Prairie Fire

by Djuna Shellam

  “When did you plan on letting me know, Fiona? Did I not make it obvious for the last year how I felt?” Prairie fought back tears that were about to flow with a vengeance. She wasn’t one to cry, but she also had never been in such a hurtful situation with the perfect reason to cry until now.

  Fiona sighed and closed her eyes. She cared for Prairie, but there was something about being in a committed relationship with anyone, man or woman that made her claustrophobic. Talking about it made it even worse. She hated hurting Prairie, but Fiona wasn’t in love with her. She couldn’t pretend to experience or want something she didn’t just to make Prairie happy—it would be dishonest, wouldn’t it?

  “Right.” Fiona closed her eyes. She obviously had gotten everything wrong. “What can I say, Prair? I cocked everything up, I guess,” she said with remorse. “We should have had a conversation, but I thought we were on the same page.” Fiona’s heart hurt. “I was wrong. I’m sorry. Really.”

  ~/~/~/~/~

  They’d been at each other for the last six months since London about nothing and everything. After returning from London, they tried to go back to what they had, but since they each had their own version of what that was, it no longer worked. Still powerfully drawn to each other physically, their intimacy remained passionate when they could manage to stop bickering, but overall, their friendship suffered immeasurably. Prairie felt betrayed and rejected; Fiona misunderstood and smothered. After a while, Prairie began to think of herself as some kind of readily available sex object, but the truth of it was, she had become physically and emotionally addicted to Fiona.

  More and more, Prairie dreaded going back to the carriage house. The night before they’d had a huge blowout, over how Fiona did the dishes. Prairie knew it wasn’t about the dishes, but a small annoyance had turned into an enormous shouting match that was really all about Prairie’s broken heart. At the pinnacle of the fight, Fiona stormed out of the their little home. By the time Prairie had to leave for work the next morning, Fiona still hadn’t come back. It was a sleepless, tear-filled night, leaving Prairie exhausted and emotionally drained.

  Despite everything, Prairie still loved Fiona—she couldn’t stop if she tried—and she still thought of her as her best friend. In time, Prairie had come to the sad realization that her expectations of Fiona were her own problem, and not Fiona’s. She either had to ignore her own wants and needs, and cut off all contact with Fiona—forever—or she could try and get over herself and her unrequited romantic issues and just go back to being friends without benefits.

  It wouldn’t be easy. When they made love, Prairie could mostly forget that Fiona didn’t love her back. She could be close to her, pretend they were what she wanted them to be during those precious, intimate encounters. But deep down inside, Prairie knew the truth and it was killing her. When she was honest with herself, she knew cutting off all intimacy with Fiona would be the hardest thing she’d ever done; still, Prairie could not bear to not have Fiona in her life. Going backward was the only way forward.

  Prairie straightened the items laying about on her desk, stood up and lethargically exited the small room, flicking the light switch on her way out. She headed for home with a heavy heart. Filled with sorrow, Prairie knew what she had to do.

  THREE

  The Movie Colony

  3.1—1996

  “Here you go, gals. Come and get ‘em,” Dot said as she leaned over and set the tray of Virgin Bloody Marys on the table. Tall, barefoot, tan and fit, Dot Baverstock wore khaki shorts and a lime green polo shirt with the collar popped. Her long salt and pepper braid hanging down to the center of her back, the fifty-something Dot stood straight up and put her hands on her hips and laughed lightly, “This is how we start the day in Palm Springs.”

  The oldies radio station played at a comfortable volume, loud enough to hear, soft enough to talk over, on a small stereo sitting on a shelf on the veranda. Intermingling with the music were the sounds of birds, crickets, palm fronds rustling in the desert breeze, a lawn mower, and the occasional barking dog.

  “Aw, thanks, Dottie,” Eve replied as she lazily lifted herself out of the wicker chair on the veranda to retrieve a drink for her and Em. The light filtering into the covered outdoor space bounced off Eve’s short blonde curls with evenly dispersed white highlights, giving her an almost angelic look. Long, tan legs gave the illusion her baby blue Dolphin shorts were shorter than they were, and the chartreuse, tight-fitting spaghetti-stringed tank top fit her tan, athletic body perfectly.

