Ascend

by Amanda Hocking

  “Would you like some tea, Wendy?” Elora asked without looking up at me. She’d only recently begun calling me Wendy. For a long time she refused to call me anything but Princess, but our relationship had been changing.

  “Yes, please,” I said, sitting across from her at the table. “What kind is it?”

  “Blackberry.” She filled the small teacup in front of me, then set the teapot on the table. “I hope you’re hungry this morning. I had the chef whip us up a feast.”

  “I’m quite hungry, thank you,” I said, and my stomach rumbled as proof.

  “Go ahead.” Elora gestured to the spread. “Take what you’d like.”

  “Aren’t you eating?” I asked as I got myself a helping of raspberries.

  “I’m eating some,” Elora said, but she made no move to get a plate. “How is your birthday?”

  “Good, so far. But I haven’t been awake that long.”

  “Is Willa throwing you a party?” Elora asked, picking absently at a plum. “Garrett told me something about it.”

  “Yeah, she had a little party for me last night,” I said between bites. “It was really nice.”

  “Oh, I assumed she would have it today.”

  “Rhys had plans today, and I don’t have that many friends, so she thought it would be better to do it last night.”

  “I see.” Elora took a sip of her tea and said nothing more for several minutes. She only watched me as I ate, which would’ve made me self-conscious before, but I was starting to realize that she just enjoyed watching me.

  “How are you feeling today?” I asked.

  “I’m moving about.” She gave a small shoulder shrug and turned to look out the window.

  The shades were open slightly, letting the brilliant light shine in. The tree tops outside were covered in a heavy blanket of snow, and the reflection made the sun twice as bright.

  “You look good today,” I commented.

  “You look nice today, too,” Elora said without turning back to me. “That’s a lovely color on you.”

  I glanced down at my dress. It was dark blue with black lace designs over it. Willa had picked it out for me, and I did think it was really beautiful. But I still hadn’t gotten used to Elora complimenting me.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “Did I ever tell you about the day you were born?” Elora asked.

  “No.” I’d been eating vanilla yogurt, but I set the spoon down on the plate. “You only told me that it was hasty.”

  “You were early,” she said, her voice low, as if she were lost in thought. “My mother did that. She used her persuasion, and convinced my body to go into labor. It was the only way we could protect you, but you were two weeks early.”

  “Was I born in a hospital?” I asked, realizing I knew so little about my own birth.

  “No.” She shook her head. “We went to the city your host family lived in. Oren thought I was interested in a family that lived in Atlanta, but I’d chosen the Everlys, who lived in northern New York.

  “My mother and I stayed in a hotel nearby, hiding out in case Oren came after us,” Elora went on. “Thomas stayed on the Everlys, watching them until he saw the mother go into labor.”

  “Thomas?” I asked.

  “Yes, Thomas went with us,” Elora said. “That’s how I met him, actually, when we were on the run from my husband. Thomas was a new tracker, but he’d already proven to be very resourceful, so my mother chose him to help us.”

  “So he was there when I was born?” I asked.

  “Yes, he was.” She smiled at the thought. “I gave birth to you on the floor of a hotel bathroom. Mother used her powers on me, induced labor, and made it so I wouldn’t scream or feel pain. And Thomas sat at my side, holding my hand, and telling me it would all be fine.”

  “Were you scared?” I asked. “Giving birth like that?”

  “I was terrified,” she admitted. “But I had no choice. I needed to hide you and protect you. It had to be done.”

  “I know,” I said. “You did the right thing. I understand that now.”

  “You were so small.” Her smile changed, and she tilted her head. “I didn’t know you would be so tiny, and you were so beautiful. You were born with a dark shock of hair, and these big, dark eyes. You were beautiful and you were perfect and you were mine.”

  She paused, thinking, and a lump grew in my throat. It felt so strange to hear my mother talking about me the way a mother talks about her children.

