She smiled. “I’m the one who orchestrated the kiss, remember?”
“Yes, but that was just a kiss you planned for and it turned into so much more.”
“If I hadn’t wanted that, none of it would have happened. I was with you at every moment. I…I got used to hiding my feelings too until I couldn’t bear it anymore. But I never thought that you would return them. You’re so stoic and serious.”
Their foreheads touched. “We are masters of disguise.”
“Should we be spies?”
“For now, how about we just enjoy this.” He kissed her softly, in no rush, though his blood pumped hotly and every fiber of his body wanted to undress her.
“Tell me if I’m going too fast.”
“You can’t. I wanted you to make love to me in a row boat just yesterday. I’ve waited forever for you. I—I love you.”
His mind froze as their eyes met. His head grew light, and warmth flooded his body. He knew that was what he’d been feeling all this time, but the words had been as lost as his emotions, tangled in a maze of should and should not.
“I love you too. All this time, I couldn’t put it into words. It was too big and… I’ve never been in love before. I never let myself dream of love.”
“So strong and determined. Love is not a weakness.”
“This is the opposite of weak. It overpowers me.”
“Show me.”
“I want to…but I’m afraid I’ll frighten you.”
“You can’t.” She brushed her lips across his. “I’ve waited so long. From the moment we were caught, I wasn’t sure. I felt so guilty. I even thought maybe I was taking you from someone else. Show me, lose control, I don’t care. I know you could never hurt me.”
He growled as he cupped her bottom and lifted her. Their mouths fused together, tongues tangling as he carried her to the fur covered bed, intent to see her creamy bare skin sliding against the soft texture by candle light.
Cassie arched against him as he carried her to the bed and set her down, never pulling his mouth from hers as they attacked their clothing. Layer after layer was stripped from her, and she kept her hands busy with his stubborn buttons, her hands shaking from the need thrashing her hungry body. Her ache for him almost brought her to tears, but at last, her craving would be met.
No interruptions, no one to cry scandal. The ball had been the perilous beginning of this madcap journey, but here they would forge their path, as husband and wife, from this day onward. No more doubts, no more questions. She confessed her love, and he’d met it. This was better than any dream.
With every kiss and stroke of his tongue, he erased her doubts, setting fires in her soul. Her cloak was gone, then her dress, and he drifted lower, painting her skin with licks of his tongue. He loosened the ribbon of her chemise and tugged it down over her shoulders, revealing her breasts to the candlelight. He took a swollen peak into his mouth, and color filled her vision as she clamped her eyes shut, the tug of his lips and soothing lap of his tongue on her sensitive nipple pure heaven. She couldn’t stop the purr of approval that rippled from her throat as he moved to the next breast.
“You like this?”
“I’ve never felt anything soooo good,” she moaned.
He chuckled against her skin. “Challenge accepted.”
He dragged his mouth lower and continued to slowly divest her of her chemise until the light fabric slithered down her legs and over the edge of the bed to oblivion. His skilled hands positioned her, massaging her rear and parting her thighs. Her nerve endings stretched taut with delicious anticipation, remembering the pleasure that came at his hands.
Lower he moved, leaving her exposed to the soft glow of the candles and the bright moon outside their window.
She arched, the tension in her body too strong to remain still.
“Please,” she begged him.
“With pleasure,” he answered as he kissed her inner thighs, toying with the soft curls with his thumbs and probing her private depths.
Cassie was open to him, vulnerable in a way she’d never experienced before, but this was Sidney, and she trusted him implicitly. She peeked at him, and he wove his fingers through her private curls and teased her delicate flesh. Every sensation set off fireworks in her body until she was wound so tight, she could no longer take full breaths.
“Sidney, damn you, I can’t bear it.”
He growled against her, and then his tongue laved her sensitive flesh. Cassie shivered, biting her lip to keep from crying out.
He toyed with her, trading light and heavy strokes, swirls and tickles until she thought she’d go mad. She had clumps of fur between her fingers, and yet, she felt like she could fall off the bed at any moment. Then release gripped her, sweet and heavy, anchoring her in heaven. Tingles of pleasure filled her limbs as her eyes closed, and she tried to catch her breath.
But Sidney wasn’t done. His fingers entered her, first one, sliding, soothing her tight passage, then easing in a second. This was a brand-new sensation for her, sharp and filling. She cracked her eyes open, and he sat between her legs, watching his hand massage her tender flesh with a burning intensity in his gaze that made her hot all over.
She licked her lips and tried to lift her head, but her body had melted into the blankets beneath her. She wanted to move, to do something to him. He was far too clothed for her liking. He pulled his hand away and licked his fingers. Then he slowly stood and began to remove his clothing.
Cassie stared, mesmerized as he removed each article, watching her watch him.
Her body grew hungry again, wet and agitated in the soft places he’d touched her, empty of him, and oh-so needy. She pushed up onto her elbows.
At last, he reached his breeches, his last vestige of civility. Slowly he lowered his trousers to the floor, and the firm length of his arousal harnessed her attention. She held her breath. She’d never seen a man’s appendage before but this… This was not what she’d imagined. Her closest reference were images of art she was scarcely supposed to glance at, and all those men had been…flaccid.
