Here for You

by Pat Simmons

  “Welcome to our congregation.” Karl greeted her. “You’ll be working with my brother Nicholas here. Sorry, I can’t stay to talk. I have a wife and twins waiting for me.” He nodded and left.

  Evangelist Union turned to him. “Do you have a family waiting too?”

  “Not yet,” Nicholas said and smiled, “but I do have to check on my lady. Good night.”

  Chapter 32

  “I’m nervous,” Rachel confessed as she sat at her vanity table in her master bath, staring at her hairless reflection while Shelby and Sweet Pepper fought for space on her lap. The four-pound Yorkie won out. She glanced at the mirror again. It was hard to look at herself. Rachel felt she didn’t look human.

  “Why?” Jacqui asked as she sorted through a bunch of scarfs she’d purchased as gifts. “You said you and Nicholas made up, right?” She squinted at Rachel’s reflection. “And you’ve met his brother and sister-in-law, so why are you nervous? You feel all right, don’t you?” Panic flashed on her face.

  “I’m feeling good, and I’m up for company for a few hours.” Her breast was still sore from this week’s radiation treatment. She would be glad when everything was over, but it was only a few weeks before Thanksgiving, and the oncologist expected her treatment to last into the New Year. She didn’t want to think about her cancer, her ailments, her treatments. Nicholas was coming, and Rachel was hyped.

  “Aha. This will work!” She held up a scarf that had Rachel’s favorite shade of blue with yellow and purple accents.

  “Nicholas has never seen me hairless.” She pouted. “If it weren’t for my eyes, nose, and mouth, no one would be able to tell my back from my front.”

  Jacqui rocked her head to one side and frowned, giving it some thought. “You’ve got a point, but we’re going to fix that after we do your makeup.” She laid the scarf aside and picked up Rachel’s massive makeup holder and went to work while Rachel scratched behind Sweet Pepper’s ears.

  Her friend didn’t miss a beat as she applied each layer of the makeup regimen: moisturizer, primer, eye shadow and highlights, the fake lashes from the gift basket, foundation and blush, contour, lipstick, and on and on. Rachel closed her eyes as her friend sprayed her face with a matte finish.

  “I look”—Rachel leaned forward and touched her face in awe—“real again…beautiful.”

  “If you cry,” Jacqui said, warning her and squinting, “and mess up my masterpiece, I will smear orange eye shadow on your forehead, cheeks, neck. I’ll leave no spot untouched.” She softened her voice. “You are beautiful. Watch and see if your Nicholas won’t tell you the same thing. Whew,” Jacqui huffed. “Time for your headdress. I’ll show you how to wrap an African Ankara scarf.” Step by step, her friend demonstrated how to place the fabric on Rachel’s head, where to tie and fold it.

  “Sister-girl, you’ve got skills,” Rachel said in awe. “I hope I can remember everything.”

  “You will.” Jacqui patted her shoulder. “Let’s see what you should wear.”

  For the next hour, Rachel modeled different garments until they settled on a round-neck gold crocheted sweater with long sleeves and ruffles at the ends.

  “Nice.” Jacqui nodded from her perch on Rachel’s bed, rocking one leg she had crossed over a knee. “Now, I must be going, darlin’. The night awaits my presence.”

  It had been a tagline they used when they went out on the town. Jacqui slipped on her jacket, then took the pets upstairs to the rooftop dog park for Rachel before she headed out.

  Her home was spotless. Clara had made sure of that the day before. Even her meds were concealed in a small floral box. With nothing to do but wait for her guests’ arrival, Rachel picked up her Bible and read a chapter in Proverbs.

  Promptly at four o’clock, her doorbell rang. Shelby and Sweet Pepper yapped until Rachel opened the door. Three bright smiles greeted her: Nicholas, Karl, and Ava. But the only smile that mattered was from Nicholas. When their eyes connected, Rachel couldn’t pull away. Ava complimented her head wrap and condo as she walked in. Karl nodded, then Nicholas stepped inside and closed the door.

  Before she knew what was happening, he guided her into his arms. The strength in his embrace was gentle but still caused her pain.

