by Sam Crescent
“Neither am I,” Ryan said. “I’m the one who has been here for whenever Rachel’s needed me. Something she needed fixing, I’m there. Taking her to the doctor’s when she was sick, that was me. You think you can push me aside. I’ll wait for Rachel to decide what is good for her.”
“She already knows what is good for her, and it’s me. You think you’ve got a shot of winning my wife’s love, I’d love to see it. We’ve been together five years, and I don’t see her leaving me anytime soon.” He tried to forget about the tiny detail of her giving him divorce papers. It didn’t count.
She wasn’t thinking straight, but now, he was going to fight for her, and no other man stood a chance against him.
****
Miss Bernard was a sweetheart, and also really nervous.
Rachel didn’t like putting pins into the bodice as the girl was vibrating, either with excitement or nerves. The somewhat hysterical giggles made her believe it was nerves. She didn’t know though. She was no real expert.
“I’m so sorry,” Miss Bernard said.
“It’s okay. I don’t want to hurt you. It’ll just take a little longer.”
“Were you nervous like me when you had your dress fitted?”
“No, I wasn’t.” She had put on the wedding band this morning to appease Wolfe, and to also hope it would mean he’d leave sooner rather than later. There was no reason to lie to the woman. When she married Wolfe, she had no idea of what was to come. “I loved my husband too much.”
“I love Michael. He’s everything to me and so much more. He makes me laugh and smile, and laugh some more. He is always so funny, and I just can’t get enough of him. I want to marry him.” Miss Bernard held her hands up and groaned. “I don’t understand why I’m so worried though. I mean, look at me.” Her hands were shaking. “I want to marry him.”
Rachel stood up from the floor and took the woman’s hands. She was young, so young, like she had been.
You’re only twenty-five.
Why did she suddenly feel so much older than her years? She stroked her thumb across the giant diamond on her hand.
“It’s fine to be nervous. The wedding is only in a couple of weeks, and I bet you have so much to do.”
“I do. I can’t believe I said I’d do this without anyone’s help. I’ve got my parents, but they’re always waiting for instructions from me. I just can’t handle it. The dress isn’t even ready, and I know that’s my fault. I canceled on you a couple of times, so it’s on me.”
“I don’t mind.”
“But I do. I wanted this dress to be the last of my problems. Now I’m shaking, and I know you’re worried about sticking a pin in me.”
“How about we take a break?” Rachel asked.
“Tell me about your wedding. What was it like?”
“My wedding?”
“Yes. Whenever I talk about mine, I see this look in your eye, and I know you’re already married. You told me.” Miss Bernard sat down beside her.
They were in the haberdashery, but in the tailoring section. She usually helped to turn up long sleeves or legs, or do the occasional mending. She’d sewn on many buttons and repaired quite a few holes in the last few years.
She’d learned to sew years ago as a kid. Her grandmother and mother had taught her. She found it helped to relax her.
“My parents and my husband helped to arrange everything. I fell in love so easily and so hard.” She couldn’t deny her feelings for Wolfe. It was one of the reasons it made it so hard having him around the house all the time. Those feelings hadn’t died for her. They were still very much present. “All I had to really do was tell them what I wanted and it would be there, and ready. I had to get the perfect dress. So often, people think we overreact to little things. The perfect dress, the right cake, the flower arrangements. We’re going to be with the man for the rest of our lives, so why can’t we have everything perfect?”
“I totally understand. A couple of my girlfriends have told me to have a backup dress in case this doesn’t work, but I don’t want a backup dress. I saw your design in the sketches, and I knew this is what I wanted.”
“I appreciate it, Chloe,” she said. She rarely thought of Miss Bernard by the name Chloe.
“How was the day? The big day.”
“It was the most amazing day of my life.” She couldn’t deny that. She’d never been so happy in all of her life.
“It really was,” Wolfe said, startling the both of them.
She looked up to see him holding a brown paper bag.
“Wolfe,” she said, standing up. She brushed down the creases in her trousers and looked at him. “What are you doing here?”
“I thought I’d bring you some food. You look like you could do with a break.”
“You’re Wolfe?” Miss Bernard asked.
“I certainly am. This woman’s husband. A pleasure to meet you.” He held his hand out to the woman.
Rachel didn’t feel comfortable by the sudden strike of jealousy that hit her from him merely being nice to the woman.
Get a grip, Rachel. She’s a client.
She stepped away from them only to have Wolfe snag her around the waist. “It was the greatest day of my life watching this woman walk down the aisle toward me.”
“You had no doubts?” Miss Bernard asked.
“None. I knew when I put the ring on her finger, she’d belong to me and no one would ever be able to take her away from me.” Was he trying to give her another hint of no divorce?
“You both look so sweet together.”
“Thank you,” Rachel said. “If you love your man, then it won’t matter what you look like coming toward him. He will love you, and just be happy you arrived.”
Miss Bernard laughed. She clapped her hands. “Can we have a break? I really need to go and see him, right now.” She was already rushing off to the small dressing room.
