Run To You: The Damaged Series - Book Four

by Shayne McClendon

  “You’re an impeccable actress but no one can hide that much pain. Not when it’s carved into your marrow.”

  For a long moment, she held his gaze in silence. He didn’t blink. Softly, she told him, “You and I would descend into a black hole of darkness together.”

  “Darkness can be strangely comforting sometimes.”

  “Not the kind we’d create. I eat happiness and spit out misery, Elijah. People like you, people like me, we require light to balance the inky black inside. Isaiah tempted me but I knew I’d poison his life.”

  “You are fascinating.”

  “Hardly. Just a pretty girl capable of fooling the world into thinking she’s human, who often counts minutes to see how many can be endured.”

  “The friend you wish to find…”

  “Rowan.”

  “Did you count the minutes when you were near her?” Nina shook her head. “Then I promise to bring you every piece of relevant information about her within a week.” He bowed slightly. “Watching you perform was incredible. It’s an honor to meet you.”

  Inhaling carefully, she replied, “Thank you, Elijah.” He returned to Harper’s side and Nina glanced up at Isaiah. “Don’t drink too much with the girl who just started. She’s a recent sorority girl and she’ll kick your giant ass with shots.”

  He blew her a kiss. “Noted. Shall I escort you to your dressing room?”

  “Uh. Babysitting not required. Expect a big check from Harper for your new shelter. I mean...astronomical.”

  Harper snorted. “That’s...confident.”

  After she winked at Isaiah, the big man turned and exited the backstage area laughing. Nina walked close enough to Harper that inhaling lightly brushed her nipples against his chest. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she stroked them to his neck and down to his abdomen, pressing gently.

  “Here are the rules...don’t fall in love with me, don’t think you own me, and if you try to compensate me for our time together as if I’m for sale, I’ll make sure you regret it.”

  Staring into his silver eyes, she let her palms continue lower to cup his cock and balls.

  “I don’t fake orgasms. Ever. Do make an effort.” Leaning close, she went up on the balls of her feet and whispered at his ear while staring into his bodyguard’s eyes, “I can smell Elijah on you and it’s hot. You’re immune to what I am. He’s not. That threesome won’t work. You’ll have to play with me alone. However, he’s welcome to watch.”

  She dropped to her normal height and continued fondling his cock. “Are these rules of engagement acceptable, Harper?” Eyes half-lidded, he nodded. “Excellent. Follow me to my dressing room for a blowjob before I shower and change.”

  Then she walked around Harper, bumped Elijah with her hip as she passed, and felt a sense of calm settle over her.

  Controlling men with sex always gave Nina a sense of purpose, of power, that was hard to duplicate anywhere other than the stage.

  She needed the rush.

  She needed the release.

  Harper Delkin was going to reap the benefits of a day when she counted all the minutes. In return, he was going to help a lot of homeless people...and find Rowan.

  Her next session with Kelley would be filled with a lot of tsking. Sometimes, Nina wondered if she did outrageous things just to shock her wonderful therapist.

  Then she realized she’d have done all of them anyway.

  Entering her dressing room, she held the door for Harper and Elijah. When they were inside, she closed and locked it before shoving a shocked Harper against the wall.

  “At all times, I’m in control. The power is in my hands, my mouth, my pussy, and my ass. Trust me, this will be better for both of us.” She kissed him aggressively and he moaned. Against his lips, Nina whispered, “Now take off that expensive suit and show me my new toy. I’m starving.”

  In a daze, Harper did as he was told.

  Then she sucked his cock until he begged her to come, two of her fingers buried deep in his ass.

  Adrenaline flooded her veins and she didn’t stop until he could no longer stand on his own. Elijah held him up as she drank his boss down.

  Getting to her feet, she slowly removed the scant clothing she wore. “I’m going to shower and then I’d like your mouth on my pussy. It’s going to be a while before your balls are full enough again to fuck me. I take more than most so you should use the time wisely.”

  Then she walked to the small in-room bathroom and scrubbed herself quickly to remove the sweat and makeup from the performance.