  “I wanted to hold you,” Elora said at length. “I begged my mother to let me hold you, and she said it would only make it worse. She held you, though, wrapping you in a bed sheet, and staring down at you with tears in her eyes.

  “Then she left,” she continued. “She took you to the hospital to leave you with the Everlys, and brought home another baby that wasn’t mine. She wanted me to hold him, to care for Rhys. She said that it would make it easier. But I didn’t want him. You were my child, and I wanted you.”

  Elora turned to look at me then, her eyes looking clearer than they had in a while. “I did want you, Wendy. Despite everything that happened between your father and I, I wanted you. More than anything in the world.”

  I didn’t say anything to that. I couldn’t. If I did, I would cry, and I didn’t want her to see that. Even as open as she was being, I didn’t know how she would react to me weeping outright.

  “But I couldn’t have you.” Elora turned back to the window. “Sometimes it seems to me that that’s all my life has been, a series of things that I loved deeply that I could never have.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said in a small voice.

  “Don’t be.” She waved it off. “I made my choices, and I did the best I could.” She forced a smile at me. “And look at me. This is your birthday. I shouldn’t be whining to you.”

  “You’re not whining.” I wiped at my eyes as discreetly as I could and took another sip of my tea. “And I’m glad you told me.”

  “Anyway, we need to talk about switching the rooms around,” Elora said, brushing her hair back from her face. “I plan to leave most of my furniture in here, unless you’d like to change it, which is your prerogative, of course.”

  “Switching what rooms?” I asked, confused.

  “You’re taking my room after you get married.” She motioned around us. “This is the wedding chamber.”

  “Oh, right. Of course.” I shook my head to clear the confusion. “I’ve been so busy with everything else that I’d forgotten.”

  “It’s no matter,” she said. “It shouldn’t be much work to move things around, since it will be only personal items we’re moving in and out. I’ll have some of the trackers move my things out Friday, and I’ll be staying in the room down the hall.”

  “They can move my things in then,” I said. “And Tove’s things too, since he’ll be sharing the room with me.”

  “How is that going?” Elora leaned back in her chair, studying me. “Are you prepared for the wedding?”

  “Aurora is certainly prepared for it,” I sighed. “But if you’re asking if I’m prepared to be married, I’m not sure. But I guess I’ll wing it.”

  “You and Tove will be alright,” she smiled at me. “I’m certain of it.”

  “You’re certain?” I raised an eyebrow. “Did you paint it?” Elora had the ability of precognition, but she could only paint her visions of the future in static images.

  “No,” she laughed, shaking her head. “It’s mother’s intuition.”

  I ate a little more, but she only picked at the food. We talked, and it was strange to think that I’d miss her when she was gone. I hadn’t actually known her for that long, and most of that time our relationship had been cold.

  When I left, she was climbing back in bed and asked me to send someone up to clean the mess from breakfast. Duncan was waiting outside the door for me, and he went in to take care of the plates.

  While Duncan was with busy with Elora, I stopped at Loki’s room to se
e how he was feeling. If he was better, I wanted to find out what was going on.

  Thomas was still outside, so I knocked once and opened the door without waiting for a response. Loki was in the middle of changing clothes as I came in. He’d already traded his worn slacks for a pair of pajama pants, and he was holding a white tee shirt, preparing to put it on.

  He had his back to me, and it was even worse than I’d thought.

  “Oh my god, Loki,” I gasped.

  “I didn’t know you were coming.” He turned around to face me, smirking. “Shall I leave the shirt off then?”

  “No, put the shirt on,” I said, and I closed the door behind me, so nobody could see or overhear us talking.

  “You’re no fun.” He wrinkled his nose and pulled the shirt over his head.

  “Your back is horrific,” I said.

  “And I was just going to tell you how beautiful you look today, but I’m not going to bother now if you’re going to talk that way.” Loki sat back down on his bed, more lying than sitting.

  “I’m being serious. What happened to you?”

  “I already told you.” He stared down at his legs and picked at lint on his pants. “The King hates me.”

