or newspaper. The carpeting was thick and absorbed most of the sound in the room.

  Tynan ordered the steward to bring a brandy for each of them and waited for the man to leave before leaning forward to begin their private conversation. “You don’t look happy, Finn. What’s wrong?”

  Finn stared into his brandy, saying nothing for a long while. Since he was not particularly thirsty, he merely swirled the glass in his hand, watching the dark amber liquid catch the firelight and shimmer within the finely cut crystal. “I’m not good at this courtship business.”

  Tynan arched an eyebrow. “What makes you think I was any more adept at it than you?”

  “Abigail married you, so you must have done something right.”

  Tynan shook his head and chuckled, but after a moment, he turned serious. “It was purely accidental. I had no clue what I was doing. It took me a while to even realize I was courting her. At first, she was merely a distraction from my boredom. Well, that doesn’t sound quite right. I was looking for something more in life. To be of use to someone other than myself. When I saw her, I knew she was my purpose. I wanted to protect her from her family troubles.”

  Tynan paused to take a sip of his drink before continuing. “Abby’s family life was dismal. Even so, she refused my help. I liked that strength in her. But it only made me more determined to see her through her troubles. I stopped by every day, at first because I wanted to keep a protective eye on her. Then I stopped by every day because I felt a part of me was missing when I did not see her.”

  Finn sat back and listened.

  It took him a moment to digest what his brother had said about Abby being a missing part of him. Yes, this is how he was coming to feel about Belle. It had started from the moment he’d touched his lips to hers to breathe life back into her body. He’d been trying to save her life back then, but with each breath he forced into her lungs and each press of his hand to her chest, it was as though he was claiming a piece of her heart and tucking it away in his.

  He’d purposely avoided her for three months because he felt so out of control whenever he saw her. Yet, he’d quietly looked for her at every ball, every musicale, and every ton party. He’d needed that glimpse of her and felt out of joint when she failed to attend a particular affair.

  He dared not mention this to Tynan. He trusted his brother, of course. But men did not discuss their feelings. He wasn’t looking for commiseration. He was trying to understand logically why the mere sight of Belle turned him upside down. He was interested in the mechanics of love, curious how to recognize it, build on it. He knew it was not the same as building a catapult or breaking it down by every beam and bolt.

  He was also trying to understand why he’d avoided the pleasures of other women ever since meeting Belle. The entire first chapter in The Book of Love explained why males were guided by their low brain instincts to mate with as many fertile females as possible. Yet, he’d known within moments that he wanted no one but Belle.

  Why?

  Perhaps the explanation was as Tynan had just said. Belle was that missing part of him. How was he to convince her of it? “She is pushing me away. She’s afraid to fall in love with me.”

  His brother frowned. “Then it’s serious between the two of you.”

  Finn gru
nted. “For my part, yes…I think so.”

  Tynan’s frown deepened. “You have to be sure, Finn. She isn’t a toy you can toss in a box and forget about once you’re through playing. You have to know you love her, have to feel it deep in your soul. Abby was fragile when I met her. I could have broken her so easily. It seems Belle is the same way. I knew Abby was right for me. My lack of doubt helped ease her doubts.”

  Finn absorbed what his brother was saying.

  Tynan set down his drink and leaned forward again. “It may be that Belle is sensing your uncertainty, not hers.”

  “Perhaps.” Finn ran a hand through his hair in consternation. Had he been casting blame on Belle when the fault was with him? He knew she was someone special, but was he truly ready for that lifetime commitment?

  “Ah, but you’re the logical brother.” Tynan was now smirking at him. “You need to think everything through, study the viability of a venture from every angle.”

  “What’s wrong with that? I’ve been successful at it.”

  “Love is not a business transaction. Marriages can be made for business reasons and commonly are, but love is factored out of the equation in such cases. If you feel the need to set down reasons for and reasons against loving Belle, then you’re not ready. Love is complicated. Think of it as stars aligning in the sky. You both need to be ready to accept each other, to pledge your fealty to each other.”

