by Levine, Nina
Scarlett: I just think they’re probably not getting good sandwiches at their place. Makes them all jittery for some bare skin.
Chelsea: Don’t keep us in suspense, Nash.
Nash: It turns out our boy J thinks nuns really can fly. Along with fuckin’ pigs. He volunteered us to take care of the church lawn and garden, and said we’d get right fuckin’ on that this week and then do it every week.
Velvet: Well, I guess it’d be a nice thing to do.
Harlow: And surely if a few of you did it each week, it wouldn’t take you long.
Madison: I think it’s a lovely thing to do. Great idea, J.
Nash: Yeah, because we have all the fuckin’ time in the world to dedicate to mowing and fuckin’ weeding. At a fuckin’ church.
Carla: What’d you tell her?
Nash: It’s fuckin’ hard to say no to a nun when she’s standing in front of you smiling from ear to ear with gratitude because another brother’s already fuckin’ said yes to her. This woman had to be ninety. I haven’t got it in me to say no to a fuckin’ ninety-year-old.
Scarlett: Aww, look at you being all nice, Nash.
Gunnar: So we’re mowing every week now?
Nash: Yeah, starting tomorrow. You volunteering for this week, brother?
Gunnar: Count me in.
Griff: I’ll help out this week.
Scott: I’ll take next week.
Wilder: I’ll do next week.
J: Remind me to always send a ninety-year-old over when I need shit from you, Nash. She fucking played you. We discussed some crazy shit but not her lawn.
Nash: The fuck? She talked my fuckin’ ear off for ten minutes about you and the conversation you had about the church garden.
J: No, she talked to me about her good old days when she used to love riding on the back of a bike with her boyfriend. Back when she was seventeen. I had to fucking hear about how she liked to hold on to him on those rides, and how close she liked to get to him.
Scarlett: *gasp* a nun who maybe isn’t a virgin *insert shocked emoji*
J: I’m pretty fucking sure she’s not. I think those legs have seen some things.
Sophia: LOL it sounds like you didn’t really enjoy that conversation, J.
J: You try talking to a nun with “Me So Horny” fucking blasting from your phone while she’s hellbent on discussing the rumble of a bike, with “rumble” referring to something a fucking nun shouldn’t be referring to.
Madison: *insert laughing emojis* OMG I need to meet this nun! She sounds like fun!
Carla: Agreed! Any woman who can play my brother and get him to agree to doing shit he doesn’t wanna do is a woman I need in my life.
Nash: I can usually tell when I’m being fuckin’ played. She gave no fuckin’ indication she was making shit up.
Madison: That’s my favourite part of this story *insert laughing emoji* You had no idea *insert laughing emoji*
Scarlett: Oh, Nash.
Carla: Also, it sounds like she was a sister, not a nun.
Nash: Who gives a fuck about the technicalities? She had the right fuckin’ costume. She looked like the fuckin’ flying nun.
Scarlett: Side note: I used to love that show when I was a kid.
Carla: You and Nash have something in common. He did too.
Nash: I fuckin’ didn’t.
Carla: Yeah, you did. Gidget too.
Scarlett: Oh, so it wasn’t about the nuns, Nash? It was a Sally Field fetish?
Gunnar: Okay, so are we still mowing then?
Griff: Yeah.
Nash: Fuck no.
Madison: You can’t let a nun down, Nash!
Nash: Just fuckin’ watch me.
Velvet: Baby, you can’t.
Nash: Fuck.
Scarlett: Sign him up. But watch out if any of those sisters look like Sally Fields. He might just get his Gidget on and #RingtoneGate will morph right into #GidgetGate.
Nash: *insert two middle finger emojis*
10
Nash’s Speeding Ticket Text
Layla: Girls, since the last Sunday Spa Day went so well at the bar, I’m thinking about doing another one next month. Are any of you guys available to help out?
Harlow: Absolutely! Which Sunday?