“Of course. I’ll wait for you.”
Within minutes, the dress was off, hung up, Miss Bernard was changed, and out of the room.
Taking a seat on the steps, Rachel rubbed at her eyes.
Wolfe sat beside her. “I brought you lunch.”
“Did Benjamin get to school okay?”
“Of course. I even got to read with him. It was really good.”
She glanced at him, wondering if he was joking around or meant it.
“Our wedding was the best day of your life?” he asked.
She opened up the brown paper bag to see a sandwich waiting for her. She didn’t care what it was, she was so hungry.
“Yes. You know that. It’s everything afterward I can’t stand to think about.”
“The wedding night?”
“After that,” she said, feeling her cheeks heat.
She’d been as nervous as Miss Bernard for her wedding night. To have a man finally make love to her, she’d felt a little sick with anticipation and apprehension.
“I didn’t mean for you to hear any of it.”
“It doesn’t matter what you meant for me to hear. I did, and I’m glad.”
“Really? You see when I think about it, I would have been able to be part of Benjamin’s life a whole lot more if you hadn’t.”
“You would have gotten a doormat. I didn’t get my happy ending the way I wanted it, but I wouldn’t trade the life I decided to have for the world. I love my son, where I live, and my job. My mom always said I’d find my happy when I settled down and stopped looking for it. I did it.” She’d always been looking for her happiness. For a short time, she’d believed Wolfe would be hers.
“I didn’t want a doormat, regardless of what you think.”
“It doesn’t matter now. Our life changed.” She shrugged.
“I felt how hot you were for me, Rachel. We could have that again.”
She took a bite of her sandwich. “Sex and attraction don’t make for a happy marriage.”
“And you think that girl is going to find hers? There’s no way I’d marry someon
e who made me feel that way.”
“You weren’t nervous about marrying me? You didn’t love me. Like you said, I was the easiest target out of all of my sisters. You couldn’t stand Mary.”
“I still can’t stand Mary. She doesn’t count.”
“Then there’s Alice.”
“Again, not the best example.”
“So it left me for you to get what you want,” she said. “Easiest target. You don’t get to judge other women on their nerves, or compare them to your feelings. You had your own agenda.”
“Do you really think I couldn’t have taken Mary and Alice, either of them, both of them, if I wanted to?”
“I’m not even going to try to think about you with my sisters.” She stood up.
“I saw a picture of you, and it didn’t do you justice. Your long, blonde hair and blue eyes mesmerized me.” He chuckled. “I saw you before I even bumped into you, Rachel. It’s when I knew I’d marry you. You’re more stunning in person than any picture could capture. It doesn’t show your pretty smile, or the love shining in your gaze. There’s no way anyone could ever know what you’re thinking about or feeling. I can see it, though. All I’ve got to do is look at you closely.”
His words.
They touched her deeply, but again, she couldn’t allow herself to believe them.
“I’ve got work to do.”
Turning on her heel, she left him alone.
Now her hands were shaking.
Chapter Eight
The days passed slowly, but for Wolfe, he wasn’t giving up. Rachel made any excuse not to spend time with him, from work, to visiting someone in town, to even more work, or going to the school.
When it came to the school, at least he could be with her. There was no reason for her to be alone, not anymore. Then of course at night, she spent a great deal of time with their son, until he heard Benjamin telling her he needed to sleep.
She’d been reading to him for two hours. It was a little after ten.
Leaning against the opposite wall, arms folded, he waited as Rachel left their son’s bedroom.
It was Friday night, no school tomorrow, which was why Benjamin got to stay up.
“I’ve made us a drink,” he said. “It’s downstairs.”
“I was going to go to bed. I’m tired.”
“You’re a coward, Rachel. You’re too worried you’ll fall into bed with me, is that it?” he asked.
“Not at all. I’ve got no feelings for you whatsoever.”
He chuckled. “You’re an awful liar.”
“I know.” She slapped a hand across her mouth. “I wasn’t lying.”
“We shall see, won’t we? Amuse me. Come and sit with me. It’s still early.”
“It has been a long week,” she said. “I’ve got to head out tomorrow, shopping for the potluck. Our fridge is bare.”
“I can do that,” he said.
“You go out and shop for ordinary groceries? Don’t you have someone to do the job for you back in the city?”
“I have someone to do everything for me. It makes my life easier.”
“See?” she said. “I can do it. It’s not a problem. Honestly, this is not my first potluck.”
He put his hands on her shoulders and moved her away from the kitchen and into the sitting room. He’d already lit some candles to relieve the tension in the room. The lights were lowered, and he tried to create the perfect ambiance for their evening. He didn’t expect sex or her to give into him. No, this was for them both to just be able to sit, relax, and enjoy.
All he’d been wanting to do since he got here was enjoy her company like he used to. They would sit for hours before their wedding day, talking, laughing. He did miss their time together, more than he cared to admit.
She always made him laugh, and her own was infectious. He couldn’t get enough of her. Five years was a long time to go without being with her. He didn’t even realize how much he’d missed her until recently.