He strode forward confidently, the muscles of his thighs shifting, the strength and grace of his body so beautiful her mouth went dry.
He went to her side of the bed and lifted the furs. Cassie wiggled underneath and he joined her. The touch of his body, skin to skin, was her new favorite sensation. She snuggled closer, relishing every texture of his body. His smooth chest, the crinkly hair on his legs, everything was bliss.
His hands roamed her body, and she returned the action. Was she dreaming? She could hardly believe that she was naked in a bed with Sidney. But her dreams had never felt this real. Even fantasy could not compare with the real man. The sensitive tips of her breasts brushed against his chest. A delight to her senses. He held her close, and the tenderness in his touch, the passionate grip of his hands was enough to undo her. Tears pricked her eyes, but she would not let them fall. He would think her upset or afraid, but she was far from those emotions. She was flying high on pleasure and love, tossed in a sea of bliss and passion. Cassie never wanted to come down, she never wanted this to end, and suddenly she understood. Had they been at her home, in her room, in the family wing of the house, would she have felt this free?
Would she have been able to face her family over the breakfast table after a night of carnal delights with Sidney? It would have been terribly embarrassing.
But now she was here with him, right where she always imagined herself to be. But her wildest imaginations had not prepared her. Her mother had made vague reference to bodies and duties last night, but this was so much more…consuming.
Sidney hitched her leg over his hip, and the rounded tip of his manhood brushed her slippery flesh. The sensation made her squirm wantonly. She moved against him, using the slickness of her body to glide along his firm staff, discovering new sensations and ways to increase her own pleasure.
He nudged her onto her back, his hips cradled within hers, and probed her with his
fingers, parting her folds, and pressing the smooth hot head of his arousal into her.
Cassie stiffened, but in his eyes, she saw only love, patience, and his burning desire for her. She arched her hips to his, begging him with her body. He slowly thrust, steadily, through the tender resistance of her muscles, eased by the slickness of her own arousal. He stretched her, the sting mixing with the pleasure of his groin against hers.
Cassie arched, and he took her breast into his mouth. At once the pain was gone, and pleasure ravaged her from head to toe. Her body took over, moving with him on instinct as he thrust inside her over and over, sucking her nipple, holding her tightly against him.
Another release crashed through her, leaving her breathless and senseless as he growled her name, his hips pumping faster and harder until he stiffened, holding himself above her, hips and hearts locked together.
His eyes were closed as his body eased, and they cuddled in the firs, quiet, the only sound in the room their breathing. Cassie stared at the flicking candles until her eyes grew heavy, but then her stomach rumbled.
Sidney kissed her shoulder. “I’d almost forgotten about the food. It may be cold now.”
She liked the sleepy satisfaction in his voice and hated to move out of his arms, but her stomach wanted sustenance.
“Can we eat in bed?”
“I like that plan. Wait here where it’s warm, and I’ll make us a plate.”
She boldly watched him as he strutted naked from the bed and busied himself with preparing a plate. He was the perfect man—handsome, muscular and lean, kind—and he filled half the plate with sweets. How had she gotten so lucky?
She peeked up at the mistletoe above them, framing the windows. Perhaps the legends were true. The Mistletoe Masquerade held magic, and those who kissed under its leaves were destined to fall in love.
Cassie had fallen in love with Sidney years ago, but it took a scandal to bring about the wedding and land her the man of her dreams.
Chapter 12
Sidney woke before first light. He didn’t know what woke him, but he couldn’t feel his left arm or see a damn thing. His faculties slowly came back to him as his vision adjusted, and light slowly grew from the windows. He turned his head to the side and watched the pearly purple light of dawn wash over Cassie’s face. Her pale red hair sprawled over the pillow under her head, silky and beckoning for him to run his fingers through it. She was the reason he couldn’t feel his arm, it was under her shoulders, and she was fast sleep. The slow deep slumber of a soul truly at rest.
She looked so beautiful; he couldn’t breathe. But he didn’t care. He’d be happy to stare at her like this until his heart stopped. He prayed that he could make her happy, that he’d never let her down, or worse, cause her pain.
He didn’t know where these doubts came from, but he was determined to fight them.
He pulled his gaze away and stared at the shifting shadows on the ceiling. How had he gotten so damn lucky? He recalled the night he and Tristan rode back from the ball. They’d stayed and tried to quell speculation, but Lady Delilah had gone and spread word about he and the mysterious redhead, but it was Tristan’s light-o’-love for the evening, Mrs. Hornberry, who had identified Cassie as the lone woman. And Tristan had turned to him with a mask of pure rage.
Sidney hadn’t known what to say, or how to begin to explain what exactly had happened, how he had come to be alone with her, locked in each other’s arms. But the guilt…the total feeling of helplessness, it was just like the night Tristan was stabbed.
It was Sidney who insisted they take a shortcut through the park, Sidney who was too inebriated to fight off a sloppy attack from some thieves, despite years of professional pugilist training. And it was because of Sidney and his drunken-we-are-invincible- attitude that Tristan was stabbed and nearly died.