  “You are spoiling us. Right, babe?” Em asked Eve, her green eyes shining. She flashed a bright white smile, winking at Eve from where she relaxed on the matching sofa next to Eve’s chair.

  “So right,” Eve replied as she walked over to Em and handed her a cocktail. Eve was practically devouring her lover with her eyes over what she was wearing—a pretty little white sundress with a faded floral pattern—and not wearing. Eve knew Em was braless and wearing nothing underneath the sundress but pink lace panties. Eve sighed, and smiled knowingly at Em. Em smiled back, cocking her head quizzically. Eve’s eyebrows quickly jutted up, ever so slightly, letting Em know what her look meant. Em immediately understood. She inhaled quickly, grinned and shook her head slightly as if to say, You’re a bad girl, Evie. But the damage was done. Eve lusting after Em made Em want her, too—just as much, if not more.

  After two and a half years together, Em and Eve felt as if they were still in the honeymoon stage of their relationship—they could not get enough of each other. Each and every day they expected their desire for one another to taper off as it had for their other friends in their own couplings, but it hadn’t. Not even slightly. If anything, it only seemed to get stronger. Their lovemaking was never planned, or expected, but without exception, from their very first time as lovers, each day began and ended with passionate lovemaking. An afternoon romp if they could work it into their schedules was always an option. After two years, they stopped questioning why they hadn’t experienced waning appetites as “normal” couples did, and just accepted how fortunate they were.

  “Well, hell’s bells,” Dot answered, seemingly oblivious to the subtle erotic interaction between Em and Eve, but she wasn’t. She didn’t miss anything. Feigning indignation, she added, “I’ve only been waiting forever for you two to get your tails back out here to visit me in Shangri-La! If I want y’all to come back sooner than later, I gotta spoil you some,” she said as she lowered herself in her own chair facing the pool. “Ain’t that right, Sweet Pea?” Dot poured on her heavy Southern accent—the one she used when she was fooling around. “And we don’t mind, neither, do we little girl?” Dot asked her black and tan, long-haired Chihuahua who immediately jumped onto her lap, quickly burrowing herself into Dot’s body. Dot picked her up and kissed her on the nose before letting Sweet Pea curl up into a ball on her lap.

  Em and Eve exchanged knowing glances that their needs would absolutely be tended to as soon as the first opportunity presented itself.

  “Oh hey,” Dot exclaimed, cocking her head to listen. “I love this song. Ivey did, too. Let It Be Me. Boy does it bring back memories…” It was their song—at least one of many they called “our song.”

  “That’s the, um…” Eve was searching her memory banks for the name of the singers.

  “Everly Brothers,” Em and Dot said in unison.

  “Wow!” Eve laughed. “I think I actually detected a little harmony between you.”

  Em and Dot looked at each other and giggled.

  “Listen to those boys sing,” Dot waxed nostalgic. “That was when music was good, wasn’t it?”

  Em and Eve agreed, smiling at Dot who was momentarily lost in the music and the memories it triggered.

  Eve took a deep breath in as she looked out onto Dot’s property. “Gosh, it’s always so beautiful here, Dottie.” Eve took a sip of her drink as she gazed out onto the grounds of Dot’s small estate in the famed Movie Colony. “All the plants and flowers you have…
just here on the veranda are so beautiful. And they’re all alive and healthy!” Eve laughed, looking at Em who nodded her head in agreement. “They’d all be dead if they were on our veranda, right Emmy?”

  “It’s the truth,” Em reluctantly agreed. “We don’t have a green thumb between us.”

  “Ah, well, I musta got all yours,” Dot teased, “’cause I can grow most anything. I got a knack for it. So’s Wave,” Dot bragged. “You know, some of these here, I’ve been growin’ in some way or t’other for nigh on to twenty years. They love me,” she said, pouring on her Southern for effect, and smiled broadly.