  “Ugh.” She screamed and jumped back as her affected breast throbbed. She turned away. Closing her eyes, Rachel rubbed her chest, coaxing the burning to subside.

  “Baby, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he said close behind her, but he didn’t touch her.

  She faced him. “It’s okay. I’m still tender from the radiation. The slightest touch can cause me some sharp pains.”

  “I’ll be more careful.” He ignored the pooches’ wagging tails vying for his attention as he led her to the couch. “Sure you’re okay?”

  “Yes.”

  “You rest. We’ll set up everything.” He changed his mind and decided not to leave her side.

  After a series of deep breaths, Rachel’s pain was manageable. Taking Nicholas’s hand, Rachel felt content as she watched Ava scrutinize a gallon jug of punch she’d brought. Karl pulled out snacks from Publix bags: crackers, pretzels, bagels, dips, finger sandwiches, and more. Rachel prayed her taste buds would allow her to enjoy every bite.

  “Dear Brother-in-Law, are you going to help with the food or game setup?” Ava asked, watching them.

  “Nope.” Nicholas grinned. “I’m going to sit right here next to my lady love.”

  “Good answer, Minister Adams. Don’t let my wife get you in trouble,” Karl said.

  Rachel watched their interaction and admired them. Will that be me one day? Rachel hoped. Married with two children? Lord, I’m humbly putting my request in.

  “Sorry to take over your kitchen, Rachel. Do I have permission to rummage through your cabinets for paper plates?” Ava asked.

  “Trust me, people have taken over my kitchen these last few months.” Rachel waved.

  “I prefer china for my queen.” Nicholas stood and walked into the kitchen and retrieved the china and stemware as if he lived there, then set the table while Ava folded her arms, wearing an impressed expression. She got Rachel’s attention and winked as she gave her a thumbs-up.

  “And what did you bring to the potluck, Minister Adams?” Rachel asked.

  “Tacos.” He pointed to the bag on the counter that she hadn’t noticed before. He claimed his seat next to her again and leaned closer. “You okay?”

  “I’m getting stronger every day.” Rubbing the silky hairs on his jaw, Rachel smiled.

  “I’ve missed you,” he whispered as his eyes roamed her head before settling on her lips.

  She was giddy that the man wanted to kiss her. She didn’t know how she felt about Karl and Ava being a detriment from that happening. She blushed.

  “I never want us to push each other into something we both aren’t prepared for,” Nicholas said as he toyed with her hooped earrings.

  “Me either.” She bowed her head and looked at her unpolished nails. Rachel was surprised Jacqui hadn’t fussed at her about needing a manicure.

  “Now that that’s out of the way.” He lifted her chin with his thumb and turned her from side to side. “You’re as pretty as ever.”

  Once he held her stare, he gathered her hands, then brushed his lips again her knuckles. Despite feeling like a Sphynx cat, his gestures made her feel beautiful.

  Rachel’s heart danced with his praise. “It’s not too much makeup, considering I’m not going out?” She touched the head wrap. “Do you like my scarf?”

  “I do. There is nothing about you I don’t love.” He bit his lip as he studied her headpiece. “But you didn’t have to go through all the trouble for us.”

  “I didn’t want you to see me with my bald head. Plus I wanted—no, needed—to feel beautiful.”

  “And you are perfect for me—”

  Ava cut
him off. “As soon as I heat up the dip, we can eat.”

  “How’s your appetite?” Nicholas asked, squeezing her hands and assisting her to her feet.

  She moved her head from side to side. “Better with certain foods.”

  Gathered around her dining room table, they joined hands and gave thanks for their snacks. As she slowly indulged in the food, she could feel Nicholas’s eyes on her. Was he making sure she ate, or did she look odd with the fake lashes and the Ankara scarf around her head? Feeling self-conscious, she faced him. “What’s wrong?”

  “Absolutely nothing. I missed you. You’re the best part of me, and you’re stunning.”

  She lowered her fake lashes and blushed.

  “Plus, I have to make sure you eat.”