He was to blame for it all, and yet, Tristan had made him swear to tell no one about his injury. Something that, at the time, seemed like such a small request, but every time he faced Lord and Lady Summers, or Cassie, he felt like a traitor. He’d almost cost them the life of their beloved son and brother.
His stomach turned. Was that the source of his guilt when it came to his feelings for Cassie? Why he never felt he was good enough or deserving enough?
He closed his eyes, and his mind filled with images of that night. So clear and pungent. He could still smell Tristan’s blood. Could still hear the scrape of his boots on the gravel as Sidney struggled to his side, frantically searched for his pulse, and then called for help.
But no one came.
The puddle around Tristan only grew bigger and Sidney was…helpless.
But everything after that was a nightmarish blur. He’d somehow gotten Tristan up and carried him to the brothel.
A brothel, of all places.
Sidney had told so many lies on Tristan’s behalf. It had taken two days for him to wake up, and when he did… Well, he was amused to find himself in a brothel surrounded by pretty and concerned harlots.
But the lies, the secrets, the shame, the guilt, it ate at Sidney. How could he have been so stupid?
That was precisely how he’d felt when he’d been caught with Cassie.
Stupid.
He’d done it again. But it was her reputation on the verge of death, not her actual life. He’d met with Lord Summers that very night and swore he’d do the right thing; he’d sworn it to Tristan in the drive, and Tristan had punched him.
He’d let them all down.
Again.
Disgusted with himself, he eased his arm out from under her and dressed. Sidney couldn’t remain in that cabin, alone with his thoughts while Cassie slept.
He didn’t feel deserving again, and he couldn’t bear for her to wake up and see him in this mood. She might take it as regret or think it had something to do with her.
He closed the cabin door softly and went up on deck. The sun had just begun to kiss the sky, and the crew was working fast. They’d already left the mouth of the harbor and the wind whipped through Sidney’s hair as he stepped up to the railing and stared down at the blur of water passing by.
Would he ever be rid of these feelings? Would there ever come a time when he would deserve her, when he would look at her brother and parents and not feel like a fraud? He was a titled, wealthy man with a reputable family. The cousin of a duke, but he’d made mistakes in his life he couldn’t forgive himself for. He didn’t know how.
But his cousin might know. He’d picked the remains of his life up from the ashes and made something out of it for his daughters by sheer strength alone. Sidney hoped Calvin might have something to say that would help. Until then…he had to go on pretending, for Cassie’s sake, that he believed he was good enough and never let her know the truth.
Arriving in Star Frost, Cassie couldn’t peel her gaze away from the bustling port as the carriage, sent by the Duke of Renvere, collected them and carried her and Sidney into the hills of the island. Sidney kept her hand clasped in his as he stared out the opposite window.
“You’ve never been here before?”
“No. He only arrived earlier in the year. The house needed some repairs, and the girls needed time to adjust. My cousin thought Christmas would be a good time for a visit.”
“Oh no, I didn’t bring anything for the girls!”
Sidney grinned at her. “Don’t worry. I’ve brought enough to spoil them properly.”
“Do they not have an uncle?”
“He had two brothers, but neither survived past toddlerhood. It’s a shame, really.”
“What happened?”
“Illness. His family was plagued by illness. Even he was once severely sick as a child, but he pulled through.”
“How sad.”
“He grew up alone like I did, but we had each other on occasion. Our families were close but lived far from each other.”
“I should feel lucky I had a brother growing up, but I can’t muster the lie.”
He chuckled. “T
ristan loves you. He just prefers not to let you know it. He fears you’ll use it against him.”
“What?”
“You could have him wrapped around your finger if you wished. If only you knew the trouble he’s gone through to defend you.”
“Defend me? Against what?”
He ran a knuckle down her cheek. “Men who can’t hold their tongues regarding your beauty.”
Cassie blushed. “I…I don’t know about that.”
“Believe it. We’ve bloodied enough idiots between the two of us.”
“You’ve fought others over me?”
“Countless times.”
Cassie inhaled as the heat of desire washed through her. “I don’t know why, but that excites me.”
He pulled her closer. “Truly?”
The four-day voyage to Star Frost had passed in a blur. Cassie and Sidney had hardly left their bed. Even when a squall rocked the boat and the waves frightened her, Sidney had kept her calm and distracted with the wicked use of his tongue. Cassie had learned her own tricks for bringing him to his knees. There was nothing she didn’t know about him now, inside and out, except for that one secret he wouldn’t share that day at Old Bill’s grave. And though he seemed to have found a way to relax with her, there were times when she would see an air of sadness about him. She didn’t understand it. But in a blink, it would be gone, and he would be back to his fascinating and roguish self.
She didn’t push, but she suspected it involved her brother, and that’s why he kept the secret. There were probably things about Tristan she never wanted to know.
She set her hand on his thigh, knowing he’d be distracted by her touch. She loved that she had this power over him.
“Who did you fight over me? I hope you didn’t hurt someone seriously.”
Have Yourself a Merry Little Scandal: a Christmas collection of Historical Romance (Have Yourself a Merry Little... Book 1) Page 104