  “Why?” I asked, already feeling indignation at my father for doing this to him. “Why in god’s name would he do something so brutal to you?”

  “You clearly don’t know your father,” Loki said. “This isn’t that brutal for him.”

  “How is it not brutal?” I sat down on the bed next to him. “And you’re nearly a Prince! How can he treat you this way?”

  “He’s the King,” he shrugged. “He does what he wants.”

  “But what about the Queen?” I asked. “Didn’t she try to stop him?”

  “She tried to heal me at first, but eventually that became too much for her. And there’s only so much Sara can do to counter Oren.”

  Sara, the Queen of the Vittra, was my stepmother, but she’d once been betrothed to Loki. She was over ten years older than him, and it was an arranged engagement that ended when he was nine. They were never romantic, and she had always considered Loki more of a little brother and protected him as such.

  “Did he personally do that to you?” I asked quietly.

  “What?” Loki looked up at me, his golden eyes meeting mine.

  He had a scar on his chin, and I’m certain he didn’t have that before. His skin had been flawless and perfect, not that the scar detracted in any way from how handsome he was.

  “That.” I touched the mark on his chin. “Did he do that to you?”

  “Yes,” he answered thickly.

  “How?” I moved my hand, touched a mark he had on his temple. “How did he do this to you?”

  “Sometimes he’d hit me.” Loki kept his eyes on me, letting me trace my fingers on his scars. “Or he’d kick me. But usually, he used a cat.”

  “You mean like a living cat?” I gave him an odd expression, and he smiled.

  “No, it’s actually called a cat o’ nine tails,” he said. “It’s like a whip, but instead of one tail, it has nine. It inflicts more damage than a regular whip.”

  “Loki!” I dropped my hand, totally appalled. “He would do that to you? Why didn’t you leave? Did you fight back?”

  “Fighting back wouldn’t do any good, and I left as soon as I was able,” Loki said. “That’s why I’m here now.”

  “He held you prisoner?” I asked.

  “I was locked up in the dungeon.” He shifted and turned away from me. “Princess, I’m glad to see you, but I’d really rather not talk about this anymore.”

  “You want me to grant you amnesty,” I said. “I need to know why.”

  “Why?” Loki laughed darkly. “Why do you think, Princess?”

  “I don’t know!”

  “Because of you.” He looked back at me, a strange, crooked smile on his face. “I didn’t bring you back.”

  “But…” I furrowed my brow. “You asked to go back to the Vittra. We bartered with the King so he could have you.”

  “Yes, well, he still thought you would come around.” He ran a hand through his hair and sat up straighter. “And you didn’t. It was my fault for letting you go in the first place, and then for not bringing you back.” He bit his lip and shook his head. “He’s determined to get you, Princess.”

  “So he tortured you?” I asked quietly, and I tried to keep the tremor from my voice. “Over me?”

  “Princess,” Loki sighed and moved closer to me. Gently, almost cautiously, he put his arm around me. “What happened isn’t your fault.”

  “Maybe. But maybe this wouldn’t have happened if I’d run away with you.”

  “You still can.”

  “No, I can’t.” I shook my head. “I have so much I need to do here. I can’t just leave it all behind. But you can stay here. I will grant you amnesty.”

  “Mmm, I knew it.” He smiled. “You’d miss me too much if I left.”

  “Hardly,” I laughed.

  “Hardly?” Loki smirked.

  He’d lowered his arm around me, so his hand was on my waist. Loki was right next to me, his muscles pressed against me. I knew that I should move away, that I had no justifiable reason to be this close to him, but I didn’t move.

  “Would you?” Loki asked, his voice low.

  “Would I what?”

  “Would you run away with me, if you didn’t have all the responsibilities and the palace and all that?”

  “I don’t know,” I said.

  “I think you would.”

  “Of course you do.” I looked away from him, but I didn’t move away. “Where did you get the pajamas, by the way? You didn’t bring anything with you when you came.”