  He also made her happy. She leaned within an inch of his lips and scrunched her nose playfully. “Just for you.”

  “Thank you.”

  Karl cleared his throat. “Hey, there are children in the room.” He pointed to himself and his wife.

  They all laughed, then Karl and Ava cleared the table to play the board game Sequence.

  “I had so much fun playing this at your house,” Rachel said.

  “We know,” Ava and Karl said, amused.

  “Rachel and me on one team,” Nicholas said and lifted her arm in the air, careful not to hurt her.

  “Let’s make it more interesting and play the men against women,” Ava said, trying to reason with him.

  “Nope.” Nicholas shook his head like a stubborn child. He was adorable and comical at the same time, but he wouldn’t budge. They may lose, but he was determined they be on the same team.

  She and Nicholas were on the verge of forming the correct number of sequences on the board with their chips when he cleared his throat to signal to Rachel not to make a move.

  “That’s against the rules, man. You can’t help a teammate. You have to pull a card and put it in the discard pile,” Karl said with no leniency. “We played this at my house not long ago, so how did you forget that?”

  Nicholas didn’t bother to answer, and the game ended hours later. The husband-and-wife team beat them.

  “This was so much fun. Thank you for coming and ‘babysitting’ us.” Rachel made air quotes with her fingers before Nicholas grabbed her hand and squeezed. They shared a laugh. Were they both thinking about the kiss they were resisting?

  “It’s called accountability,” Karl said.

  “Yep,” his wife chimed in with a smile. “We are our brother’s keeper. When you love someone, the magnetism is powerful, and it was thick in here tonight.” Her eyes danced. “So is the temptation. We love you both, and we want to help your relationship.”

  “I know it ain’t easy, but it’s doable.” Karl nodded.

  “Amen. Pastor Mann preached on that last Sunday.” Nicholas rested his elbows on his knees and seemed to be in serious thought.

  “I miss being in church.” Rachel sighed. “It’s not the same watching the service at home.”

  Ava frowned. “If you’re feeling up to it, why not go tomorrow? I’ll come and get you,” she offered eagerly.

  Until Rachel drove herself to the center for treatment, she hadn’t realized that she had given up too much of her independence. “I can drive myself.” She patted her head wrap. “But will I stand out with my Ankara scarf?” That sounded so ironic. She and Jacqui had thrived on being the center of attention. Funny how cancer makes a person want to shy away from public scrutiny—well, some folks.

  Nicholas took her hand. “They will stare at your beauty,” he said softly.

  “You’re saying that because you love me.”

  “He’s right, Rachel,” Ava said with a smile. “You know how to rock anything you put on. You’ve lost some weight, but you’re still radiant.”

  “Thanks for the confidence booster. I’ve been struggling with that among other things, but I’m learning to be still and listen for God to lead me.”

  “Amen,” her guests said in unison.

  “Okay.” Rachel came to a decision. “If I can get a good night’s rest, fix my face, and tie my head wrap without too much trouble, I’ll be there as close to on time as possible.”

  “Yes!” Nicholas lifted a fist in the air. “I guess I’d better help them clean up so we can be on our way. I want you well rested.” She had never seen him move so fast. Rachel doubled over laughing until a few tears escaped.

  At her door, Nicholas seemed to study her. “Baby, if in the morning, you’re up to it but don’t want to drive, I’ll get you.”

  “Thank you,” she whispered, admiring his handsome features. It seemed like forever since she’d seen him last instead of days. “I’m determined to come, and it will do me good to drive more.” She shook her head. “If I’m going to fight and beat this cancer, I want to be surrounded by prayers.”

  Judging from the twinkle in his eyes, her statement pleased him. “Woman, don’t make me drop to one knee and ask you one question that has only one right answer.”

  “I look forward to that one day, but not today,” Rachel said softly as her heart fluttered.

  “Fight, Rachel. Fight for you. Fight for us,” Nicholas said in a low voice as she closed the door.

