The Truth About Cowboys

by Jones, Lisa Renee

  “If we do this, and we go bad, then what? I’m here. I’m working with your grandmother. I’m afraid of losing you and her.”

  “We’ll go slow. We’ll test the waters.” He strokes my hair. “We are too damn good together to just say no to this. I can’t. I don’t want to. Can you?”

  “No,” I whisper. “No, I can’t.”

  “Good. Then spend the night with me. Wake up with me. Go to the barn with me in the morning and everything else. Let’s see where this goes.” He settles his hand under my hair at my neck and kisses me. “Say yes.”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. I want to watch the draft again, research and all. You in?”

  I tell myself to pull back. I tell myself I could lose a friend, lose Martha, but I can’t do it. “Yes. I am. I’d like that.”

  “Good.” He pulls his phone from his pocket. “I need to make a call real quick.”

  “I need to put on shoes. I’m not going to get over the mouse thing quickly.”

  He laughs. “I’ll meet you in the living room.” He kisses my forehead and walks out into the living room.

  I look down at my feet and freak out, thinking about another mouse. I hurry to the closet, grab a shoe, and turn it over, checking for mice. Then I repeat with the other shoe. Once I know that I’m safe, I sit down on the bed and put my shoes on. Kelly joins me and I scold her. “Don’t throw mice at me!”

  She meows her objection and I head into the living room to find Jason at his desk. My heart falls. He turns a hard stare on me. “Why are my bills on your desk? Why?”

  “I stumbled on them and—”

  “That didn’t make you look. You made a list of my bills.”

  “I know, I just—”

  “I should have taken the time to clear out my desk. I should have known—”

  “Jason—”

  “Does my grandmother know?”

  “Not about those bills, but she told me there was trouble. The banker called her. That’s why the cookies—”

  “Holy hell, you made her think that she’s got to pay the bills by baking.”

  “No. Not at all. I’m investing money. I put ten thousand—”

  “I don’t need your charity. I don’t need to be your pet project to make yourself feel like you have purpose again. I need to go talk to my grandmother.” He heads for the door.

  “Don’t take the cookies from her. Don’t make her feel like they’re a problem for you. She loves this. She’s excited. You’re being defensive and prideful to an extreme.”

  He doesn’t look at me. He opens the door.

  “Jason!”

  “I won’t talk to her until I get back.” That’s all he says. He leaves, convinced that I’m no different than everyone who’s ever burned him. He’s living in the past, turning me into Tessa, who knew his struggles and still turned on him. This is so badly timed. Together we’ve just officially made sure that he goes to meet the Rangers, worried about his grandmother while hating me. And right before the anniversary of his parents’ death. I’m not sure we can come back from this. I’ve probably lost the family I’d just found.

  CHAPTER FIFTY

  Jessica…

  I try to call Jason several times, and when he doesn’t answer, I consider going to his house, but I fear that will only upset him more. He needs to focus on his future. I settle on a message. I start talking, pouring my heart out, and then I hang up.

  I love him.

  It’s too soon, but I love him. The kind of love I have never felt. And apparently love doesn’t wait a respectable amount of time. It does what it pleases and it claims who it wants. I sit on the couch, pick up my computer, and start writing that romance novel. The words pour out of me, and it’s really an easy story. It’s a cowboy and a city girl. It’s a romance I now know. Only the one on my computer is going to have a happy ending, even if mine doesn’t.

  …

  Jason…

  I arrive in Dallas, around eight, a few hours after my explosion with Jessica. I enter my hotel room and toss my bag on the bed. I look down at the missed calls and breathe heavily before I listen to the message.

  Jason, you’re my friend. More than a friend. You and I—from the beginning—look, I should have told you I knew. Your grandmother told me I couldn’t tell you she knew. I love her, Jason. I would never make her feel like she had to pay the bills. She wants to live, and she wants you to live. She wants you to play ball. I thought about packing and leaving, but then I leave your grandmother and our little business, and we both love it. If you want me to leave when you get back, I will. I’ll look for a place nearby but not on the ranch. I don’t want to, but I will. Just—get the contract. Your grandmother wants you to get the contract. And you want it and deserve it.