  “I think Belle wants it, but she fears it. Even if she trusted me, she’d still doubt.”

  Tynan sighed. “I’ve been through it. Abby was afraid she’d disappoint me. She was certain I would come to my senses and want out of the marriage. I had to convince her it wouldn’t ever happen.”

  “How?”

  “I don’t know, but as you mentioned, it starts with trust. Once you trust in your feelings, she’ll start to trust in them, too. There’s more to a successful marriage. But you’re my little brother and have delicate ears.”

  “Blessed saints, Ty. Enough already.” But he shook his head and laughed because he wasn’t really irritated. “I’ve been bigger than you since I turned sixteen. Tell me everything you know about the elements of love. I need information.”

  “Love isn’t merely about physical attraction, although Abby and I…” He cleared his throat and grinned smugly.

  Finn groaned. “Shut up. I don’t need that much detail. Certainly not about your antics in the marital bedchamber.”

  “Marriage has to be built on mutual respect, shared goals, and friendship. But there also must be intimacy, so the physical contact cannot be overlooked. It enhances everything.”

  Finn nodded. Didn’t he desire intimacy with Belle? He wanted to wrap her in his arms, wanted to share his bed with her, and explore her delectable body. He also wanted to confide in her, share a life with her. He set down his brandy and rose. “Thank you, Ty. This has been helpful.”

  His brother rose along with him. “You know you can always turn to me.”

  Finn nodded. “I know.”

  He returned home and went straight to his bedchamber. His mother was hosting a small dinner party. He had no intention of joining her and her friends for an insipid evening of polite conversation, although his mother was not quite the model of discretion. She could be fiery when indignant. Hell hath no fury like Lady Miranda on a crusade. Joshua and Ronan would attend. Their presence would ensure he would not be missed.

  Finn undressed and fell into bed with Belle’s book in hand. Before he knew it, he was absorbed in reading. In truth, each chapter opened his eyes to what he had been missing…or rather, what he had been overlooking because of preconceived notions of what things ought to be. The chapters on the senses were interesting, but it was the discussion on how one built bonds of commitment that he found fascinating. Shared values. Shared goals. Compatible behaviors.

  This is what Ty had been talking about, and it struck him as quite fascinating.

  He hadn’t given thought to “taking a wife” beyond knowing that someday he would marry. But who? And why? What was it about Belle that appealed to him beyond her looks, which were enhanced or dismissed depending on his senses? Sight, touch, and so on.

  Even if everything about Belle pleased his senses, there was more to consider. The ton was rife with gossip about Lord M’s excessive drinking. Lord P’s excessive gambling. Lady B’s string of lovers. But what of unhappy couples whose behavior was not excessive, but merely incompatible? There were just as many of those. A lord who preferred country life to that of town, while his wife found herself bored to tears in the country and yearned for escape to London. Or the other way around. Or a frugal man with a wife who loved to spend. Or a man whose spending needed to be reined in?

  There were so many little things that could undermine the initial attraction. A man with no sense of humor, who never laughed, married to a woman who appreciated a good laugh. Or a prankster who irritatingly never stopped joking around.

  The more Finn read on, the more he realized just how fragile happiness could be and how easily one could face disillusionment. Yet, despite all, there were many happy marriages. As far as he could tell, they were still in the majority, even among arranged marriages. Perhaps it had to do with expectations. When entering an arranged marriage, one did not expect to fall wildly in love with one’s spouse. One merely hoped to get along, to not find the spouse too repulsive to tolerate. They went from fearing the worst to appreciating their good fortune in finding a mate they could rely on to build a life and family.

  Developing that intimacy was important. But sex and love were not the same thing. He knew where to go when in need of sex. He hadn’t been to those places since meeting Belle. He didn’t fully understand why he’d suddenly turned into a monk.