  “I don’t want to tell you.”

  “Why not?” I looked sharply at him.

  “Because. I’ll tell you, and it will ruin this whole mood,” Loki said. “Can’t we just sit here and look longingly into each other’s eyes until you let me kiss you?”

  “No,” I said, and finally started to pull away from him. “Not if you don’t tell me-”

  “Tove,” Loki said quickly, trying to hang onto me. He was much stronger than me, but he let me push him off.

  “Of course.” I stood up. “That’s exactly the kind of thing my fiancé would do. He’s always thinking of other people.”

  “It’s just pajamas!’ Loki insisted, like that would mean something. “Sure, he’s a terrifically nice guy, but that doesn’t matter.”

  “How does that not matter?” I asked

  “Because you don’t love him.”

  “I care about him,” I said, and he shrugged. “And it’s not like I love you.”

  “Maybe not,” he allowed. “But you will.”

  “You think so?” I asked.

  “Mark my words, Princess,” Loki said. “One day, you’ll be madly in love with me.”

  “Okay,” I laughed, because I didn’t know how else to respond. “But I should go. If I’ve given you amnesty, that means I have to go about enacting it, and getting everyone to agree that it’s not a suicidal decision.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” I said and opened the door to go.

  “It was worth it,” Loki said suddenly.

  “What was?” I turned back to him.

  “Everything I went through,” he said. “For you. It was worth it.”

  4. Fiancé

  My relaxing birthday turned into a meeting frenzy because I’d granted Loki amnesty. Most people thought I was insane, and Loki had to be brought in for questioning. They had a big meeting where Thomas asked him lots of questions, and Loki answered them the same way he did for me.

  But truthfully, he didn’t have to explain much after he lifted his shirt and showed them his scars. After that, they let him go lie down.

  I did have a nice, quiet dinner with Willa and Matt, and that was something. My aunt Maggie called, and I talked to her for a while. She wanted to come see me, bu
t I’d been stalling the best I could. I hadn’t explained to her what I am yet, but she knows I’m safe with Matt.

  I’d wanted her to come out for Christmas, and I planned on telling her about everything then. But then the Vittra started going after the changelings, and I thought they might go after her to get to me, so I postponed seeing her again.

  She’s been traveling a lot, which is good, but she doesn’t understand what I’m doing at all. I can’t wait until this all calms down so I can finally have her in my life again. I miss her so much.

  After dinner, I went back to my room and watched bad eighties movies with Duncan. He had to stay with me sixteen hours a day, then the night watchman took over. I’d wanted to study, since Tove was teaching me Tryllic, but Duncan wouldn’t let me. He insisted I needed to shut off my mind and relax.

  Duncan fell asleep in my room, which wasn’t unusual. Nobody said anything, since he was my guard, and it was better that he was with me. He probably wouldn’t be able to after Saturday, which made me a little sad. I slept sprawled out in my bed, and Duncan was curled up on the couch, a thin blanket draped over him.

  “It’s Thursday,” I said when I woke up. I was still in bed, staring at the ceiling.

  “It certainly is,” Duncan yawned and stretched.

  “I only have two days until I get married.”

  “I know.” He got up and opened the shades, letting a wall of light into my room. “What are you doing today?”

  “I need to stay busy.” I sat up and squinted in the brightness. “And I don’t care what anybody says about me needing to relax and take time off. I have to keep active. So I think I’ll train with Tove today.”

  “At least you’re spending quality time with your fiancé,” Duncan shrugged.

  Whenever I thought about the wedding I got a sick feeling in my stomach. Sometimes, if I thought about it too much, I actually threw up. I don’t think I’d ever been so afraid to do anything in my life.

  I showered and ate a quick breakfast, then I went down to Tove’s room to see if he wanted to do any training. I’d mostly gotten the hang of all my abilities, but they weren’t something I wanted to lose, so I practiced often to keep them strong.