  Anyway—other stuff I just won’t say. Good luck. So much luck.

  I lay back on the bed and replay it, listening to it again. And again. I want to believe her, but I told her about this, and she couldn’t even tell me my grandmother knew the trouble I was in. And made her work to pay the bills I couldn’t pay.

  I feel like a failure.

  A failure about to play ball when ultimately, this camp, and baseball, are my way out of this. I need to be here. I need to be focused. And then I’ll come home to my grandmother and to Jessica. I’ll figure out what that means when I leave Dallas.

  I stand up and walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror with pride staring back at me. I have to take care of my family. I need Jessica to know I could take care of her even if she’d never let me. Damn it, I inherited this mess and now she thinks I can’t manage money. And I did mismanage it. I didn’t do enough to get new money in. I kept trying to fix things by staying in a box. I need to fix this. I’m going to fix this, and then I’m going home and she and I are going to talk, preferably naked, but any way I can get her to listen.

  …

  Jessica…

  I check my phone for messages all night long and wake up and do the same. I type a text to Jason that reads, Good luck, and delete it. Just hearing from me might make him lose focus. He has to focus. I arrive at the farmhouse to bake at the crack of dawn with Martha, Jimbo, and several of Jimbo’s helpers, who prove so efficient that I have no regrets about not inviting Martha’s friend Evie to help.

  By nine, I’m on the road, delivering the pretty boxes with amazing treats inside. I’m at the only major retailer I landed when the manager calls me into his office. “My regional manager was here when you were here last. He tasted the cookies. I don’t know if you know but we own restaurants that feature sweets and seasonal cookies.”

  “Yes. Yes, I do know. That’s one of the reasons I thought we’d mesh well. You carry some of those seasonal cookies here in the grocery store.”

  “We do. And right now, we need a sweet seasonal treat that advertises well and gets attention. Our manager, all of us actually, think your cookies might be it.”

  My eyes go wide. “How much volume?”

  “It’s substantial, which is why he’s interested in mass producing for you with the recipe. You’d still get the credit; you’d just get a lower margin in profit.”

  “I’m blown away. This is fast. We’re new. What numbers are we looking at?”

  He hands me a folder. “Look this over. The margins are low and you won’t be able to sell the cookies anywhere else for a year, but you can piggyback the success and sell other things.”

  “Thank you. When do I need to let you know?”

  “This week. We have other vendors lined up to get this placement. Honestly, it was a random happenstance that he happened to taste your cookies.”

  I take the folder, and once I’m in the car, I read the offer. It’s a lot of money, but the margins are low and the cookie is the centerpiece of the business. The cash flow, though, is probably enough to turn the ranch around. That
alone is a win, and it lets Jason just go play ball with no pressure. I want to tell him, to discuss it with him, but he doesn’t want me involved in the ranch finances. That’s obvious. I feel like I won a battle for him, but I’m the enemy. I think I have to ask Martha to talk to him. And I can’t even tell her until I know he’s through his audition. She might call him.

  He’ll be back soon. I’ll share the good news then. I start to smile. This is big. This is exciting. Damn it, if I can’t tell the people involved right now, I’m calling Shelley. And so I do. I call her, and good friend that she is, she shouts for joy with me.

  Once we hang up, I call my agent and I pitch a cookbook by Martha. She likes the idea. She wants a proposal. Now, I have something I can share with Martha.

  I drive a little faster. I’m going to share happy news with Martha, and when Jason gets back he’s going to be happy about it, too. If I have to tie him down and let Kelly pounce on him until he listens.

  …

  I park at Jason’s house and exit my car with a bounce to my step, excited to talk about the cookbook with Martha. She greets me on the porch and she’s crying. My heart starts to beat erratically and my knees are weak.