Layla: The second Sunday of the month.
Madison: I’m in.
Layla: I was actually thinking that if the next one does as well as the first one, I might hold them once a month. Maybe make it a second-Sunday-of-the-month kind of event.
Chelsea: OMG I love this idea. Yes!!
Sophia: Count me in too.
Carla: I wish I could come, but Havoc and I will be in Tasmania that weekend.
Nash: Why the fuck are you going to Tasmania?
Carla: You say that like Tasmania’s a bad idea.
Madison: What do you have against Tassie, Nash?
Nash: Nothing. It’s just a long fuckin’ way to go.
Carla: Havoc wants to do a road trip down there. I’m just going for the sex.
Nash: Again, a long fuckin’ way to go for something you can get here.
Carla: Havoc, baby, next time you’re with Nash, you need to educate him.
Nash: About sex? I don’t fuckin’ need an education on that.
Velvet: That’s the truth.
Velvet: Also, Layla, I’m good for the spa day.
Scarlett: Carla, you need to tell us more about this sex.
Madison: Yes! What am I missing here?
Carla: You’re not missing anything, Madison. I just like to rev my brother up.
Scarlett: So when you say you’re going for the sex, you just mean you don’t really care about the road trip?
Carla: I’m into road trips, but I’m really into the sex we have on them. Havoc gets horny AF on our road trips. And it’s not hard to convince him to pull over and fuck me on his bike.
Nash: Fuckin’ hell, I don’t need to hear about your fuckin’ sex life, Carla.
Carla: Well, you asked why I was going to Tasmania.
Nash: I’ve changed my mind. I don’t give a shit why you’re going there.
Madison: Are you grumpy today, Nash?
Scarlett: He does seem grumpier than usual.
Harlow: What’s going on, Nash?
Madison: Where’d you go, Nash?
Velvet: He’s grumpy over some speeding tickets.
Harlow: Some? Multiple?
Velvet: Yeah. I got one and his mum got one.
Sophia: Why’s he grumpy over that?
Velvet: The cars are registered in his name, so the tickets came to him. And he’s lost the points on his licence. I think that’s what he’s grumpiest about because he’d already lost some points before this.
Madison: But you can switch those points to you.
Velvet: Right, but he won’t.
Carla: Well, that’s his choice.
Velvet: I know, and I’ve told him to do it, but he’s being stubborn about it.
Madison: Nash, where are you?
Scarlett: You need me to send a unicorn over to cheer you up, Nash? I could search for a green one just for you.
Nash: Where the fuck is everyone else? We need a change of fuckin’ topic here. And Scarlett *insert middle finger emoji*
Madison: Yeah, where are all the guys?
Scarlett: Jesus, did they figure out how to get out of this chat hell?
Harlow: Scar, admit it, you like this chat hell.
Carla: We could go back to discussing bike sex, Nash. Or I could share details on my new amazing vibrator.
Madison: Oooh, tell us about the vibrator.
Nash: Don’t fuckin’ tell us about the vibrator.
Scarlett: Oh please do tell us. Use as much description as possible.
Nash: *insert two middle finger emojis*
Velvet: I think maybe we should go back to discussing the spa day.
Scarlett: Wilder, are you still in here? Seriously, if you’ve left, there will be no more sandwiches for you until you get
me out of here.
Nash: If he’s left, he’s not gonna fuckin’ read that.
Scarlett: You know, Carla, I’m super interested in having more bike sex. You got any hot tips on ways to change it up?
Nash: Jesus fuckin’ Christ, I’m out of here.
Scarlett: Maybe go pay your speeding tickets, Nash.
Wilder: I’m still here.
Nash: Where the fuck is everyone?
Wilder: No idea.
J: I’ll tell you where we fucking are. We’re fucking mowing. Remember how you set that shit up the other week, brother?
Gunnar: It’s fucking hot out here.
