Have Yourself a Merry Little Scandal: a Christmas collection of Historical Romance (Have Yourself a Merry Little... Book 1)

by Anna Campbell

  She sniffed. “I already chose you.”

  “I am not free for the choosing.”

  Cassie received Sidney’s reply. The marquess was here? Lady Delilah’s father? He was an influential man. What business could he have with Sidney? The news landed like a stone in her stomach. This wasn’t good.

  She left the conservatory and went to the drawing room, the one of two places that they might meet. She slowed as she approached the open door, sticking to the wall to avoid being seen.

  “I am not free for the choosing,” Sidney said.

  “But…but we were supposed to meet that night. This isn’t fair—Father, tell him. Why must he marry her if he can marry me?”

  Cassie clenched her fists. Lady Delilah? The nerve of her. Now she needed her father to force the match?

  “Darling, why don’t you take a turn about the room and let the men work out a deal,” the marquess replied.

  “There is no deal to be made. I am committed to Lady Cassandra.”

  “She is scandal personified,” Lady Delilah spat.

  Sidney did not reply. He was being diplomatic, Cassie would guess. Cassie didn’t feel so inclined but who was she to cast judgement.

  “Name a price,” the Marquess said.

  “I’m not chattel. There is no price,” Sidney said, his voice stern. “I am engaged, and I have given my word. My word is my honor.”

  “Honor has a price.”

  “Not mine. Thank you for the visit, but I must excuse myself. I’ve been riding most of the day and must see to my fiancée. She has missed me dearly, I am sure.”

  Cassie heard the thump of the marquess’s cane. “I am disappointed.”

  “Father, you can’t let him not choose me.”

  “Delilah, he’s already chosen. I can’t shackle the man to you. Good day, Reardon.”

  Their voices moved toward the entry, and Cassie hurried back to the door leading to the staff quarters. She startled a maid on the other side and pressed a finger to her lips.

  Holding the swing door open just a crack, she watched Lady Delilah and her father bicker all the way out the door and into their carriage. Sidney did not follow. Her heart pounding, part of her wanted to chuck a rock at their retreating vehicle, but Sidney still remained in the drawing room, and she was more eager than ever to put to rest all the puzzling questions between them. Somehow, her anger at Lady Delilah was giving her the courage and fire to do it right now.

  Cassie jerked to straighten her dress and brushed back the wisps at her temples. She’d known Sidney for years. She could do this. They could have a rational conversation, and she would not lose her head.

  Or her temper.

  She crossed the hall and almost made it to the entry when he appeared there, and they both froze.

  He cleared his throat. “Lady Cassandra.”

  Heavens, why was his voice so deep and mystical. His steely gaze pierced her, and she was drawn forward as if he speared her like a fish.

  Drat it! She couldn’t even breathe.

  Cassie swallowed and forced herself to speak. “Lord Reardon.”

  They were never so formal with each other. This aching awkwardness would not do; she’d choke on her own tongue before anything meaningful was said.

  “Tea?” she asked. Tea would take the pressure off.

  “Please.” He waved toward the drawing room.

  “I’ll order tea—and sandwiches—after all, you must me hungry after your travels.”

  “I’d very much appreciate that.”

  Daniels and the maid hovered near the pantry door. Cassie plastered on a fake smile. “Tea and sandwiches, please.”

  Then she followed Sidney into the drawing room. She took a deep breath and sat in her usual spot with Sidney taking the chair across from her. A glass-topped table etched with a delicate border of flowers separated them.

  “I saw them leave,” Cassie admitted. There was no use hiding it or anything anymore. Hiding feelings were what got her into this tangled web.

  “Oh? An unusual meeting, I must say.”

  “Lady Delilah is nothing if persistent. And spoiled.”

  He half smiled, and her stomach did strange things.

  “She thought to buy me. Like a horse or perhaps a pretty bonnet.”

  “As a bonnet, you’d not be pretty. You’re too practical. You’d be made of straw with little adornment, I think. At most, a band of fabric in a neutral color.”

  He smiled at her now. “Should I be insulted?”

  “Are you? Would you like to be a pretty bonnet?”

  Tristan entered and halted. “I’d heard—never mind. I’ll go.” He backed out slowly. Cassie and Sidney watched him with amused smiles.

  “He’s frightened,” Sidney said.

  “At last, I’ve won the sibling battle.”

  He snorted. “All it took—”

  Cassie swallowed. She tried to think of something light to say, but the silence after all it took hung between them. The tension was broken by the arrival of tea and an assortment of sandwiches.

  Cassie poured the tea and Sidney filled two plates.

  They filled the next few moments with eating, then Cassie set her cup down, and waited until he swallowed his bite before speaking. Her stomach was too full of nerves to eat a whole sandwich, but he’d finished two in the span of minutes.

  “How was your journey?” she asked.

  “The way to London had good weather, the journey back took longer. I was forced to stop more frequently.”

  “And…everything went well?”

  His gaze was steady on hers. “It occurred to me on the way back that I never…asked you to marry me.”

  “We were not given the choice.”

  “But you should have one.”