Grabbing their hot chocolates, which he’d made perfectly now, he joined her, sitting beside her, close but not too much, to give her space, and for her to not feel like he was invading it.
She took a sip of the hot chocolate and let out a moan. “Perfect. You learned how to make it.”
“I’ve been working on it all week so I could show off to you.”
She chuckled. “This is nice.”
“It is. Besides the potluck prep tomorrow, what else are you doing?”
“Nothing else. Benjamin’s home tomorrow. He usually helps me in the kitchen so I’m not running behind.”
“We made a really good son.”
“The best,” she said. “He’s the one good part of the two of us.”
“I don’t think he’s the only good we’ve got together.”
“We can’t be in the same room with each other for longer than a few minutes without one of us going crazy at the other.”
He shrugged. “If you really think about it, we’ve never really tried.”
“What do you mean?”
“This is the first time we’ve sat down. You’re not angry at me. I’m not trying to prove you wrong or force you to stay with me. We’re just two people, enjoying time.” He took a sip of his chocolate. “And you’re right. I totally did rock this chocolate.”
“I didn’t say rock,” she said, laughing again.
“I missed this.”
“This?”
“You and me, talking, being together. We used to do this all the time.”
“I’m sure you’ve had a lot more interesting things to do than think about our conversations. We never really talked about anything deep and meaningful.”
“They meant something to me. We always talked about our plans for the future. How we wanted a big family.”
“I talked the most,” she said. “I recall mentioning the whole big family with a dozen kids.”
“Don’t you want that still?” he asked.
“What I want doesn’t matter. Wants and desires change all the time. I know I’ve changed.”
He couldn’t resist reaching out to stroke a curl behind her cheek. Rather than linger, he pulled back and drank his hot chocolate.
“If you were given the chance of having a dozen kids, of being able to fill this house, way too much with boys and girls, would you take it?” he asked.
“I can’t answer that,” she said.
“Why not? It’s a simple enough question.”
“Fine. If I was to adopt, then yes, I could see it happening.”
“Wait, why would it have to be adoption?” he asked.
“I only ever saw myself having a dozen kids with the guy I was crazy about. My life has changed.”
“You’re not crazy about me anymore? I mean seriously, no joking around.”
“Does it matter what I feel?” she asked.
“I can give you what you want.”
“No, you can’t.” She didn’t make a move to leave even as her voice got a little angrier. “We’ve changed, Wolfe. We’re not the same people.”
“You’re telling me when I do this, you don’t feel anything?” He cupped her cheek, stroking his thumb across her plump lips. They were so kissable and tempting. He’d thought about them many times wrapped around his cock as he pumped into her mouth.
“Wolfe?”
Slowly, he stroked a finger down her neck. “I’m not trying to prove anything here. I’m not hoping to win some battle. I’m merely seeing what it is you don’t feel for me. Not anyone else, but for me.” He grazed past her nipple, going down to her thigh. He didn’t touch her pussy. He took her hand this time and placed it on his chest. “I feel everything.”
“You’re lying.”
“No, I’m not. I crave your touch, Rachel. I have for a long time. Even longer than you realize.” He held her hand, palm up, pressing his lips against the center and kissing her. “You think these five years have been easy for me? They haven’t.”
“I’m sure, with all of
your women begging you for attention. You could have your pick, and I’ve seen you in pictures. You haven’t been lonely.”
“I haven’t fucked a single one of those women,” he said, admitting the truth.
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not. I speak the truth. No woman has been in my bed but you. You’re the only one I want.”
“You expect me to believe for the past five years you haven’t been with another woman. You haven’t … done anything?”
“I’ve done a whole lot of things, Rachel, only with my hand and thinking about you while I have.” He reached out, touching her. “I’m telling you the truth.”
“But you were going to have affairs.”
“I was lying. I’m not saying there haven’t been offers since you left. There have. No one has appealed to me. There’s only one woman I want, and that’s you.”
“I don’t know if I can believe you.”
“I don’t care if you want to believe me or not. It’s the truth. There never seemed a right time for us to bridge this gap, and for that, I am sorry. I shouldn’t have waited five years. Between you hearing my bullshit conversation and hiding the truth, then Benjamin, there never seemed a good time, until you came into my office. I haven’t been with anyone else. I’m an asshole to the core, but I took my vows seriously, even if I did lie about it afterwards.” He leaned in close and brushed his lips across hers. She let out a little moan and a whimper as he finally claimed the kiss he’d been wanting all night.
She put her hand to his cheek, gentle, sweet.
He pulled away just a little to stare into her eyes. “I know you’ve not been with anyone else either. You don’t love me right now, but there was a time I was everything to you, and I know I can be again if you merely give me the chance.”
“Wolfe?”
“Don’t panic. Don’t run away from me. I’m here to stay.” He wasn’t going anywhere. There was no way he could walk away from this woman a second time, or let her leave.
“I’m willing to give you everything you’ve ever wanted in the divorce.”