J: And you wanna know what’s worse than a heat wave? Dealing with fussy fucking nuns during a heat wave.
Gunnar: Nuns who wanna measure the length of the grass after you mow it to see if it’s short enough for them now.
J: And who then tell you to take another half an inch off when they already fucking told you just one more inch before the last fucking inch you mowed.
Scarlett: Oh fuck, Nash. I think now really is the time for that green unicorn.
Carla: Or maybe I could talk about my vibrator now?
Nash: *insert three middle finger emojis*
11
Clit Text
Carla: Did you know that the clit has around 8000 nerve endings?
Velvet: Wow! I didn’t know that!
Carla: Also, what you see of the clit is just the tip. Like, the outside part of the entire thing. And it spreads feeling to 15000 other nerves.
Madison: No wonder my entire body feels like it’s being taken over when J’s doing his thing.
Sophia: Right?! I read somewhere once that the clit can grow as we get older.
Harlow: Yes, I’ve read that too. After menopause.
Scarlett: Seriously, we get 8000 nerve endings all in the smallest body part that no man can ever fucking find.
Nash: I wanna know how the fuck they count all those nerve endings.
J: I wanna know why the fuck we weren’t aware that kind of job existed.
Scarlett: It has to be a female-dominated profession. Most men wouldn’t make it past the trial period.
Carla: LOL. Another fun fact is that dicks have about 4000 nerve endings.
Madison: Are you studying a degree we don’t know about, Carla?
Carla: No, I was just googling vibrators and came across an article about how they might be poisoning us which linked me to an article about clits and then to orgasms. Did you know there are 11 types of orgasms?
Velvet: I see a busy night ahead for Havoc *insert laughing emoji*
Chelsea: Wait, go back to vibrators poisoning us. How?
Carla: If they’re made from poor-quality plastics they may be endocrine disruptors and cause things like infertility, breast cancer, heart disease and other health issues.
Velvet: Honestly, you and your brother are the same person, Carla. He read something about this the other week too and threw my damn vibe away.
Carla: Was it a cheap one? From what I read, they’re the ones that could be a problem because they’re likely made with cheap plastic.
Velvet: No, not a cheap one.
Carla: Okay, so we aren’t the same person. I wouldn’t have thrown it away.
Nash: Dicks were made for a reason.
Carla: Well, sometimes dicks aren’t around.
Madison: And sometimes the dick belongs to a dick who needs to figure out how not to be a dick before we’ll want his dick again.
Chelsea: What she said ^^^
Scarlett: Aww, Nash, look at you being all caring and shit. Worried about vibe plastic.
Nash: *insert middle finger emoji*
Havoc: I think Nash is on to something here. Time to throw out the vibes.
Carla: Ah, no, not time to throw out the vibes.
J: Agreed. Vibes must go.
Gunnar: Yeah. No one needs endocrine disruptors or whatever the fuck that plastic is.
Madison: You throw out my vibrators and it’ll be the start of a new world war. One you won’t like, J.
J: I’m not ready for you to die, Madison.
Madison: *insert rolling eye emojis*
Velvet: If you throw our shit out, it’s an excuse to go shopping for a whole new wardrobe of vibrators… at your expense *insert shrug emoji*
Chelsea: Oooh, you’re right. I could get behind that. New toys!
Harlow: Speaking of toys, I saw that you can get a glass dildo made with your loved one’s ashes inside it. Who the hell thinks of this stuff?
Nash: I’m fuckin’ putting that in my will.
Carla: Of course you are *insert rolling eye emoji*
Scarlett: That’s some kinky shit, Nash. Velvet’s new husband fucking her with a Nash dildo. #TillDeathDoUsPart #AllThreeOfUs
Nash: No one said anything about a new fuckin’ husband.
Scarlett: Right. Gotcha. No more sex for Velvet after you die. #CobwebsAreTheNewBlack
Sophia: This got a little morbid.