  “So should you,” she replied. “It occurred to me that you might have someone else you intended to marry. I asked my brother, but he wasn’t much help. I don’t want you to be stuck with me.”

  He cleared his throat and took a sip of tea. “I’m not stuck.”

  “Good. What happened…it shouldn’t have to be a life sentence.”

  “But it does.”

  Their gazes locked. Heat washed through her as memories of the night that she tried not to remember came flooding back. She wasn’t ashamed. She had no regrets, but she was afraid if she dwelled on them too much, it would be that much harder to let him go. Her first taste of desire had been addicting. She couldn’t control her dreams, but she’d staunchly avoided her waking thoughts when it came to the way he’d touched her, and how good it had felt to be caressed.

  “Kisses are enough to warrant marriage,” he said.

  “Not if they’re secret. I intended it to be secret.”

  “But you still intended it to happen.”

  “Why yes, how else was I to determine if—”

  He leaned forward ever so slightly. “If what?”

  She remembered the time at Old Bill’s grave. How she’d drawn strength from him to voice her fears.

  “Will you sit beside me? Looking directly at you is making this difficult.”

  He raised a brow, but he got up and moved to the spot beside her. Cassie stared at the tea in her cup as if she could divine the right words. The words that wouldn’t embarrass both of them but declare everything that needed to be said.

  “I admire you in so many ways. I thought that a kiss would make you see me differently.”

  “It’s impossible not to see you. You shine like the sun.”

  Cassie drew in a breath. “I didn’t want things to happen like this. I had hoped you’d court me and, in time, feel the way I do. I didn’t—I still don’t know how you feel.”

  He reached for her hand and folded it in his. “I feel lucky. I’m marrying an amazing woman full of spark and compassion, kindness, truth, and courage.”

  She met his gaze. “Truly?”

  “It doesn’t matter how we start. It matters how we mean to go on. If you’ll have me. Will you marr
y me?”

  Was this an official proposal? Her ears were doing the stuffy thing again where she wasn’t sure what she was hearing.

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  Chapter 10

  The following day they married, choosing to have the ceremony outside, with only Cassie’s family in attendance and then an afternoon luncheon. It went off without a hitch, with Tristan having forgiven him and her parents acting as if nothing at all was out of place.

  But every time he looked at Cassie, something felt off. He asked her to marry him, she didn’t appear regretful, but there was something missing. Her vibrancy, her shimmer seemed dull, and he couldn’t help but notice. Did anyone else see it?

  “I still don’t know how you feel.”

  “I feel lucky.”

  Lucky? Lucky? How could he have been so dense? He should have said—well, something more romantic than lucky. But he’d locked his emotions inside for so long, he’d lost the key.

  The vicar led the ceremony, but they did not kiss. It was not mentioned in the pronouncement of husband and wife. Was that on purpose? Everything seemed so…transactional, and Sidney hated it. No wonder Cassie appeared somber. This was hardly the wedding she deserved.

  He wasn’t precisely eager to kiss her, not in front of her family, and the idea of spending their first night together under her parents’ roof, with her brother down the hall, made his stomach squirm. He decided to hold off until their journey to Star Frost. He’d speak to her about it first. He’d already upgraded his cabin on the ship to something more presentable to a new bride, but his nerves were shredded and the one person he should be talking to, he couldn’t. He didn’t know the words to explain his long-held yearning for her. Would he come off too strong? Frighten her with his ardor?

  Looking back at the night of the Mistletoe Masquerade, he couldn’t tell reality from fantasy. Had she enjoyed it? Had she been willing? It was those thoughts that made him hesitate and pull back. But the more he questioned himself, he knew he was just stalling.

  He’d dwelled so much on the unknown that he was only procrastinating like a coward. All the answers he needed could be found with a simple conversation.

  Why was this so difficult?

  He could tell her how he felt, but doing so felt like willingly impaling himself on a hot spike. He’d hidden these feelings for so long that revealing them now was akin to torture. Tristan was his closest confidant, but in this, he could turn to no one. After the luncheon, Cassie disappeared and Sidney went in search for her.

  A foreboding had settled over him, and he refused to let this day become any worse for her. They’d appeased her parents, but it was clear Cassie wasn’t happy, and Sidney wouldn’t stand for it.

  He searched the house for her, looking in her usual favorite spots. When that proved fruitless, he ventured out to the grounds, searching the stables, but her horse was in its stall. Then the gardens, but the paths were vacant. He at last found her by the pond, somberly tossing pebbles into the dull green waters. He paused before she became aware of his presence and watched her. He liked to utilize observation before entering into any conflict, so he could feel out the best path. Not that they had conflict, no, they had a chasm between them of misunderstanding and things unsaid.

  The Mistletoe Masquerade had thrust them into this future, with neither willing to admit straight off what they had intended by their actions, or if they even knew. He certainly hadn’t. He’d acted without thought, indulging in impulse and lust.

  Look where it got him. He had to take control again. He had to make it right, not just in the boundaries of society—they’d done that—but in the depths of his conscience and her heart.