  Returning to the main space, she sat in a chair in the corner and lifted one leg over the arm, opening her naked body wide. Harper didn’t hesitate to drop to his knees between her thighs and get to work.

  Head back, eyes closed, hand in his hair, she rode the experience as tension drained away.

  Power.

  Control.

  A high like no other.

  How fucked up she was.

  How little she cared at the moment.

  Chapter Four

  2002 - Age 25

  Nina picked up the phone on her kitchen wall with a frown. She received so few calls at her apartment that it took a minute to realize it was ringing.

  “Hello?”

  “Miss Adams?”

  “Yes. Who is this?”

  “My name is Bennett Jefferson.” He paused and Nina gripped the receiver tighter. She knew him to be one of the wealthiest men on the planet. “When Harper Delkin visited me recently, your name came up in conversation. I recognized it immediately.”

  “Did you?” she asked hoarsely.

  “Oh, yes.” He cleared his throat. “Harper assured you Rowan was safe and happy? Not in possession of a cult or vanished on the streets to drug addiction?”

  “He did. H-he had a picture of you both at your home.” Nina worked to settle her racing heart.

  “For his parents, he said. I find Rowan to be glowing. What is your opinion, Miss Adams?”

  “She’s beautiful, obviously happy. I’m glad. I just wanted to be sure…” Nina stopped the words about Rowan’s past before they left her mouth. “I didn’t want to bother her.”

  “I know that, Miss Adams. Harper explained your panic, your fear that something had happened to Rowan. I respect that sort of devotion.”

  “You-you have our relationship all wrong. Please don’t tell her I was asking about her, trying to find her. It’s best…”

  “What a strange request. Who is your best friend now, Miss Adams? There in New York, who is the person you consider closest to you in the world?”

  Closing her eyes, Nina admitted, “Rowan. It’s always been Rowan.”

  “As I thought. Rowan regales me with stories of your childhood together and her joy is clear during those conversations. I purposely bring you up just to enjoy how animated the topic makes her.”

  Gripping the edge of the kitchen bar until her knuckles were white, Nina tried to figure out how to navigate one of the biggest regrets of her life in casual conversation with a stranger.

  Bennett didn’t give her the chance. “Rowan told me about your affair with the man she loved. We’ve talked about that experience extensively to help her work through the sadness and conflict. She’s changed substantially since you knew her, Miss Adams. I think you’d admire those changes.”

  “I-I…” She had no clue what to say.

  “As I’m sure you know, Rowan’s birthday is approaching. She’s far younger than I, with many magnificent years in front of her. I’d like you to attend her party. Make an effort to mend your friendship. It’s one my wife still prizes highly, Miss Adams.”

  “You’ve made a mistake, Mr. Jefferson. She wouldn’t want me there. I won’t ruin…”

  “I dare you,” he said softly. “I dare you to attend her birthday party, look Rowan in the eye, and see what happens. Whatever you’ve built up in your mind is light years from the reality, Miss Adams. I’ll put your name on the guest list. If what Rowan has
told me about you is true, you’re far too brave to turn down a direct challenge. Prove me right.”

  Mind spinning, Nina considered his words. “She told you that about me? That I never turn down a dare?”

  “Oh, yes. As I said, Rowan talks about you extensively and with a sparkle in her eyes. I’m more than three decades older than my wife. Do you understand what that means, Miss Adams?”

  Frowning, she whispered, “Are you...alright?”

  “The point is that even if I were in pristine health, I shall widow Rowan far sooner than she’ll be prepared for.” There was a long moment of silence. “She will need you.”

  Swallowing hard, Nina closed her eyes to consider how Rowan might deal with such a loss. “Alright. I’ll be there.”

  “I knew I could count on you. I’ve invited Miss Jeffries and Gage Chambers as well. It will be a reunion that is long overdue and one that will sooth my wife in a way she doesn’t yet admit to needing.” The room tilted and Nina gripped the countertop more firmly. “Trust me, Miss Adams.”