Madison: It got morbid when the talk of throwing vibrators away started. We need a change of subject.
Harlow: Agreed.
Scarlett: Oh I know, let’s talk about the Meghan and Harry interview.
Griff: Let’s fucking not.
Gunnar: Fucking shoot me now.
Scott: Christ, no.
Carla: I’ve only seen the first few minutes (let’s not discuss why, but it’s safe to read into this as to why I’m all about vibrators at the moment) but like, seriously, she had to curtsy the Queen when she met her??!!
Sophia: That blew my mind too. I mean, I get it, this is the royals, but I was like her and thought that stuff wouldn’t happen inside the family. I think maybe it’s because I’m Aussie and don’t know a lot about the royals. But wow.
Madison: I haven’t seen the interview.
Wilder: Fuck, can we go back to discussing the 11 types of orgasms?
Nash: Or how the fuck they count all those nerve endings?
Havoc: Any-fuckin-thing besides that fuckin’ interview.
Scarlett: Oooh, I’ve got it, Nash! I think it’s time for Carla to finally give us all the how-to on the best bike sex *insert raising hands emoji* Thoughts? I’m thinking the more descriptive the better. And tell me, did you pay those speeding tickets yet?
Nash: *insert two middle finger emojis*
Scarlett: *insert unicorn, dancing in red dress, and 100 emojis*
* * *
Thank you so much for reading this book.
I hope you loved it!
My next Storm book out will be COLT.
COMING APRIL 27, 2021
Book 11 in the Storm MC series.
A fast-paced, sexy motorcycle club romance featuring a heroine who keeps her man on his toes with her wild ways, an alpha who’s not afraid of a feisty woman with enough issues to last a lifetime, and a whole lot of MC action. Throw in a crazy club president whose woman has gone missing, fun Stormgirl antics, and a catch-up with all the Storm couples, and you’ve got the ending to a series that will make you laugh, swoon, and smile big over everyone’s HEA.
Echo Kade is having a bad year.
She’s dealing with a divorce, a bank balance that looks suspiciously like $0, way too many speeding tickets, and a mother who has decided to move across the world.
No mother should ever think it’s okay to move across the damn world.
Echo is ready to sell off her belongings, join a commune, and contemplate the pros and cons of celibacy.
But first, she has to help the president of the Sydney Storm MC find his old lady who has gone missing.
And that involves working with Colton Creed, a biker built for sin. A biker who opens doors for women, picks up after himself, and knows his way around that part of a woman that all men should know their way around.
Suddenly, her year is looking a whole lot better.
Celibacy?
What even is that?
You can pre-order COLT here.
My latest Storm book out was WILDER.
A sexy slow burn, enemies to lovers MC romance with an alpha who is bossy in all the right ways, a heroine you’ll wish you had as a friend, and banter that will have you swooning all over the place.
Download Wilder
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Also by Nina Levine
Storm MC Series
Storm (Storm MC #1)
Fierce (Storm MC #2)
Blaze (Storm MC #3)
Revive (Storm MC #4)
Slay (Storm MC #5)
Sassy Christmas (Storm MC #5.5)
Illusive (Storm MC #6)
Command (Storm MC #7)
Havoc (Storm MC #8)
Gunnar (Storm MC #9)
Wilder (Storm MC #10)
Colt (Storm MC #11 - coming 2021)
Sydney Storm MC Series
Relent (#1)
Nitro’s Torment (#2)
Devil’s Vengeance (#3)
Hyde’s Absolution (#4)
King’s Wrath (#5)
King’s Reign (#6)
King: The Epilogue (#7)
Storm MC Reloaded Series
Hurricane Hearts (#1)
War of Hearts (#2)
Christmas Hearts (#3)
Battle Hearts (#4)
The Hardy Family Series
Steal My Breath (single dad romance)
Crave Series
Be The One (rockstar romance)
Billionaire Romance
Ashton Scott
www.ninalevinebooks.com