  He wanted it. The whole of it. This would not be a marriage of convenience. She was his wife now, the woman who’d remain at his side for the rest of their shared life. He wanted not only her happiness, but her love, her joys, her sorrows, her pain. All of it.

  They had to begin again, not as Tristan’s friend and Tristan’s sister, but as Cassandra and Sidney.

  Sidney moved closer and she turned, sensing she was no longer alone.

  “My lord.”

  “No need for that now, is there. Sidney will suffice.”

  She half smiled, but her inner feelings were shuttered.

  “Why are you out here alone?” he asked.

  “I needed a place to think.”

  “It’s been an unusual day, hasn’t it?”

  She froze, startled by his statement. “It has, not how I pictured my wedding, if I’m to be honest.”

  “Please. Don’t hold anything back, not from me.”

  She met his gaze warily. “What are your feelings about today?”

  “I’m glad the scandal will be put behind us, and that I am now safe from Lady Delilah’s manipulative clutches.”

  Cassie laughed. “You are most welcome.”

  “But I do wish it could have been different, less of a forced occasion, and more of a happy…occasion, I suppose.”

  “My mother agrees with you. She always envisioned a grand wedding for me.”

  “I hope she isn’t angry with me.”

  “She’s not. She’s pleased I’m married either way. She only wishes she could have seen her vision come to life.”

  He stopped beside her, hands in his trouser pockets. “What was her vision?”

  “A spring wedding, peonies, orange and pink, all of her friends melting with jealousy.”

  “Melting?”

  “Yes, they’re very competitive.”

  He chuckled. “I see. But what would you have wanted?”

  She chewed her lip. “I’m not sure. I never gave it much thought other than—” She blinked and looked away.

  His heart lurched. “Than what.”

  “Than who I might wish to marry.”

  His gut tightened. “Oh.”

  “It wasn’t a trap. Just…poor planning.”

  He smiled. She’d said as much before, but it must be weighing on her.

  “I believe you. Two women can’t have planned to trick me into marriage in one night. I’m not so vain as to believe that.”

  She half smiled. “But I was vain enough to believe that one kiss could change your mind about me.”

  His breath caught. Dare he ask? How long had she wanted him? How long had they lived like this, together, but apart?

  He’d thought Tristan would never allow it, but if Cassie had wanted it all along, could they have avoided this entire mess by simply being honest with themselves and each other? Probably, but life was never that simple. He’d never had the slightest inkling that she wanted anything more from him than…casual acquaintance.

  Was he blind or just stupid?

  It didn’t matter, they were married now. They belonged to each other, except… there was still this awkwardness. Having never spoken of their feelings.

  Until now. Why not now?

  He scanned the area. They weren’t precisely alone. Anyone could come upon them and eavesdrop without being seen.

  He was a private person.

  Then he spotted the row boat.

  “Shall we take the boat out?”

  She raised brow in surprise but nodded.

  “I haven’t rowed in years, but some things can’t be forgotten, can they?”

  “I suspect not,” she answered.

  “You can swim, can’t you?”

  “Of course, though the water is freezing. I don’t want to find out if that is a skill I remember. I can’t recall my last swimming excursion.”

  He chuckled. “Nor do I.” He handed her into the small boat with two benches. He pushed off and stepped in, then used the oar to get free of the reeds and mud.

  The boat rocked, and she giggled as she held on while he slowly balanced and lowered to the seat, setting the oars in their locks and digging the paddle into the water.

  The day was fine, the sun bright, but the air cool with a distinct nip when the breeze picked up.

  Th
e pond curved in the shape of a bean with large willows and bunches of reeds speckling the edge. They weren’t alone, nor were they always visible. Not that he needed strict privacy, just room to speak without being overheard.

  “I’m glad we could slip away and have this time to talk without interruption. We’ve had very little of it to date.”

  “I’m sorry if any blame was cast on you for my actions. I know my family holds you in great esteem.”

  “And I them, which is what makes this so…difficult.”

  “And awkward. Tristan said he chose you. He believed you and supported you.”

  “And here I thought he would never approve of me—or anyone for that matter. He’s very protective of you.”

  “And of you.”

  They shared a smile.

  “For all his faults—of which there are many—he has a big heart.”

  “For his family, at least,” Sidney said.

  “You are his family now. You’ve always acted as brothers do.”

  “I longed for a brother my whole life.”

  “Now you have one.”

  “But I fear this unexpected change will put a rift between us.”

  Sidney was silent as he rowed. His chest felt warm after her observation. Tristan was now his brother-in-law, and Lord and Lady Summers now his parents. His head felt strangely light. Tristan has said everything was fine, but there was a new tension there, an awkwardness that had never been there before.

  He shook himself free of it and focused on Cassie.

  “I want to discuss you and me. Now that we’re married, you’ll be coming to Star Frost with me. I hope that is agreeable to you?”

  She brightened. “Yes, I’d love to go. I’ve heard so many fascinating things about it.”

  “Outside of Tristan, my cousin Calvin, the Duke of Renvere, is my next closest kin. We’ll visit with him and his daughters.”

  “That sounds lovely.”