  “I trust no one, Mr. Jefferson.”

  “You’ll trust me and I’ll make certain you never regret it. Also, call me Bennett. I think we’re going to be great friends.” She could almost hear the smile in his voice as he added, “I took the liberty of having my assistant check your rehearsal schedule so there wasn’t a conflict. I look forward to meeting the woman Rowan speaks so eloquently about.”

  “This could be a trap...but she’s earned the right to revenge.”

  “Rowan?” he asked with incredulity. “You think Rowan wants revenge?” He laughed. “No. It’s not a trap. In fact, my wife will be blindsided when you arrive.”

  “I hope this doesn’t blow up in your face, Bennett.”

  “See you in a couple of days, Nina. Travel safely.”

  The moment the call ended, she called Kelley’s office. Sophie answered on the first ring. “I need an emergency session, Sophie. See if there’s room in the schedule.”

  Her therapist’s niece laughed. “Silly woman. You should know by now that she doesn’t schedule after four in case you need to pop by. Is today good?”

  “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

  * * *

  The following day, she tipped the car service driver who picked her up from the Dallas airport and stepped out on the gravel drive of Miss Jeffries’ home.

  It was surreal to be back.

  The only mother she’d ever known stood on the porch. “Nina! You get on up here, girl!”

  Grinning, she made her way across the yard and up the steps to hug the woman tight. Inhaling deeply, she murmured, “Miss Jeffries. It’s so good to see you.”

  “How much you been drinkin’, honey?”

  “So much,” she confessed instantly. “More than ever before. I’m scared to death.”

  “No excuse to abuse spirits, honey. You go on inside and take a nice shower. Maybe a nap. Your old room is empty. Gage is drivin’ us over to Austin in his truck. You know I’m no good on the road anymore.”

  “G-Gage is driving us?” Her anxiety ratcheted up a notch.

  “Poor thing went on a two-day bender when Rowan’s husband invited us to her surprise party. Tabitha was worried sick about him. Gave him a talkin’ to and he straightened up yesterday. Can’t have him addled behind the wheel.”

  Tilting her head, Nina asked, “How are you leaving the home? We’ll be gone two days…”

  “Well now, Bennett called a service out of Longview and got them to send a couple of real fine ladies up to take care of the girls I have and keep an eye on the place until I get back.” She shrugged. “I only have three girls right now. Two seven-year-olds and an eleven-year-old. They’re out of school for the summer and Tabitha promised to check on things.”

  The elderly woman patted Nina’s hip. “Go on now. You smell like a distillery and I can’t have that ‘round the little ones. Get cleaned up and sleep. Dinner’s at the usual time. If you’re not down, breakfast is still the same time, too.”

  As far as confrontation went, it was as riled as the woman who ran the home ever got. She never raised her voice or berated those around her. She stated her displeasure and reinforced a routine to get things back in line.

  It was a people skill she’d perfected over fifty years of taking at-risk girls into her home and making sure they were safe and fed day in and day out.

  “I love your version of being pissed off, Miss Jeffries.”

  “Language, Nina! Tsk, tsk.” She smiled and her pale blue eyes sparkled. “I’m a little ruffled but not too bad.”

  “I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

  Carrying her suitcase upstairs, she was amazed at the memories that flooded into her mind. She showered, dressed in leggings and a tank top, and stretched out on one of the beds.

  She crashed for twelve hours.

  Racing downstairs, she skidded into the kitchen. The glare of the sun-filled space, the smell of bacon cooking, and Gage Chambers standing in the middle of the room combined to make her hold up her hand and charge for the downstairs bathroom.

  After vomiting violently, she returned to her old room, showered, brushed her teeth, and dressed rapidly.

  Entering the kitchen with her chin up, Nina cleared her throat. She started to make an excuse when Gage laughed.

  “Seems like you been drinkin’ as much as I have. My nerves are shot, too. No need to explain, Nina.” He walked to her and hugged her lightly. “Good to see you again. I hope Miss Jeffries is prayin’ to beat the band that we make it through this thing.”