  “Well, it’s just beautiful here, Dot,” Eve said dreamily. “And peaceful. I still can’t believe you were able to snag this property for so little! When I think, this used to be where all the super rich movie stars lived…” She giggled a little, remembering how much her star crazy mother, Evangeline, enjoyed visiting Dot’s. We should bring Ev out with us next time. She loved being in the midst of Hollywood history—it was her world. Then Eve immediately thought better of it. Too much of her mother would drive her insane. Theirs was an interesting relationship. Ev was a controlling mother, and Eve hated to be controlled. They loved each other deeply, but Eve found that physical distance between them and a phone call every week made for a much more amicable relationship.

  Dot nodded her head solemnly. “Don’t I know it. We were in the right place at the right time.” Then she beamed, adding, “And it just keeps gettin’ righter and righter by the day!” She laughed a loud, boisterous laugh.

  “‘Course, we got it for a song, but to get it to this,” she swept her arm dramatically in front of her to indicate the ranch-like grounds, “We could have bought us a whole damned musical!” She laughed again, joined by Eve and Em. “I prefer our ranchy style better than all the hoity-toity, highfalutin stuff in this neighborhood. It’s the damned desert, for hell’s sake!” Eve and Em chuckled at Dot’s feigned indignation.

  Set on just shy of two acres, adjacent to the world renowned village of Palm Springs, the mini-estate was the former weekend getaway for some movie executive Dot had never heard of before her realtor showed her the property.

  Back in the golden age of film, the Movie Colony was where the Hollywood moguls and stars went to escape the Hollywood microscope in their pieds-à-terre from the 1930s to the 1960s. Over time, despite being located in an area where major and not-so-major streets were named after Hollywood stars, the colony briefly fell out of favor for other famous sunny California destinations, the most popular of them being Malibu. Some of the properties, left untended for years due to being hung up in probate limbo, ended up on the market in the 1980s, far below market value.

  Built in 1928, Dot’s Spanish Colonial Revival six bedroom, three bath home included a screening room, a library/office, a maid’s room, a 2 bedroom casita with a wine cellar, an Olympic-sized swimming pool, half an acre of citrus trees, and a three car garage with a tiled party deck on the roof. All of the estate’s structures were contained within three-quarters of an acre, with the rest of the property landscaped with indigenous wild flowers, citrus and desert shade trees. It had more of a wild Western feel to it than the palm tree and cactus manicured estates that surrounded Dot’s property.

  “Didn’t Barbie help you?” Em asked. “I seem to remember…”

  “Sure did,” Dot replied. “Ivey and I told her what we wanted, you know, the best we knew how to explain it, and she created this masterpiece. Well, the fact is, she did the designs, and then Chip came out and did all the backbreaking work. Stayed with us almost three months. Nice kid.”

  “Oh, that’s right, I remember now,” Em said. It had been nearly twenty years since Dot and Ivey initially purchased the property. A lot had happened since to upstage landscaping details.

  “He was such a hard worker,” Dot said proudly. “He and Deedee had just split, so I guess he was trying to keep himself occupied. And what a great influence he was on Wave. That boy tagged on Chip like his little shadow. Wave still talks about when Chip was here.”

  They all smiled at the image of little Waverly following Chip around.

  “They’ve come out several times over the years,” Dot added. “Barbie and Gwen. Golly… I haven’t talked to those girls in a coon’s age. I should give ‘em a call one of these first days,” Dot said. “You’re still in contact with them, aren’t you, Em?”

  “Mmmhmm. Not as much as I should be, but…” Em’s voice trailed off as she instantly remembered when she first moved into the Hill Top Place house with Prairie and her roommates.

  “You’ve met them, haven’t you Evie?” Dot asked.

  “Oh, yeah,” Eve replied. “They’re great fun. Nice people. Em was so fortunate to hook up with them.”

  “That she was,” Dot agreed enthusiastically. “Everyone’s okay, though?” Dot asked Em.

  “Mmmhmm,” Em replied. “Chip’s daughter Mary, you remember her, Dot, his kid with Deedee?”

  “Oh, yeah, Ivey and I met her when she was still a’cookin’,” Dot laughed.

  Em smiled at Dot’s reference to Mary in utero. “Well, she’s in college now, believe it or not, and also works at the shop with Chip and Kim.”

  “I liked Deedee a lot, and was damned disappointed when she and Chip split, but… I’ll admit, I love Kim. I think they’re better suited for each other,” Dot said.

