by Sarah White
After dinner, Greg drives me back to my apartment and walks me to the door. I have a million questions to ask him, but before they can reach my mouth I decide they aren’t important.
As we stand outside my front door, he reaches for my hands. “Happy birthday, Madeline. I hope this year brings you everything you have ever wanted.”
“Thank you, Greg. Will you call me?”
“How about you call me? I want to give you space but I’ll be there to talk to you if you want to reach out.” I know how hard this must be for him and I’m in awe of his self-sacrifice.
“I will, but please let me know that you’ve landed safely. I won’t be able to rest until I know you’re okay.”
Greg nods and then lifts my hand up to his mouth to lay a kiss on my knuckles. We stand there for a second, both knowing this could be the end, and then Greg puts his hands in his pockets and turns and walks away. I watch him go, wondering if I am letting my future walk away with him.
*
In the apartment, I find Abby sitting on the couch with Kyle. It looks intense so I give them a little wave and make my way to my room. I sit on the edge of my bed and check the messages on my phone, and I am pleasantly surprised to see one from my aunt Gwen, asking that I stop by tomorrow to pick up a birthday gift. She’s my mother’s only sister, but there is tension between her and my father so we don’t see a lot of each other. With everything that’s gone on in the past few days, I find myself looking forward to the chance to visit with her.
My thoughts are interrupted by a knocking at our front door. Abby answers and I tip my head to the side, listening to the sound of men’s voices talking and laughing.
When I look up, Jackson is standing in my doorway. “Hey, rookie, thank God you’re in here. I thought I was going to have to follow you up that old trellis again and I was worried about how your ankle would hold up on the climb.” The emptiness I’ve been feeling begins to fill up with heat and I can’t help but smile at his teasing. He looks amazing in a pair of dark jeans and fitted T-shirt with our college logo across the front.
Blue—his eyes are blue and are now piercing into me with intensity. He twists his baseball cap to the back and then enters my room, leaning on the dresser in front of me.
“Please come in.” I raise my brows and half smile at him already having made himself comfortable.
He doesn’t follow the rules and this excites me to no end.
“Can’t stay long, rookie, we’re going to be late.”
“Late? Please don’t let me keep you from your other pressing engagements, Jackson.” I laugh at how absurd this whole interaction is becoming.
If he has somewhere else to be, then why is he here? His eyes meet mine and, with a wide smile, he brings a wrapped box out from behind his back.
“I said we are going to be late, rookie—pay attention. Happy birthday and best regards for a great year, and please make sure that if you ever tell my mother about the evening we met, you mention that I later returned with a gift for the birthday girl.”
My face flushes as he hands the box to me and I chuckle, feeling the tightness that has been constricting my heart all day begin to loosen.
“Jackson, you didn’t have to do this.” I place my hand across my heart and do my best Scarlett O’Hara impression. “But I will be sure to remember—if the moment ever presents itself—to speak very highly of your manners to your wonderful mother.”
“Thanks, rookie, I knew I could count on you to hide my indiscretions. Now, hurry up and open that. I’m sort of a guest of honor and the coaches get a little pissy if I’m not there to represent.”
I unwrap the box and pull out a T-shirt with our team logo on it and a large number printed on the back. “Let me guess, Mr. Quarterback—this is your number?” I hold the back of the T-shirt up for him to see and he smiles from ear to ear.
“Geez, you’re breaking my heart. You might be the only girl on campus who doesn’t already know that.” He winks and then turns around and faces the wall.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
He twists his head slightly in my direction and places his hands on his hips. “I’m turning around so you can put it on, but if you would like me to see I can turn bac—”
“Not a chance. Eyes to the wall.” I’ve never done this before.
The excitement of changing in a room with Jackson races through me and it feels like hope and happiness all wrapped in warmth. I pull off the shirt I was wearing and quickly put the new one over my head. I have it to the bottom of my breasts when Jackson turns around.
“Hey, I wasn’t finished!”
“That was the idea,” he whispers loudly. I throw my old shirt at him and he bats it away. “Let’s go, beautiful, the team’s waiting.”
I follow him out of my room and steal a glance at Abby and Kyle as they watch us in silent awe. When I turn to close the door behind me, Abby mouths, “OMG,” to me and I catch the way Kyle nods in Jackson’s direction. I hadn’t realized they know each other. Jackson grabs my hand and leads me to his truck. It’s cliché, but waves of electricity run up my arm and I bite hard on my lip to keep from grinning. I can’t believe this is happening and I want to stop for a minute to process everything I feel, but Jackson tugs at my hand.
His truck is higher up than I’m used to and it requires a step for me to get in. He opens the door and then turns me to face him. When I look up into his eyes he smiles down at me, and I know he’s enjoying this as much as I am. He firmly grips my hips, causing heat to pool in all the right places, and he lifts my body into the truck as if I weigh nothing.
“What a gentleman,” I say as he reaches to close my door. He laughs out loud as he walks around to the driver’s side. He slides into his seat and fires up the engine, the headlights glowing through the darkness that surrounds us. “Where are we going, Jackson?”