  Hugging him back, she nodded against his jaw. “Hi, Gage. I’m sorry. Not sure what we’re walking into.”

  He released her and stepped back, slipping his hands into his back pockets. “Neither am I but one thing I know for sure is that Rowan wouldn’t roast us publicly. She never believed in airin’ dirty laundry on the street.” He shrugged. “Can’t see her changin’ that much. Can you?”

  Nina shook her head. “No. No, I can’t.”

  Miss Jeffries tapped her spatula against the pan. “You two quit gabbin’ and eat somethin’. We need to be on the road in twenty minutes. Come on now.”

  Hours later, they turned onto the drive of a sprawling mansion estate just outside Austin.

  Gage whistled low. “I feel really overwhelmed.”

  Smacking him on the arm from the passenger seat, Miss Jeffries said, “Son, you come from money that don’t look much different than this to most folks. Pull it together.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  A guard waved them through the massive iron gate after checking their credentials. “Pull through the portico. A valet will take your vehicle.”

  Nina’s stomach was in fits as they got out of the truck and were escorted through the house to the back courtyard.

  It was Gage who saw Rowan first.

  He breathed, “Oh sweet lord…give me strength.”

  Following his line of sight, her eyes landed on Rowan. Her hair was longer. She wore an elegant sundress and heeled sandals. She was laughing with an attractive older man and the love between them was obvious.

  One foot in front of the other, Nina made her way to a woman she hadn’t seen in seven years. Gage kept Miss Jeffries on his arm and they stayed close.

  The man with Rowan, who could only be Bennett Jefferson, glanced past his wife, murmured something to her, and then turned her to face them.

  Shock.

  Embarrassment.

  Happiness.

  All emotions that flickered rapidly over Rowan’s face when confronted with the people - and circumstances - of her past.

  Nina couldn’t believe the matured beauty, poise, and intelligence that Rowan exuded into the air. She was shy at first but graceful, calm, and genuinely attentive.

  It was clear in every way that Rowan was deeply in love with her much older husband. When she gave Bennett physical support, she attempted to hide it.

  Watching them together was fascinat
ing. There was something unique - even unusual - about their relationship but Nina couldn’t put her finger on it.

  After a few minutes of conversation facilitated by Bennett himself, the awkward tension lessened considerably.

  Miss Jeffries sat between Nina and Gage. It was a visual they’d created to reinforce that they weren’t together. For Nina, it was critical that the message was sent - even though Rowan was happily married.

  She wanted to remove the image of that night at eighteen but knew it wasn’t possible. Such tactics were as close as she could get.

  They’d been talking for a few minutes when Rowan looked around with a smile and motioned for someone to approach. A man walked under the canopy and winked.

  It felt as if Nina’s heart stopped.

  Rowan couldn’t contain her affection as she patted the big man’s forearm and said to Nina, “The first time I met James, I couldn’t get over how similar he looked to you. The masculine and feminine sides of the same coin. Crazy, right?”

  “Uh…” Nina had never felt the foundation of who she was shake. It did now. “H-hello.”

  “Miss Adams. James Statton. A pleasure to meet you.”

  He was gorgeous but that wasn’t what she noticed about him. It wasn’t the height, the perfect body, the features so similar to her own, or the sound of his voice.

  It was the way he glowed.

  Something about him filled her with light, with hope, with a longing she didn’t understand and wasn’t sure she liked.

  He extended his hand and Nina put hers in it. His caramel eyes held hers and she was struck dumb, speechless, for several seconds.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Statton.” Nina’s voice sounded stilted. Her breathing was too quick and her heart slammed against her sternum.

  It almost felt like stage fright.

  He didn’t release her hand. Patting his arm again, Rowan returned to her conversation with Miss Jeffries and Bennett chatted with Gage.

  As if they were alone in the world, all the sounds around James and Nina seemed to fade. Every part of her focused in on the man.

  Still holding her hand, he knelt between Nina and Rowan’s chairs. It brought them eye to eye.