  Chapter 33

  Rachel didn’t care how long it took, but she was determined to get dressed for church and drive herself. The previous night, she read the joy of the Lord was her strength from Nehemiah, chapter 8. She needed that strength this morning. After she prayed and showered, she forced food down in order to take her meds. Surprisingly, she could taste the sweetness of the grapes in the fruit salad Ava had left.

  Next, she selected something as colorful as one of the scarves Jacqui had bought for her. She had a closet full of clothes that once flattered her figure.

  After about fifteen minutes, she decided on a red and gold dress that had a lot of ruffles that would camouflage her breast ailments.

  After the surgery, the oncologist had suggested she wear a soft breast prosthesis that could be attached to a camisole to give the affected breast a balanced appearance with her other one. The breast form had become as commonplace as slipping into pantyhose—uncomfortable at times because of the tenderness. Jacqui had mentioned some of their friends who wore this to appear more voluptuous. It was definitely a confidence booster for Rachel.

  Finally, standing in her bathroom, scrutinizing her reflection in the mirror, she saw that cancer had its own look, even from a distance. Rachel applied her makeup and artistically sketched her eyebrows. She thought about the women who weren’t makeup gurus. Rachel was glad Walgreens had a service for cancer patients.

  Next, she tackled tying her scarf. This labor seemed to be payback for her refusing to wear a wig, even a donated one. She wasn’t as adept as Jacqui, but the YouTube tutorials were amazing. She didn’t know how much she appreciated African attire until now.

  Nicholas had texted her twice before she could walk out the door. This was in addition to the initial morning text with a Scripture. Are you still coming?

  Yes, she replied. She shook her head in amusement.

  Half an hour later, he texted again: Are you on your way?

  Walking out the door. As she drove to church, Nicholas’s words kept vibrating through her head: Fight, Rachel. Fight for you. Fight for us.

  “Lord, help me to fight the months ahead of chemo and radiation therapies when I’m so sick and weak. Help me,” she prayed. “Feed me Your joy for strength.”

  * * *

  Nicholas was hyped that Rachel had a desire to return to church, because he missed her presence. Yet he was concerned about whether she had the strength to drive the twenty minutes from her condo to Brentwood.

  “Ava and the boys are holding Rachel a seat,” Karl said after he came and stood next to Nicholas. “Is she still coming?” he asked with a concern
ed expression.

  “Yeah.” Nicholas checked the time on his phone. “She should have been here by now.”

  Karl nodded. “Morning worship is about to start. I guess we need to pray her all the way to her destination, Bro.”

  “Amen.” He liked the sound of that.

  While some members remained in the fellowship hall, finishing up the snacks served between services, Nicholas and Karl headed toward the foyer and glanced out into the parking lot, searching for Rachel’s car.

  “I’ll meet you on the pulpit,” Karl said after a few minutes.

  When Nicholas had no time left to keep watching and waiting, he headed to the sanctuary where the praise team was singing a rendition of “I’m Available to You.”

  He took his post along with the other ministers on the side of the pulpit. The singers were finishing their second selection when it seemed as if God tapped him on the shoulder and pointed his head in the exact direction where he saw Rachel taking a seat next to Ava. She looked regal in her colorful attire. His nephews were bouncing in place, vying for her attention. Nicholas only hoped they wouldn’t hurt her with their excitement.

  He whispered his thanks to the Lord for her safe arrival and exhaled. Rachel had a magnetic pull on him, so he couldn’t look away. He saw her send him a slight wave, then there was a second wave and a third before Ava told her sons to stop. Nicholas chuckled. All was right in his world.

  Karl, who was two rows in front of Nicholas, glanced back and mouthed, See her?

  Nicholas nodded and would have grinned, but the service was streaming live. If the cameras were on him, a viewer might misinterpret his behavior as disrespect.

  Pastor Mann stepped to the podium and greeted visitors and members. He sang a few choruses of “How Excellent,” then directed everyone’s attention to Isaiah 26:3.

  “My question this morning is how’s your attention span? Will you remember today’s sermon or Scripture reading? Can you focus on God’s voice when you pray?” He paused and looked around the sanctuary while tapping his foot. Was he actually waiting for someone to answer?