  He still had urges, but they were subtly different now.

  Meeting Belle had changed him.

  He wanted sex and intimacy.

  More important, he wanted them only from her.

  It was well into the wee hours of the morning by the time he finished reading the book. His mind was racing, so he had trouble falling asleep. The next thing he knew, Ronan was pounding on his door. “Finn, aren’t you up yet? Come on. The carriage is ready. Move your arse, or you’re going to make me late.”

  Bollocks.

  “Give me twenty minutes,” he said with a groan, barely able to raise his head. Indeed, it was all he could do to crawl out of bed.

  This was unlike him. He usually rose early, got himself ready, managing to shave, wash, and dress without the assistance of a valet, which is why he, Ronan, and Joshua shared one valet among the three of them. Fortunately, Harrigan entered right behind Ronan, ready to help him prepare for the day.

  Harrigan had been a sergeant in his cousin James’s regiment, which explained why he was now barking orders at Finn. The man was gruff and no-nonsense, not at all what one would expect of a valet, but his mother had taken to him at once, and there was no contradicting Lady Miranda once she had her mind made up. “My boys are little better than animals,” she’d told Harrigan when engaging his services. “Do what you must to keep them in line.”

  Despite his gruff exterior, Harrigan had a soft heart. Most of the time, he was more of a mother hen than a drill sergeant. But he was efficient. Finn, who had yet to fully open his eyes, found himself properly groomed and attired, ready to meet the day within said twenty minutes.

  He started to march downstairs when he remembered the book.

  He did not wish to tote it around with him all day, so he handed it to a footman with instructions to deliver it to Belle. “Number 3 Chipping Way. Make certain it is given directly into Miss Belle Farthingale’s hands.”

  “I’ll take care of it at once,” the man assured.

  Finn nodded his thanks and strode outside to climb into the waiting carriage. As he hopped in, he noticed Ronan’s belongings being packed atop it. “Are you going somewhere?”

  His brother grunted. “Where’s your mind been lately? I’m headed to Penr
ith. One of mother’s friends is having some difficulty managing her farm. It’s a pretty patch of land in the Lake District, so I’m told. Mother is convinced someone is purposely trying to ruin her friend and chase her off the land.”

  “Oh, right. She’s been going on about it all week. Why send you now? I wanted you to come with me to Oxford.”

  “Belle’s house party? Sorry, Finn. I can’t. Besides, those beautiful Farthingales are more dangerous than any rogues I may encounter. I’d like to remain a bachelor for several more years. Not in any hurry to shackle myself.” Ronan shook his head. “Joshua will accompany you. Not that I’m adverse to meeting beautiful young ladies, but you know how it is. Mother grabbed me at supper last night. Joshua, the coward, kept his head bowed low and refused to meet her gaze.”

  Finn laughed. “You should have done the same.”

  “She was going to choose one of us for the task, no matter what we said or did. An irate Miranda is a tempest that cannot be avoided or ignored. So, it was Joshua or me, since you were hiding in your bedchamber. She’s been insufferable lately, going on about her poor friend. I knew it was going to be me she chose.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I opened my big mouth. I told her to go up there herself if she was that incensed.”

  Finn laughed. “Do you have a death wish?”

  “I guess I do. After she clubbed me over the head with her fan, she realized it wasn’t such a bad idea to send reinforcements to her friend. I’m heading up there as soon as I drop you off at your office. You’ll have to make your own way home.”

  “I’m a big boy. I’ll manage.” Finn shook his head and laughed again. “Good luck, Ronan.” But he tempered his laughter with some sober words of caution. “Will you take a Bow Street runner or two up with you? If Mother’s right and there is someone trying to swindle her friend, then you might be in danger.”

  He nodded. “I’ll nose about quietly on this trip. If there’s trouble, I’ll send word. What about you? Why a house party in Oxford? I never knew you to accept those invitations before. Is it Belle Farthingale? How serious are you about her?”