“I can’t allow a fellow senior to graduate without attending at least one pep rally. Come on, rookie, let me show you some southern hospitality.”
I feel like a kid at Christmas. I’m giddy with excitement as his truck pulls into the school’s parking lot. Jackson rolls down our windows so he can wave at what I am guessing are fellow players and a few fans. I’m finally experiencing something other college kids have known about all along, as if now I’m part of the club, too.
“Don’t you dare open that door, Maddy. I’m coming around to let you out.” When Jackson opens the door I look down at him from my seat. I study the way his jaw is chiseled and his biceps are firm as he reaches up to grab my waist. I’m not going to lie; the thought of jumping out and throwing myself into his arms crosses my mind, but if he can show some manners then so can I. Jackson’s hands guide me to the edge of the seat and then he slowly lowers me down his body until my feet hit the asphalt below. My ankle is still sore but I can walk a short distance.
Students are descending upon us in large masses with coolers and school memorabilia. Jackson grabs my hand and pulls me along through the crowd. I don’t understand how this can all be happening so fast, and yet as he maneuvers through the crowd in front of me I see it in slow motion. The way he checks behind himself every few minutes and smiles when he sees my face makes me giggle. I’m not going anywhere without him and I don’t know how he can’t see that written across my face. Maybe he can, and that’s why he smiles.
There’s a large stage set up in front of the crowd and the cheerleaders are dancing to music as a highlight reel is played on large screens set up on the corners of the stage. Jackson pulls me to the front of the stage and then positions me in front of him. His hands rest on my waist as he pulls my body back to rest against his.
He leans down and whispers in my ear, “See what you’ve been missing, rookie?”
I want so badly to tell him he has no idea. I’ve been missing the school camaraderie, the excitement of the games, and the typical college experience. What Jackson doesn’t know is that I’ve also been missing the excitement of being with someone I fi
nd very attractive, and the feeling of being completely enchanted when standing so close to him.
As the highlights play on and the excitement of the crowd grows, we stand pressed into each other, hearts racing with the thrill of each aspect of tonight. Jackson moves his hands from my waist and slips them across my stomach in a loose embrace, and then rests his chin on my shoulder.
“I love pep rallies,” he says. “I look forward to them because they pump me up for the game. I like to be here when they bring the cheerleaders out and I like to stay until they start closing down the stage. But, right now, I just want to be with you. I want to take you away from here and have you all to myself again like up on the roof. I don’t know what is going on with your boyfriend, since you came here with me, but just know that I am a competitive guy. I go after what I want, Maddy, and I haven’t wanted anything as badly as I want you in a long time.”
I close my eyes and lean back into him. I reach down, put my hands over his and return the embrace. Want and need are winding their way through my body and desire is burning my core. I want Jackson—to feel his body pressed against mine and to taste his lips again. I turn my head back to the side so our faces are close and I can feel the heat of his breath against my lips.
“Thank you for this, Jackson—” But I can’t finish, because he crushes his lips to mine and I reach one hand up to touch his face. The world around us goes black as his hands pull me back against his hard body. The crowd begins to move and we break apart as people rush past us to where the rival’s mascot has been placed atop a large pile of wood.
“Come here, rookie, you’ve got to see this!” Jackson takes my hand as the coach lights the wood on fire.
Everyone is screaming and cheering as the mascot goes up in a blaze of flames. Jackson is high-fiving people left and right and we are now surrounded by other team members in shirts like Jackson’s with girls by their sides. Jackson pulls me closer, then wraps an arm around my shoulder. He introduces me to some of the players and their girlfriends, and the crowd begins to disperse with rumblings of other parties making their way from person to person.
Jackson’s warmth envelops me as I stay pressed to his side while he talks with his teammates. I can see the other girls looking at me and whispering to each other. I have no idea what I have gotten myself into, but tonight I don’t care. I don’t want this night to end. When the coaches yell to the players to go home and get some rest, the final packs of students move toward the parking lot. Jackson and I are one of the last couples to walk out to the dark lot and when we reach the edge of the grass he stops and turns me to look at him.
“Climb on, rookie, I’ll give you a ride to the car. I know your ankle has to be sore out here.” I nod and jump onto his back when he squats down. My legs are wrapped around him and I rest my head on his back. I feel at peace for the first time in a long time and I pray I’m going to be able to use these three weeks wisely. When we get to the truck I slide down and he helps me up into the passenger seat. After climbing in on his side, he starts the car and then rests his hand on my knee.
The tension builds as we ride home in silence, with his warm hand sliding up my thigh ever so slightly as he navigates the streets to my place.
“Jackson, do you have a girlfriend or someone that wouldn’t be very happy about this?” I can’t help it.
I need to know if I’m going to cause some other woman heartbreak or if he is free to be with me. I hold my breath as he turns toward me to answer.
“I haven’t been with her since the night I met you, rookie. It wasn’t a committed relationship or anything, but we have been hooking up for about six months. I’m going to be honest—I met up with her earlier this week. I had been obsessing over our night, wanting to be with you and knowing I couldn’t have you. So I called her to see if I just needed something she could provide. We started messing around, but I just couldn’t get into it. I came clean and told her I was interested in someone else.”