  “Jason,” I shout as I drop my purse and run toward her. “Is it Jason?”

  “I don’t know, but I’m terrified.” Her voice cracks. “He won’t answer his phone. The bank called demanding money and he’s not there. He told me he was there. He didn’t show up.”

  Relief washes over me and my hands settle on her shoulders. “He’s meeting with private investors. Some very powerful people. I’m sure he turned his phone off. He knew you were with me. I told him I’d look out for you.”

  She grips my arms. “Oh, thank God. Thank God. You have no idea what I’ve been going through, and I didn’t want to call you and upset you while you were driving.”

  “How very selfless of you. This is going to be okay.”

  “It’s a lot of money, Jessica. I don’t know if he can get it in time.”

  “How much by when?”

  “Thirty thousand by Friday or they’re going to foreclose.”

  “I’ll call my agent and ask for my advance to be rushed. It’s enough.”

  “We can’t take thirty thousand dollars from you. This place is a mess. You may never get it back.”

  “Jason’s good for it, and I’ll call my ex and pressure him. I have three hundred thousand that he owes me. It’s my entire savings, and the more I think about him holding it, the more pissed I get.”

  “Oh my God. That’s a lot of money.”

  “It is.” I debate and decide now is the time. “I have news, but you have to promise not to call Jason. He’s doing big things right now. He needs to be focused, and he’s not happy I started pimping you out.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” she says. “You are doing no such thing.”

  I cross my arms in front of me, remembering the heat of his words. “He wants to take care of you and the ranch. I saw some of the bills. He figured that out. It’s complicated, but just promise me you won’t tell him this news until he returns.”

  “Okay, yes. What is it?”

  I tell her everything and she starts hopping around, shouting with joy, to the point she has me laughing and smiling until my cheeks hurt. “I love you, honey!” she exclaims and hugs me.

  Tears prickle my eyes, but this time they’re happy tears. Half an hour later, we’re sitting in the kitchen when I call Craig. To my shock he answers on the first ring. “You want money.”

  “I’m done being ignored. You have two days or I’m going to the partners. I have an investment opportunity worth big money, and if you make me miss that, you’ll be paying me back a lot more than what you stole from me.”

  “I’m sure that will do a hell of a job getting you your position back.”

  “I don’t want to come back. If you think I’m bluffing, I’ll call one of the partners now. Jillian loves me, but she does have a big mouth. I might not have to wait two days for the rest of the partners to find out.”

  “You are such a bitch.”

  “Yes. I am. The kind of bitch that will go to the partners and take a copy of the moral clause with her, while spilling all your dirty secrets.”

  “I’ll get you your money by Wednesday.” He hangs up.

  “Well?” Martha prods, searching my face.

  “He’s getting me the money by Wednesday, which means he always had it to give. I let him push me around.”

  “Sounded like you pushed him around.”

  “Yes. Well, times are changing, and we’re paying off the bank on Wednesday no matter what. And I have a good feeling Jason is coming back with good news.”

  “When will he be back?” she asks.

  “I don’t know,” I say, taking her hand. “But we’ll bake cookies and wait on him together.”

  A knot twists in my belly at a new dilemma. If I pay off the bank note before he approves me doing so, he’ll hate me. If I don’t pay it off before he approves the idea, he might not let me. The idea of me paying off that bank note and how furious he will be with me proves downright daunting.

  Martha squeezes my hand. “I see the worry in your eyes. If he’s mad at you when he comes back, he’ll be in hot water with me,” she says. “I’ll kick that butt of his the way only a grandma can.”

  She can and will, but that doesn’t make things right for me and Jason. And I really want us to be right.

  CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

  Jason…

  The mound felt good. My arm felt good. I had a hell of a Monday with the Rangers.

  I sit at dinner with Russell James, a damn good manager who, at only thirty-eight, is the kind of young and hungry that wins, as well as one of the owners of the team, the energy at the table telling me they know, too. Edward, the owner, a sixty-something man with billions, finally takes this talk where I want to go. “Tell me about the camp.”