  Em nodded. “I agree. Their twin boys, Cameron and Connor, are, I think, already starting junior high.” Em shook her head, remembering Chip as a single man. “Barbie’s semi-retired now. She’s still got the shop, but now Chip and Kim run it. Lovey’s planning on retiring any minute now. Though, for all I know she already has.” Em grinned to herself thinking about Gwen, the house mother. “And, they’re all living in the same house—on Hill Top.”

  “They are?” Dot was amazed. “With Barbie and Gwen? When did all that happen?”

  “It’s been a little while, but yeah,” Em replied, agreeing with Dot’s surprise at the living situation. “The twins must have been about ten or eleven when Chip and Kim moved in and took over Prairie’s old room. Mary’s staying above the garage now where Chip used to live, and the twins are in Macie’s old room. Oh!” Em exclaimed. “How could I forget Macie? You won’t believe it, but Mace is living in Belize now!”

  “Really,” Dot said, somewhat surprised.

  “Yeah,” Em said, impressed. “She retired from the Air Force, um… I can’t remember how long it’s been. She traveled around for several years before she finally landed in Belize. She has a scuba business down there. Gives lessons, rents equipment. And, she has a partner, a woman she met down there on vacation from Minnesota. Apparently she’s really happy. Or so Lovey says. I haven’t spoken to her myself in a few years, but since Belize, I get a postcard, every month or so—the exact same one every time—that says, ‘Having a great time, wish you were here. Come visit! Do it! NOW!’”

  They laughed, remembering Macie’s humor.

  “What about Prairie,” Dot asked Em, her voice softer. “You talked to her lately?”

  Em shrugged. “Here and there. No in-depth conversations. The last time we really had a substantive conversation was, y’know…” Em looked down in her lap. “After everything.”

  Eve and Dot knew she was referring to the episode on the yacht, after which Em had contacted Fiona, Prairie, and Deirdre to apologize for not being truthful about Alice’s death. Em sighed. “She’s doing really well. Moving steadily up the ladder. She’s in Seattle now.”

  “The Mariners?” Dot asked, incredulous.

  “Yeah,” Em nodded her head with pride.

  “Wow. Now that’s somethin’ isn’t it? I always liked her—little flirty spit-fire she was.” Dot smiled, recalling the first time she met Prairie at Em’s birthday dinner. “Holy moly. She sure could work a room full of women, couldn’t she?”

  “Ah, yeah. She was definitely a charmer,” Em agreed.

  Em and Dot got quiet, thinking of their o
wn experiences with their mutual friends from Highland Park, especially Prairie. Em made a mental note to call Prairie soon. She also needed to call Barbie and Gwen when she and Eve got back to L.A. and schedule something. It had been too long.

  “Oh,” Em said with enthusiasm, “I almost forgot, Camille sends her love. She was going to come out with us this time, but at the last minute decided to go with Gracie to Japan.”

  “Aw, that’s sweet. I love that itty bitty thing,” Dot said, her fondness for Camille, Em’s friend and literary agent, evident in her face. “Now what are those girls doin’ in Japan?”

  “Gracie has a shoot there for the next two, maybe three months. Camille doesn’t know if she’ll stay the whole time, but,” Em shrugged, “she said she was going to give it a go. It’s hard on her when Gracie goes on location for long periods of time. I don’t blame her.”

  “Hell no,” Dot agreed. “Me, neither. What’s the point in bein’ with someone if you’re not with ‘em? Am I right?”

  Em nodded and smiled sadly, thinking of Prairie and how their long-distance relationship had failed, partly because of the distance between them. Em sighed. “You’re so right, Dot.”

  Eve sat quietly, taking in the surroundings as Dot and Em chatted. She didn’t mind being an observer while her two favorite women shot the breeze. She especially loved seeing Dot so relaxed. It had been a long time since Ivey’s death that Dot had seemed so easy and calm. She was more herself, at least the self she was when she and Ivey were together, more so even than she’d been the last few times Eve and Em had seen her.

  “It suits you here, Dot,” Eve said. “I remember how surprised I was when you two didn’t retire in Tennessee or someplace in the South. You never struck me as Palm Springs types; but now, it’s hard to imagine you being anywhere else—it’s so you.”