I’m relieved he is single, but nervous now that I know for sure what he wants from me. He squeezes my thigh.
“No pressure, Maddy—breathe. I just want to be straight with you so that you don’t find out later from other people and hate me. What about you? Why was it so easy to convince you to go out with me tonight? I thought you had a boyfriend.”
“We decided to take a break. He’s away for three weeks and then we’re going to try to figure out where we stand when he gets back. I need to think some things through for myself, and he thinks I can do it best without him.” I want to be honest, too. I don’t know how to do the dating or hooking-up thing and I feel like I am going to have to follow Jackson’s lead.
“He let you go? Just like that?” Jackson shakes his head and looks out the window. “I couldn’t have done it.” We pull into the parking lot of my building and he jumps out to open my side.
Jackson holds my hand as he walks me up to my front door. When we get there I suddenly feel nervous again, and I am not sure what to do next.
“Would you like to come in for a while?” My voice is so timid I almost don’t recognize it.
“I would regret it forever if I turned that down, rookie. I would love to extend this evening.”
I open the door and he follows me into the apartment. It’s dark and empty. There’s a note on the counter in the kitchen that Abby has left, telling me she’s spending the night at Kyle’s and to be ready to spill my guts when she gets home. I laugh and then put the note in my pocket so Jackson doesn’t see it.
“So, what’s on the list for these next three weeks, rookie?” Jackson comes around the counter so we are standing toe-to-toe in the kitchen.
I don’t know the answer to that yet. I just want to feel free, like I have lived my life. I bite my lip and shake my head, putting my hands in my back pockets.
“I haven’t thought about it,” I answer. “I’ve wanted this for so long but it’s never really been a possibility, so I haven’t planned it out. You helped me experience a few things tonight that I would have put on the list.”
“Hmm, what were those?” Jackson places his hands on my hips and pulls my body up against his so I can feel every inch of him against me.
“I’ve never been to a pep rally…”
He brushes his nose against mine and I think he’s going to kiss me, but he just smiles and mumbles a go-on sound.
“And I’ve never wanted someone to touch me as badly as I want you to.” It’s a whisper and I close my eyes as his lips meet mine. It’s slow and soft as we discover each other again, but then he puts his hands on the side of my face and deepens the kiss, sliding his tongue into my mouth.
Our bodies are colliding under the movement of the kiss and he backs me up to the counter and presses himself against me. Our mouths leave each other for a minute as we rest our foreheads together and gasp for air. I’m so turned on that my cheeks are flushed with heat and my body is tingling with awareness. In one fast movement, Jackson lifts me onto the edge of the counter. He’s looking at where his hands have met my body as he slowly slides them up to my ribs and then lightly cups the outsides of my breasts before returning his gaze to mine.
I press my body into his hands, giving him permission to take this further. He sucks in my bottom lip and then lightly bites it as he caresses my breasts with his warm palms. I put my hands on the sides of his face, wanting to feel the roughness of his jaw under my touch. His hands drift down to my backside and he pulls me closer to him so I can feel his need between my legs. There’s a feeling building and building inside me from the contact our bodies are making as he holds me tightly against him.
There’s the sound of a key in the lock and I jump down from the counter and tuck Jackson behind me. Abby bursts through the door, her face puffy from crying, and she stops short as she sees us standing in the kitchen.
“Oh, no, I’m sorry,” she says in a panic, as she takes in the scene.
“It’s all right, Abby—are you okay?”
Abby sta
rts to cry again and shakes her head no. She throws her purse on the counter and then makes her way to the tissues in the living room. I turn around to Jackson who has such a guilty look on his face it makes me laugh, and I hit his arm playfully and then give him a hug.
“I’m sorry, Jackson, but I have to take care of her.” He nods and moves toward the front door.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, rookie,” he says, and then lightly kisses my forehead.
“I have to visit family tomorrow.” I’m disappointed that we won’t have a chance to let this thing play out. Jackson steps out onto the front step and then turns around so he is facing me again.
“Well, I guess it’s a good thing that a day is made up of twenty-four hours. There is no way your family can take them all.” He reaches into my back pocket and pulls out my cell phone. He types in a few things and I’m suddenly very glad I have never protected my phone with a password. His cell chimes with a message notification, and he slides my phone back into my pocket.
“I’ll tell you what else I know, Maddy.” He leans in close and presses his warm lips to my neck, trailing kisses from my shoulder to just under my ear. I shiver. “I now have your number, and three weeks to make you realize how great we could be together.” Jackson kisses my lips and then goes down the steps, putting space between us.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, rookie.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Jackson.”
Chapter Five
Aunt Gwen looks beautiful as usual. She hugs me tight and has lunch set out for us at her kitchen table. It’s been a while since I’ve seen her and it feels good to be with her again. We drink tea and eat sandwiches, catching up on each other’s lives in between bites. Aunt Gwen is retired now and lives alone since Uncle David passed a few years ago.