  I can feel myself unnaturally animate as I start talking. No matter what happens with my game, I have learned a lesson. It doesn’t matter if it’s baseball or apples, one thing can’t be your only thing if you want security. The way Jessica and my grandmother both want security, security that I plan to give them.

  Edward’s engaged in what I say, leaning forward, asking educated, thoughtful questions. An hour later, he says, “I’m in. I’ll personally invest, and as for the role the team itself will play, I think we need to decide that after we talk about you.”

  Russell chimes in, inching his chair closer to the table. “Why’d you walk away from baseball, Jason? You were on top of your game and obviously your arm is just fine.”

  “You have to have ideas.”

  “I don’t know what was in your head. I can’t know that. I’m not assuming based on speculation or press. I want the real answer. Your answer.”

  I don’t even hesitate. “My parents died. The ranch was damn near bankrupt with a hundred and fifty men counting on me for paychecks. And I was worried about my grandmother.”

  “And now?”

  “My parents are still dead. The ranch is still bankrupt. My grandmother is an entrepreneur selling cookies. Meanwhile, I’m still not playing ball and that just doesn’t feel right. It never has.”

  “You sure as hell didn’t stop practicing to be able to pitch like you did today,” he comments.

  “Every day,” I say. “I practiced every day. I can’t not hold a ball and then throw it.”

  Edward and Russell exchange a look before Russell says, “You play for us, man. I need your arm, and we will make you one hell of a sweet deal to ensure you don’t go shop.”

  For a moment, just a moment or maybe it’s ten, the room fades away, the clink of glasses and hum of voices becomes empty space. I’m here. This is really happening. This is my dream, and it’s found its way to me not once, but twice.<
br />
  “Jason?” Russell prods.

  I snap back to the room, to Russell and Edward. “I look forward to seeing what’s in the contract.”

  The other two men smile, and Edward holds up his glass. Russell and I take a hint and raise our glasses. “To The Flying J wearing a Rangers uniform,” Edward says.

  An hour later, I sit down on my hotel room bed in stunned disbelief. I want to call Jessica. I want to call my grandmother, but that negotiation could go all wrong. And the reality here is that I really fucked up with Jessica. I need to see her in person. I grab my phone, turn it on, and find several messages from my grandmother that amounts to a lot of worry. She’s easy to get to that place after losing Mom and Grandpa, and guilt stabs at me. I should have checked in with her sooner. I wonder how she’s going to deal with me being on the road, and a part of me doesn’t want to go down that path. Jessica’s lecture about living life, me and my grandmother, comes back to me, though. Living in a shell at the ranch isn’t living. I glance back down at my phone. It’s late and Grandma will be asleep, but I text her back: All is well. I’ll be home Wednesday or Thursday. Love, Jason.

  …

  Jessica…

  Tuesday night comes with me in bed, wishing Jason would call, wanting to call him. The day had started the same. Me running and then spending some time in the barn where Jason practices, willing him to call me. When that hadn’t happened, I’d showered and then headed to his house with Kelly in tow. That mischief maker finds his bed and goes to sleep, like she’s telling me that’s where we both belong. I let her stay there. I want to be there, so I’ll live vicariously through her. That’s my life now, living the higher life through the eyes of a sphynx cat born naked and boldly living just as buck naked.

  I spent the rest of the day in the kitchen, writing, and reviewing our cookie contract, while Martha has me sample random cookies to be the new top product. Lying in bed now, I think of the apple cobbler cookie that had won me over, for the taste and the connection to the ranch. I really believe I can sell cookies along with the bags of apples that allow people to achieve the same flavor at home. We can be a team. Jason grows apples. Martha bakes. I sell the products. I roll over and punch my pillow. Too bad Jason will hate the idea. I shut my eyes and will Jason to stop being a stubborn, prideful asshole. I want him to just be his regular asshole self.